Magic's Survivor
by Shaelesand
Summary: Valdemar is fighting a losing battle against Karse, the death of Herald Mage Vanyel is still fresh. Herald-Healer Afiona, the last Mavelen, may be the one to turn the tide. However, she must fight her own demons before facing off with Karse's.
1. Chapter 1

- Chapter 1 -

The slender young woman hovered just in the shadows.  Her form almost completely shrouded.  As far as Medren could tell she was probably in her mid to late teens.  As if she sensed his attention upon her she vanished through the door and out of sight.

"Who was that girl?"  Medren asked with a Bard's curiosity. 

His mother followed his gaze.  "What girl?"

"She was just there.  She just vanished into the shadows."

"That would be Afiona."  Melena explained.  "She is almost impossible to catch."

"Who is she?"

"The last of the Mavelans.  Tashir allows her to live here.  She is a spooky little thing.  She doesn't let anyone close.  I suppose it is a hold over from being raised in that nest of vipers."  Melena eyed the door sadly.  "I feel sorry her."

Medren drummed his fingers on the table.  "She doesn't speak to anyone?"

"Actually, she is deaf."

Medren, who couldn't imagine being unable to hear, felt a flash of sympathy.  "Poor thing."

~ * ~

Afiona retreated to her garden.  No one else dared enter her little retreat for fear of being turned into a toad.  She could have told them that there was no fear of that happening.  She didn't even have enough mage potential to light a candle.  All mage-gifted children had been spoiled and feted.  She had been neglected to shadowed corners and ignored.

By the time she had reached five she had preferred it that way.  Now, at seventeen, she had no reason to change.  She had no idea when someone would turn on her.

A fat grey tabby meowed a greeting as she appeared.  She didn't vacate her post on the large branch of the ancient oak.

_:Have you caught your supper yet?:  Afiona asked as she sat on the bench below the tree._

_:Mouse.  Stupid.:_

Afiona smiled slightly.  _:Fat mouse?:_

_:Stable mouse.:_

Afiona knew that the mice that the cat preferred were the fat mice that lived in the feed room in the stable.  The large black tom, another of her friends, preferred the mice that lived in the great hall.

Afiona stared up at the slowly drifting clouds.  Her life was far from bad.  She was content.

A movement on the edge of her vision made her jump.  There was the strange young man the others had been fawning over.  She slid off her bench and started to retreat.  There was only the one gate in and out of the small walled garden.  

The grey tabby leaped from her perch on the tree yowling and landed between Afiona and her pursuer bristling and screaming.

_:Trespasser!:  The thought was more a series of images than a word._

Afiona felt a stab a fear for her small friend.  

Unexpectedly the young man knelt and offered a hand to the cat.

_:Don't go!:  Afiona pleaded as the cat stepped closer sniffing curiously._

_:Smells good.:_

Afiona continued to retreat.  The young man with drew his hand, sighed with disappointment and left.  Afiona was shaking as she sank to the soft ground, unmindful of her gown.  The small cat padded to her and curled up on her lap.  

_:Safe?:  The cat asking if she was feeling safe now that the intruder had left._

_:Safe.:  Afiona answered and cuddled the cat closer to her chest._

~ * ~

Medren was shaken by the obvious fear in the girl.  She looked like a female version of his friend, Tashir, with the same golden hair, the same delicate features.

It was hard to believe she was the last of the feared Mavelans, the same clan that had nearly killed his uncle fourteen years before.  

"Medren, your mother said you were looking for me."  Tashir hailed Medren as he strolled through the gate leading to the popular garden where Medren was brooding.

"I was.  I found your little cousin first."

"Afiona?  Usually we can't get her out of her garden with out a fight.  She scares the gardeners at least once a week."

"How long has she been deaf?"

"All her life, as far as I know.  We want to send her to Haven and the Healers, but there is no one she will tolerate to take her."

"So she just lives in the garden?"

"No.  She does have a room in the family wing and she cares for herself quite well, but we are hoping the healers can help her lose her fear.  It is a crime the way they treated her.  After Vanyel eliminated most of them the servants continued to treat her as they always had, she was thirteen or so before I discovered her existence."

"How old is she now?"

"Seventeen or so.  And after three years she has lost none of her wariness.  Leshya is worried about her as well."

"What about drugging her and shipping her off?"

"We tried that.  Every animal in the palace tried to attack us.  It was a year before she would trust us even a little."  Tashir's brow furrowed with concern over his cousin.  "If she could hear I would suggest you trying to sooth her."

"I can try.  Maybe she can hear."  Medren offered.

~ * ~

Afiona patted the ground around the replanted rosebush.  Its large neighbours in its old spot were choking it out in its former spot.  Satisfied she sat back and rubbed her hands on her grubby gown.  Standing she appraised her small sanctuary.

"Lady Afiona?"  A pleasant voice asked from the gate.

Afiona didn't betray her awareness of his presence.  She knew it was the strange man from earlier.  The others said he was a Bard.  She adored music so she had been trying to listen to him, but had failed dismally.

"I know you can hear me."  

Afiona slowly turned to face him.  She started to shake, unsure of what he wanted.

"So you aren't deaf."  Medren was careful to away from her with his hands at his sides.  "Is it alright if I sit down?"

Afiona made no movement.  

"I'll take that as a yes."  Medren moved to the bench farthest from her, and also farthest from the gate so she wouldn't feel trapped.  "Do you speak as well?"

Afiona was shaking like a leaf but stood her ground.  

"Did you do all this?"  He gestured to her garden.  "It is incredible."

She didn't answer, but she did relax some.  No one had ever praised her garden.  Trees had been tamed into leafy arches over benches.  Roses and other flowering bushes lined narrow, stone paths.  Small statues she had removed from other gardens peered out of the shrubbery.  Everywhere the eye fell was colour and enchantment.  

"Don't let me interrupt you."  Medren urged.

Afiona finally moved from her position by the replanted rosebush and hurried out the gate.  She used the narrow halls the servants and pages used to reach her room where she closed the door and locked it.  Her room was exactly the same as it was when she had arrived a frightened fourteen year old.  Everything was pink and lacy and entirely unsuited to her tastes.  Not that she really cared.  It was where she slept and changed her clothing, otherwise she spent her time out in the gardens in fair weather or in the shadows in inclement weather.

She sank on to her bed and stared out the window.  She found herself wondering what would have happened if she had stayed.


	2. Chapter 2

- Chapter 2 -

The next morning she found Medren in her garden again.  Again she retreated.  After a week, with weeds starting to make their appearance among her well tended flowers, she didn't retreat.  She kept herself between him and the gate and weeded what she could.

After a month she finally let him come between her and the gate.  Her only regret was that he seemed to think that he had been mistaken about her hearing and had stopped trying to talk to her.  

It was fall when she was surprised to find him absent in her garden.  The air was nippy with the promise of winter and she had very little left to do before she resumed haunting the palace.

It was a week before he returned with his lute on his back.  She was perched atop the gate, avoiding the massive dinner inside, when she saw him.

She hurried to the ground and inside before he could spot her.  Over the past week she had heard her cousin discussing her future.

If they couldn't send her to Haven, they were going to drug her and send her to a small royal estate with some keepers.  She had no desire to be chased about by people who considered her a threat to herself; that left going to Haven and trying to find someplace for herself.  

She changed out of her worn dress and into one of the ones that had been made for her then left outside her door.  It was a simple, cream gown with bronze coloured accents.  She left her hair falling in a tumble of curls down her back.

She ran back out of the room and out into the courtyard, just as his red clad form appeared under the gate.  She dodged around a guard and didn't allow herself to hesitate as she stopped at his side and looped her arm through his.

Medren stared at her for several minutes before speaking.  "I guess she missed me."

Afiona ignored the stunned guard and resisted the urge to draw out of striking distance.

Medren continued directly to the large dining hall, expecting for her to vanish at any moment.  Instead she tightened her grip on his arm, her lone anchor, as she prepared to be the focus of all the eyes she worked so diligently to avoid.

Her cousin stared at them for several minutes as they approached the high table.  

"She met me at the gate."  Medren explained as people shifted to make space for her between him and his mother.  "I think she missed me."

"Poor dear.  She is shaking like a leaf."  Melena smiled warmly at her.  

"I guess my time wasn't wasted."  Medren offered her a dinner roll.

She accepted it daintily.  She had learned her table manners mimicking the people who sat at this very table.  

"It is too bad she has the mind of a child."  The man on Medren's far side commented.

"I am surprised you succeeded."  Tashir admitted.  "I hope this is a good sign.  I have made arrangements for her to be moved to a small estate to the north.  She will be surrounded by trusted retainers who will grant her every whim.  There is even a massive garden for her to work in."

Afiona glanced up at Medren and searched his face for his reaction.  He didn't seem very pleased by the plan for her.  Afiona knew that if she were sent to this estate it would be a prison.  She had escaped one prison already, she would not go back to another, no matter the amenities it provided.

Medren smiled at her when he saw her staring at him.  "I think she was disturbed by me leaving.  It probably interrupted her routine.  I understand people who are…simple prefer that their routines not be interrupted."

Afiona would have snorted, if she dared.  She had no real routine, except working in her garden when she felt like it, spending time in the stables and kennels with her friends, and exploring the grounds at night.  Lately she had gone more often to the gardens to see Medren than to tend her plants, but she didn't want him to know.

The conversation flowed around her as she nibbled on her roll, letting her watch everyone carefully.  Only a few were still staring at her.  Most ignored her.

Still, she kept close to Medren's side, hoping he would act as her buffer between herself and everyone else.

As the last of the meal was cleared away the pressure became too much and she slipped away.  No one followed her as she retreated to the stables.  The horses whickered as she opened one door and slipped in.

_:We looked for you?:  The horses chorused.  They all saw her as a member of their herd, a strange combination of protector and protected._

_:I was in the walls.:  Afiona responded as she stopped at the first horse.  __:They want me to go away.:_

_:Go?:  The many minds chorused._

Afiona sighed.  She had always enjoyed being around animals and speaking to them, but they were poor confidants.  Perhaps she could find a position gentling animals.  She knew Medren's father's family raised horses.  Surely they could use her.

The only horse she did not greet was the graceful white horse in the largest, plushest stall.  Leshya was Tashir's Companion.  He never acknowledged her presence but she didn't mind.  He was too awe inspiring to approach and she didn't want to be the focus of those massive blue eyes.  Occasionally she over heard conversations between the Companion and her cousin but she never tried to intrude.  

After scratching each of the horses she slipped out the back door to the kennel.  The dogs all started barking an eager greeting.  Queries for food, scratches, and to have the gates opened swamped her. 

_:Has Lily had her pups?:  Afiona asked the dogs as she started returning the greetings._

_:Many pups.:  One answered her.  _

_:Any dead?:_

_:No dead.:_

The largest dog in the kennel waited patiently for her to reach him.  He was solid black with coarse short fur.  He was her favourite.  He sat patiently waiting for her to open the gate.  Demon was also her night time companion.  The latch clicked metallically and he stepped regally out.  Any other human would have been shredded by his powerful teeth.  Demon was kept solely for breeding purposes and had the keenest nose in the kennel, but a cruel owner had broken his trust of other humans.

Only Afiona, with her ability to speak to animals, was trusted.

_:Hunt?:  Demon asked._

_:No.:  Afiona led him back to the palace, careful to avoid everyone.  __:They want to send me away.:_

Demon growled softly.  _:You return?:_

_:No.:  Afiona admitted.  Demon was also the smartest dog in the kennel and seemed to have a concept of abstract thought.  _

_:I'll come.:  Demon offered._

_:They might not let you.:  Afiona pointed out.  __:We must show them we are both harmless.  Then they may let us be.:_

_:Harmless?:  Demon seemed doubtful.  __:Defenceless.:_

_:No.  Harmless.  Will not harm handlers.:_

Demon growled again.

_:If it works, I will bring you with __me.__:_

_:Not defenceless.  Not old toothless dog.:_

_:No one would ever mistake you for an old toothless dog.:  Afiona assured him.  __:Tonight you sleep with me.  Tomorrow, you do not bite anyone.:_

_:Tonight we sleep.:  Demon agreed, not understanding the concept of tomorrow._

~ * ~

The next day it was barely dawn when Afiona, dressed in one of the gowns made for her that she usually spurned, with Demon at her side descended the main stairs.  Demon's presence made her feel more secure when the servants watched her pass.  No few withdrew quickly when Demon's gaze rested on them.

_:Food?:  Demon urged._

_:Food.:  Afiona agreed.  She just hoped that Cook was unaware of Demon's reputation._

"Oh, dear gods!"  A woman burst into the foyer.  Behind her were half a dozen servants.

Afiona really didn't want to deal with Melena.  Medren's mother looked ready to take up a sword and attack Demon.

"Here puppy."  Melena urged instead.  She held out her hand in greeting as she tried to tempt him away from Afiona.  "Be a good dog, and come here."

Demon started to bare his teeth and growl when Afiona laid her hand on his head.  _:Harmless.  Become free.:_

_:Free?:  Demon repeated.  _

_:If we don't hurt, we be set free.:  Afiona tried to infuse images and feelings of being free into the sending.  Demon lowered his lip and gazed up at her._

"The gods do protect the mad…"  A servant muttered.

"She is not mad."  Melena snapped.  "She is deaf.  Surely the dog can sense her sweet temper and that is why he has taken to her."

Afiona turned away to hide a smile.  She wasn't deaf, she just had nothing worth saying.  Demon padded at her side as she led him to the kitchen.  Normally she would just sneak in, grab some food, and flee.  If she wanted them to believe she should be left alone, she couldn't do that anymore.  

The kitchen hands stared at her for several seconds before turning back to their work.  Afiona twined her fingers in Demon's fur to keep him calm and to assure herself that she wasn't facing them alone.

"Ain't she going ta run off?"  The spit boy hissed to a nearby kitchen hand.

"Hush.  Don't ye know she is his lordship's cousin?  That makes her a milady!"

The cook seemed torn but quickly prepared a plate with the food she purloined the most often.

Afiona accepted the plate and gestured to Demon.

"The dog, too?"  The cook nodded.  Her easy nature allowed her to take anything in stride.  "We got some stew from last night that would be good for a big lad like him."

_:Food?:_

_:She is getting you special food.:  Afiona explained.  __:Good food.:_

As he scented the large bowl of stew he started to lick his chops eagerly.  _:Very good food.:_

With her plate in one hand and his bowl in the other she followed a little used corridor to a small breakfast room that was half forgotten by the rest of the house.  It was painted a bright yellow with a mural on the ceiling of a myth of some sort.  The furniture was comfortable and sturdy.

She set the bowl on the ground and curled up on the largest chair to nibble on her own breakfast.

Demon slopped stew on to the floor but left the bowl cleaner than it had been since it was made.  _:Good.:  He said with a deep feeling of pleasure.  __:Free now?:_

_:Free soon.:  She assured him, knowing soon meant anytime that hadn't happened and wasn't now._

Demon took the time to sniff every corner of the room.  _:No others!:_

_:Don't mark it!:  She exclaimed as he started to cock a leg.  __:Not good!:_

Demon's ears folded back against his head.  _:Not mark.:  He grumbled.  _

Afiona beckoned him over and scratched the spot behind his ear that she knew was almost always itchy.  _:We can do it.:_

_:Do what?:  The dog asked confused._

Afiona smiled.  _:Doesn't matter.:_


	3. Chapter 3

- Chapter 3 -

It was nearly noon when she first saw Medren.  He was wearing his bright red clothing again so it was impossible to miss him.  He had his beloved lute hung across his back and he was whistling as he headed towards the solar.

Afiona hesitated.  She wanted to hear his music but she didn't want to be surrounded by the dozens of woman that squeezed into the solar daily to weave, sew, and gossip.

_:Wrong?  Not going.:  Demon asked if anything was wrong since she froze mid-step.  _

_:You will watch, but not growl if we go see the many women?:_

_:I watch.  None touch you.:_

Afiona wished she had thought to bring Demon along as her protector before.  She felt much safer with him at her side.  _:We go then.:_

She waited until Medren settled down to play before she slipped in the door and took a seat in the corner.  A wave of whispering told her she hadn't gone unnoticed.  She tensed and rested her hand on Demon's shoulder.

_:Growl?:_

_:No.  They will scream if you do.:_

_:No growl.:  Demon agreed and his ears pinned themselves back against his skull at the thought of the women screaming.  __:Red man sounds good.:_

_:I agree.:_

Tashir's wife approached her hesitantly, one hand out as a gesture of peace.  "I wonder what brought her here."

"Maybe she is just lonely."  One of the younger ladies suggested.  "And she probably brought the dog for protection."

Tashir's wife paused and withdrew her hand.  "Could he be dangerous?"

"I doubt she would bring a dangerous dog in here."  Medren assured them.  

Afiona watched expressionlessly as everyone settled back down and Medren finished tuning his lute.  The first notes from the instrument swept through her as his Bardic Gift brought the tale to life.  

A candlemark later he set his lute aside to rest his voice and fingers.  Afiona nearly jumped at the sudden silence.

_:Attack?:  Demon tensed._

_:No.:  Afiona assured him._

Medren tuned to smile at her and beckoned her over.  She stayed where she was, just watching the women with their needles and looms.  

"Do you think she is in love with Medren?"  Someone suggested.

"She does seem to follow him quite a bit."  Someone sniggered.  "It is almost enough for me to feel sorry for her."

Afiona recognized the voice easily.  Giry had tormented her for years.  First by throwing rocks at her when she first came here, later by tripping her in the hall, now she petitioned for Afiona to be sent away, preferably to a locked, padded room.

_:Cruel.:  Demon said succinctly._

_:Very.:  Afiona agreed._

_:Bite?:_

_:No.:_

Demon sighed and resumed his watchful stance at her side.  _:Want to bite.  She be quiet if I bite.:_

Afiona scratched his ears and smiled.  _:Chase her pet cat.  Fluffy could use the exercise.:_

_:Cat?:  Demon tensed eagerly.  __:Eat cat?:_

_:No eat.  Just chase.:_

_:Where cat?:_

_:I show you later.:  Afiona put him off.  __:Like music?:_

_:Like.:  Demon agreed.  __:Go?:_

Afiona stood and slipped soundlessly from the room.  Outside the early chill of winter was starting to creep into the stones.  _:Fire?  Warm?:_

_:Food?:_

_:And food.:  Afiona led him through the halls.  __:Outside?:_

_:No.:  Demon's long tongue lolled out the side of his mouth as he trotted at her side.  __:Food.:_

Afiona led her new protector back to the kitchen.  The cook once again supplied a plate for each of them and they returned to the small breakfast room.  No one had disturbed it since they had left several candlemarks before.  Afiona placed the bowl of meat scraps the cook had saved for Demon and settled on her favourite couch.  It had been easier than she expected to start joining the flow of the palace.  She wasn't certain of what she expected but now that she had forced herself to remain when every instinct she possessed told her to run as far as she could she felt that her goal wasn't so insurmountable.

If they all thought it was because she was trying to impress Medren, let them; she would do anything to keep from being sent to another prison. 

~ * ~

Everything was dark.  She could hear something move in the darkness near her.  Try as she might, Afiona couldn't move a muscle.  A scream was frozen in her throat.

A pinprick of light in front of her slowly grew until it engulfed her.  Her heart pounded in the complete silence.  The light slowly formed into a nightmare, where the colours were harsher and brighter than they ever could be in life.  She was in a torch lit room with no windows.  The only furnishings were a chair by the single door and the table she stood next to.  The bare rafters above her played home to endless rodents.  The only other people in the room were three figures huddled around the table with her.  The hands attached to her body were larger with blunt fingers.  A scar on the hairy back of the hand was a crescent shaped scar that was horrifically familiar.

Afiona's heart froze.  She couldn't even blink.  

"It can not fail.  I am telling you, I can get her to let us in."  Her mouth said against her will.  The masculine voice had changed from the last time she heard it but she knew she would never forget it.

"Tomorrow night?"

"Of course.  Tashir will be dead within two days.  And his little 'pet' will be his down fall."

"It has been nearly fifteen years.  Will your sister even recognize you?"

"She is an idiot.  It doesn't matter if she does, she will do as she is told."

Suddenly Afiona was back in her room, Demon at her side.

_:Hurt?  Scared?:  Demon started licking her face in concern._

A sweat covered her body and her hands were shaking.  _:Safe.:  She assured the worried dog.  She slipped off the bed and padded to the window.  Resting her forehead against the cold panes of glass she slowly felt her heart slow and her breathing return to normal._

Thirteen years…

~ * ~

Afiona peered around the corner before she scampered towards her room.  She knew these halls better than anyone.

A fist shot out of the darkness and struck her in abdomen.  She collapsed to the ground gasping for breath.  There wasn't even a chance for her to look up when the foot hit her temple.

Afiona didn't need to look up to see her half brother's twisted, malicious face.  He had sworn he would get revenge.  All she had done as trip while carrying his wine but it had spilled over his new tunic, ruining the golden fabric.  

She knew from previous beatings that even if she screamed no one would come to rescue the magicless bastard.  She lay as still as possible waiting for his fury to abate.  Instead it only grew worse.  What made everything scarier for the little girl was the absolute silence.  Her brother didn't utter a word.

A blow to her shoulder rolled her onto her back.  The light from the end of the hall cast a horrific glow on the fifteen-year-old face.  The pleasure he took in each blow was obvious.  One last blow to her head sent her into the familiar darkness that had become a haven.

As she slowly opened her eyes she saw the familiar brown eyes of the healer staring back.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"  The healer held up three fingers, just inches from her face.

Afiona just stared up at him.  She hoped that if she pretended he wasn't there he would leave her alone.

"Afiona, can you hear me?"  The Healer shook her shoulder.

"Well?"  The handsome man stood several feet away from the bed with a look of vague disinterest.

"Milord, I believe your son has damaged her mind."

For the first time in her short life her father actually looked at her.  The pure disgust was obvious, even to a child her age.  "So she's worthless?"

"I am sorry sir.  But I told you before; she can't take the constant beatings.  If your son had some self-control you would have had a powerful healer when she grew up.  Now you have a useless child with no chance of her becoming anything."  The healer's tone stayed level, despite the harsh words.

Afiona just stared up at them.  Inside her heart was breaking.  She had tried to be helpful so they would love her…now she was useless.

Her father stormed from the room.  The Healer sighed and left without another word to her.

Afiona lay in the room waiting for something, anything to happen.  Not even a servant entered the room until noon the next day.  Every bone in her body screamed with pain and she couldn't even get out of bed to tend to the calls of nature.

The room was filled with the noon light when the door opened again.  Her half brother stepped into the room and locked the door behind him.

"You worthless bitch!"  He hissed and advanced on her.  The rage in his eyes was worse than anything she had seen before.  He stared down at her for several minutes but she didn't cower.  He slowly reached out and wrapped his much larger hand around her mouth and nose.  Afiona's eyes widened.

He was going to kill her like he killed her kitten.

Her vision started to darken and her dark haven beckoned her.  

She didn't want to look like her kitten.

She opened her mouth and bit down on his hand.

His scream echoed through the room but she refused to release.  His blood filled her mouth and she started to choke but she refused to release his hand.

"You idiot!"  Her father raged into the room and tore her brother away from her, ripping the flesh of his hand.  "You have already ruined her for any possible use later.  Unlike you, she had the _potential to become useful.  This is the last time I am going to say it.  Touch her again and you will be my next sacrifice.  Am I understood?"_

Her brother nodded as he backed out the shattered door.

Her father turned back to her.  There was no tenderness in his eyes even though he had protected her.  "First you were going to become a great Healer.  Now you are worth less than the sheets you lie on."

Afiona turned her head and spit the blood from her mouth.  If being worthless saved her from her brother, she would rather be worthless.

"Vedric, the carriage is waiting."  A distant cousin stepped through the wreckage of the door.  "What the hell happened in here?"

"Nothing."  Vedric turned away from her.  "Make certain Gelird doesn't kill her.  The last thing I need is her mother's family making a fuss."

Moment's later Afiona was alone again in her room.  It was many weeks later, when she was up and about again, that every Mavelan but herself and her brother exploded into dust.  The screams of so many minds had sent her cowering under her bed, trying desperately to block out the sound.

Her brother, who possessed a sharp sense of self-preservation, vanished before anyone showed up looking for Mavelans to blame for whatever they had done.

For the first time in Afiona's life she was left alone.  Unmolested, uninjured, and ignored.  A sense of overwhelming relief flood her, only a strange feeling emptiness haunted her.


	4. Chapter 4

- Chapter 4 -

Afiona shook off the horrid memories.  There was no doubt in her mind her brother was planning on using her for getting into the palace.  She was well aware people called her the Mavelan Pet because they thought she had no more mind than a dog or cat so she could be the only 'pet' he could be referring to.  She also knew that she was the only surviving sister he had.

The night the Mavelans challenged Herald Vanyel and failed every person, right down to the smallest babe with mage potential, had been linked together, giving her father an almost unlimited power base.  Her brother had no gifts, not even in potential, had been spared.  The only reason he hadn't followed in the bloody footsteps of the other ungifted Mavelans was his mother.  So long as she had her 'little precious' she left Vedric alone.

Stepping back she looked down at the still worried Demon.  _:Safe.:  _

Demon's tail started to wag as he started to believe her assurances that she was safe and content.  _:Food?:_

_:No.  Later.:  Afiona quickly dressed in a pair of old breeches and an old shirt.  __:Come.:_

Demon trotted obediently after her.

Afiona knew she couldn't take her brother on her own but her cousin, Tashir, with his resemblance to her father, scared her.  The only other person she considered approaching with her information was Medren.

She found her way to his room near his mother's room.  She didn't even knock as she pushed the door open.  In the almost absolute darkness she relied on Demon to lead her to the bed.

"Who's there?"  Medren demanded as he swung to his feet, a sword in his hand.

Demon growled and crouched, ready to attack.

_:No.  No bite.:_

"It's me."  Afiona said aloud.  Her voice was hoarse and raspy from disuse and it sounded foreign to her own ears.

"Who?"  Medren fumbled about but managed to get the embers of the fire to produce a flame.  "Afiona?"

She nodded.

"You can speak?"  Medren said in disbelief.

Afiona nodded.  "My brother is coming tomorrow night."

"Your who?  I am sorry, I still trying to get over you speaking."  Medren sank onto the corner of his bed and stared at her.  "What are you doing here?"

"My brother.  He is evil.  He is coming tomorrow night to kill Tashir."  Afiona said quietly.

Medren ran his hand through his hair leaving it on end.  "Damn.  Why did you come to me?  Why didn't you just go to Tashir?"

"He…he looks like my father.  I…he…"

"He scares you?"

Afiona nodded.

"If I come with you, can you tell him everything?"  Medren asked.

Afiona hesitated then nodded.

"Stand in the hall while I change."  Medren ordered.  "Gods, you can speak."

Afiona stood in the hall for several minutes before Medren emerged.

"Have you always been able to speak?"  Medren asked immediately.

Afiona nodded.

"You just stayed silent for your entire life?"

She nodded again.

"Are you going to talk again?"

"To tell my cousin."

"But then you are going back to being silent?"

Afiona nodded.

"Why on earth would you want to not talk?"  Medren asked confused as he led her and Demon back to the family wing.

"It's safer."  Afiona said succinctly.

"Thank you for trusting me."  Medren said sincerely.  "You said Tashir looks like your father.  Who was he?"

"Vedric."  Afiona's cold response left no doubt that she had never missed her father.

"Does Tashir know that?"

She shook her head.

"Are you going to tell him?"

She shook her head again.

Medren stopped and knocked firmly on Tashir's door.

A tousled Baron opened the door almost immediately.  "What's going on?"

"Afiona has something to say."

Tashir looked stunned then turned to face her.  "Afiona?"

"My brother is coming to kill you tomorrow night."

"She spoke!"  Tashir looked to Medren for confirmation.

"We should go somewhere we can talk."  Medren suggested.

Tashir withdrew and returned wearing a robe.  "The library."

Afiona remained silent until a fire had been built in the massive fireplace in the library and everyone had taken a seat.  Demon, sensing her nervousness, settled at her feet, between her and both men. 

"I saw my brother, through his eyes, with other men.  They are going to come tomorrow night to kill you.  They think I will open the door for them but I will not."

"Of course you wouldn't."  Tashir said with out a trace of doubt.  "How do you know he is coming?"

"I…"  Afiona glanced between the two men.  "I saw it.  Sometimes I see through other's eyes."

"How can that be?"  Tashir turned to Medren for answers.

"Farsight.  My uncle could see through other people's eyes.  If she wasn't trained she would probably only do it by accident but it is no less real."  Medren explained.

"So this is reliable information then.  They must be close."  Tashir stood and started to pace.  "How are they going to get in?"

"Gelird thinks I am an idiot and will open the door for him."

"Is he a mage?  Could he force you to open the gate?"

"No.  He has no magic.  I was considered more valuable because I was going to become a Healer.  It enraged him."

"You are just full of surprises."  Medren commented.  "You should go to Haven for training."

Afiona brightened.  "You will send me to Haven?  Not the little estate?"

"You are obviously emotionally scarred."  Tashir commented.  "But you are obviously still sane."

Afiona relaxed.  

"I'll ask Jervis to make certain the guard on alert tomorrow but to do it discreetly."  Tashir stopped pacing.  "How many people was he talking to?"

"Three, but I think there will be more coming."

"Anything else we should know?"  Medren asked.

"Gelird is as evil as Vedric."

"Thank you Afiona."  Tashir said as he headed towards the door.  "Why don't you go back to bed?  If Jervis had any more questions he can ask you in the morning."

 Afiona stood and hurried from the room.

As soon as the door closed Tashir resumed his seat.  "I don't know which surprises me more, that she can speak or that there is another Mavelan out there."

"One Mavelan out to kill you and the other trying to save you."  Medren pointed out.

"When are you going back to Forst Keep?"

"In two weeks.  After the festival I am going on to Haven.  I assume you want me to take Afiona with me."

"If she is willing."

"After that reaction I would say she is willing."  Medren pointed out.  "Did you notice she is scared to death of her brother?"

"We won't let him near her, not to worry."  Tashir assured Medren.  

Medren stared at the fire for several minutes.  "I wonder what will become of her."

"Are you in love with her?"  Tashir asked shrewdly.

"In love?  Hardly."  Medren protested vehemently.  "She is a dear girl, but…"

"She is only a few years younger than you."  Tashir pointed out.  

Medren shook his head again.  "She may be an adult in body, but in her mind?  What if she is still trapped mentally at whatever age it was she stopped talking?"


	5. Chapter 5

- Chapter 5 -

Afiona greeted the dawn from her window seat over looking the garden.  The overcast sky warned of snow to come, the dismal morn seemed right considering she spent much of her night battling old terrors.  Demon was sprawled on her bed, snoring softly with his feet twitching occasionally.  

A knock on her door made her jump and press her back against the wall.  Demon jolted awake and gave one startled bark.  

_:I'm big!:  The dog warned._

"Afiona?  Are you in there?"  Medren's voice called through the heavy wood.  "Jervis has a few questions for you."

Afiona padded barefoot across the floor and opened the door.

"You look exhausted, have you slept yet?"  Medren asked, taking in the dark shadows under her eyes.

Afiona shook her head and led the way back to the window seat.

"Not talking again?"  Medren asked

Afiona rested her head against the glass and sighed.  "I am thinking."

"Are you up to talking to my step-father?"

Afiona shook her head.

"He scares you?"

Afiona nodded again and stared out the window.

"Why are you scared of your brother?"  Medren asked softly.

"He tried to kill me because he got into trouble for beating me."  Afiona's voice was so quiet Medren had to strain to hear her.  "The Healer said his beating had caused me to lose my wits and Father said that because I had the potential to become a Healer and he had no potential I was worth more."

"But not worth enough."  Medren guessed.

Afiona nodded.  "I am a bastard; I had no rank, no magic, so no worth."

"I am sorry you had to live through that.  I was born on the wrong side of the blanket but I was never treated like I was worthless."

Afiona stared at him startled.  "You are a bastard too?"

"I dislike that term, but yes."

She stared at him in silence for several minutes.  "You are lucky."

"I like to think so.  I won't say I had a perfect childhood but I had a mother who doted on me, an uncle who watched out for me, a close friend to drag me into scrapes.  It was idyllic compared to what you lived through.  You haven't even had a parent."

Afiona stared back out the window.

"Tashir is sending you to Haven when I leave in a couple of weeks.  After a week or two in Forst Reach we are going on to Haven.  We are hoping the Healers will be able to teach you.  If they can't or if you decide you want to leave, you will be welcome back here."

"Thank you."

"Jervis is waiting for us.  Will you please come tell him everything you know?"

Afiona looked over at Demon who had resumed sleeping.  "Couldn't you talk to him?"

"No.  You are the only one who knows what you saw.  Come on, I'll be right there beside you."  Medren offered her his hand.

She gingerly placed her hand in his and let him lead her out of the room.  Demon awakened and hurried after them with a reproachful bark.

"Don't worry about Jervis, he is a good man, if rather gruff."  Medren assured her with only a thought to his past fears of the man.  

Afiona didn't respond, just staring straight ahead as they passed a few servants.

Her heart was pounding and she tightened her grip on Medren's hand and felt just a little more control over the situation.

"You look ready to run."  Medren commented.

Afiona freed her hand and crossed her arms across her chest defensively.

"I get the hint."  Medren led her back to the library.  Tashir and Jervis were both waiting impatiently.  No one else was present to keep from scaring Afiona even more.  They were arranged so she could have the seat closest to the door, hoping to make her more comfortable.

Afiona paused at the door and then slowly stepped closer to the seated pair.  

"You can talk?"  Jervis asked bluntly.

Afiona nodded.

Unconsciously she took another step backwards towards the door and ran into Medren.

"Don't worry, he doesn't bite."  Medren said lightly.  "Unlike your pet."

Afiona glanced down at Demon who looked even more uncomfortable than her.  _:Scared?:_

_:Not scared.:  Demon assured her and wagged his tale briefly.  __:Smell funny.:_

_:Funny?:  _

_:Like small and furry but bad smell.:_

Afiona glanced around the room.  Demon's voice had carried images of cats and she knew of only one that was sprayed with perfume.  _:Cat.:_

"Afiona, is something wrong?"  Medren asked as her attention obviously wandered.

_:Get small furry?:_

_:If you want.:  Afiona turned slightly to look up at Medren.  "Giry's cat."_

"What-"  Medren was cut off as Demon launched himself with an echoing bark that was answered by a feline yowl.

The cat shot out from under the couch and took off for the shelf.  Demon knocked over one chair as he pursued, his tail up and his eyes bright.

_:Don't catch cat.:  Afiona reminded him._

"Someone grab that dog."  Jervis ordered as he ran in pursuit.

"You better call off your protector."  Tashir pointed out calmly as the cat clambered up the shelves, every hair on its perfectly groomed body on end.

_:I am big!:  The cat insisted with a hiss._

_:Not big.  Little furry.:  Demon barked back._

_:Let the cat be.:  Afiona ordered and Demon reluctantly backed away and returned to her side._

_:Dumb cat.  Not go to door.  Very dumb cat.:  Demon muttered to himself.  __:Tasty cat?:_

_:Funny smell means funny taste.:  Afiona warned._

Demon wrinkled his lip and growled at the still frightened cat.

Tashir eyed her thoughtfully.  "You are an animal mindspeaker."

Afiona's eyes widened as she turned her attention on him.  

"She's a what?"

"She can talk to animals.  Which explains why the animals are protective of her."  Tashir explained.  "It is a good thing you are going to Haven.  I wouldn't have a clue where to start teaching you."

"Why don't you have a seat and tell us what you saw?"  Medren gestured to a chair.

Afiona gingerly sat on the edge of the chair.  "I was seeing through my brother's eyes.  I could see the scar on his hand from where I bit him.  He said he was going to get me to open the gate."

"Did he say how?"  Jervis asked.

She shook her head.  

"How could he get her to the gate to open it?"  Medren asked.  "She is terrified of him."

"What if he has someone working on the inside?"  Jervis suggested.  "Someone who could get her out there within his grasp, or someone who could make it look like she opened the gate."

Tashir studied her pale drawn face.  "As much as I hate to admit it because she is a Mavelan she will be suspected."

"If she is with someone who is trusted all night then no one can suspect her of being involved."  Medren pointed out.  "They couldn't even say she was an unknowing participant."

"Are you volunteering?"  Tashir asked.  "I doubt she would want to be stuck with anyone else all night."

"It will ruin her reputation."  Jervis pointed out.  "She may be considered a half-wit but she is still a lady."

"We can stay in the great hall until the trap is sprung."  Medren shrugged.  "If that is alright with you, Afiona." 

Afiona nodded.  She didn't think she would sleep anyway, not with her brother so close.

"Anything else we should know?"  Tashir prodded.

"There were three other men."  Afiona offered.  "I didn't recognize them."

"Can you describe them?"

"They wore hoods but one had a red and white beard and another a scar on his chin as long as my finger."

"I think I know who one of the conspirators is."  Tashir said contemplatively.  "I recognize the description of the scar.  Was it from the corner of his mouth across his chin and under his jaw?"  Afiona nodded.  "His name is Hathyr, he believes I am condemning us all to the darkest hells by allying with magic workers."

"Even though there are no mages left?"  Medren asked.

"He doesn't distinguish between mind magic and true magic.  If it isn't explainable by his narrow frame of reference it is magic.  I hadn't thought he would take it so far as to try and kill me."

Afiona glanced at the door and wondered if she could leave.

"Child, did they mention a time?"  Jervis caught her attention again.

Afiona turned her startled gaze back on him.  "At night."

"Presumably before they expect her to be in bed and after everyone else has settled down."  Tashir rubbed his forehead.  "Unless they are just going to frame her, then it could be anytime during the night."

Medren patted Afiona's hand to reassure her.  It didn't help.  Afiona jumped at the sudden contact.

"Jumpy little thing."  Jervis commented.  A thread of disgust worked its way into his voice.

"She has every right to be jumpy.  Look at her childhood!  She is accustomed to watching for the next blow, it will take years for her to grow to trust others."  Tashir jumped to her defence, surprising her.  

Medren wondered if Tashir saw echoes of his own past in Afiona.

Afiona stood and practically ran out the door, Demon on her heels.

"I'll go after her."  Medren offered as he quickly followed.

"Now what?"

"I think I scared her when I raised my voice.  Medren said my resemblance to Vedric makes her incredibly nervous."  Tashir admitted.

Medren found her just outside the door leaning against the wall.  "Are you alright?"

"I am a coward."  Afiona said quietly.

"Nonsense.  You are the bravest lady I know.  You just need to take things at your own pace."  Medren assured her.  "What happened?"

"It…it just got to be too much.  I am sorry."

"Don't worry."  Medren waited as she slowly gathered her courage.  "Are you ready to go back in?"

Afiona nodded and let him precede her into the library.  She settled back into her chair and Demon sat, alert, at her side, his worried gaze on his friend.

_:He threatened?:  He asked._

_:No.:_

_:Good.  I'm bigger.  Bigger teeth.:_

The men were actually shocked when she chuckled softly.

"Demon has bigger teeth."  She said softly.

Medren was stunned at the transformation a simple smile performed.  She was beautiful but a smile revealed a dimple in each cheek and made her look much more approachable.  "Bigger teeth than who?"

"Tashir.  He thought I was being threatened and says he is bigger with bigger teeth."

Tashir glanced at Demon who bared his teeth as proof.  "I agree.  His teeth are certainly bigger."

"Animals are simple."  Afiona said, relaxing now that they were speaking on a subject she was familiar with.  "Horses think in 'we' terms.  Dogs think about 'us' as in predators, and 'them' as is prey."

"Why does Demon attack every handler?"  Tashir asked, familiar with Demon's past.

"He doesn't trust humans.  He thinks you are like his first master and will hurt him if given a chance."  Afiona's voice gained in volume as she gained in confidence.

"Can you tell him we don't hurt animals here?"

"He hasn't bit you yet."  Afiona pointed out.  "He wants to be free too."

"Too?"  Medren repeated curiously. 

Afiona started to withdraw again.  "I don't want to go back to a prison."

"When were you in a prison?"  Jervis asked, his harsh voice making her withdraw more. 

"In the Lineas Palace."  Tashir answered for her, his own voice barely audible and his eyes distant.

"Your worst nightmare."  Medren said softly.

She glanced between the two friends.

"I was once threatened with being sent to my uncle."  Tashir explained.  "It scared me to death."

Afiona stared at him for several seconds.  "You are lucky.  He would have killed you as easy as breathing."

"I know, he tried and he succeeded with my kin.  Why didn't he kill you if you had no magic?"

"My mother's family would have been upset if I vanished and I might have become a healer."

"What about your mother?"

"Dead."  Afiona turned her attention to Medren.  "For today, we stay together?"

"If you don't mind, then you would have an iron tight alibi."

Afiona nodded.  "Let them wait for Gelird." 


	6. Chapter 6

- Chapter 6 -

Afiona watched the women as they worked at their various tasks, most involving sewing.  Her back was against the wall, Medren was just a few inches from her tuning his lute, and Demon under their bench with his head between their knees but she was still ready to bolt.

Most of the women ignored her thankfully; she couldn't have borne being the center of attention, especially after her scare last night.

However, Giry didn't ignore her.  Her perfectly painted lip curled in a small sneer when she glanced at Afiona.  Each sneer drew a growl from Demon.

Afiona gave up ignoring her and was returning Giry's stare.

The best word to describe Giry's appearance was perfect.  Giry's long golden hair was tamed into perfect spiralling ringlets.  Her pale skin bore no scars, unlike Afiona's, which was criss-crossed with old scars from fists, whips, falls, and burns.  Her massive blue eyes were alternately guileless and calculating, depending on whom she was looking at, and what she was hiding.  She was slender and petite, like Afiona, with delicate bones and a birdlike quality to her movements.

Afiona shifted slightly closer to Medren and Giry's eyes narrowed again.

Afiona had become something of an expert in the dark emotions of humans.  

There was no doubt Giry was jealous.  Afiona glanced up at Medren.  Was his attention the reason behind Giry's renewed hatred?

"Giry wants you."  She whispered.

Medren glanced down at her.  "Pardon?"

"Giry wants you.  She is jealous of me being here." 

Medren glance towards the lady in question she immediately started batting her eyes and acting helpless.  "Oh well."

Afiona scratched Demon's head.

_:Threat.:  Demon said succinctly._

_:I know.:_

_:Bite her?:_

_:No.  Back in the cage if you do.:_

Demon snarled at the thought of being locked in his kennel again.

Medren's beautiful voice filled the room as he started to sing a popular ballad, claiming Afiona's full attention.  Only Giry's continued glares detracted from the performance.

Afiona desperately wanted out of the room and away from the women.  She wanted to be outside in the garden enjoying the changing season, preparing her garden for winter, but she wouldn't be here for next year's growing season.

Medren set aside his lute after several songs to rest a bit.  Afiona grabbed his hand in both her small hands earning several knowing smiles from the more observant women.

"How you holding up?  Do you want out of here?"  Medren asked softly.

Afiona shook her head slightly.

Giry's eyes narrowed in suspicion at the gesture.  As far as the rest of the world knew, Afiona was still deaf and mute.

Medren turned his attention to a question asked of him by a lady.  Afiona took strength from knowing that even if they all turned on her, Medren and Demon would defend her. It was an odd experience for her.

She hadn't trusted another human since she stopped speaking.  Worthless people had no defenders.

Eventually Medren had to reclaim his hand and continue his playing.  At the loss of his hand Afiona felt a sharp stab of loss but folded her hands in her lap, and longed for the endless chattering of the women to end.

_:Run?  Hunt?  Chase bad smelling fluffy cat?:  Demon asked hopefully._

_:Later.:  She promised._

Demon's ears fell at the rejection.  _:Not eat stupid fluffy.: _

_:I know.:  She scratched his ears affectionately.  __:We'll run later.:_

Demon heaved a sigh and settled his head on his paws.

Afiona glanced at the window.  At least dinner was soon.  How these ladies could stand the idleness was beyond her.

~ * ~

Afiona slumped back against her high backed chair, fast asleep.

Considering it was well after midnight and her and Medren were the only occupants of the Great Hall it was understandable.  Medren hoped the guards would come soon to tell them that her brother had been caught and they could head off to bed.

Suddenly she stiffened, she didn't even breathe.

"Afiona?"  Medren shook her shoulder but received no response.

He was about to yell for a servant when she went limp and started to shake.

"Are you alright?"

Afiona wrapped her arms around her chest and looked around the massive empty room.  "He's here, I Saw him."

"Where?"

"Here."  Afiona huddled further into her chair.  "He sent the others to find Tashir and he is coming here for me."

Medren wished he had thought to arm himself as he searched the heavy shadows for Gelird.  "Where is he now?"

Afiona's eyes fixed on a shadowed hall.  Demon moved from his spot under her chair and sniffed the air.

_:Funny smelling cat.:_

Afiona stood so quickly her chair tumbled backwards.  Her entire body shaking as she searched for an escape route.

Medren quickly pulled the sword he had worn as a precaution.  "Come out!"

A shadow shifted but no one stepped into the light.

Afiona's frantic eyes locked on to the movement.  _:There he is!:_

Demon growled and launched himself towards the movement, his formidable teeth bared.

Whoever was in the shadows turned and fled from the threat of the great dog.

_:Funny smelling cat.:  Demon commented again as he pursued.  A feminine scream of terror underscored his observation._

"Giry, that is Giry.  Demon, wait!"  Afiona ran after her friend, hiking up her skirt.

Medren watched her, stunned, for several seconds before he chased after her.  She sprinted through the darkness with ease, following the rumbling growl of her pet.

"Afiona, wait."

Suddenly a dark shadow stepped in front of Afiona and grabbed the slender young woman by her throat.

"Get it off me!"  Giry called from down the hall as Demon caught her skirt, pulling her to the ground.

"Shut up."  The shadow roared.  Then the voice softened to a silken threat.  "Hey, little sister."

Afiona trembled as she tried to make out the face of her captor.  Her voice frozen in her throat by fear.

"Let her go."  Medren demanded as he stopped several feet from the pair.  "Demon!  Get off Giry and help Afiona!"

Demon paused and looked over his shoulder at the mistrusted human.  He recognized his friend's name as well as his own in the command.  

Giry used the distraction to escape.

Demon glanced between the two men.  One held a sword, which he knew was used to hurt.  The other was holding Afiona.  Which was more of a threat?

Afiona didn't even struggle as her brother spun her around so her back was against his chest and he held a sharp blade to her throat.  "Put down your weapon!"

Medren hesitated but dropped his sword.

"Wise man-- now--call off that dog."

"Only Afiona can.  He's hers."  Medren said as calmly as possible, praying the dog wouldn't attack now with his mistress in danger.  

"He attacks and she is dead before she hits the ground."  Gelird warned as he started to back away.  Panic colouring his voice.  Afiona could smell his sweat, like a cling stench.

"Demon, come here boy."  Medren tried using his Gift to soothe the dog, praying it would come to him.

Demon growled again.  Obviously it was the man with the sweet voice who was trying to talk to him.  Afiona trusted this man not to harm her and to actually protect her.  That meant the other man was the threat.  Afiona's fear was overwhelming.  A strange feeling of lethargy crept over him and he felt the urge to go to the sweet-voiced man's side.

Medren breathed a sigh of relief as Demon relaxed his stance and took a few steps towards him, leaving enough of the hallway clear for Gelird to drag his sister further away from her protectors.  Medren grabbed Demon's collar as soon as he was close and stroked the ebony head, trying to keep him calm.  "Good boy.  I promise you a massive steak when this is through if you just don't bite off my hand."

Demon looked up at him and bared his teeth once before returning his attention to the retreating figures.  Try as he might, he could reach Afiona, her panic had completely blocked her mind.

Medren waited until they were out of sight before picking up and sheathing his sword.  "Don't worry boy, I won't let him harm her.  You can even have Giry's cat when this is all over, just listen to me."

Demon understood very little of what he was told but he understood the worry in the man's voice.  Man may be his enemy, but this man was a friend of Afiona.  He decided, for now at least, he would allow this man to help him.

Besides, he knew what a steak was.

~ * ~

Afiona's heart was pounding as Gelird reached the entry hall.  Not even the clang of the armoured guards reached her.  Across from them were six guards, Tashir, and Jervis.

"Release her!"  Tashir ordered.

Afiona's panicked mind grasped only his anger and his resemblance to her father.  She quivered so badly her brother's knife caused a thin line of red across her neck.

Gelird crouched behind Afiona, using her as a shield, moving his arm from her throat to holding the knife to her back.  Very little of him was left for the guards arrows to seek.

"Don't fire, you may hit Afiona."  Tashir ordered.

"She must have let him in."  Jervis observed.

Medren finally appeared, dragged by the massive dog.  

Demon's growl echoed through the hall.  He could smell Afiona's blood and it was enough for him to see red.

"Don't let him go!"  Tashir called to him.  

Gelird turned enough to see the enraged dog and blanched completely white.  He quickly calculated his chances for escape.  A hostage was no good against a dog.  He acted swiftly, plunging the knife into the small of her back, hoping it would at least slow the men down, and sprinted for the door.  He managed to reach the safety of the night and slam the door shut behind him before the men reacted.

Once released Demon ran to his mistress side, whining and pacing around her prone body.  Medren was the first to reach her side.

Scarlet was already creeping across her back as blood flowed from around the blade.

"Get the Healer."  Tashir yelled and knelt next his cousin.  "What happened?"

"Giry let him in and then lured Afiona to where he was hiding."  Medren said as he stared helplessly.

Demon paused to lick her face.  His massive golden brown eyes filled with concern.

"Shouldn't you remove the knife, milord?"  One of the men at arms asked.

Jervis leaned forward to examine the wound.  He had experience with similar wounds from his days as a hire sword.  "No, it would cause it to bleed out faster.  Wait for the healer, if she has any chance it is with the Healer.  Send some one to get Giry though.  I want to know exactly what her involvement in this affair is."


	7. Chapter 7

- Chapter 7 -

Afiona tried to move to look up at the men kneeling around her.  

"Don't, you'll only make it worse."  Medren placed his hand on her back to still her.

Tears poured down her cheeks.  "I am a coward."  Her voice barely reached the men kneeling next to her.

"Nonsense."  Tashir assured her gently.  "If you had fought he would have killed you."

"He escaped."  Her voice quavered. 

"Is she actually talking?"  Someone asked.  "She isn't a halfwit?"

Tashir quelled the speaker with a glare.  "Where is that Healer?"

"Here sir."  A female, clad in green, said as she hurried down the stairs.  "Go turn down her bed."  She ordered the assembled men before she reached the ground.

Everyone but Demon moved away as the Healer knelt on the scarlet stained ground.  "Easy dear.  Well, he missed everything vital, you are very lucky.  Given time, you will be alright."  

Afiona closed her eyes and remained silent despite the pain.  Carefully the Healer withdrew the knife and placed a pad of fabric on the wound and bound it tightly.  "I need one of you carefully pick her up and carry her to her room."

Tashir started to reach for her when Demon bared his teeth just inches from his face.  "Medren, I think you get the honours."

Medren and the Healer carefully manoeuvred her into his arms.  Demon growled deep in his chest but refrained from baring his teeth.

"What is your honest opinion?"  He asked as he followed the Healer.

"She'll be fine."  The Healer assured her.  "Poor little thing."

In her flowery room Medren set her carefully on the bed.  "What else do you need?"  His voice held obvious concern.

The healer removed a bag of medicines from around her waist and removed its contents.  "Bring me more bandages and find me a large, loose nightgown." 

Demon took up a post beside her bed, his massive head on the edge of the bed.

"And get the dog out of here."  She said with exasperation.

"No."  Afiona contradicted.  

The Healer looked at Medren for some support.

"She is an animal mindspeaker, she is the only one who could send him out with losing an arm."  He shrugged helplessly.

"Very well, but tell him to move farther away, I don't want this wound to get infected."  She said briskly.

Afiona obliged her and Demon reluctantly moved to the window seat at her silent command, where he could watch everything.

The healer quickly cut away the gown to expose the wound.  Afiona remained motionless, her mind running through the old memories of other times she had lain before a Healer.

"Poor little thing.  Just hold still and I'll have you patched up in no time."  The healer gestured to Medren to have a seat next to Afiona and hold her hand.  He manner softening for the first time as she saw the girl's wound was indeed not as bad as it could be.

"Don't worry, they'll catch your brother."  He held her hand and stroked her hair out of her eyes.

"Giry?"

"We'll deal with her too."

Afiona nodded slightly then winced as the Healer cleaned the wound.

Silence reigned as the Healer first cleaned and stitched the wound.  The Healer didn't dare sedate her after losing so much blood.  "You've lost a great deal of blood.  The only medicines I have for pain would just slow your body's ability to replace it."  Finally she sat back.  "I wish I could say the worst was over, it is going to be a while before you are back to normal."

Afiona nodded slightly in understanding.

Using a pair of scissors the Healer cut away her gown and helped her out of it.  Medren stared at the lattice of scars across her back.  All were old except for her wound but it was still horrifying to think a little girl had been tortured so heartlessly.

Shaking off his horror he helped her into the nightgown.  

"I want you to give her this in about a candlemark or so."  The healer gave him a small vial.  "It will help her heal faster and get some rest.  Come get me if there is any change.  Don't let her roll over and call me if she starts to bleed again."

"I will."  Medren promised. 

"I want you to stay here with her tonight, if you don't mind.  I've noticed that she trusts you.  Don't let her stand or sit up.  And keep her relaxed.  I'll bring a painkiller for her around dawn, it should be ready around then."

"Thank you."  Medren stared down at the frail looking young woman pinned under the covers of her bed.  Her face was pale and she kept her eyes closed tightly, as if holding back tears.

The Healer glanced at Afiona one last time before she left.  

Afiona relaxed visibly when the Healer vanished; she opened her eyes and looked up at Medren.  "I shouldn't have chased after Demon but I didn't want him to hurt Giry…"

"She would have deserved it.  I think she was the one who let your brother in."  Medren pulled a chair next to her bed.  "It doesn't matter.  Just rest."

"Will you still take me to Haven?"

"Of course."  He stroked a lank of hair out of her eyes.  "Even if I have to kidnap you to get you out of here."

She smiled slightly and grasped his hand again.  "Thank you."

~ * ~

Afiona leaned out the window of the carriage as far as she dared to see the sprawling keep.  It had obvious been renovated many times in recent years, one wing looked like it was still under that last stages of construction.

Medren pulled his horse next to her window.  "What do you think?"

"I think it is very big."  She answered.  "How many people live there?"

"Not including servants?  There are eighty or ninety I think."  

"So many?"  She said is awe and fear. 

"And many are relatives."  He warned.

Afiona's eyes widened in her disbelief,  "Incredible." 

Demon poked his head out the other window, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.  _:Rabbits!:_

"Demon says there is rabbits."

"I'll take him out in the forest tomorrow if he likes.  For now you should sit back before you strain your wound again."  Medren urged.

Afiona obliged with her now familiar small smile.  "Will your grandparents welcome me?"

"I have no doubt grandmother will adore you on sight but I doubt grandfather will even notice your presence."

"I'd like it that way."  She admitted and pulled the blankets tighter around her body.  She had lost a great deal of weight she couldn't afford to lose while recuperating.  At first Demon had refused to leave her side until he was certain she was fine and then he had _allowed Medren to escort him about the gardens.  Medren had finally become his second trusted human._

_:We smell more of us.:  Medren's horse commented eagerly as he scented the famous Forst Reach horses.  _

_:We run to them?:  One of the carriage horses asked._

_:No.:  Afiona said firmly.  __:We go slow.:_

She could feel the disgruntlement of the four harnessed horses.  Above she could hear the coachman snoring contentedly.  The horses had never behaved so well as they had for this trip.

"They smell the horses."  She warned as his gelding pranced happily.

"I figured as much.  Oh, I should warn you, Midwinter can be chaotic here."

"Why?"

"With so much family everything is chaotic.  Tell me if it gets to be too much."

"I will."  She promised.  "Or I will just escape to the stable."

Demon barked happily as a rabbit sprinted from the side of the road.  _:I get it!:_

_:No.  Get it later.:  Afiona leaned forward to scratch his head, ignoring the pain that radiated out of her back._

A child waved from his post beside the road before sprinting for the keep.  Before they even reached the gate people were bubbling out of the ancient building and hurrying forward to meet them.

"Brace yourself."  Medren warned as he rode forward.

"Medren, who is this?"  An elegant, silver haired woman greeted him as he swung to the ground and kissed her cheek.  

"You are looking younger every time I see you, grandmother."  Medren smiled down at her.  "This is Afiona, Tashir's cousin.  She is traveling to Haven for training as a Healer."

A young man hurried forward to open her door, allowing Demon to bounce out.  Four days of being trapped in a carriage had him ready to run after nothing but the wind given the chance, he was even willing to overlook the crowd of people.

Afiona carefully manoeuvred herself to the door and forced herself to face the crowd all staring at her.  Medren hurried to offer her his hand to help her to the ground. 

"She was injured a couple of weeks ago."  Medren explained as she leaned on his arm.

Lady Ashkevron glanced between the pair before smiling at her guest.  "Poor little dear."

Afiona's eyes widened and Demon quickly returned to her side.  

"What happened to you?"

"She was stabbed in the back."  Medren answered for her.

"You poor little thing!"

Afiona was fairly certain she was going to grow sick and tired of being called a 'poor little' anything quite quickly.

Soon she was seated in the most comfortable chair in the solar, with Demon at her feet.  The women were arranging themselves around the room with embroidery hoops and at the looms.

"You must tell us how you met Medren."  Lady Tressa took a seat next to her.

Medren sat on a bench not far from Afiona.  "She doesn't speak."

Afiona glanced at him.

"She is a Mavelan."  He warned

A twitter of concern swept through the gathered women.  

"And Tashir took her in?  He was always a sweet boy."  Lady Tressa gifted Afiona with a smile.  "Can she hear?"

Medren debated what to say.  "She can hear.  She was traumatized as a child and prefers not to speak."

Afiona suppressed a desire to run to a safe place.  

Lady Tressa patted her hand and smiled fondly at her.  "You are safe here."

"Is she going to, you know, make everything fly around?"  A woman asked in a hushed tone, obviously remembering the last Mavelan guest that they had had.

"No, she doesn't have fetching."  Medren assured them.

Afiona bent over to stroke Demon's head, more for comfort to herself than anything else.  A gasp escaped through her clenched teeth as she pulled the wound.

"I am a healer."  She said softly.

Medren's eyebrows nearly joined his hairline.

"A healer?  How wonderful."  Tressa gushed.

Afiona sat upright and smiled at Medren.

After all, If she was gong to become a healer she couldn't feign silence. 


	8. Chapter 8

- Chapter 8 -

Afiona stretched slowly as she straightened from her patient.  The wound was nearly healed now and the trembling deer would be able to re-enter the wild very soon. 

 "See, almost done."  She said softly as she stroked the soft fur of the animal.  _:Free soon.:_

_:Free?:  The deer repeated hopefully._

_:No walls.:  Afiona stood shook the straw off her green robes._

The doe's ears flipped wildly as she remembered her forest.

"Healer Afiona?"  A trainee said from the corner where she had been watching the Healing.  Awe and confusion apparent in her voice.

"I am also an animal mindspeaker."  Afiona explained her ease in dealing with the injured animal with now drugs to keep it still.  "That is why I specialize in the healing of animals."

The girl nodded, filing that information away for later.

Afiona led the trainee out of the room and closed the door.  "She will be released tomorrow."

The girl nodded.

Afiona paused and smiled down at the girl.  "I know what they say about me, that I am wasting my talents by working with animals.  But that doesn't make my knowledge any less valid."

"I never thought that."  The girl protested.

"Good.  So you are ready to tend the next one yourself?"

The girl's eyes widened.

Afiona led her to a room filled with small cages holding injured pets.  A cat had been brought in that had a gash on its face.  The injury had already been cleaned and the animal sedated, an ideal project for the budding healer.

Afiona picked up the small animal and carried it to the examination table.  The dogs and cats in the room remained silent as she went about her work.  When her shift was over she often came in here to soothe them, assuring them she would return them to their families as quickly as possible.  

"Don't worry, he isn't going to move while you work so you can take your time."  Afiona moved to allow the girl to take her place.  "Never rush when it may compromise your healing."

The girl took a deep breath and stroked the cat's side as she had seen Afiona do over the past several weeks.  "Easy little one."

Afiona remained silent.  Ready to step in and guide her if she faltered.  One thing the other Healers couldn't say was that she wasn't a good teacher for the new students.  For the last year she had taken the new students for the first few weeks and then passed them off to other teachers.  She also took the second year students and taught them the more advanced healings on her patients.

Still, despite her good work, her peers often accused her of wasting her powerful gift on animals rather than tending to humans.  When she had arrived in Haven five years ago she had spent a great deal of time with a mindhealer and had lost her fear of her fellow humans but she still couldn't bear opening herself up to strangers in such an intimate fashion.

The girl caught her attention as she carefully wove the energy of the cat's body to speed the healing of the muscle and skin.  It would have taken Afiona mere moments to complete, but the girl needed nearly a candlemark.

"Well done."  Afiona patted her shoulder.  "Why don't you put him back into the cage?  And you best come back and check on him later.  He is now your responsibility."

The girl nodded, awed by her accomplishment.  She turned from the cat to wrap her arms around Afiona.  "Thank you."

Afiona smiled and patted her head.  "He is going to wake up soon."

The girl quickly turned back to her patient and carried him to his cage.  She filled out the small card next to the cage with what she had done.

"Go eat and get some rest.  You did very well today."  Afiona urged firmly.  She knew the girl would need to replenish her energy reserve from the unaccustomed working.

The girl hurried from the room leaving Afiona alone with the animals.  Over a dozen brown eyes were fixed on her.  

_:I'll bring treat later.  Rest now.:  She stroked each head in turn._

A large brindle mastiff in the largest cage eyed her warily.  He was a new addition to the ward.  His foreleg was tightly bandaged and a gash on his side had been stitched already.

"Hey sweetie."  She held her hand to the cage.  _:What happened?  Was it a carriage?:_

_:Man.:  The dog answered warily._

Afiona sighed and withdrew her hand.  Since she had come here she had met more animals with pasts as sad as Demon's.  _:Your man?:_

_:My man.:  The mastiff eyed her and gingerly tested her scent._

_:I will protect you from him.:  She promised.  __:You won't go back to him.:_

The mastiff actually wagged his tale a couple times.

"See you all later."  She stood.  

Her room was in this ward so she could be close to her patients.  It was sparsely decorated with only a comfortable chair and a potted plant as personal touches.  The chair had been a gift from Medren and the flowers from the owner of one of her patients.  The leaves made an excellent pain killer so it served a dual purpose.

Demon was sprawled in a patch of sunshine, his black coat dimmed by age and sprinkled with white hair.  He was eleven years old now and quite content to sleep in the sun for most of the day.

"How's my boy?"  She bent to scratch his ears.  "Did that squirrel come back?"

_:I barked, it ran.:  Demon informed her._

"Good for you."  She stood and shed her stained robe.  When she wasn't teaching she often wore a short tunic of the same green rather than the full robes but she found she received more respect when she wore the full robes.

Thankfully there wouldn't be a new trainee for a few more weeks.  Unless a child was rushed in.

Underneath her robe she wore faded breeches and a snug fitting shirt that wouldn't catch on anything.  She also had a leash bound around her waist for when she needed it and a pouch of handy medicines suspended from a belt.

A healer was never off duty.

On her bed she found a small packet of letters.  The top was obvious her cousin's writing.  She used one of her handy knives to break the seal and quickly read the letter.  Everything was fine, as normal.  There was also the standard invitation for her to come for a visit.

She quickly finished the letter.  She had no doubt the rest would include one from Medren and another from Lady Tressa.  Especially since the smell of Tressa's perfume wafted up from the package.  She slipped the pink paper out from the bottom and chuckled again at the purple ink.

Tressa's letter included the surprising news that she and her husband were returning to Haven at King Treven's request.  She was ecstatic to be returning to Haven and asked Afiona to check on her late son's life bonded, Stefen.

"That just leaves Medren."  Afiona commented to the disinterested Demon.

She smiled as she picked up the last letter.  In five years he was still her closest friend and occasional lover but both knew it would never go beyond that.

It was barely a page long.  Another request to check on Stefen, obviously he had done something to worry Tressa and Medren.  Also a note that he was coming to Haven for the season.

"Good news.  Medren is coming."  She smiled as Demon's tale thumped on the ground.  "You want to come with me and check on Stefen?"

_:Stay, sleep.:_

"You'll need to go for a walk later."  She warned.  "You are getting entirely too lazy."

Demon sighed, closed his eyes.  _:Later.:_

"That is your favourite excuse, isn't it?"  Afiona laughed and scratched his ear before she left her room.

She used a side door to leave the Healer's and strode across the courtyard to Bardic.  She had met Stefen on two previous occasions but they had spoken barely five words.

She waved down the first Bard she saw.  "Excuse me, could you direct me to Bard Stefen's room?"

The bard looked her over with an appreciative eye.  "Sorry lass, he isn't into ladies, you understand."

Afiona actually laughed.  Her work clothes hugged her body tightly, revealing every curve; she had forgotten to change before leaving her room.  "I am well aware of that, I was asked to look in on him. I am Healer Afiona."

The bard, maybe four or five years her senior, gave her what she assumed was supposed to be a charming smile.  "After you check on him, would you like to check on me?"

"Perhaps another time."  She smiled.

"I'll hold you to that.  His room is up the stairs and is the fourth on the left."

"Thank you."  She hurried up the stairs and found the correct door.  With a sharp knock she stepped back to wait.

"Who's there?"  A voice called out.

"Healer Afiona."  She called back.

"Come in."  He sighed in defeat.

She opened the door and found him bent over his desk with a quill in his hand.  "I hope I didn't disturb your writing."

"It wasn't going anywhere, anyway."  Stefen sat back and rubbed his forehead.  "What's wrong?"

"You did something to worry Medren and Tressa."  She shrugged.  "They asked me to check on you."

"Shoot, I forgot to write back."  He ran a hand through his tousled red curls.

"That's it?"  Afiona laughed.

"I, well…" He stood and ran a hand through his hair.  "I have been trying to write this song for months."

"And neglected to write two letters?"  She noticed the stack of letters on the desk, all unopened.  "Or read them from the looks of it.  I take you don't know Medren, Lady Tressa, and Lord Withen are all coming to Haven?"

"They are that concerned?"  His eyebrows flew up with surprise.

"No.  Lord Withen was invited to resume his place on the council by the King and Medren has decided to spend summer here.  They should be here in two or three weeks, if the are traveling together, Medren will be here sooner if they aren't."

"Thanks for the warning."  Stefen glanced down at his work in progress.

"Why not let it be for the time being?"  She suggested on impulse.  "You are obviously stressed, developing a cold, and rather depressed."

"Are you a mindhealer or something?"  Stefen asked defensively.

"Yes, I am."  She smiled slightly.  "I rarely use it though."

"That sounds rather unHealerlike.  Why not?"  Bardic curiosity drove him to ask. 

Afiona shrugged.  "I prefer not to work with humans.  I don't trust them.  I am the foremost animal Healer in Valdemar and I am content with that.  Why don't you join me for dinner?  You look like you could use some company."

"May as well, then you could tell Medren there is nothing for him to worry about."  Stefen shrugged.

"Wonderful, I can have a tray delivered to my room.  Ask anyone and they should be able to direct you, I am miserable with directions." 


	9. Chapter 9

- Chapter 9 - 

Afiona rested her head on her hand as she listened to the song.  His voice was incredible and the song obviously very dear to his heart.

_"And still the forest of the North guards Valdemar from harm—_

_For Vanyel's dying curse is stronger far than mortal arm."  Stefen's voice filled the small room until he finished the last note.  "That is as far as I get.  I think it feels unfinished, like there should be more, two lines at least."_

She drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair.  "I think you need something more in the beginning, instead of just jumping straight to the story, maybe something about other Heralds being Chosen and warned about magic's price with Vanyel as an example.  Then you can probably get a closing from that."

Stefen stared at her for several moments.  "Do you have any paper?" 

She could practically see the possibilities her words had created take life in his eyes.  

"Of course."  She rose and padded barefoot across the stone floor to her desk and withdrew a stack of paper, a pot of ink, and a quill.  

He accepted the items and leaned forward to scratch out several lines.  "If I use lore instead…" He scratched out what he wrote and scribbled some more lines.  His unintelligible muttering was almost soothing. 

Afiona sat back in her chair and waited.  Medren was best at simple ballads and she had watched him write several over the span of their friendship but he never had the intensity that Stefen was exhibiting now.  "You must miss him dreadfully."

"Pardon."  Stef paused in his writing to look up at her blankly.

"Herald Vanyel.  You are obviously determined to make this perfect for him."  She observed.  

Stef's eyes became haunted and distant.  "Of course I miss him.  He was - is my lifebonded."  The searing pain of the separation very evident in his voice as he spoke the simple words. 

"I know."  She said softly.  "I have been around Heralds who had lost their Companions and they experienced much the same thing you are experiencing."

"And usually they commit suicide."  Stef said bitterly.

"You didn't."  She pointed out softly.  "Why?" 

"It wasn't for lack of trying."  Stefen looked away trying to avoid her too knowing eyes. 

Even with her shields up Afiona could Feel the pain he was trying to suppress 

Afiona tucked her feet under herself, trying to make herself seem smaller and less threatening.  "Obviously something is holding you here then."

"A promise."  Stefen was surprised he was admitting such private confessions to a stranger.  She felt safe and familiar despite being a stranger, that was the only explanation it. 

Afiona slid from her seat and sat on the low table in front of him.  "Who made you make such a promise?"

"Vanyel." He said the name simply. Seeing the look of confusion in her eyes, Stef explained further. "I went north after Randale died.  I wasn't needed here anymore and the pain was so bad."  He didn't resist as she gathered his hands in hers.  "I was about to drink this poison when some rocks dislodged from the roof of the cave and knocked it out of my hands.  Then _he appeared."_

Afiona waited patiently for him to continue, she refused to use her Gifts to force the words out, even if he needed to say them.  

"He needs me to convince Valdemar that Heralds are not some sort of second rate Herald Mages."

"That sounds like a life long task."

"It is."  Stefen admitted.

"And then you can join him?"

"Yes."  The wealth of feeling infused into that one word was incredible, longing, relief, desperation, it seemed to sum up his entire being.

 She could hear the tears in his voice and she touched his shoulder.  "It must feel like you are looking down an endless road, but you aren't.  Why don't you go traveling this summer?  If he is still in the north waiting for you, you could sit under a tree and talk to him, even if he won't answer.  And remember, no matter how bad it feels, you aren't alone here."  She forced him to meet her eyes.

"Thank you."  Stef suddenly pulled her close for a hug.

Gingerly she returned the embrace.  "Are you feeling better?"

"Are you sure you didn't use your mindhealing gift?"

"I am sure, I don't feel comfortable poking around in other people's minds." She admitted with a slight shrug.  

A frantic pounding interrupted them.  "Healer Afiona?  Are you there?"  A young, frenzied voice called.

"Come in, I am here."  She stood and was half way to the door when it swung open revealing a young man, maybe sixteen years old. 

"I had foal watch and I didn't think anything was wrong at first but now she's down and she needs help."  The boy rambled off.

Afiona didn't recognize him as any of her students and there were no mares due to foal in the Healer's right now.  "What mare?  Where is she?"

"You have to come with me."

"Do you mean a Companion mare?"  Stef asked.

The boy nodded.

"Oh dear, go back to her, I'll be right there, I just need to gather a few things first."  Afiona immediately became all business, the understanding listener of a few moments ago gone.

The boy nodded and ran back down the hall without another word.

"You are responsible for the Companions as well?"  Stef asked, watching in awe as she efficiently gathered what she needed.

"Yes."  Afiona said as she ran out the door to the medicine room and gathered the medicine's she may need, several blankets, and a med kit for Companions that was always kept in here.  

Stef relieved her of most the bulk of the burden when she returned to her room.  "Lead on Healer."

"Thank you."  She tossed over her shoulder as she hurried out into the gathering night.

"What could be wrong?"  Stef asked, labouring under the load and stumbling on unseen obstacles.

"Companion mares have just as much difficulty as humans when is comes to birth."  She explained without slowing down.  She knew the way to the Stables by heart and the pain of the Companion mare became more obvious, and more beckoning with each step she took.  The mare was frantic and in incredible pain.

When she entered the stable she found several white clad Heralds in the hall just outside the stall.

"Move it!"  She ordered and they parted for her.  "Everyone but her Chosen, out!" 

"She hasn't Chosen."  Someone said as she passed.

She ignored them, focused on her patient.  The boy who had fetched her was kneeling at the mare's head.  "Easy lad, this isn't any of your doing."

"Are you sure?"  He asked, desperate for her assurances.

"I am sure."  She gave him a reassuring smile.

Before she even fell to her knees next to the mare she knew it was too late for the beautiful creature.  She could See the ruptured artery that was leaking her life's blood into her womb.  "You better leave, I'll take care of this." She said with as much confidence as she could muster even as she wanted to cry for the dying creature.

The boy nodded and vanished.

"She is my Companion's daughter."  A man said from the door.  "What is you honest opinion?"

Afiona ignored him, rolled up her sleeves, and poured a sterilizing liquid over her hands and arms.  While talking to the mare softly to the mare, she reached within her.  She could feel the foal's feet, as she had expected, only they were the hind feet.  "Breech."  She said loud enough to be heard by the man in the doorway.  "And she is bleeding internally."

"Damn."  The Herald at the door cursed.  

Afiona met the gaze of the mare.  

_:Save my baby.:  The simple words were emblazoned in her mind with the mare's calm acceptance of her fate and her desperation for her child to survive._

She jumped at the unexpected speech.  _:I will.:_

The mare's head fell again as another contraction ripped through her.

"Pass me the kit."  Afiona said softly.  "And, please, sing for her."

Stefen stared at her stunned.  

"Please, just sing something calming."  She snapped, wishing instantly she could retract her tone.

"I will do my best."  Stefen assured her as he took a place at the mare's head, cradling it in his lap.  

As he started to sing the mare relaxed and her eyes drifted close.  Afiona was amazed at the waves of pain suddenly stopping before she remembered hearing about his odd Gift.

"Thank you."  She said, and turned back to her work.

~ * ~

Afiona swiped one bloody arm across her forehead as she looked down at the small foal, now wrapped in blankets.  It was barely breathing and it hadn't opened its eyes.

"Now what?"  Stefen stared down at the small creature, his voice hoarse from prolonged use.  Beside them was the lifeless body of the mare.

"Now we have to make sure the baby survives."  She started rubbing the foal with the blanket to dry him off.  "See what the Heralds can produce for milk for the little one."

Stefen nodded and vanished, leaving her with the foal.

_:Time to wake up little one.:  She urged, putting as much compulsion into the sending as she dared.  It was obviously born before its time._

Slowly it opened a massive pair of blue eyes and stared up at her.

"Poor little thing."  She continued to rub him until he was dry.  His baby fuzz gleamed silver in the light of the lantern.  _:Time to stand.  Show me how big you are and stand up.:_

"Thank you Healer."  The Herald from before appeared in the doorway again.

"Don't thank me yet."  She said as she continued to hoist the drowsy colt to his feet.  "He is not out of the woods yet."

"There is a mare willing to nurse him."  Stef said as he peered around the doorway.  "How is he holding up?"

"Let's move him to a new stall first.  Help me pick him up."  She positioned herself at his front end and the Herald took his rear, together they moved him to a new stall that had already been prepared.  The surrogate Companion mare appeared almost immediately.

It took him a few tries but he mastered the art of nursing in moments.

She sighed and leaned back against the wall of the stall, every muscle in her body quivering with fatigue.  "I couldn't save his mother.  She had already lost too much blood."

"If the boy had been paying attention-" The Herald started to accuse.

"No."  She sat forward.  "The artery was torn so badly not even a dozen Healers could have saved her.  The contractions tore it even more."

"How do you do it?"  Stef asked.  "I mean, you took one look at the mare, knew she was going to die, and accepted it." She could sense he was torn as to how he should feel towards her now that the crisis had passed.

"If there was even the slightest chance I could have saved her I would have done everything in my power to save her."  Afiona looked up at the two men.  "I would have given anything to help her, but she knew she was too far gone.  She asked me to save her baby."  Her voice sounded haunted, even to her own ears.

Tears poured out of her eyes and she quickly turned to face the colt.  

Stef shook out one of the spare blankets and wrapped it around her.  "Are you staying down here tonight?"

She nodded.  "I don't want to leave him alone yet, he is still too prone to infection."

"I'll get you some fresh clothing."  Stef offered and vanished once more.

"He's so tiny."  The Herald commented.

"He'll get bigger."  She rubbed her forehead, smearing more blood on her face.

"Why don't I watch him while you wash up?"

"No."  Her exhaustion was wearing on her nerves.  "Sorry, I don't mean to snap, but I can't leave him." 

"I'll get you some warm water then."  The Herald said in understanding.

Alone with the Companion mare and foal she buried her face in her knees.  "Gods, what am I going to do?"

The mare gently nudged her arm.

Looking up into the understanding blue eyes she felt some measure of peace.  The colt, sated, staggered over to Afiona and collapsed next to her.

"You better get back to your own foal."  Afiona said as she stroked the colt's soft fur.

The mare seemed to smile at her before leaving her alone.  She could sense the baby-thoughts from the small form next to her; somehow it thought _she was its mother._

"I wonder if anyone could tell me your name.  Little one won't suit you forever.  Unless I miss my guess you are going to be quite large my lad."

The colt stared up at her, not understanding her words but liking her voice.

The Herald was the first to return with a large bowl, some towels, and a bladder of warm water.

"I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself.  I am Herald Lance."

The corner of her mouth twitched.  

"I was named after Herald Lancir, Queen Elspeth's Queen's Own.  Both my parent's are Heralds so…"  He smiled self effacingly and shrugged.

"Don't worry, I understand."  She assured him.

"How's he doing?"  Lance trailed a finger down the colt's side.

"He is tired and full."  Carefully she extricated herself from the sleeping foal and moved over to the water.  "I think he is going to be alright."

"Good."  The Herald poured the water into the basin.  "I ordered a pallet and some blankets brought down for you."

"Thank you."  Afiona slipped off her blood stained shirt, unmindful of her audience as used a small towel to start scrubbing herself clean.

"My gods, what happened to you?"

"What?"  She paused and looked down at herself before flushing bright red.  "They're old."

The scars covered her almost completely; only her head and hands were free of the marks.

"It looks like you were tortured."

"I was."  She snapped.  "By my own family."

"I'm sorry for prying, it's just a shock."  Lance sat back, his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

She vigorously scrubbed her arms and face then wrapped herself back up in the blanket.  "Next time keep your mouth shut when you are shocked then."

"I didn't mean to hurt you.  I hate to see anyone hurt.  Give me their names and I will hunt them down."

"They are dead."  Except for my brother, she added silently.  

"I am sorry to hear it."

"I hope these will do."  Stef stepped into the stall and handed her a loose shirt and a pair of loose greyish pants she normally slept in.

"Wonderful, thanks."  

Stef stared at her arm as she reached out to accept the clothing.

"Don't you dare start."  She growled at the bard and dropped the blanket to pull on the clean shirt.  She managed to change the remainder of her clothing without baring anything.  "Herald, can you tell me what his name is?"

"I don't know.  His mother didn't tell any of the others what she wanted to name him."  He answered after a short delay.  "I suppose you get the honours."

"Um, Nicodimus was my favourite name when I was little, I named my kitten that."

"A big name for a little Companion."  Lance observed.  "What does Nico think of it?"

"He is not thinking of much.  He is still sleepy."  She stroked his snowy white forehead.

"Are you going to raise him?"  Stef asked.

"He thinks I am his mother but a Companion is better suited to the task."

"Actually, the Companions approve of you taking care of him for the time being.  

Carmia says it would scar him to remove him from you know."  Herald Lance said, obviously surprised himself at the Companions' offer

"Carmia is your Companion?"  Afiona tried to clarify.

"And his grandmother."  Lance nodded.

Nico shifted so his head was on her lap and remained contentedly asleep.

"I'll go see to removing Tuni's body."  Lance stood.  "You look like you need to sleep."

"I'll tell the Healers you are down here and not to expect you for a few days."  Stef offered as he left.

Lance gave her one last glance the seemed to be filled with pity.  "I'll see you in the morning.  Thanks for saving Nico."

"It was my honor."  She yawned and slumped further down the wall.  She was asleep even before the men left the stable.


	10. Chapter 10

- Chapter 10 -

The sound of Trainees moving about and an impatient shove finally woke Afiona.

_:Mama?:  The small Companion, half draped with a blanket, stared at her._

_:Afiona.:  She corrected as she struggled upright._

_:Mama-Afi.:  The colt compromised.  __:Hungry.:_

He started lipping at her shirt, searching for milk.

_:Can someone tell the mare from yesterday to meet us here?:  She broadcasted to all the Companions, hoping they would oblige.  "I need to find some formula for you Nico.  We can't keep taking milk from her foal."_

Nico wasn't interested in where his meal came from, so long as he got it soon.

She used her Healing gift to check him over, other than a weaker than normal immune system and his small size he was fine.  So long as the weather was warm she could see no harm in taking him outside.

"Come on Nico.  Let's go find your meal."  She was still yawning as she stepped out of the stall.  Nico kept himself pressed close to her side as the Trainees and Heralds stopped to stare at her.

"How is he doing, Healer?"  The boy from last night asked.

"He is doing very well."  She assured him.  

He relaxed and smiled.  "I am glad to hear it.  What's his name?"

"Nicodimus, Nico for short, but at the moment he is best known as hungry."  She gave the boy a smile, hoping the experience wouldn't harm his self-confidence.  "You did the right thing coming to get me, there was nothing you could have done."

"What happened?"  The boy asked, his pale blue eyes serious.

"An artery tore, I don't know what caused it but it triggered her to go into labour early.  Which saved the foal."  

He nodded slowly.  "Why didn't she call for help?"

"She probably thought it was false labour.  Companions are prone to periods of false labour in their later months."

He nodded.  "Rania says she had false alarms three times before her filly was born."  The boy tilted his head to one side slightly, as if listening to something.  "The mare is coming, she'll be here in a moment."

"Oh, good.  I was worried I would have to go looking for her."  Afiona said with obvious relief.

Nico used the moment to see if her pant leg produced milk.  

"Sorry sweetie, there isn't any there."  She eased her pant leg from his mouth.

The colt looked up at her with some confusion.  _:Mama-Afi, hungry!:_

She stroked his neck as she continued to lead him outside.  _:We'll find you some food then it is my turn.:_

 As they stepped into the sun he stopped to blink up at the blue sky in awe.  _:Big…:_

_:Big.:  She agreed.  She almost wept with gratitude when she saw the mare from the night before, followed by an older filly, approaching them._

Nico didn't need any further urging to nurse.  

Afiona took a moment to pull the straw out of her hair and to examine her clothing.  She had looked worse, she supposed.  Her clothes were wrinkled and falling off of her, one shoulder was actually bared by the massive collar of her shirt.

"Healer.  I am sorry I am late."  Herald Lance ran towards her, followed by his Companion.  "Is it really safe for him to be out here?"

"Yes.  I am stimulating his immune system as we speak."  She pulled up her collar.  "He is speaking today."

"To you?"

"I am an animal mindspeaker.  And I doubt anyone has told him not to speak to me."

"Care to join me for some breakfast?"  Lance offered.

Afiona turned to study him.  He was taller than her, with red-brown hair, he was not incredibly handsome like Stef, but he had an open, interesting face.  She liked him, she knew, given time, she could come to trust him.

"Just remember, Nico must come with me."  She warned.

"My room is on the ground floor and Nico is welcome to join us when he is done, or I can bring some food out here."

"I think out here would be better."  She gave him a smile.  "And I want a chance to change."

"I can watch him while you change if you like."  

"It won't work.  I have tended enough infant Companions to know he won't let his 'mama' out of his sight."

"What are you going to do?  Sleep in the stable till he's grown?"

"No, I can have him in my room.  I will remove my bed and bring in a larger mattress, which should do until he is older.  I have a door to a garden, it is rusted shut, but that is easily remedied."

"If you need any help, feel free to come to me."  Lance offered.  His sincerity obvious.

"It is still up to the Companions to teach him."  She reminded him.  "Could his father help?"

"His father left three days ago to search for his Chosen."

"So he won't have time when he returns."  Afiona crossed her arms and watched her new charge.  "He nurses about a year, right?"

"Carmia says that is about right."

"I can't ask her to nurse him that long.  I am sure I can find a suitable substitute soon.  Actually, I think I remember one in an old book."  Her eyes grew distant as she tried to remember what text she had seen it in.

Finally Nico was finished and he pranced back to his 'Mama-Afi'.

"Hey beautiful."  She smiled and knelt to rub his fuzzy nose.  "Want to see where we will live?"  She repeated the invitation with Mind speech

_:Go with mama-Afi.:  He said happily._

She chuckled and stood.  "I can meet you at the bridged in half a candlemark or so if you like."

"What's so funny?"

"He calls me Mama-Afi."  She admitted.  "If I am late I am sure you can figure out why."

As she suspected, her curious adopted son was fascinated with the room, so long as his mama was close by.  He often hurried back to her, just to assure himself everything was alright.  The mere act of changing fascinated the little fellow, who wanted to be green too when he saw her don a robe.  Demon was confused by the interloper; horses were certainly not indoor creatures.  He didn't leave his spot on her bed but watched them both intently. 

_:He is my son.:  Afiona explained to her old friend.  Unable to find a better explanation the dog would understand._

_:Son?  Not fit!:_

Afiona laughed as Demon, who was familiar with how babies came out, tried to understand how she had birthed such a large baby.  _:I chose him to be my son.  His mother is dead.:_

Demon looked much more comfortable with the explanation.  _:No mate?:_

_:No mate.:  She scratched his ears and watched Nico.  __:Nico, time to go.:_

_:Go where?:  Nico looked up from his examination of the hearth._

She stood and headed for the door.  Nico eagerly followed her.  First, she had to tell the other Healers about Nico and she also had to see to having her bed changed to a stack of mattresses.  Thankfully she didn't need to go up any stairs to accomplish her tasks.

She had to stop Nico from burying his face in a vase of flowers as she waited to see her superior.  _:Enough little one.:_

Nico sighed and turned his attention back on his mama.  

_:How about a story?:  She offered.  __:Once there was a little Companion called Nico.:_

_:Nico!:  His ears perked up, recognizing his name._

_:Yes, a Nico just like you.:  She marvelled at the maturity of the colt.  He was barely hours hold but he was already as aware as a toddler.  __:This Nico loved pretty colors.:_

Nico watched her intently, his entire being focused on the story.  

_:One day Nico saw a magical creature, it was made of all the colors.  It was as big as his nose.:_

_:I have a nose!:  Nico said excitedly._

_:Nico tried to sneak up on the pretty creature.  He stepped as quietly as a cat as he crept closer.  Sensing Nico, the small, colourful creature fluttered his wings and rose slow into the air.:_

_:What is it?:  Nico's limited patience ran out.  _

_:A butterfly.:  She sighed, glad she wouldn't have to figure out the end of the story._

_:I want to see a butterfly!:_

_:Maybe later.:  She promised as the door opened._

"Healer Afiona."  As always, Healer Geina looked harried.  Her washed out blue eyes took in the tiny foal.  "A new patient?"

"Actually, he is why I needed to speak to you."  She stood and beckoned Nico to follow.  "His mother died last night.  He has decided I am his mother."

Geina looked down at the colt.  "And a Companion mare won't raise him?"

"Because he is smaller and his immune system is compromised it would be necessary for me to remain with him constantly already.  They have decided that I am a suitable surrogate mother for the time being.  I am going to need the door to the garden in my room opened and to have my bed removed and some large mattresses put in."

Geina chuckled softly.  "I have never heard of any Healer being asked to raise a Companion.  From the moment you joined us you have been undeniably unique.  I will have Tagin take over you students so you can raise your little fellow."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome, keep we apprised of your progress when you can."  Geina ordered.  "I want a record of what you do in case this happens again."

"I will.  I better get him outside soon, he just ate."  She scratched his ears.

"I hope you explain the difference between inside and outside to him soon."  Geina chuckled as she watched one of the most promising Healers in the Circle lead the small Companion from the room.  She often argued with Afiona about her choice not to tend humans.  Geina had no doubt that Afiona could easily be one of the most powerful Healers in Valdemar.  She didn't understand Afiona's reluctance but the Mindhealer that had spoken to her when she first arrived said it was highly unlikely she would ever be able to tend humans and counselled Geina to accept Afiona's choice.  A difficult proposition for a Healer who wanted all possible resources brought to bear for her patients.

Finally outside Afiona strolled slowly, letting Nico examine the world around him.  

She was genuinely surprised to find she was already in love with Nico.  For years she had doubted she was capable of the emotion.

Lance and his Companion were waiting at the bridge.  Of course it took Nico several minutes to examine the bridge.  

"I was about to come looking for you."  Lance admitted.

"He just had to examine everything we passed."  She smiled and accepted Lance's offered arm.

Lance's Companion paced next to Nico, her full attention on him.

"How is she dealing with her loss?"

"She misses her of course."  Lance glanced at his Companion.  "And she worried about her grandson of course."

"I won't let anything happen to him.  As we speak my room is being outfitted for him."

"I bet you never expected to become a mother when you came running to the rescue."

"You win that bet.  I love him already though."  She turned her attention on to Nico and smiled tenderly.

"That is obvious."  Lance tightened his grip on her arm making her look up at him.

"What?"

He smiled down at her.  "Carmia is teasing me.  She is saying I am infatuated with you."

"Are you?"

"Of course.  You are fascinating."  

"I am honored, but…"

"Don't worry, I am not trying to lure you into an affair."  Lance stopped in a small copse.  "Carmi pointed out that you are more in need of a friend.  Also, I am a teacher, I can probably help with Nico."

"Good."  She flashed him a genuine smile.  "I have the feeling I am going to need a babysitter soon enough."

Lance shook out a blanket as Nico ran back to his Mama-Afi's side.  "What's wrong?"

"He is just making sure I am still here."  She explained as Nico again hurried back to his Grandmother.  "He is a sweetheart."

Afiona helped him set out the cold breakfast.

They ate in almost silence for several minutes, watching the foal examine a clump of grass for a butterfly.

"Do you mind if I pry?"

"Better than trying to guess."  She shrugged.

"You said your family caused your scars."  He started.  "Why?  What happened?"

"My father was blood path mage, so long as I didn't die he was safe to do what ever he wanted.  He would make the cuts on my arms and legs for the Power he could raise.  It wasn't often, thank goodness, and he always saw to it that I was Healed afterwards.  But my brother was the worst.  At every chance he would beat me for the littlest things.  One day, when the Healer was patching me up yet again I decided not to answer him and he decided I had suffered from brain damage.  Not long after my family, except for my brother, died."

"What killed them?  A disease?"

"No, Herald Vanyel.  I am a Mavelan."

"Oh."  Lance's voice had a distinctly uncertain quality.

"I don't want your pity, their deaths saved me."  She met his worried green gaze.  "The world was better off with them gone."

"What about the other children?"  Lance asked.  "Aren't they bitter?"

"There was only one other survivor.  My brother and I."

"At least they could no longer harm you."

"The last time I saw my brother he stabbed me in the back."

"Oh."

"Could we discus something else?  The weather?  The war?  Your classes?  Anything?"

"Sorry for prying."  Lance looked away.

"I just rather not think about it."  She sighed and scratched Nico's ear as he hurried over to check on her again.  "It is the past.  Tell me, what do you teach?"

"Weapons.  Normally I take the afternoon classes.  With the tension between us and Karse even more emphasis has been placed on weapons and tactics."

"I have treated many of the Companions who were injured on the border.  You should work with the Companions more."  She said bluntly.  "It is incredibly difficult to reverse the nerve damage that has set in by the time they make it to me."

"Maybe you should take a post down there."

"I applied for a post down south but it was rejected.  Apparently they want me held in reserve in case hostilities flare again.  Three Healers were taken in the last year, forced to work until they _died of overwork."_

"I heard."  Lance toyed with a piece of grass.  "One of my students was the one who discovered their fate."

"They are keeping all the powerful healers out of the south but at the ready.  I was ordered to keep a bag packed."  Afiona shuddered at the thought of dying, surrounded by blood and pain and unable to even make a dent in the suffering.

"What about Nico?  Will you still be expected to go?"

"I think so.  I hope that he will be older and will understand why I can't stay with him, nothing will convince me to take him to a front, unless he is under his Chosen and capable of making his own choice."  She said firmly.

"I feel the same way about my students.  If war was declared many would be thrust into Whites so fast their heads would spin.  None of them would be ready."

"They won't be ready, no matter what."  She remembered the young Guardsmen that she had tend while she was still a trainee.  "The best you can do is make them as prepared as possible to face the chaos."

"Exactly."  Lance agreed.  "It is almost always the young and inexperienced that die."

Afiona lay on her back and took a bite out of an apple.  "I teach first and second year students.  They will be sent with the Master Healers.  I can't help but wonder how many are going to die doing their duty.  Gods, if only we could just wave our hands and have this all disappear.  You should Feel the stress over at the Healers.  It is obvious that tensions are rising.  Our beds are filling up."

"The Companions have chosen fifteen new trainees, that's always a bad sign.  I wonder, how long until we both head south?"

Nico stumbled and crumpled on top of Afiona.  _:Mama-Afi!  Play?:_

The dark mood broken, she laughed and helped him stand.  She left the half eaten breakfast to chase after the spindle legged colt, allowing the concerns that had plagued her for months to slip from her mind. 


	11. Chapter 11

- Chapter 11 -

_:Mama-Afi!:  The desperate wail pulled her from a deep sleep.  Nico was standing next to her cocoon of blankets, his nose next to her face._

_:What's wrong?:_

Nico, taking her response as an invitation to snuggle he tried to worm under the blankets, falling on top of her as he did so.

Afiona moaned as she pushed his furry rump off her chest and pulled the blanket over his back, leaving his head free.

_:Story?:  Nico stood to turn around so his head was nearest her, taking the blankets with him._

_:Silly pup.:  Demon grumbled from the opposite side of Afiona's body._

_:Patience.:  Afiona sighed as she helped the foal settled next to her and recover the three of them with the blanket.  __:Go to sleep Nico.:_

_:Story!:_

_:Sleep.:  Afiona insisted firmly.  She had barely slept since the night before Nico was born.  If this kept up she would be forced to use her Gift to __make him sleep.  It seemed barely a candlemark would pass before he would start begging for another story._

Nico huffed and stared at her out of a luminous blue eye.  

_:No story.:  She repeated.  __:Sleep.:_

Nico huffed again.

She ignored him.

_:Pee.:  He informed her._

"Oh, Nico."  She rolled on to her back and grumbled as she got to her feet.  _:Come on.:_

Nico and Demon scrambled to their feet and followed as she opened the door and stepped out into the still night.  Healer Geina had further reduced her duties to just what she could fit in around Nico's needs, which was barely enough to feed the animals a few treats.

She shivered as the cool breeze tugged at her cotton nightgown.  Nico happily pranced around the moonlit garden.  Demon was considerate enough to do his business quickly and head back to bed, grumbling about "silly pups" not letting him sleep.

"Come on Nico."  She hid a yawn behind her hand and settled on the stone bench to wait.

Nico paused to examine a leaf that was apparently fascinating and Afiona felt her eyes drift close.

It seemed only minutes later that someone was shaking her shoulder.

"Afiona?"

"Hmmm?"  She blinked and sat up.  Her neck and shoulders stiff from the uncomfortable position.  "Medren?"

Medren was kneeling next to her with obvious concern.  "What are you doing out here?"

Afiona quickly stood and looked around for her charge.  "Nico!"

"Who is Nico?"  Medren asked.  "If you found some one…"

"Nico is my charge, an orphaned Companion foal."

_:Silly pup is here.:  Demon assured her from inside._

"Thank goodness, he is inside."  She ran across the bedewed grass to the still open door.  Inside she found Nico cuddled up next to the aged dog.  "_Now he sleeps."_

"How long as he been yours?"  Medren asked, standing bare inched from her.

"A week now."  Afiona flopped into her chair.  "It was an incredible surprise to suddenly become a mother of a newborn toddler."

"Toddler?"  Medren stared down at the foal.

"He is the equivalent of a human toddler in my opinion."  Afiona explained.  "What are you doing here?  I didn't expect you to come for another couple weeks."

Medren sat on the arm of the chair and smiled down at her.  "You would rather I left?"

"Hardly."  She returned his smile.  "I desperately need a babysitter right now."

"A babysitter?"  Medren repeated dubiously.

"Truly."  Afiona's face grew serious.  "But more importantly, I am concerned about your friend, Stefen.  I can't repeat what he said, but I want you to take this season and travel north with him."

"But I just got here.  Never mind.  If that is what Stef needs I will escort him north."  Medren grimaced.  "At least it won't be snowing."

"He needs a connection to Van and that forest is the best place to make a connection.  Use the chance to compose another song, preferably not one about freezing to death.  He also needs a friend right now."

"I already said I would go."  Medren assured her.  "Grandmother is coming, she is expecting me to dance attendance on her, I'll leave it to you to explain why I have suddenly grabbed my lute and run north."  He kissed her temple affectionately.  

"Thanks." 

Nico finally roused and shook his head, his unruly tuft of a mane looking even more tangled than normal.  _:Who!:_

"He is adorable."  Medren observed.  "You have to tell me how he became yours, I get the feeling it would make a great song."

"Aiming to write a comedy and a tragedy?"  Afiona beckoned Nico over.  _:This is Medren.  He is my friend.  He likes to tell stories.:_

Nico nearly knocked the chair over at that bit of news.  

"What does he want?"  Medren asked as he tried to hold off the colt.

"He wants a story."

_:Story!:  Nico agreed._

"I am going to have a bath, I have barely managed to wash my face since he was born.  Could you tell him a story and keep him occupied?"

"I'll try."  Medren took her place on the chair and rested his arms on his knees so he was eye to eye with Nico.  "Once there was a great Herald named Vanyel…"

"Nothing too bloody."  She warned as she made her escape.

Less than half a candlemark later she returned to find Medren and Nico playing a game of tag.

_:Mama-Afi!:  Nico called when she reappeared. _

"How's my little boy?"  She knelt and scratched his ears.

Nico buried his face in her chest and she could feel his relief at her return.

Medren was huffing when he knelt next to her.  "He's fast."

"Tell me about it."  She grinned.  "I finally feel human again.  Thanks for watching him."

"Since you are fully awake and in a good mood, I brought a gift."

"Oh?"  Her curiosity was peeked.  

"And it seems you will appreciate it even more now with this little fellow to keep up with."  Medren took her hand and led her from the walled garden towards the stable.

Nico stuck to Afiona's side, watching the new surroundings eagerly.

"Is it in your saddlebags?"  She asked.

"You'll see."  He said enigmatically.  

He didn't stop at the stall where his gelding waited for treats.  Afiona promised to return later since she couldn't stop.  Two stalls down he stopped.  Afiona could see only a dapple-grey rump at first, before the horse turned to examine its visitors.

"She's for you.  One of the best of the Ashkevron stables."  Medren said proudly.

The horse raised her head with dignity and eyed her three visitors.  _:Who?:_

_:I am Afiona.:  She answered.  "What's her name?"_

"Whisper."  Medren stood aside to allow her closer examination of her new mount.

Whisper was of the warhorse line.  It was obvious in the thicker legs and neck, but intelligence and patience shone in her eyes.  Her mane was nearly black and her hide a medium grey with pale dapples.  Her powerful hooves were mostly covered by her feathering.  Every line of her body was elegant and powerful.

"You heard about Karse I take it."

"Aunt Lissa wrote to Grandfather about her concerns.  Since he can't read I read it to him."  Medren explained.  "The last thing I want to ever hear is that one of my closest and dearest friends fell because she didn't have a suitable mount to escape on.  I know you, you will go to the front if you believe you are needed.  You would even take your little friend."

Afiona stroked Whisper's nose, the mare sighed in contentment.  Nico, jealous, head butted her leg, nearly sending her to the ground.

"I love you too, don't worry."  She assured him.  "Thank you Medren.  She is wonderful."

"You are most welcome."

_:Story?:  Nico asked eagerly, bored already.  __:Play?:  He mock charged at Medren._

Afiona laughed and stepped back before she was knocked over.  Little Nicodimus was growing stronger every day and he didn't know his own strength, as many of Afiona's bruises proved.

"Afiona."  A familiar voice haled her and she grinned at the approaching Herald. 

"Lance, coming to check up on Nico?"  She asked lightly.  "Medren, this is Herald Lance.  Lance, this is my friend Bard Medren.  I believe I mentioned him."

"You did."  Lance smiled as he extended his hand in greeting.  "I am pleased to meet you.  I hear you are a formidable swordsman."

"Lance is one of the Weapons masters."  Afiona explained.  "We should get out of here before Nico decides to knock us into a dirty stall."

"Come quietly and I will tell you a story."  Medren promised.  Nico ignored him.

"He doesn't understand human speech yet."  Afiona explained.  "He just loves to hear you talk."

_:Come and let Medren will tell another story.:  Afiona invited the frolicking colt who froze at her words and returned obediently to her side._

"Is he ever growing."  Lance observed.  "Carmia says they couldn't be more pleased with your care."

"I am honoured.  Just remind them that it is up to them to teach him how to be a Companion."

Nico walked looking back over his shoulder at Medren.  Afiona could hear his thoughts, completely focused on the promised story.  "I think he is about to learn a wonderful lesson in watching where you are going."

Seconds later Nico was sprawled on the stable floor after a close encounter with an open door.

_:Owwie!!:  Nico wailed in her mind._

_:It is only a bruise.  That is why you should watch where you are going.:  Afiona knelt to soothe the tender nose.  If she didn't know better she would say those were tears in his eyes._

The two men knelt on either side of her and together they help Nico back to his feet.  

"It seems only his pride is hurt."  Lance observed.

"He bruised his nose but his pride is firmly intact."  Afiona corrected.  "He is insisting next time Medren will walk in front of him where Nico can see if he runs away.  He thought you would resume the game of tag."

"Tell him tag is an outside game."  Medren suggested and obediently started walking in front of them as they headed back outside. 


	12. Chapter 12

- Chapter 12 -

Medren left Afiona with Nico as he went in search of Herald Lance.  Unless he was misreading the intentions of the Herald, he was pursuing Afiona.  

After she had recovered enough to stand on her own she had become his dearest friend.  The last thing he wanted was for her to be hurt.  It was still all or nothing when it came to her heart.  Either she trusted someone completely or she didn't trust them at all.

Heralds were infamous for their shallow love affairs and he did not want to see Afiona fall in love with Lance and have Lance only interested in a dalliance.  

It was in the same salle that he had often sparred with his uncle that he found Lance preparing for his next bout.

"Medren, I didn't mean I wanted to spar with you immediately."  Lance smiled as he entered.

"That isn't why I am here."  Medren stopped several feet from him.  "Actually I wanted to talk to you about Afiona."

"Are you two a couple?  The way she spoke of you I thought you were just friends."  Lance asked neutrally.

"We aren't a couple.  I just don't want to see her hurt."  Medren warned.

"So you are warning me off?"  Lance crossed his arms over his chest and looked defensive.

"No.  I am warning you not to hurt her.  She isn't capable of light relationships.  It is always all or nothing.  Getting involved with her would only hurt her in the long run.  My uncle was a Herald and my half sister is a Herald.  I know that your hearts go first to your Companions.  She deserves more than that."

"She is a grown adult; she can make her own decisions."  Lance countered.

"Excuse me gentlemen."  A strong female voice interrupted them from the door.  "You look like you are about to come to blows."

"Mother."  Lance forced a strained smile.  "You're early."

"For what, a blood bath?"  The amused Herald set her padded armor on the ground by the door.  "I assume this is over a woman."

Lance looked away sheepishly.  

"I'll take that as a yes.  I assume you are both vying for the same lady's hand."  She took a seat on the bench and looked up at the younger men.  

"I don't want her hurt."  It was Medren's turn to be defensive.

"So you're her brother?  Trust me, Lance is not the type to trifle with a lady's feelings."  She started to strap on her armor, her amusement was obvious.  

"I am not her brother and there is more to it than just her being an interesting lady."  Medren tried to explain.  "She is my dearest friend and I do not want her hurt."

"Mother, just stay out of it."  Lance protested. 

"This must be about that healer you have been going on and on about."  She smiled slightly.  "Boy, whoever you are, he is more likely to cut off his own hand to even _think anything that would upset that girl.  He is completely infatuated with her.  At least a dozen times a day he starts talking about how wonderful, strong, resourceful, intelligent, beautiful, or perfect she is."_

"Perfect?"  Medren glanced at Lance.  "She is far from perfect."

Lance blushed a bright red.  "I have never said she was perfect."

"Name one fault."  She challenged as she checked the last buckle.

Lance remained silent.

"You see?  She has turned his brain to mush.  He gets the same look as his father does."  She chuckled at Lance's blush.

Medren suppressed a chuckle.  Perhaps his fears were groundless, but all the same…

"If he hurts her his name will be on the lips of everyone in Valdemar as the Dishonourable Herald."  Medren warned as he stalked from the room.

"Angered a Bard, Lance?"  She picked up her sword and made a few practice arcs through the air.  "Not wise."

"If I hurt her it will be the least I deserve."  Lance adjusted his own armor.

"Tell me about her."  It was more of a command than suggestion, but his mother wasn't the most feared weapons master in the Circle because she was nice. 

"I thought I already did a dozen times a day."  Lance sidestepped the question.

"I know she is a Healer.  I know she hasn't fallen at your feet.  I know you _have fallen at hers.  However, you have not once mentioned her name."  She pointed out._

"Healer Afiona."

"I remember her.  She patched up Thian last year after that run in with the bandits.  She is brilliant with Companions, actually talks to them rather than treating them like a horse.  I wish we had another dozen Healers like her."  She recalled.  "Especially with trouble brewing down south.

"She is also the one raising Tuni's foal."  Lance admitted.

"Good thing she understands the strengths and weaknesses of Companions then."  She waited for her son to continue.  "Why don't you invite her to supper tonight?  The foal too, of course.  She could probably use the break."

"Medren just got in today.  I imagine she wants to spend dinner with him."  Lance's disappointment was obvious.

To his surprise his mother chuckled, a warm amused sound.  "My poor boy."

"We are just going to be friends."  Lance protested.  "Carmia probed her shortly after Nico's birth, it is unlikely she will ever welcome me as more than a close friend.  It's not that she's cold, far from it, but she will probably never trust a human completely."

His mother's eyes sobered.  "I am sorry to hear that."

"If all she wants is friendship, I will be content with that."  Lance said firmly as he settled a helmet into place and chose a practice weapon.  "Enough delays, unless you want to be embarrassed in front of your students."

"Somehow I don't think this is your lucky day."  She attacked.

~ * ~

"Where's Nico?"  Afiona called in a singsong voice as she staged a mock search of the garden off her room.  Since his tail end was protruding from behind a bush she knew exactly where he was.

_:Mama-Afi can't find me!:  He squealed with joy._

_:Silly pup.:  Demon grumbled.  __:He is behind the bush.:_

_:Find him later.  Wait for a bit, stop running.:  Afiona explained to the dog._

_:Good.:  Demon sat back and cocked his head up at her.  __:Go, eat, sleep, then find him.:_

_:I really hope you were joking.:  She scratched his head._

_:Joking?:  The confused dog still didn't understand some more elaborate concepts._

She deliberately echoed everything she said to Nico in mindspeech so Nico could learn to understand others beside her.  "I see Nico!"

Nico emitted a happy, squealing neigh as he burst out of the bush and ran off to find a new hiding place in the garden, this time under a bench.

"A new game?"  Medren asked jovially as he entered the garden.

"One that requires less running on my part."  She admitted with a grin.  "Where's Nico?  Is he…under the tree?"

_:No Nico under the tree!:  He informed her happily._

"He has been going non-stop all day, he only stops to eat and nap.  And even that he does fast."  She deliberately sat on the bench sheltering Nico.  "Where could he be?"

_:Under the bench!:  Nico scrambled out.  __:Story-man!:_

"I am afraid he wants a story."  She said with no little amusement and very little regret.  "Have you spoken to Stefen yet?"

"Yes.  He has agreed a trip north would be good and says 'thank you for listening'."  Medren relayed as he settled on the ground.  "We are leaving tomorrow morning so we can hit the Brightcreek fair.  There is always good coin there."

"Enjoy yourselves, and try to stay out of trouble."  Afiona admonished.

"Us?  Trouble?"  Medren contrived to look innocent.

"I spoke to Breda last time she had a Dazzle headache, she had plenty of stories about the two of you while you were in the Collegium."  She raised one eyebrow in challenge.

"And no doubt all true and barely scratching the surface.  Without Uncle Van to haul me out of some of those scrapes…" Medren grinned and wondered exactly what stories she heard.

"Talk to Stef about those memories.  He needs them."  She ordered.  "I imagine you want to head to bed early."

"Somewhat.  I am bunking with Stef and he wants to head out early."

"That is the wisest solution.  My bed is crowded as it is."  She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips.  "I am going to take advantage of your generosity again and get a few things done while you entertain him."

"Don't take too long."  He said as he leaned forward and Nico actually lay down before him, both ears pricked and ready for the story.  "Today I am going to take you back to the start of it all.  There were no Companions…"

Afiona hurried to clean up her room, which looked like a miniature tornado hit it, before she saw to the worst of the injuries and the few patients she had refused to give up.  One was a Companion whose Herald was also injured, had back leg that was broken in an awkward spot and wrenched the other badly enough to warrant being hoisted in a sling that kept the weight off his legs.  Another was a child's pet dog that had been hit by a carriage, its spine damaged.  The child who owned her wrote pleading letters to Afiona, begging her to heal his pet and she had refused to give up on the dog.  The nerves in the area were miraculously undamaged and she was slowly Healing the vertebrae that had been damaged.  In a few more weeks the dog would be able to run home.  Until then she had to be kept immobile to prevent more damage.

Of the two the dog's greeting was warmer.  It took her only moments to check the healing process and leave the still drugged dog to her barely disturbed slumber.

The Companion was fully conscious and in agony over both the injuries and being separated from his Herald.

"Good news."  She smiled at him as she adjusted the height of the sling to give his feet a little bit more purchase.  "Your Herald will be down to visit you in three days.  I am still trying to convince them to move him down here but they are as stubborn as mules."

He eyed her balefully and didn't answer.

"Nico is doing just fine.  When you are feeling better I will bring him by.  For now he is far too rambunctious and would probably try to coerce you into a game of tag."  She started rubbing hiss back with long hard strokes, massaging the inactive muscles.  "I imagine you are looking forward to a few weeks of just having your Herald to yourself, no arrows to dodge, no messages to run."  She stroked his neck affectionately.  "And I don't doubt you are feeling guilty for actually looking forward to being off duty.  Your Herald certainly is.  Just remember, the more you relax and recuperate now, the less likely you are going to be back here inside a year.  A month now versus several later."

The Companion raised his head so he was eye level with her giving her a look that was best described as irritated.

"Also, I have to teach your Herald to massage your back legs to keep the circulation good.  Cooperate and I will teach him to massage the rest of you."  She laughed when his ears perked up and his look became more pleading.  She was well aware he loved it when she had time to massage more than his back and legs.  She was one of the few non-Heralds who knew Companions were as hedonistic as their Chosen.  "I'll try to see you later but it probably won't be until tomorrow.  I'll bring you a pastry to something."

She managed a quick wash up and a meal before she returned to rescue Medren, who was just wrapping up his story of the founding.

"Enough for now.  Medren need's a break."  She said firmly.

Nico looked back over his shoulder at her.  _:No more story?:_

"The story is over.  It is time to eat."  

Nico scrambled to his feet and shook himself vigorously, causing him to tumble back to the ground in a tangle of legs.

"I better go find something to eat myself."  Medren and stretched.  "Oh, I spoke to Lance.  I like him."

Afiona smiled with obvious amusement.  "Still warning them off me?"

Medren ignored her question.  "I think you should ask him to help you with Nico.  You are obviously being run ragged."

"I will.  And you make certain Stefen gets a break.  I'll see you off tomorrow."  She gave him a hug and led her charge out towards the field.  

She had searched for a substitute for the mare's milk but none supplied the same nutrients or helped with his immune system like mare's milk, so for at least the first few months Nico would be fed by the Companions, after that she had found a formula that was good for foals orphaned after a few months.

The mare was waiting with her filly and a strange stallion.  The trio waited patiently as they approached.

The stallion watched the colt intently as Nico pranced to the mare and happily started nursing.

"You must be his father."  Afiona greeted the stallion.

The stallion stared at her for several seconds before nodding.

"He is coming along quite well.  He is out of the woods and I have no doubt he will be a massive fellow eventually."  She assured him.

The Companion nodded again.

"I assume you want to take over raising him."  Sadness tinged her voice.  

The Companion crossed the ground between them.  _:I agree you are the best choice for his mother.  I am the first to admit I don't have any parenting experience.:_

Afiona jumped at the sudden voice in her head.  "Thank you.  But I don't have any either."

_:I have every faith in you.:   The stallion turned back to his son and watched him with obvious awe._

Afiona studied his profile for a moment.  He was tall, gracefully as a bird in flight but obviously powerful.  His deep blue eyes were intense, filled with intelligence and she thought she could sense sadness in their depths.

_:Mama-Afi want some?:  Nico twisted his neck to see her. _

_:No, you enjoy.:  She smiled at him and settled under a tree.  After dinner the filly, Caeli, often played with Nico, which allowed Afiona to relax for a little while._

She pulled a slender book out of her pocket and settled back to read.  It was children's stories since she was running out of stories to tell Nico.

Something she really needed to research considering Medren was leaving in the morning, two days was not nearly enough to catch up with her friend but she knew Stefen needed him more right now.

Besides she would see him at midwinter, she had already decided to visit Tashir for the holiday.

Afiona smiled ruefully ass Nico bowled into her asking for a story.  With Nico here she wouldn't have time to feel lonely.


	13. Chapter 13

- Chapter 13 -

The Companion, Bardaric, watched the slender Healer from the corner of his eye as she settled under the tree without her being aware of his observation.  An advantage of the incredible panoramic vision Companions shared with horses.

She removed a slim volume from a pocket of her robe and settled back to read.

He didn't need to be an empath to know how much she loved Nico.  It was obvious in how she kept glancing at him with a small smile.

It was a pity she was a Healer.

Bardaric turned his attention to his son.  Nico was obviously happy, curious, intelligent, and loved, what more could he want for his son?

Nico finished nursing and, after checking on Afiona, ran off to chase the filly.

_:Daric, what's bothering you?:  The mare who had nursed Nico asked.  __:Is it because you didn't find your Chosen?:_

_:No, it is because I did.:  Daric admitted. _

_:Well, where are they?:  The mare asked.  __:Why didn't you Choose them?:_

_:Because they are more needed where they are.:  Daric said sadly._

~ * ~

_:Play!:  Nico urged, sticking his nose in Afiona's face._

_:When are you going to start sleeping through the night?:  She groaned and rolled on to her side._

Nico hesitated only a moment before he bounced across the room to locate one of the rag doll Companions a Herald had made for him.  They were ideal for games of 'chase the toy' or 'hide the toy' that he delighted in.

He dropped the doll by Mama-Afi's head and returned to collect another toy.

_:No.  Put them away and go to sleep.:  The night shrouded form ordered._

_:Mama-Afi…:  He whined._

_:No.  It is night, we sleep at night and play during the day.:  Afiona said firmly._

Nico huffed and settled against Afiona's back, his head resting on his doll.  _:Night is dark.:_

Afiona sighed.  _:Of course it is dark, that is why we sleep at night.:  Slowly it dawned on her, Nico wanted her up because he was scared of the dark.  It was night, he had almost no vision at the moment and he was trapped in a room, his instincts were probably making him very nervous._

_:Would you like a candle?:  Afiona asked._

_:A big candle?:  He asked hopefully._

_:Whatever candle we can find…:  Afiona reluctantly emerged from her bed, stepped around Nico and made her way to the door.  In the hall, on benches spaced every few meters, were night candles, thick and long burning, they were meant to provide illumination if an emergency should arise.  _

She chose the candle directly across from her door and placed it on her own nightstand.  "Better?"

_:Sleep now?:  Nico asked._

_:Finally.:  Afiona slid back into her place between Demon and Nico and pulled the blanket over her eyes to block out the light._

She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.  Nightmares ambushed as soon as she was unconscious.  First they were only fragmentary images, fists, yelling, fear, pain, and images of blood.  Slowly they coalesced into images of her brother, towering over her, sadistic glee on his face.  His face was lit by a red light, giving him a demonic appearance.  She struggled against the nightmare before her body was frozen, as stiff as a statue.  She Felt first a sense of desperation and Saw a glowing blue light before the vision began.

She Felt herself pulled, the city of Haven passing beneath her feet and she flew southward.  She saw fields and forest flash beneath her, it was impossible for her to see the roads she was traveling so quickly.

When she figured she was about to reach Karse she finally started to slow.  A Valdemaran town with a garrison, most of the lights out passed beneath her feet.  The border guard's huts marked the current border, where she descended quickly to ground level, slowing until she finally stopped inside a camp.

There were enough tents for a small company stationed just inside the border.  The religious paraphernalia obvious on the few still awake told her these were Karsites, not bandits.

She stopped struggling against the pull and allowed it to draw her to the largest tent in the center of the camp.  It was well lit with several guards stationed outside.  The malevolence emanating from the tent left a bitter taste in her mouth.

 She passed through the wall like it wasn't there and found herself among four obviously high-ranking men of Karsite origin, one obviously a priest by his red robes.  Two lower ranked officers held a slumped form between them; a female, with her fall of brown hair hiding her face.  She was garbed as a low ranking Karsite female but Afiona could sense she wasn't Karsite by birth.  The need to help her was almost too strong for Afiona to resist.  

Afiona couldn't understand a word said by the Karsites, but it was unnecessary.  Their hostility towards their captive was obvious in their body language and to her Empathy.  Her healing gifts told her the woman was not near death despite being underfed and beaten but the most incredible sorrow emanated from her.  

The priest stepped forward and grabbed the woman's hair, pulling her head back.

Afiona's heart froze as the woman's face was exposed.  She had tended her Companion only a few months ago for a badly strained tendon.  He had injured it going over a jump on the obstacle course.

_Oh, blessed gods._

The woman stilled.  _:Who's there?:_

_:A friend.:  Afiona said hesitantly.  __:I cannot help you, I can only watch.:_

_:Tell the king, they are preparing.  We have less than a year.:  The woman's voice Felt dead to Afiona's sensitive Gifts._

_:Your Companion is dead.:  She said with sad knowledge._

_:Just get the hell out and tell the King!:  The woman said desperately._

_:Don't worry, I will, I am in Haven.:  Afiona tried to soothe her even though she knew it was pointless._

The Priest grabbed the woman by the throat and squeezed until she was about to pass out before he released her.  He yelled more questions at her but she didn't answer.

_:How did you find me?:  The Herald asked as she gasped for air._

Afiona stepped between her and Priest and gently touched the captive's neck with a translucent hand, easing the pain.  _:I was drawn here.  I think I was brought by your Companion.  I am Afiona.  Tell me everything you want relayed and I will see it is brought to the king's attention.:_

_:Tell him Karse is building their army and preparing their fortresses.  It will be at least a year, maybe two, before they will be ready to attack.  Their Son of the Sun has told them that the world must be purged of the infidels and Heretics.  They needed an outside enemy to stabilize the country.  And tell him, they have magic!  There are mages among the priests.  Make sure you tell him that!:_

_:I will.:  Afiona promised, their entire exchange taking mere seconds.  __:Is that all?:_

_:Yes, now just tell him!:  The woman ordered._

Afiona hesitated only a second.  She had done this for animals hurt beyond mending before.  She touched the woman's chest and slowed her heart.

The woman's eyes widened and her eyes focused on Afiona's mist like form as it came into focus.

_:Go with your Companion and find peace.  I will carry your message.:  Afiona assured the woman as she slumped in the officers' arms and Afiona finally stopped her heart completely.  A flash of wonder and peace and an impression of light crossed the healing bond before death severed it._

The men took several seconds before they realised their prisoner was dead.  Afiona was already being drawn back to her body as they tried to revive the Herald.

Again everything passed in a blur before she snapped back into her body.  It felt much like a joint snapping into place.

Demon was whining and liking her face, calling her and desperate since she didn't answer.  No matter how many times she fell into a trance he was always worried she wouldn't wake.   

Nico was frantic, his wide blue eyes were filled with fear.  His hooves accidentally striking her side causing bruises.  _:Mama-Afi!!  Mama!:_

_:Don't worry love.:  Afiona stroked his neck, the movement difficult because of her total exhaustion.  __:Mama is alright.  I just had to talk to someone far away.:_

_:Not again!:  Nico ordered and cuddled up against her with his head on her chest so he could watch her._

Demon calmed as soon as she scratched his ears.  He was satisfied she had returned and all was well.  Despite training her Gift of Farsight remained hard to block out.  Often nightmares triggered the visions where she would find herself in her brother's body, an occurrence that had occurred many times since she was a child.  She also would find herself pulled to the scene of an accident or other sources of great pain, either emotional or physical.  Normally those visions released her quickly but a few times, when she was too far to summon help, she would remain, she had discovered she was able to work a Healing in this state to a limited extent in the last year.

Most of the more distant visions were of Heralds or Companions, she would often be the only one in any position to help so she would set aside her preferences and heal the Heralds as well as the Companions.

Each session left her so drained it would often take a week to recover.

Afiona battled exhaustion that was pulling her back towards sleep knowing she had to get up.  _If I can just sit up…_

The deep mournful tolling of the Death Bell urged her further into wakefulness.

"I have to get up."  She reminded herself and slowly sat up.

_:Sleep?:  Nico asked._

_:Later.  I have to go talk to someone.:  Afiona struggled to her feet, her legs shaking as she slowly made her way to the garden door._

It was pushed inward before she reached it, revealing a Companion, Nico's father.

_:Get on, I will take you.:  He ordered._

Too tired to argue Afiona tried to pull herself onto his back, only to slide back to the ground.  The stallion knelt carefully next to her, allowing her to pull herself across his back.

As they set off Nico trailed behind, his eyes on his mama.  

Bardaric stopped at a set of half hidden door that led to the Queen's chamber.  It was unoccupied as the current Queen preferred to share her husband's bed, but it was closest to the King.

Apparently word of her need to talk to the King had traveled as the door opened almost immediately revealing a white clad form.

Afiona nearly slid off into their arms.  "I have to talk to the king."

Someone picked her up and carried her inside, Nico following closely.

Afiona could feel the start of a reaction headache in her temples.  "I need to talk to the king."  She repeated as firmly as possible.

"Don't worry, I'm taking you to him."  Lance's voice assured her.

She struggled to open her eyes.  "What are you doing here?"

"I take turns at royal night watch."  Lance told her as he carried her down the hall and stopped before two blue clad guards.  "Open the door."

The guards obeyed with out question, admitting them into the Royal apartments.

"What's wrong?"  A semi-familiar female voice asked.  

"She says she needs to talk to the king and has been drained almost completely dry."_  Lance set her down on something soft.  A pair of gentle hands enfolded hers and she felt a rush of energy, not enough to replenish her, but enough to help her win her battle with oblivion._

A dark hair young woman about her age was staring at her from next to the couch she lay on.  Beyond was the man she had seen only from a distance before this.  The king looked more mournful than regal but she still recognized him.

"The Herald.  I spoke to her."  Afiona said bluntly.  "The one who died."

"How is that possible?"  The young woman asked.

"I was…drawn to her, she was in Karse, a prisoner.  Her Companion was dead.  She says Karse is building their armies slowly.  In a year or two they will move on us.  She said they have mages among the priests.  It is going to be a holy war."

"Are you sure?"  The king asked.

"She is telling the truth."  The woman said in her defence.  "And considering she is still likely to collapse, you should save your doubts for later, love."

"Very well.  May I ask who you are?"

"She's Healer Afiona, the one who specialises in Companions."  Lance answered for her.

"I have heard of her, Healer Carthan mentioned her, she doesn't like working with humans."  The woman stood and exchanged a worried look with the king.  Afiona could sense an exchange between the pair.

_She must be Herald Jisa, Afiona observed as she rubbed her temples.  The throbbing was becoming intense._

Lance pulled a chair next to the couch and sat next to her.  "Are you going to be alright?"

"I have yet to hear of someone dying from a headache."  She said dryly.

_:Mama-Afi!:  Nico wailed, his fear obvious in his sending._

Afiona struggled to her feet and hurried to the door and opened it, half hanging off the door.  Nico stood staring up at the door that kept him from his Mama-Afi, the guards were trying to usher him back down the hall and eventually outside.

"Come one Nico, love."  She held out one hand to the colt.

Not needing a second invitation he bolted towards her, sending her tumbling to the ground with his impact.

"What on earth…?"  Jisa trailed off as Nico rubbed his head on her chest.

"Great Gods, my head is killing me."  Afiona bit out as she cradled her head in her hands.

_:Mama-Afi, you not go away!:  Nico ordered as he pressed himself against her._

"Nico, Mama-Afi's head hurts."  Lance tried to soothe him.

Nico stared at him in confusion.

"It's alright."  Afiona sat up and draped an arm over his thin shoulders.  "I'm just fine."

Nico cuddled against her, and stared up at the strangers.

_:Remember, Lance is grandma's Chosen.:  Afiona reminded him.  __:And those two are his friends.:_

"I better get back to my room.  Nico needs to get some sleep."  She struggled to her feet and started slowly to the door.

"Sleep here, you are in no shape to go anywhere."  King Treven insisted firmly.  "Jisa is right, you are obvious exhausted and I bet no little of that has to do with your little friend."

She started to protest but the concern from Lance and the others was enough to convince her to give in.  "Very well."

In moments blankets were gathered and she found herself and Nico bundled up and placed in a corner.  The royal couple dressed and left to discus her revelations, leaving her in Lance's tender care.

Nico was fast asleep when Lance brought her a mug of painkilling tea.

"Should I send someone to tell Medren not to expect you back?" 

"No, he is bunking with Stefen tonight, they are leaving in the morning."  She grimaced as she sipped the tea.

"To bad he couldn't stay longer."

"I am the one chasing them out the gates.  Stefen needs a break."  She admitted.  "Why are you jealous?"

"What do you mean?"  Lance said with no infliction in his voice.

"I am an empath and it costs too much in energy to keep shields right now."  She managed to down the last of the tea.  "Blessings, that is awful."

"How did she die?"  Lance asked softly, changing the subject.

"I stopped her heart."  She admitted.  "She didn't deserve to live through what they had planned."

"She was my student.  She got her Whites only a year ago."  Lance confessed.

"I'm sorry."  Afiona said simply.

"I'm keeping you awake."  Lance stood and picked up the discarded mug.

"You aren't."  Afiona assured him as she crept further under the blankets, resting her head on her arm.

She was asleep before he could respond.

~ * ~

The sun had barely crept over the horizon but Nico was awake and eager to play.  The sound of his hooves on the stone as he explored the room, waiting for Afiona to wake, summoned Lance, who was still standing guard.

"Nico, you should be sleeping."  Lance whispered, this time remembering to broadcast in mindspeech as well.

_:Play?:  Nico asked eagerly as he pranced towards Lance._

_:We have to be quiet.  Mama-Afi needs to sleep.:  Lance scratched the colt's ears._

_:See if he is willing to come outside.  I will play with him.:  Lance's Companion, Carmia, suggested.  _

_:Go see Grandma?:  Lance suggested._

_:Grandma come in too?:  Nico asked, stepping closer to Afiona._

_:No.  Grandma is too big.:_

Nico looked thoughtful.  _:I stay.  Mama-Afi play.:_

Lance sat on a couch.  _:Mama-Afi is tired.  She needs to sleep.:_

"Our little guest is up already?"  Treven commented as he entered the sitting room.  "Why is she raising him?"

"I am not sure.  Another great Companion secret."  Lance shrugged.

_:Play?:  Nico looked up at the king.  __:Hide and seek!:_

Before they could say no he scampered off to hide behind a chair.

_:Find Nico!:_

"His energy is exhausting."  Treven whispered and sat down.  _:Are you hungry?:_

Nico stuck his head around the chair.  _:Hungry.:_

_:Let's go eat.:  Treven stood and beckoned the Companion to follow him.  __:Lance will watch your Mama.:_

_:Mama-Afi sleeping.:  Nico hesitated before following Treven outside._

Lance waited until Nico was gone before he stood and crossed the room to Afiona.  He gently tucked the blankets around her and watched her for a long moment.

_:Stop staring.:  Carmia interrupted.  __:She doesn't need a lovesick Herald stalking her.:_

Sighing he stood.  _:Why did a Companion bring her here?  Has she been Chosen?:  _

_:No.  Bardaric hasn't Chosen yet.  He is nearly as old as I am and I think he is starting to despair.:  Carmia sighed.  __:He is Nico's father so I think he has decided to try and take some of the load off of her.: _

"Good morning."  Afiona said sleepily, making him jump.

"Treven just took Nico out for breakfast."  Lance assured her.

"I know.  I was awake.  Well, at least a little."  She yawned and rolled on to her back and pulled the blankets tighter around her.  "Tell him thanks when he comes back."

"Are you getting up?"

"Unlike Heralds, we Healers firmly believe that sleeping in occasionally is good for the soul.  Speaking of sleep, shouldn't you get to bed?"

Lance gave into temptation and sat next to her.  "Not yet."

Afiona finally opened her eyes.  Shadows were still evident under her eyes.  She studied his face thoughtfully.  "I can Feel you again."

"Why don't you put your shields back up?"  He asked uncomfortably.

"Medren is my closest friend and for the longest time he was my guardian.  Occasionally we have been lovers but not because we are in love."  She blushed a glowing red.  "I…like the intimacy."

 Lance flushed.  "What ever you saw, just remember, they are just thoughts."

"I know.  I am sorry to ask this, but could you make some more of that tea?  My head feels ready to burst."

"No problem.  I even have honey to sweeten it this time."  He strode to the teapot of hot water that had been left on the hearth and added some of the tealeaves.  "We sent word to the Healers that you were called away on an emergency and we are keeping you for the time being."

"I doubt they would have worried.  I have only a few patients to deal with, a dog with a broken spine and an ornery Companion."

"You need to eat something, any preferences?"  Lance asked as he let the tea steep.  

"Something sugary would be best."

"Candied fruit?  May as well as take advantage of being the King's guest."  Lance suggested.

"Good enough."

~ * ~

Medren poked his head in the empty room, surprised to find only Demon sleeping in the tumbled blankets.  

"Odd."  He muttered.  

"Maybe she has taken Nico to nurse.  Her life is ruled by him."  Stefen pointed out.

"She would have left a note."  Medren said confidently.

"Are you looking for Healer Afiona?"  A young voice asked from the gate behind them.  A girl loaded down with many books shifted her load impatiently.  "She's with some Herald.  Some emergency came up and the Heralds are keeping her until she is able to return.  I think that means she has used so much energy she collapsed."

"What Herald?"  Medren asked with concern, ready to hunt her down and discover the source of the emergency.

"Herald Lance I think.  They said not to worry, it is nothing a little sleep wouldn't cure.  I have to go."

"Are you going to hunt her down?"  Stefen asked, he was obviously worried too.

"No.  Lance won't let any harm come to her."  Medren relaxed somewhat.  "Nico is probably her emergency.  She looked like the walking dead yesterday so she must be desperate for sleep."

"So you don't want to wake her."  Stefen said, still confused.

"Not just that, I like Lance and he is completely in love with her."  Medren grinned mischievously.  

"Matchmaking again?"  Stefen said tiredly."

"Just hoping for the best."  Medren corrected.  "I'll send her a note from Brightcreek, she will understand."


	14. Chapter 14

- Chapter 14 -

Afiona pulled her cloak close against the nipping fall breeze.  Nico, now large for his age at four months, cavorted happily ahead of her.

"He's beautiful."  Lance commented needlessly.

"And he knows it."  She answered as the colt stopped to scent the air as his father often did.  "Bardaric, his father, seems depressed about something."

"He is twenty and has not yet Chosen.  Most Companions choose when they are ten or in their early teens."  Lance pointed out.

"I know.  But it seems more than that."  Afiona's brow creased in concentration.  "He seems like an old soul to me.  Weary and in need of a rest."

"While Nico is with the others this afternoon, would you care to join me for supper?"  Lance asked nonchalantly changing the subject from the frolicking colt that always seemed to absorb her full attention.

"No.  Thank you though.  I have work that needs to be done."  She responded without looking at him.  "Carsir has a vertical crack in his left foreleg from taking a jump wrong and Hanile is nearly due."

"The same excuse as yesterday."  Lance sighed.

"And it will be the same tomorrow."  Afiona warned, as she always did, it had become something of a routine with them.

"If you aren't interested in an amorous supper, why don't you join me at the Bell and Harp in the city?  You haven't left the palace in years.  It will be perfect for getting Nico used to spending the night with his father.  Besides, I am leaving in a few days and then who will you have to chat with?"

Afiona scowled slightly at the reminder of his impending departure.  He was being sent to the southern border to teach the guard there to fight as a unit in case the attack came earlier than anticipated.  "Daric already sleeps outside our door so I don't have to get up when Nico needs out.  He is still afraid of the dark.  I don't want to impose on him further."

"Nico is his son so it is hardly imposing."  Lance countered

_:Go with him.  You won't be imposing.  Your Lance is right, if you want any freedom you have to show him that sometimes you go away and leave him with others but that you always return.:  Bardaric offered suddenly._

Afiona stared at the Companion for several seconds.  He rarely spoke to her but every time he did she sensed regret.  "Very well, I will join you, but not too late."

"Wonderful.  And don't wear a uniform."

"I don't have much else."  Afiona warned.

"I am sure you will find something."  Lance assured her with a triumphant smile.

Afiona glanced at him, slightly irritated.  "How close will you get to Karse?"

"I am not sure."  Lance said evasively and quickly changed the subject.  "Do you ever wonder who he'll Choose?"

Afiona allowed the change, pushing for an answer would only give him the wrong idea.  "Of course I do.  But that is at least ten years away.  In just a few months he will be joining the rest of the Companions in the field."

"I doubt it.  Companion foals are dependant on there mothers for the first few years, not just for food but for guidance.  Like human babies are."

"Lance, I never had parents, I am going to make some mistake, I know it."  She blurted it out and quickly turned away so he wouldn't see her desperation and doubt.

"Nonsense."  Lance said confidently.  He was certain he was the only one who saw her doubts, but normally she wasn't so hard on herself.  "You have been doing wonderfully so far.  Nico is bright, eager, happy, and loved, Carmia says she can think of no one better than you to raise her grandson."

"You aren't just saying that, are you?"  She asked, desperate for some proof she was doing the right thing.

"You are the Empath, you would know if I was just saying that to please you."  Lance retorted.

_:Mama-Afi.:  Nico returned and nuzzled her chest, assuring himself she was still there before trotting off again._

"I have to get back to the salle.  I'll pick you up later."  Lance favoured her with an almost rakish grin.

Afiona watched as he strode off.  It was hard to watch another friend ride out the gates.

She was looking forward to spending winter with Tashir.  Hopefully the doubts that had plagued her since she earned her Greens wouldn't follow.

"Afiona!"  A long missed, male haled her.

"Medren, you finally found your way back I see."  She forced a smile onto her face and waved back to him.

Nico eyed the unremembered stranger warily.  _:Who?:_

_:That is Medren.  He's a story teller.:_

_:Stories?:  Nico's ears pricked up._

"You still look exhausted."  Medren caught her up in a fierce hug, pulling her feet completely off the ground.  "How's your son?"

"Begging for a story."  Afiona answered as she returned his embrace.  "How is Bard Stefen?"

"Much better, I don't know what you did but he is more like his old self now than anytime I have seen him since Vanyel died."

"I did nothing."  Afiona assured him.  "Now put me down."

Medren set her on the ground and he was promptly bowled over by Nico.

"Nicodimus!"  Afiona said sharply, catching the colt's attention.

Nico backed off, his ears flipped back against his head.  _:Sorry.:_

"For what?"  Afiona pressed.  Nico was often uncertain exactly what he did wrong when he sent people tumbling.

_:For knocking over story-man.:  Nico answered._

_:You are larger than they are, Nico, you have to be careful or you will hurt them.:  Daric added forcefully._

Nico looked at Medren with concern.  _:Hurt?:_

"Are you hurt?"  Afiona relayed.

"I just had the wind knocked out of me."  Medren assured them as he regained his feet.  "What was that for?"

"He forgets his size, he was just greeting you."  Afiona explained.  "Why don't we go inside where we can catch up in warmth?"

Medren started towards the House of Healing before she could tell him of her change of residence.

"I now live in the Heraldic wing so everything is more convenient for Nico."  Afiona explained as she started off in a different direction.  "So, was the north as bad this time as last?"

"No, apparently I was caught in a really nasty winter last time."  Medren explained with a chuckle.  "Apparently their weather is cold but not normally that bad."

"You plan on going back?"  Afiona looped her arm through his.

"The money was good, but I am looking forward to going back to Forst Reach."

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you are such a homebody."  She teased.  

"So how are you and Lance getting along?  I noticed you were together."

"We are friends.  He wants more."

"And you want…"

"I don't know."  Afiona said with obvious exasperation.  "Almost everyday he tries to convince me to join him for a private supper and everyday I say no."

"Why not?"

"I barely know him!"

"Afi, you are an empath, you know him better than his mother does."

"He thinks he is in love with me."  Afiona snapped.

"Thinks?"  Medren repeated.

_:Mama-Afi?  What wrong?:  Nico looked up at her, confused._

"Nothing's wrong, honey."  She quickly reassured Nico, her voice soothing.

Daric touched his son's neck with his muzzle and the colt reluctantly followed him back out into the Field.  _:I be back Mama-Afi!:_

_:I know.:  She assured him.  "Sorry, he understands most human speech now."_

"No problem.  Now, what do you mean Lance thinks he is in love with you?"

"Just that."

"I just said it, you are an empath, you don't Feel people's thoughts, you Feel their feelings.  If you are sensing he is in love with you, he is."

Afiona sighed.  "I don't want him to be."

"Care to explain why?"  He held open her door and allowed her to precede him inside.

"No.  I don't care to explain.  I am not even sure myself."  Afiona threw herself into her chair.  "I barely know which way is up now."

Medren took the chair closest to her and watched her with obvious concern.  There was a distinctly fragile quality about her, it reminded him of when she was a silent creature flitting from shadow to shadow.  

"I just don't know anything anymore.  I am barely a healer, I am not a mother, I don't even feel real."

Medren rubbed her arm at a loss for words.

"I have been considering giving up my Greens."  She said softly.  "I _can't work with humans, they get too close.  If I can't heal I am not worthy of being called a healer."_

The last few words were broken by a sob as she finally lost her composure.  Medren wordlessly gathered her close and tried to soothe her.

~ * ~

Lance was feeling triumphant as he made his way to Afiona's room.  She had finally agreed to spend time alone with him with no one else around.  Unless one counted a tavern full of people.

He knocked on her door and waited impatiently for her to answer.

When a dishevelled Medren opened the door, Lance could only stare.

"Oh, uh, she's in bed."  Medren gestured to the room behind him.

"No matter.  I'll see her later."  Lance managed a smile and quickly retreated.

Medren closed the door immediately and returned to Afiona's side.  The mindhealer had warned him that Afiona had been unable to deal with many of the issues from her childhood and that they would probably return to haunt her when she least expected it.

The strain of raising Nico piled on top of her other doubts and insecurities must have been too much.  He had been forced to use his Gift in a manner he had never tried before and sent her to sleep.  

Medren knew she should deal with this now, but how could she?  As an Empath she knew how the other Healers felt about her apparent choice not to heal humans.  As a product of a horrid childhood she felt she was hopeless as a parent.  Medren knew she had long considered herself unable to love, often citing that one must know love to give love.  

But what the hell was he supposed to do about it?

As far as Medren could tell Afiona was still expecting the next blow to fall, decades after she was freed from her family.

She didn't trust that Lance wouldn't turn on her.  She didn't trust her patients not to abuse the closeness a healing bond required.  She didn't trust herself to love Nico as she should.  She trusted nothing and no one, most certainly not herself, and on some levels didn't even trust Medren.

For years she has appeared to be completely in control, the frightened girl hidden behind a façade constructed to protect herself.

He hadn't suspected the doubts that bothered her.

He ran his had through his hair mussing it further and started to pace the room.  It was as sparsely decorated as her room at the Healers had been.  Her bed was still a collection of mattresses in one corner.  Demon, a permanent fixture of whatever room she occupied, was curled next to her side.  The floor was bare of all coverings since Nico's hooves would just damage them.  One chair was pressed against the wall, next to a nearly bare bookcase and a small table holding an oil lamp.

"Stop pacing."  Afiona ordered as she sat up.  Her eyes were still shadowed but she didn't look quite as fragile.  "What did you do?"

"I used my bardic gift to make you sleep, kind of like humming a lullaby and putting some force behind it."  Medren admitted.  "How are you feeling?"

"Well enough."  She disentangled herself from Demon and brushed the wrinkles out of her robes.  

"Liar."  Medren accused.  "How long have you been considering giving up your greens?"

"Seriously?  Since I earned them."  Afiona admitted.  "I _know_ they think I am unworthy of them.  I can sense it every time I am around one of the other healers."

"All the Healers?"  Medren asked, doubtful.

"Yes.  To some extent or another.  Even the others who prefer to work on animals think I am wasting my abilities."

"Have you explained to them?"  Medren asked.

"Medren, if they knew everything they would not let me keep my greens.  And that isn't speculation.  They would say that I lack the stability a healer needs.  The mind healer wanted to recommend against me being accepted but can't without breaking confidentiality."

"Why didn't you tell me?"  Medren demanded.

"Because I need to do this myself!  I can't keep running to you every time I am scared or uncertain."

"That doesn't mean you have to do everything alone."  Medren protested.

"I am not doing everything alone, Daric helps with Nico as much as he can."

"And Lance?  What has he been doing?"

Afiona blushed and turned away.  "Every time I turn around he is there.  He brings me supper when he finds out I haven't eaten.  He now comes help with the wounded Companions.  Every day he tries to get me to have a romantic dinner with him."

Medren eyed her fierce blush.  "Why don't you accept?"

Afiona grew redder.  "I almost did today.  I agreed to go to the Bell and Harp with him."

"That's why he looked like murder."  Medren said with sudden clarity.

Afiona spun to face him.  "He was already here?"

"About half a candlemark ago."  Medren admitted.

Afiona ran her hand through her hair and stared at the door.

Medren bit back a laugh.  Afiona may know everyone else's feelings but she certainly didn't know her own.  It was obvious she was preening just at the thought of seeing him.  

"What are you grinning at?"  Afiona asked.

"Nothing, you should go catch up with him."  Medren suggested.  "I am going to find some supper.  See you tomorrow."

Afiona stared after him as he left, closing the door firmly behind him.

Sometimes he was incredibly hard to read.  He was very pleased about something that much was obvious, but why?

She stared after him for a moment before she shook off her reverie.  She had no intention of standing Lance up.

She managed to locate one of the dresses Lady Treesa had made for her just a month before.  Lady Treesa saw her lack of a wardrobe as a challenge had had bribed a maid to slip three new gowns into Afiona's wardrobe.  Afiona chose a cream coloured, gown with blue ribbons, brushed her hair, and ran out the door.  

She hoped he returned to his room otherwise she would be searching all night for him.

_:He is in the Salle.:_  Daric's sudden comment made her jump.

_:Thank you.:_  She said after her heart slowed and changed direction.

The salle was empty except for Lance.  He was seated with his back against the wall, a sword resting across his lap as he stared at it as if he was uncertain what it was.

Afiona could sense his feeling of being betrayed from the doorway.  He wasn't aware of her presence yet.  She watched him for a moment, guilt over missing him earlier welled up with in her.  No doubt Medren had given him the wrong impression.

"Did you still want to go?"  She asked, making him jump.

"I thought…"

"That I was busy with Medren, hardly."  She promised to wreak vengeance on Medren at the first opportunity.  "He just got back in today."

"He said you were in bed."

"Not with him I wasn't."  She assured him and took a seat next to him.  "No need to get jealous."

Lance searched her face for a minute before offering her his arm.  "You look beautiful."

Afiona blushed and accepted his arm.  "Thank you.  So do you, only handsome.  It isn't too late, is it?"

"Carmia says she'll get us there long before closing."  Lance promised. 


	15. Chapter 15

-Chapter 15-

Nico watched his Mama-Afi pace the nearly bare room he shared with her.  He knew something was bothering her.  Was it story-man Medren?  Didn't she like stories?  

Afiona stopped next to him.  "I can hear you thinking, sweetie."

_:Mama-Afi not happy?:_

_:I am happy to be with you.:_  She assured him.  He felt a glow of pleasure knowing he had made her happy.  

_:Play?:_  Nico struggled to his feet, his ears perked up happily.

_:Mama needs to think for a little while.:_

_:Boring.:_  Nico said with disgust.

_:Even if I am thinking up new stories for you?:_  She asked.

Nico cocked his head to the side and eyed her for a moment.  _:Stories is good.  Stories about Nico?:_

_:Perhaps one.:_  Afiona chuckled.  _:Just for you.:_

_:One about Nico and the barn cat?:_

_:What would Nico do with the Barn cat?:  _Afiona prodded.

_:I would pretend to be a little mouse so the cat would try and catch me.:_  Nico scurried around the room in an imitation of a mouse.  _:And then, as she jumps, I go 'boo' and she see I am not a mouse.:_

Afiona laughed.  _:Not a very smart cat, is she?:_

_:No.  She would think I am a mouse.:_  Nico's nose wrinkled in amusement.

Afiona laughed and scratched his ears just how he liked.  _:A very white mouse.:_

Standing she resumed her pacing.

_:Nico, are you coming out?:_  A young, female voice beckoned.  _:We can play Chase.:_

_:Mama-Afi!  Can I go play with Aria?:  _Nico asked eagerly.

Afiona opened the door for him.  Outside a filly about a year older than Nico was waiting.  Aria had taken to playing with Nico at least once a day.  Afiona knew she could count on Aria's mother to watch both foals while they played.

_:Stay away from the river.  The water is cold.:_  Afiona warned.  _:And be back before dark!:_

The white figures ignored her as they took off running.

_:Ah, to be a child again.:_  Daric commented, making her jump.

"Is something wrong?"  She asked.

_:No.  I was just coming to see if you needed a break from Nico.  And to hear how your outing with Lance went.:_

Afiona sighed and leaned against the doorway.  "It was nice.  We talked until closing.  I am going to miss him."

_:He will miss you too.:  _Daric pointed out.

Afiona rested her head against the door jam.  "At least I will have time to get my head straight before facing him again."

_:Oh, how so?:_  Daric asked, obviously confused.

"Yesterday I turned into a bloody watering pot on Medren.  Hardly the welcome he deserved.  The Healers expected me to resume full duty by now and have been hinting that I am taking advantage of the situation.  Lance keeps trying to get closer and I am not sure if I want him too.  All told, I think I need to have a seat and examine my priorities."

_:So Healing, Nico, and Lance?:_

"And everything else."  Afiona rubbed her forehead trying to easy the headache that had taken up residence behind her eyes.  "It keeps feeling like it is going to drag me under."

Daric brushed her arm with his nose in a gesture of reassurance.  _:What is the worst of the problems?  Perhaps a fresh perspective will help.:_

"The Healers."  Afiona answered promptly.  "Since before I got my Greens they have been trying to convince me to work on humans.  At first they kept saying I would find it more rewarding to have patients that can thank me.  Then they started saying I was wasting my potential.  Now some say, and feel, I am a disgrace to the uniform and selfish."

_:So what can you do?:  Daric prodded._

"I disregard their preferences and take a post in Baires-Lineas where they are short of Healers.  I could surrender my greens and find some other way to live.  However, there is a war coming."

_:It is hard for a Healer to stop Healing.:  Daric commented._

"I was also offered a position at the Rethwellan court caring for the royal menagerie."  Afiona said quietly.

_:When was this?:  Daric stared at her, surprised._

"A few months after I got my Greens I received a letter with the Rethwellan Royal seal promising a fortune to come care for Queen Lythiaren's exotic animals.  Apparently her ambassador heard of me."  Afiona explained.

_:Does anyone else know this?:  Daric said, alarmed at this bit of information._

"Daric, I am hardly a social butterfly, who would I tell?"  Afiona pointed out, a slight touch of bitterness coloured her voice.

The Companion looked thoughtful for a moment.  _:Perhaps if they thought you were going to leave they would back off.:_

"Or shove me out the gate."  Afiona grumbled.

Daric snorted in derision.  _:The Heralds would not allow that.  You are the best at caring for Companions.  If we had our way you would be assigned permanently to us.:_

Afiona looked thoughtful for a moment.  "I think I may have a solution then."

~ * ~

Afiona did not sit as she waited for a chance to see Geina.  She wore her best robes with her hair pulled back in a tight knot, only a few tendrils escaped to trail down the nape of her neck.

She was staring out the window, her hands clasped behind her back when the door opened.

"Afiona, please come in."  Geina invited.  Her shrewd gaze taking in the care Afiona had used in preparing for this interview and felt a sense of dread.

"Thank you."  Afiona stepped past her into the cramped office and waited for Geina to take a seat before she sat.

"I assume you want to resume your duties."

"No, actually."  Afiona said confidently.  "These past few months have made it clear to me that as a group we are failing to serve all our patients to the best of our abilities."

"We have told you many times that you have been wasting your talents on just working with animals."  Geina started. 

"That isn't what I meant.  I meant that you and those above you have been assigning Healers with very little power to the Companions who treat them like they are horses, which has been resulting in a higher mortality rate and more permanent injuries.  I am requesting to be assigned to the Companions full time and if I am denied I am willing to surrender my greens and serve them as a civilian."

Geina gaped at the confidant young woman who refused to look away.  "You can't quit!"

Afiona leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.  "I sure as hell can.  You do not own me and neither does the House of Healing.  Companions need someone who is very familiar with their physiology and if the only way I can fill that need is by giving up my Greens, so be it.  I have made it clear since the moment I was accepted for training that I would not work with humans unless it was an emergency.  When the Heralds go south, I will go with them."

"You can't just choose your posting!"  Geina sputtered.

Afiona stood and flicked the hidden clasp holding up her robes and shed them like a snake shedding a skin.  "If that is how you feel, I quit."  She left the robes on the desk and stalked out.  Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it.  Daric and Nico were waiting in the courtyard when she emerged.

_:I assume it didn't go well.:  Daric commented on her lack of robes._

Afiona shrugged.  "Depends on how you look at it.  Now I will have more time to devote to the Companions and Nico."

_:We never wanted you to sacrifice being a Healer to help us.:  Daric looked genuinely remorseful._

"Let's face, I was never completely a Healer in the first place."  Afiona untied the ribbon holding her hair in place and let it fall down her back.  "Nico, do you mind staying with Papa for a little bit?  I want to take Whisper out for a ride."

_:I come too!:  Nico offered._

_:We could ask Tavers for a story.:  Daric pointed out._

_:I go with papa.:  Nico changed his mind quickly._

Afiona watched them for a moment as they made their way to the field.  Daric was one of the most confusing creatures she had ever met, and for an empath that was saying a lot.  He was actually happy she was no longer a Healer but felt guilty for being happy.

In the stable a chorus of neighs greeted her.  Whisper waited patiently as she returned the greetings.  When she finally reached the warhorse the mare eyed her for one long moment.

_:No Colt?:_

_:He is with the Stud.:  Afiona explained._

_:Stud, with Colt?:  Whisper had met Daric and knew Nico quite well but she always thought of them as the Stud and the Colt.  __:Stud hurt Colt.:  The mare warned._

_:No, this stud won't.:  Afiona opened her door and let her follow as she made her way to the tack room to gather Whisper's tack.  Despite the horse's massive strength Afiona used only a mild bit on the mare and a light saddle.  She was also trying to train the mare to lie down on command and allow her to haul an injured person up onto her back.  So far, if the person was conscious, she could do it from the saddle it just seconds and Whisper could carry them to safety.  She doubted Medren actually thought she would ride the mare into the heart of the battle.  But she had no intention of just sitting on the side waiting._

Would she even be near the front now?

Afiona saddled the mare briskly and led her outside.  The weak autumn sun did not warm the day and the wind cut through her clothes like a sword through butter but she didn't want to go inside to collect a cloak.

She wanted to feel the wind on her skin as Whisper ran.  For just one moment for their to be nothing but sky, ground, horse, and rider.

Instead of turning the mare towards the field she headed towards the Palace Gate.  Lance was right, she had been spending all her time on the palace grounds.  The Guards nodded to her and waved her past.  She only knew one route out of the city and followed it until she reached the outer gates.  Whisper was tossing her head and scenting the wind with each step.  Her desire to run was infectious.

Afiona held her to a trot for a moment before she leaned forward and gave the mare her head.

Whisper was focused completely on her run, her heart pounding in time with her hooves.

Afiona allowed the horse's euphoria to engulf her, relying on Whisper to keep them safe.

She was shivering from the cold wind when the mare finally slowed, horse sweat stained her clothing and the mare's sides were heaving.  

_:Good run?:  Afiona stroked her neck and turned her back towards Haven.  _

_:Fast run.  Good run.:  Whisper agreed.  She was not as tired as most horses would be from the run.  She curvetted and pranced occasionally, sensing her rider's dark mood._

Afiona kept her hands lax on the reins and stared at the slowly approaching city.  Was she a fool?  Had she made the right choice?  As the doubts filled her she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I am making the right choice.  I am doing the right thing."  She repeated quietly to herself.  Hopefully she would eventually believe it.

A white horse galloped towards her with preternatural speed covering the ground they had just run in a fraction of the time.

Daric slowed to a stop before her, obviously able to run three or four times that distance with out tiring.

"What's wrong?  Is it Nico?"  Afiona asked, panic already creeping up on her.

_:No, everything was alright.  Nico is with Carmia.:  Daric assured her.  _

"Then why are you out here?"  Afiona swung to the ground and surveyed the stallion.  He was obviously in perfect health.  "You have to be careful about galloping on hard surfaces, you don't have a Herald to nurse you back to health."

_:Afiona,:  His supernaturally blue eyes seemed to grow to fill her vision.  _:I choose you.  I have waited knowing a Healer would be in more demand than a Herald when the war does start, but now, I Choose you.:_  An incredible sense of love and welcome flowed into her, pushing her fears and doubts out of her mind. ___

Afiona was shivering when she finally broke the trance, caused both by the cold of the wind and the unreal experience.  Whisper was nudging her back, asking what was wrong.  She spoke the first thing that came to mind, "Why?"

_:Because despite everything you have seen and experienced your soul has remained unbowed.  Because you have cared for all of us as if we were your own flesh and blood, even when it endangered you.  Because you are everything that a Herald should be.  Because I love you.:_

Tears started pouring down her cheeks at the heart felt words.  

She wiped away the tears with her sleeve and flung her arms around his neck.  

_:Another comes.:  Whisper warned as the sound of chiming hoof beats reached her._

Even from this distance she didn't need to be told that it was Jisa and Taver approaching.  His speed put Daric's to shame.

"I guess he didn't have time to tell Nico a story."  Afiona swung back on to Whisper and urged her forward.  She sensed Daric's disappointment in not swinging on to his back.

"Afiona, I'm glad I found you, we thought you might have decided to head to Baires-Lineas."  Jisa and Taver stopped next to her.   

"Why would I do that?"  Afiona asked in genuine confusion.  "I needed to blow some cobwebs out of my head."

"Healer Geina said you just handed over your Greens and took off.  The Healers are worried you are going to do something irrational."

"So they sent you to check on me?"  Afiona asked, she was already getting annoyed with the Healers again.  "I told them I would tend Companions primarily and they didn't approve of my choice so I gave up my greens, I planned on tending them still though."

"They refused your resignation."  Jisa warned.  "I will make certain they allow you to tend Companions, Taver tells me that the Companions agree you should."

Afiona opened her mouth to protest that she was now Chosen and it didn't matter and looked down at Daric. 

_:Don't, all Healers are going to be needed.:  Daric stopped her._

_:Just because I am a Herald doesn't mean I will stop being a Healer.:  Afiona insisted.  _

Jisa watched her, sensing the silent struggle.

_:I am not giving you up.  If they know you are a Herald they will send you to the front where you will be expected to fight, remain a Healer and you can do more good.:  Daric urged._

_:So long as I don't lose you.:  Afiona agreed.  "They will stop trying to get me to heal Humans?  And I can keep the room among the Heralds?"_

"I'll see to it personally.  I can tell there is some darkness connected to humans for you."  Jisa studied her face intently.  "Care to tell me why?"

Afiona started to shake her head.

_:She won't tell a soul, not even Treven.:  Daric assured her._

Afiona pulled up her sleeve and turned her arm face up.  Among the scattering of other scars were nearly fifty tiny lines, barely the width of her thumb on her lower arm.  They were in ten rows and obviously caused deliberately.  "I was three when I got those.  My father need to raise some power for some arcane purpose and as along I didn't die and the wounds weren't visible my mothers family didn't care what happened to me."

Jisa took her wrist and examined the old scars.  "Oh, gods, who was your father?"

"I'd rather not discuss it."  Afiona pulled her arm free and pulled her sleeve down.

Jisa's eyes filled with pity.  "And you still can't bear to be close to humans?"

"I am trying."  Afiona stared at her arm.  "That happened two decades ago but I still remember it like it was yesterday."

"The early wounds are the hardest to heal from."  Jisa agreed.  "If you ever need to talk, come to me.  I won't tell anyone about your father."

Afiona met her gaze for a moment before nodding.  "I might do that someday."


	16. Chapter 16

-Chapter 16-

Lance knocked on Afiona's door, hoping she was within.  She had been the talk of the Collegia all day.  The rumor was she had threatened to surrender her Greens if she wasn't permanently assigned to work with the Companions.  Some even said she did give up her robes but that the Healers begged her to take them up again.

Afiona opened her door, dressed in only an enveloping towel that left only her calves, shoulders, and arms bare.  "I was just about to have a bath, is anything wrong?"

"No, I just wanted to find out if the rumors were true."  Lance stared at her like a love struck swain.

"That I threatened to leave the Healers if they wouldn't assign me to the Companions?  That is true.  That I actually quit is true.  They sent Jisa to convince me to recant."

"And you did?"  Lance asked curiously.

"I did."  Afiona looked back over her shoulder at the steaming tub.  Daric had Nico so she could enjoy a long, hot bath.  If Lance remained much longer she would be lucky to get a lukewarm bath.  "Can we continue this later?"

"Over supper?"  Lance asked hopefully.

"No."  Afiona said once more.

"Actually, I have classes straight through until supper and then I have to pack."  Lance admitted.

"Right, you leave the day after tomorrow."  She sighed.  "I'll stop by later this evening then.  We can talk while you pack."

"Or I could come in and scrub your back."  He offered with a grin.

"Nice try Lance."  She glowered at him.  "I'll see you later."  She closed the door forcefully and turned back to her bath.  It was all ready scented with oils and was still steaming as she slipped into the hot water.  Next to the tub a fire burned in her fireplace, the only source of illumination.

The spicy scent put her in mind of exotic places and was one of her favourite scents.  Scented oils were one of her secret luxuries.  

She kept her hair piled on top of her head so as to avoid getting oil in it was well.  She almost missed Nico splashing in her bath water, causing a sodden mess; the other reason she had no carpet in her room.

She was just starting to relax when a pre-emptory knock called her back to reality seconds before Medren pushed the door open.

"Why are you in the dark?"  Medren asked as he looked around the room, finally locating her in the tub.

"Out!"  Afiona sank lower in the water.

"What?  In case you have forgotten I have actually bathed you."  Medren moved to sit down on her lone chair.  "What's this about quitting the Healers?"

Afiona growled, leaned over the side of her tub, and located a vial of oil.  "Out, now!"  She hurled it at him.  The fragile vial broke and the delicate smell of lilacs filled the air.

Medren stared at her for several seconds before sniffing his tunic.  "I stink like a flower!"

"I am going to throw a rose one at you next."  Afiona located another small vial and made ready to heave her tiny weapon. 

"No need, I got the hint!"  Medren beat a hasty retreat, still trying to dab off the reek of flowers.

_:Remind me not to disturb you in the bath.:_  Daric commented, causing her to jump, sloshing water over the side and onto the floor.  

"Try that again and you will smell like roses!"  Afiona threatened.  "Unless it is an emergency, don't bother me in the bath!"

~ * ~

Lance had his bags packed when Afiona arrived.  He had never entertained her in his rooms before; she had always refused any invitation he offered so he was surprised she said she would come to his rooms to talk. 

Trying to court her had been phenomenally frustrating.

Afiona's hesitant knock betrayed her nervousness even before the door was opened.  She was dressed in the same demure cream gown that she had worn the night before with the long sleeves and high neck.  Nico was standing next to her, looking up impatiently.

_:The only house trained Companion.:_  Lance commented irreverently to his Companion.

_:Considering no human baby would be trained so young Nico is proving to be an incredibly quick learner.:_  Carmia answered tartly.  She was very proud of her grandson.

"Am I too early?"  Afiona asked.

"No, I just finished packing."  He gestured for her to take a seat on of two over stuffed chairs flanking the fireplace.  They were ugly but comfortable.

Nico proceeded to explore the room, looking for butterflies, cats, and who knew what else in corners.

"Do you have a med-kit?"  Afiona looked over at his stuffed saddlebags.  "In case something happens on the way down?"

"First thing I packed."  Lance assured her.

"And a kit for your Companion?"  Afiona pressed.  

He shook his head.  "I don't think there is one."

Afiona scowled.  "I'll see that you have one before you leave.  Your Companions have been far too lax with their own care."

_:Really love, we heal quickly and our Herald's are more important.:_  Daric protested.

:You are still mortal, you can still suffer permanent damage, you can be killed, and if you die your Herald dies.  A Herald is only as mobile as their Companion.:  She responded fiercely.  "You should have Weris Seeds to keep her from getting pregnant down there, that would be inconvenient to say the least.  And you should definitely have some wirth root to supplement her rations, the military rations rarely have enough vitamins for a Companion, at least with the amount she will be allocated, thankfully that grows next to most road sides in the south."

"Afiona, I got it, I am woefully under-prepared for a trip through friendly land."  Lance said teasingly.

"I am not joking."  Afiona said seriously.  "Speaking as your Carmia's Healer, you should have thought of this yourself."  She sighed and rubbed her forehead.  "Never mind, I have had a nasty day, that's all.  It seems my mouth runs away with me every time I get tired."

"Beyond threatening to leave the Healers, what happened?"  Lance asked with concern as he took a seat across from her.

Afiona looked over at Nico, who was investigating Lance's bed, he had never seen a true bed before.  He would be occupied for sometime.  "My problem with the other Healers has been going on for sometime.  Most feel I am wasting my abilities, and you know how Healers are about wasting one's abilities."

"Why haven't you said anything?"  Lance asked.

"Why?  When they are right?  I could do a great deal of good if I could heal humans."  She stared at the small fire in his hearth.  "Do you know how close I have to let them to heal them?"

"No."  Lance asked honestly.

"It doesn't matter."  Afiona straightened in her chair and brushed her hair from her face.  "I have a strange question for you.  In a war, which is more critical, a Healer or a Herald?"

Lance's brow creased.  "I don't know.  Heralds are needed for communication and sometimes as war leaders.  We are Valdemar's best weapons.  We can pass orders down the line in seconds, completely silent, while the enemy is still tooting his horn.  But Healers are the ones who get us back on our feet and back onto the field when we are injured."

"And considering your garb that is rather regularly."  Afiona teased, the brief glimpse of her dark mood gone.  

"Heralds also give us a tactical advantage with Farsight and Foresight letting us see what the enemy is doing."  Lance continued.  

"But a dead Herald can't stand against an invasion."

"Neither can most living Healers."  Lance countered.  He watched her speculatively for a second.  "Do you have any weapons training or are you like the other Healers and reliant upon your status to protect you."

"No, I have no training."  Afiona admitted.  "If I am on the battle field it won't be as a fighter so what does it matter."

"I should have known.  They aren't going to care why you are on the battlefield; they will only see that you are aiding the enemy, which makes you the enemy."  Lance pointed out.

"I am a Healer, I can do no harm."  Afiona protested.

"Frankly, that is an ideal in my opinion.  In idealistic circumstances you may be able to live by it but not in regular circumstances and certainly not in wartime.  What about how you killed Herald Feri?"  He asked.  

Afiona drummed her fingers on the leather arm of the chair.  "It would be different to take someone's life in the heat of battle.  I would causing the very wounds that, as a Healer, I am supposed to fix."

"If you can't fight to protect yourself, and your patients, you will lose patients and perhaps your life.  Then who would take your place?  Which is more important our men or theirs?"

"They are equally important.  All life is important."

"Afi, when you are on the battle field, which I sincerely hope you never are, who will you be rescuing?  Our men, or theirs?"

"Damn."  Afiona cursed.

:What's a 'battle field'?:  Nico asked, interrupting their conversation.

"Adult stuff."  Afiona assured him.

"What?"  Lance looked perplexed.

"He wants to know what a battle field is."  Afiona explained.

"Definitely adult stuff."  Lance agreed.

Nico's ears fell in disappointment.  :Not like adult stuff.:

Afiona scratched his neck.  :Little boy stuff much more fun.:

His ears perked back up.  :Like Nico stories.:

:Like Nico and the dust bunny?:

:What's a dust bunny?:  Nico asked eagerly.

:A dust bunny is a fluffy ball of dust and hair, they hide under beds.:

Nico's sharp hooves left visible scars on Lance's carpet as he scrambled to look under the bed for dust bunnies causing Afiona to wince.

"Now what is he doing?"  Lance leaned over the arm of his chair to watch Nico try and wiggle under his bed.

"He is looking for dust bunnies."  Afiona explained.  "He has phenomenal curiosity."

"That he does."  Lance chuckled.

"I'll replace your rug."  She said as she eyed the places that his hooves had removed all the wool.

"Don't worry about it.  I am not very attached to it.  It is only so I don't have to step on the cold floor first thing in the morning."

"I understand completely.  I tried having rugs for a while, but with a foal whose bodily functions weren't completely under control it wasn't practical.  Now that it is getting colder I have been reconsidering getting some old carpets so I am not running across a freezing stone floor to my wardrobe every morning."

"There is probably some that border on unusable lying about that you could use.  At least you don't have to resort to straw."  Lance smiled at the image of her dashing across her room.

"I considered it.  But just imagine how fair that straw would travel.  I would be chased out of here inside a week."

Lance chuckled, a rich warm sound.  "I am going to miss you."  He said suddenly.

"I am going to miss you too.  I am a miserable letter writer, just so you are forewarned.  Ask Medren, he always complains my letters never contain any details beyond the date."

"I'll keep that in mind."  Lance said, his voice carried little emotion.

"What is with you men?"  Afiona asked in exasperation.  "You are so jealous of Medren you are nearly as green as my uniforms and he seems to have decided that we are the perfect couple and has been rather unsubtle with his hints."

"He has?"  

"I joined him and Stef for breakfast this morning and he kept asking how we were getting along and how much time we were spending together.  Stef said he acted the same way when Stef and Herald Vanyel got together, taking all the credit for it."  Afiona made a face at her friend's attitude.  "He is a dear friend but he needs to be knocked on his posterior once and a while."

Lance smiled again.  "I think I prefer to have him as an ally."

Afiona quirked an eyebrow.  "Nico and I better get going, he insists on waking early."

:I will watch him tonight.:  Daric offered.

"Is this a conspiracy?"  She snapped, drawing a strange look from Lance.  "Sorry.  Come on Nico, bed time."

The colt squirmed out from under the bed, covered in dust.  :Story?:

"Of course, if we hurry."  She stood and brushed the wrinkles out of her gown absently.

Lance reached the door before she did.  She looked away from his confused gaze.  "What do you mean a conspiracy?"

"Nothing."  She insisted and forced herself to meet his gaze.  She felt her heart skip a beat.  His beautiful eyes were filled with concern.  She strengthened her shield to keep out his emotions.  "Honestly, there is nothing wrong."  

Lance reluctantly opened the door for her.  She didn't wait for him to escort her to her room.  With Nico on her heels she hurried to her room and closed the door firmly behind him.

"Damn it.  Now what did I do?"  Lance asked the empty hallway.

Afiona heard him despite her closed door and a wave of guilt swamped her.  If only he didn't keep trying to get closer.

:Mama-Afi tired?  I'm not tired.:  Nico informed her.  :I got to pee.:

Afiona sighed and led him to the doorway.  Daric waited just beyond the doorway. 

:You should have stayed.:  Daric said as she stepped out into the moonlight.

:That would be unfair to him.:  Afiona rested her forehead against his neck.  

Nico was oblivious to the conversation as he trotted around the small, enclosed garden.

Afiona breathed in the earthy horse-smell of her Companion.  :Gods, keep him safe.:


	17. Chapter 17

-Chapter 17-

Afiona almost didn't see Lance off.  Only Daric and Medren calling her a coward had sent her out that cold grey morning.  She had prepared a Companion med-kit as she had promised and was holding it close to her chest.  Daric had Nico for the day so she didn't have the buffer the colt provided.  To make it worse, her dreams had left her shaken and jumpy and tired.  Once again she had found herself watching out of her brother's eyes as he had revealed his sadistic nature to another woman.  Afiona had been helpless to do anything until his rage was spent, releasing her into the night.

Lance was checking the last straps on Carmia's tack and didn't hear her approach.  She paused for a moment, almost tempted to leave but she could feel Medren's eyes watching her.  He certainly was meddlesome at times.  She pushed the memories of the night to the farthest reaches of her mind and tried to act normal. 

"Do you need anything else?"  Afiona asked, announcing her presence.

Lance stared at her for a few seconds.  "I didn't think you would come."

Afiona stopped a few feet from him.  "I promised to bring you a Companion med-kit.  I wouldn't let me being uncomfortable get in the way of Carmia's health."

"So now I am making you uncomfortable?"  Lance asked, obvious exasperated.

Afiona closed her eyes and steeled herself.  Her old instinct to run flaring up.

"I don't understand you.  First you act like you are interested, then you have a touch-me-not attitude, now I make you uncomfortable."  Lance gestured widely, not noticing Afiona's flinching.  "Why can't you just make up your mind?"

Afiona dropped her bundle and ran, leaving Lance staring after her blankly.

She ran across the bridge, into the Companion's Field, straight for the leafless trees at the far corner.  Her sides were aching when she finally reached a half hidden copse and fell to the earth.  Slowly her panic faded, leaving her feeling frightened and lost.

Tears poured silently down her face as she buried her face in her knees.  

~ * ~

Lance stared at the package she dropped blankly, is if he had never seen the likes before.

_:What__ happened?:_

_:I__ warned you months ago.  She warned you months ago.  Your anger scared her enough to make her panic and flee.:  Carmia said, obviously annoyed with her Chosen.  __:Think_ about it, how badly damaged does a Healer have to be that she can't bear the closeness of the Healing bond, something the others find great solace and balance in?  I have been telling you to wait until _she__ was ready.:_

"Ready for what?"  Lance asked as he picked up the bundle.  Liquid was forming a dark patch on the fabric.  "Something broke when she dropped it."

_:Ready__ for anything.  You saw her scars.:  Carmia levelled a disappointed glare on her Chosen.  __:Those_ were not caused all at once.  They were caused over _three years_ where all she wanted to do was make people love her.  She can barely remember most of those years, only the worst incidences have remained clear.  To make it worse, every time she feels trapped, especially when she is asleep, she uses her Farsight to escape.  Often her own fear will draw her to her brother, who inflicted the worst of the damage.:__

"How do you know all this?"  Lance studied what he could see of the field.

_:I__ know because we made it our business to know who would be raising Nico.:_

"If she is so damaged why did you leave him with her?"

_:Because__ she is the best to train him.:  Carmia said, exasperated._

Lance started toward the field when his parents' voices stopped him.

His mother wore practice armor with her greying brown hair wound up in a knot that could fit under a helm.  His father was clad in a standard Herald's uniform with a book under one arm, his paler hair had receded several inches giving him a rather befuddled look that often caused others to underestimate him.  As the Dean of the Collegium it was often in his favor to be underestimated.  How two such disparate people fell in love often baffled Lance.

"Already to be off?"  His father greeted him with warm grin and a paternal hug.  "Say farewell to your lady yet?'

Lance blushed.  His parent's still hadn't met Afiona.  "Actually you just missed her."

His mother cocked one eyebrow and studied him.  "Did you two fight?  Something's bothering you."

Lance wished his mother wasn't so intuitive.  "We fought, sort of.  I was just going to find her to apologize."

"You should be off."  His mother warned and took the wet bundle from his hands.  "I can relay your apologies."

"I also need to see if she another one of those made."  Lance took the bundle back.  "It's an emergency kit for Companions."

"Really?  What's in it?"  His father eyed it, his endless curiosity obviously peaked. 

Lance reluctantly opened the bundle, almost unwilling to share what ever she had enclosed.  Almost hoping she had tucked a letter in the fabric explaining her odd behaviour.

Two of the carefully packaged glass bottles were broken.  Each of the nearly dozen bottles had been labelled with contents and directions.  Packets of herbs similarly labelled were wrapped in waterproof cloth to prevent them from being spoiled.  No bandages had been included, she must have assumed he would already have them from the standard kit.  He was disappointed nothing personal had been included.

His mother drew out the two broken bottles.  "It says it is a preventive tonic for malnutrition and this one appears to be something to calm her if she is severely injured.  You can replace them when you get down there.  I doubt you need them before then."

Lance glanced one more time towards the field and accepted the kit back.  He tucked them in the saddlebag containing the kit for humans reluctantly and embraced his parents.

"Take care."  His father admonished.

"And make sure you practice against someone who knows what they are doing.  No sense losing your edge."  His mother added.  "I'll talk to your lady, if you fought she probably needs some time to cool down."

"Tell her I am very sorry about everything."  Lance said as he swung into the saddle.

His father chuckled.  "You sound married already."

Carmia cantered smartly out the gates.  _:Give_ her time.  And you can write her.:__

Lance adjusted his grip on her reins and turned his attention to the road ahead.  _:Can_ the other Companions keep an eye on her?:__

_:Of__ course they will.:  Carmia assured him.  __:They__ have kept a close watch on her to date.:_

Some how Lance wasn't reassured.

~ * ~

Afiona's sobs stilled at the approach of strange hoof beats.  Instinctively she tried to draw further into the shadows of the tree but her bright green robes refused to be hidden.

"Who's there?"  A voice called.  "I can feel you all the way from the palace."

Someone dismounted and walked towards her.

Before Afiona could flee again a strange peace fell over her.  

King's Own, Herald Jisa, stepped into the clearing and stared at the obviously distressed Healer.  "My Gods, Afiona.  Are you alright?"  She knelt next to her and touched her cheek, feeling for a temperature.

Afiona flinched away from the simple contact.  "I-I-I'm s-s-sorry."  She managed to sob.

Jisa's expressive face was filled with concern as she pulled Afiona closer so her head rested on her white clad shoulder.  She had Felt a blast of total panic that lasted several minutes followed by overwhelming despair.  She doubted Afiona was even aware of projecting.  Something had frightened the Healer badly, enough for her to react like her life was in danger.

Afiona sobbed brokenly against her.  Horrific images hit Jisa, battering against her shields.

Jisa quickly extended her shields over Afiona to keep others from sensing her.  Taver stepped into the glade.

_:I__ will get Bardaric.  Perhaps he could calm her.:  Taver volunteered.  __:I__ will watch Nico until she is better.  A story should keep him from searching for his mother.:_

_:Thank__ you.  I can't imagine what the poor little thing would make of this.:_

Suddenly Afiona fell limp against her.  It was like she was no longer in the body resting against her.

_:She__ did it again.:  Taver cursed and left._

Jisa manoeuvred her so she was lying flat on her back, her golden brown eyes staring blankly up at the sky.  _:Is__ this a fit of some sort?:_

_:No__, she just fell into a trance.:  Taver assured her._

~ * ~

Afiona suddenly felt no cold or wind.  Jisa was no longer beside her.  Even in her distraught state she knew what happened.

She was still shaking with emotional release as she surveyed her surroundings.  The walls were lit by torched in sconces spaced several metres apart.  In this state she saw the same as if her Healing sight was invoked and the dark, sick, taint crawling over the walls reminded her of a dying patient.

She made no sound as she climbed to her feet.  She started shaking worse than before as her eyes fell on the banner displayed between two torches.  Four dark stains about the size of a finger tip dotted one corner.

_Don't hit me!  The voice seemed to come from the very stones.  __I didn't mean too!_

Afiona pressed herself against the wall.  Her eyes wide.

_I'm sorry!_

_:Stop__ it!:  She screamed but she made no sound._

_What did I do?  The plaintive little voice wailed._

_Does it matter?  An almost golden voice answered._

Afiona pressed her hands against her ears, a useless defence.

_:Afiona__, come back to me, I will keep you safe.:  The voice was warm and familiar and filled with unconditional love._

She found herself back in her body.  Someone was feeling for a pulse.

"What do you mean we can't call the Healers?"  A stressed female demanded.

It took Afiona a moment to place the voice; Herald Jisa.

She was quaking like a leaf again as she opened her eyes.  Several Companions were gathered above her and her head was resting on Jisa's lap.

"Thank the gods, you are awake."  Jisa sighed.  "Are you alright?"

She slowly nodded.  The shock of suddenly returning to her body was enough to snap her out of the fear's hold.

Daric nuzzled her cheek.  _:Thank_ you for coming back.:__

"Do you need anything?"  Jisa thought of the last time she had seen Afiona after a trance.

"Just bed."  Afiona's voice was raspy from the sobbing.

Jisa helped her to her feet and on to Daric's back.  "Why didn't you tell me you were Chosen?"

Afiona wound her shaking hands in his mane.  "Sorry."

Jisa swung up behind, Taver was still entertaining Nico.  "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I am needed as a Healer."  She said.  "I can't fight like a Herald."

Jisa started to protest when Taver stopped her.

:She is right, she would be only another Herald, as a Healer she can do much more.  She probably would fall apart the first time someone yelled at her.:

_:Then__ why was she __Chosen__?:_  Jisa asked.

Taver couldn't, or chose not to, answer.

~*~

Nico looked over his shoulder at the palace.  He hadn't seen his Mama-Afi in a while and he was starting to worry.

_:Nico__, don't you want to listen to the story?:_  Taver asked.

Nico looked back up at the great stallion guiltily.  _:Where's__ Mama-Afi?  Why is she sad?:_

Taver stared at him for a moment.  _:You__ can feel her?:_

_:She's__ sad.:_  Nico repeated.  _:Does__ Demon know she's sad.  He doesn't like her being sad.  I don't either.:_

Taver tried to stop the colt as he hurried to the room he shared with Afiona and Demon.  _:What__ about your story?:_

_:Mama__-Afi is sad, I go make her happy.:_

Taver shook his head as the determined colt stumbled, recovered, and continued running.

Nico slid to a stop in the garden, barely missing his father.  _:Where's__ Mama-afi?:_

Daric nuzzled his neck.  _:She's__ is inside.:_

_:Is__ Lance coming?:_  Nico asked.  Often, when Mama-Afi was worried Lance would come and help her.

_:Lance__ had to go away.:_  Daric tried to explain.

Nico stared at the ground for a long moment.  _:Why__?:_

_:Because__ he has adult work to do.:_  Daric tried to explain.

_:But__ he's got to be here!:_  Nico stomped his small hoof.

:Nico, adults have duties that sometimes call them away.:

Nico dashed around his father and scurried inside.  Afiona was sitting on her chair rubbing her forehead.  A sign she wasn't happy.

Nico stopped in front of her and lay his head on her lap.  :Mama-Afi?:

She dropped her hand and gave him a weak smile.  "Hey sweetie.  Where's your papa?"

Nico loved the sound of her voice.  :Papa is outside.  Are you sad?:

Afiona scratched his forehead in his favourite spot.  Nico felt sorry for the other foals who's Mamas didn't have hands.  "Just a little sad.  Sometimes people just get sad."

Nico heaved a sigh.  :Cause of Lance?:

Afiona actually laughed.  "Is every man in my life trying to match us off?"

:What's that?:  Nico asked.

"Nothing honey."  She placed a kiss on his forehead.  "Lance had to go away for a while but he is going to miss us."

:Then he should stay.:  Nico said firmly.

"He wants too but his duty won't let him."  Afiona stared out the open door at a worried Daric.

:I make you happy.:  Nico said suddenly.  :I tell you a story about Afi.:

Afiona rested her head on one hand and listened intently as Nico's heroine chased the barn cat and hid in the straw.  A wonderfully plotless and innocent story.

Afiona was surprised to find herself actually laughing as he mimicked the characters in his story, often with hilarious results.

:Mama-Afi is happy now?:  Nico asked.

"Yes.  Thank you."  She kissed his forehead.  "What have you learned from papa today?"

:I learned that you are not called a two foot.:  Nico said solemnly.

"Oh, what am I called?"

:Mama-Afi of course!:  Nico exclaimed.

A soft knock was all the warning they had before the door opened to reveal Jisa.

She stared at an obviously revived Afiona.  "You are obviously feeling better."

"It is hard to feel depressed around Nico."  She explained.

:What's depressed?:

:Sad.:  Afiona explained.  

Jisa leaned against the door jam, studying the pair for a long moment. 


	18. Chapter 18

-Chapter 18-

Jisa could Feel some sort of reassurance in the room and the only difference between now and when she left Afiona alone was Nico.  "That's odd."

"Hardly."  Afiona stroked his neck.  "His exuberance is just infectious.  He says he knows he makes me happy, I told him that a few months ago."

"I wonder…"  Jisa eyed the colt for a moment.  "Could you ask him how he made you happy?"

Afiona turned to Nico.  :Sweetie, how did you make me happy?:

:I think happy thoughts at you and you get happy.:  Nico responded simply.

"Are you thinking he is a projective?"  Afiona asked after she relayed his answer.

"It would explain your improved mood.  And why he ran away from Taver saying he had to see his Mama-Afi because she was sad."

Nico looked between them, confused.  :I'm a project?:

Afiona laughed and relayed his question.

"He understands us?"  Jisa said in disbelief.

"Mostly, yes."  Afiona said with all the pride of a mother who knows her child is special.

"Incredible.  I assume that is so you can hear more stories."  Jisa smiled at him.

:I like stories.:  Nico agreed.

Afiona relayed it again.  "He corners the Chronicler at least once a week."

"Do you know how to test for a Gift?"  Jisa looked around for a place to sit and had to settle for the hearth.

:We'd rather you didn't.:  Daric interrupted.

"I can, but I won't."  Afiona said carefully.  "They would prefer I didn't."

Jisa wasn't surprised.  "Why would a Companion be a projective empath?"

Afiona drummed her fingers on her chair's arm.  "Tashir's Companion is special, isn't he?"

"I think I remember hearing something about him."  Jisa quickly consulted Taver.  "He is a mindhealer of sorts."

"Do you think Nico is too?  I am a mind healer, and rather good.  I use it on the Companions and the injured animals to prevent them from being too traumatized.  Maybe they are letting be his mother so I can train him."

"It makes sense.  Every other orphaned Companion has been raised by another Companion."  Jisa leaned forward, her sharp mind already working on the puzzle.

"It also explains why people are more comfortable in his presence.  Even the injured Companions seem to be calmer with him present.  I thought it was because they didn't want to alarm him."

"Nico, have you been thinking happy thoughts at other people?"  Jisa caught the colt's attention.

:Yup.  I don't like yelling.:  Nico responded.

"He has.  He doesn't like people being upset."  Afiona translated.  "I think I better start training him soon."

"That is probably a good idea.  The only Companion who could help you would be Tashir's Companion.  Would you be alright with visiting Tashir for a few months?"  Jisa 

"That won't be a problem.  We already agreed to spend winter there."  Afiona ran a hand through her hair.  "I never thought he would be gifted.  Should I shield him?"

"I don't know what the ethics are for Companions with powerful Gifts."  Jisa rubbed her brow absently.  "What does your Companion say?"

:What should we do?:  Afiona asked Daric.

:Shield him if it interferes with you but he has to learn to use it.:  Daric said after a moment's consultation with the others.

"Shield him when it gets in the way but leave it alone otherwise."

:Leave what alone?: Nico asked confused.

:Have we been making you confused?:  She asked.  :We are just talking about how you think happy thoughts and other people feel happier.:

Satisfied he wasn't missing anything interesting he went to investigate his pile of toys.  The ragged doll Companions with the big blue button eyes was his favourite toy so he dragged it out to show it off to their guest.

"He must be very powerful.  You were close to just shutting down completely."  Jisa said as she stood.  "I don't envy you."

She started for the door.

"Herald, please don't tell anyone about Daric."  Afiona said before she reached the door.

"Why not?"  Jisa asked, genuinely confused.

"He feels I am still needed as a Healer.  Besides, if you started training me to be a Herald now I would never be ready for when the Karsites attack."  Afiona said logically.  

"Very well, I will not tell anyone until you are ready to start training."  Jisa agreed.  "And I hope we don't need you in either capacity."

~*~

Afiona was ready to hit her old friend with a board.  Medren had sought her out to discover what had caused her to run off and was once again fretting over her.

"Medren, I don't need you to 'fix it'.  I have to do this on my own."  She said for the tenth time.  "I know you want to help but you can't."

"Give up."  Stefen advised him.  "You are going to win with her."

"Thank you."  Afiona smiled at the Bard.  Stef was now a favourite story teller of Nico's.  The revelations of the other day certainly explained why Stef often seemed more content after telling a story to Nico.

The little scamp had been trying to keep everyone happy by 'thinking happy thoughts'.  Now she wasn't certain whether to tell him to stop or to encourage him.  He was a Companion and they were rules unto themselves, but he was a baby.  

At the moment Nico and Demon were off to the side, Nico waiting for someone to have time to tell a story and Demon complaining about the 'silly pup' not lying still.

"Medren, I appreciate you wanting to help but I need to face this on my own.  No one else can do it for me."  She hoped this time he would actually hear what she was saying.  "Do matter how much you protest they will still be my demons and it will still be my responsibility."

Medren sank on to her bed with a sigh.  "You practically ran screaming from one of your dearest friends because he raised his voice.  How are you going to handle that one your own?"

"I will find a way."  She said calmly.  

Stefen cleared his throat before they could continue.  "How about we get some lunch?"

Afiona nodded and stood, brushing out her skirts.  "Could you two tell a story to Nico?  He has been waiting patiently this entire time."

Nico scrambled forward eagerly when he heard the word story.  :Please!:

"He says 'please'."  She relayed.

"Not a problem."  Medren assured her.

Demon padded to her side as she left the men and Nico.  :Sore.:

Afiona sighed and scratched his head.  The poor old dog suffered from arthritis in his back, making him slow and causing endless pain.  Afiona made certain he exercised every day and tried massaging the muscles in his back but it was becoming worse.  She doubted he would make it through the winter.  She knew he wouldn't be able to make the long trip to see Tashir.  She wanted to wait until he died before she left, reluctant to let her loyal friend die among strangers.

:Bacon?:  Demon asked hopefully.

She smiled and scratched his ears.  :Perhaps some jam.:

Demon's ears perked up and he hurried a bit more.  The dog had developed a fondness for the cook's sweet berry jams and his thoughts were now complete centered on the impending treat.

:He is getting so stiff.:  Afiona commented to Daric.

:How old is he?:  Daric asked.

:He is nearing ten now.  I know he can't take a trip to Lineas-Baires, not if we ride, and I can't leave him behind.:  Afiona reached down to scratch Demon's ear.  :But what about Nico, we need to do something about his 'happy thoughts'.:

Daric seemed to talk to the other Companions for a moment.  :Stay until Demon passes on then.  You can shield Nico if he starts making trouble.  Most of his training will fall to you anyway.:

:And what about me being a Herald?  If we stay someone may find out.:  

:I know, and if they do we will deal with it.:  Daric assured her.  :For now we have bigger problems.:

Afiona sighed.  :Me.  What good can I be as Healer or Herald when the Karsites attack if I run for the hills every time someone yells at me?:

:You said you want to do this on your own, so where do we start?:  Daric asked.

Afiona stopped.  Demon looked up at her, confused.  :I don't know.:  She sighed.  She was not nearly as confident as she had led Medren to believe.  :It has been years since anyone even thought to hit me but still…:

:Afiona, when you dream you sometimes see your brother, do you not?  How can you recover if every time you start to feel safe you are pulled into the mind of the man who harmed you in the first place?:  Daric said logically.

:I don't have much control over that.:  Afiona responded.  :It just happens.:

Daric sent her a wave of understanding.  :Go get the food before your guests run out of stories.  We will think of something.:

Afiona shook off her reverie and resumed her path to the kitchen.  The cook produced a chunk of bread slathered with fresh butter and jam for Demon without a word.  

"How much food do you need?"  She asked as she brushed the breadcrumbs off her fingers.

"There is three of us and Demon."  Afiona answered.  With just a few gestures the cook ordered a tray prepared with three earthenware bowls of a thick, steaming stew, a loaf of bread, apples, a jar of jam, a dish of fresh butter, an entire nut pie, and a pot of tea with three mugs.  

"You can handle it, can't you?"  The cook asked, looking around for a helper she could spare.

"If I can handle ornery Companions and Heralds I can handle a tray of food.  Especially with Demon to catch anything I drop."  She gestured to the dog, who was now licking the jam that stuck to his fur.

"Very well."  The cook placed the tray in her arms and turned back to her preparations for feeding the entire Collegium.  

Afiona carefully made her way back to her room, her arms ached by the time she placed the food on her raised hearth.  Medren and Stefen only smiled an acknowledgement as they battled to outdo each other for what outrageous event could happen to the characters in the story they created.

:Mama-Afi, they are telling a silly story.:  Nico said excitedly.  :You listen too?:

:We have to stop to eat soon.  I bet they are getting hungry.:  Afiona answered as she cut some bread and buttered it.

Nico looked disappointed and started butting the two bards.

"What on earth?"  Stef asked.

"He is telling you to eat."  Afiona handed them each a bowl of stew.  

"Thanks scamp."  Medren scratched Nico's ear.  "I wish I could hear you."

"You need some more furniture."  Stef commented as he sat cross-legged on the floor.  

"I know.  But Nico needs a lot of room.  And even more when he gets bigger.  He will near his full growth in just eighteen months."  Afiona pointed out.  

Nico located his ragdoll and started tossing it about and then chasing it.

"He is a happy little fellow."  Stefen commented.  "He certainly lifts one's spirits."

:Sweetie, are you thinking happy thoughts at Stefen?:  Afiona asked.

Nico dropped his toy and pranced over to her, very proud of himself.  :He is happy now too.:

"He has that effect on a lot of people."  Afiona scratched Nico's ears.  

:I'm lucky, Mama-Afi has hands.:  Nico's eyes half closed in enjoyment.

Afiona laughed.  "He thinks he is the luckiest colt because I have hands to scratch his ears."

"You do have talented hands."  Medren commented, then blushed and cleared his throat. 

Afiona cocked an eyebrow.  "Do I want to know what you were referring to?"

"Massage."  Medren insisted quickly.

Afiona laughed and winked at Stefen.  "Somehow I doubt that is all you are thinking about."

"You give massages?"  Stefen asked.

"None better."  Medren answered for her.  "Trust me, you would do anything for her after one massage."

Afiona blushed.  She relaxed, sensing Medren was going to leave the topic of what she was going to do about Lance and everything for the time being. 


	19. Chapter 19

-Chapter 19-

The sky was heavy with what portended to be the first great fall of snow for winter but Afiona, wrapped in a heavy cloak and a fur muff to keep her hands warm, ignored the warning in favor of just savoring the silence.  Nico was happily chasing another foal around under the watchful eyes of the mares giving her a few minutes to herself before he'd come running back to check on his mama.

She leaned against the ancient tree and watched absently as Nico cavorted about, her mind focusing on the greater task at hand; getting her life under control and herself straightened out.

_:If you keep thinking so hard you are going to give me a headache.:_  Daric said lightly as he looked up from his grazing.

_:I'll give you something for it when it starts to bother you.:_  Afiona responded absently.

Daric abandoned the last, weakly growing stalks of grass and trotted to her side.  _:What's your plan?:_

_:I don't have one.  That is my problem.:_  Afiona sighed.

Daric sighed.  _:First, let's start with what has the deepest roots.  Your fear.:_

Afiona tried to consider herself as she would any other patient.  _:I need to break the pattern of being a victim.:_

_:What would you suggest for a patient who has been traumatized severely and often slips into the role of the victim?:_  Daric prodded.

_:I would suggest a session with the mindhealers but that is a problem.  They would take away my status if they thought I was unstable.:_  Afiona pointed out.

_:Surely you've had a stubborn patient that just refuses to talk to a mindhealer.:_  Daric said hopefully.

_:Actually, we had one very stubborn Companion whose Herald was badly injured while on circuit and the Companion was almost crippled with guilt believing that his inability to defend his Chosen had made his injuries worse.  He started to believe that he had actually been the cause of the injuries.  He became too scared to fight.  I ordered him to have more fighting lessons, at first alone to help rebuild his shattered confidence and then with his Herald until they were an even stronger team than before.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:It is not the same but…:_

_:Wonderful idea.:_  Daric said enthusiastically.  _:It would force you to rely only on yourself for protection.:_

Afiona reached out with one hand and stroked his smooth neck.  _:Who do I talk to about that?:_

_:Lance's mother.  She would be the best choice for you.  You have less fear around females, I have noticed that, and she would understand your problem.  And trust me, she won't tell anyone what you tell her.  She isn't empathic but she has seen more than even most Heralds.  She was posted in the south when she was young and saw the young women that had been raped and beaten by the so called bandits.:_  Daric assured her confidently.

Afiona was obviously doubtful.  _:Are you sure?  Won't she tell Lance?:_

_:No.  She won't even tell her husband.:_  Daric assured her.  _:Feeling more in control now?:_

Afiona smiled slightly and nodded._  :I do feel a bit more in control.  I think this is the first time since Nico was born that I have felt any measure of control.:_

Daric snorted.  _:No wonder!  That little scamp hasn't let you have a moment's peace, his every need has come first.  Sometimes I wonder if you don't need more help.:_

Afiona moved quickly to assure him.  _:I can cope.  You take him for much of the day already, and the mares all help by watching him.:_

_:But he doesn't let you out of his sight for more than a few minutes, unless he is being told a very good story and he can sense you nearby.  That is normal for him, but you need some time to yourself.:_  Daric pointed out logically.

_:I had time to myself, with Lance the other night.:_  Afiona blushed and stroked a strand of hair out of her eyes.  _:And that brings us to my other problem; Lance.  I feel so bad for how I acted, and I tried writing an apology but my handwriting is beyond pathetic and I didn't know what to write so I tossed them all in the fire.:_

_:Well, what do you want to say?:  _Daric urged.

_:That I am sorry for acting like I did, I never intended to confuse or hurt him.:_  Afiona started.  _:That I am going to miss him.  That I want him to be careful, I hate patching up friends.:_

Daric stepped closer and hung his head over her shoulder so she could scratch his chin in that spot he never seemed to scratch right.  _:Write that then.  I am sure he is having just as much trouble as you.:_

Afiona rested her head against his neck and waved at Nico as he paused to check to see if she was still there.  _:It doesn't come out right.  It's all stiff and awkward.:_

_:Speaking from experience, that is normal when you are still feeling each other out.  Since he is not here and you don't have a pen I think we should focus on something else.:_

_:Like what?:_  Afiona asked.

Daric hesitated.  _:Like your dreams.  How you keep dreaming of your brother even though it has been years and then you end up somewhere in Valdemar until you calm down enough to return to your body.:_

Afiona grimaced.  _:Oh, that.  I have never been able to control it when I am asleep.  And I do shield.:_

_:I know.:_  Daric quickly assured her.  _:You have excellent control when you are awake, but when you are asleep and you are at the mercy of your emotions.  I have seen you after you seen through your brother's eyes, you regress to how you must have felt when you were a little girl, worried about when your brother was going to kill you.:_

Afiona nodded, she felt a stirring of fear as she consider the last occasion; she had been forced to watch for several minutes as her brother beat a woman.  That had been the morning she had gone to see Lance off.  _:What do you suggest?:_

_:I know this requires a great leap of faith on your part and most Companions don't even have to consider this resort, but I can deepen our bond so that when you…travel and start to feel fear I can pull you back.  It would mean I would see all you see and hear all you hear.  I would also see your surface thoughts and it will be very hard for us to block each other out.:_  Daric turned his head so he could see her reaction.  _:It would also give you a firmer anchor for when you help the wounded Companions and Heralds.:_

_:Does everyone know about that?:_  Afiona asked, still considering his proposal.

_:We have known about your wanderings since you first came to Haven.  I admit that a few have actually pulled you to them when they saw no other recourse.:_  Daric said hesitantly.  _:Does it bother you?:_

_:No, why would it?  I am just glad I can be of help.:_  Afiona quickly assured him.  _:About this bond, how deep will it be?:_

_:I am not exactly certain.  It depends on how your own Gifts react to it.  We may…resonate more than you would find comfortable.:_  Daric tried to say delicately.

_:I think it is worth the risk, if you are willing to risk it as well.:_  Afiona agreed.

Daric heaved a sigh of relief.  _:It takes time, but until it is strong enough I'll sleep right outside your door so I can hear you.:_

_:Thank you.:_  Afiona said with sincere gratitude.

_:Mama-Afi!:_  Nico called as he scampered towards her, his legs nearly tangling beneath him. 

"I am right here, angel."  Afiona quickly called to him.

Nico stopped and butted his head against her stomach.  _:I stay with you for now.:_

_:Careful, soon you will send Mama-Afi tumbling when you do that.:_  Daric reminded him.

Nico ducked his head.  _:Oops.:_

"That's alright.  I'll see you later, Daric.  I have one problem to tend to before supper."  Afiona started back towards the palace.

_:What one?:_  Daric asked curiously.

"Medren."  Afiona called over her shoulder.

Afiona did not go into the palace but went into a large indoor riding ring used by the trainees of all collegia.  A young woman, clad in brilliant whites, with a half dozen lead ropes over one shoulder and a long log used on a jump over the other smiled a greeting as Afiona entered.  "You're early.  I wasn't expecting you for another candlemark."

"I can come back if you want."  Afiona offered as Nico took off to investigate the low jump the Herald had set up.

"I'd rather you stick around, the more time we have to dedicate to designing your Companion med kit the sooner it is done."  The Herald hung the ropes on a hook and set the log against the wall.  "Is he alright over there?"  She gestured to Nico on the far side on the ring.

Afiona watched as Nico investigated the jump.  "He's fine, he is just curious.  Shall we have a seat?"

Afiona sat on a bench that stretched along one wall and pulled out a piece of paper that was already covered in writing.  "Did you think of anything else that should be in the kit?"

"No."  The Herald admitted as she released a relieved sigh and sat next to Afiona.   

"Mia, I have an odd favor to ask.  I have two cantankerous patients I could use some help with tomorrow morning.  Could you spare me a couple of candlemarks?"  Afiona asked.

Mia considered it for a moment.  "I have a class right before lunch but I can help you till then."

"Wonderful."  Afiona glanced at the Herald next to her, Mia looked like an angel and had the heart to match.  She had pale, straight blond hair, light blue eyes, and perfect complexion.  "My friends, Medren and Stefen, said they would come but since they are Bards…"

"You don't want them holding the hoof of a pissed off Companion."  Mia guessed.  "I know Stef, but I haven't had a chance to meet Medren yet.  He was long gone by the time I was in Bardic."

"You were in Bardic?"  Afiona repeated, genuinely surprised.

"For all of a year before Lika stepped into my life.  And don't you worry about me breaking a wrist or anything."  Mia assured her quickly.  "I am not that great of a player."

"Then why were you in Bardic?"  Afiona asked, confused.

"I can sing, I have the Bardic Gift, not nearly as strong as Stefen of course, and I am creative but I am completely hopeless with any instrument.  I still write songs but normally I only share those with the other Heralds."  Mia explained.  "Shall I meet you in your room for breakfast?" 

"That will be wonderful."  Afiona said gratefully.  

"Excellent.  I look forward to meeting Medren."  Mia's voice held an odd tone.

"What?"  Afiona pressed. 

"I have seen Medren from a distance several times."  Mia leaned closer.  "That boy is very easy on the eyes.  I hope you don't mind if I use this occasion to try and catch his eye?"

Afiona chuckled.  "I don't mind at all.  I admit the reason I asked you was because Medren has commented on seeing you many times and liking what he saw.  He keeps trying to pair me off with Lance and while I do adore Lance, I am not ready to act on it."

"Men can be such dolts sometimes."  Mia shook her head causing a silvery blonde strand of hair to fall in front of her face.  "I guess this will serve both our purposes.  I get to meet Medren and you get some peace.  That sounds like a fair deal."

~ * ~

Afiona groaned and tried to bat the hand away that kept shaking her shoulder.

"Come on Afi.  Time to greet the day."  Medren's too cheery voice pierced her sleep fogged brain.  

Nico had a bad night where he hadn't been able to fall asleep and when he did he kept kicking Afiona.  "Why do you keep calling me that?"  Afiona growled.  "It sounds like a name for a pet."

Medren stood causing her mattresses to shift.  "Good morning to you too."

Nico accidentally kicked her as he struggled to his feet causing a wince.  "Shut up and go away."  She ground out and sat up reluctantly.  Her eyes were puffy and blood shot from the long night and her mouth tasted like something died in it.  Medren however was far too conscious for a footloose bard at dawn.  He was dressed and groomed and obviously ready to help her.

"Great Gods!  You look like you spent the night fighting with a giant."  Medren exclaimed and knelt next to her to gently touch her bruised face.  "Tell me who did it and where to find them.  They won't do it again."

"Nico.  He kept having bad dreams."  Afiona explained as she clambered stiffly out of bed to let the still tired Nico out of the room.  She ignored his presence as she quickly shed her nightgown that bore many hoof marks and pulled on a pair of breeches and a shirt.  

A knock made her jump.  Medren gave her a worried look.

"Lack of sleep."  Afiona pointed out as she opened the door, revealing Mia with a loaded breakfast tray and Stef.

"Oh good, I was worried I was waking you but Lika insisted you were awake."  Mia stepped in to the room.  "You look like hell."

"I know.  Nico had nightmares."  Afiona sat on her hearth and restored the banked coals to their normal crackling life.  

"I bet you are eager for the day when he sleeps standing up."  Mia set her tray on the chair.

"Mia, this is Medren.  The great disturber of sleep."  Afiona grumbled.

"Sorry, she is not much of a morning person."  Medren gave Mia a smile and held out his hand in greeting.  "Were you roped into helping or is your Companion one of the injured?"

"I am a volunteer."  Mia accepted his hand.  From where Afiona sat she could see Mia's finger caress the inside of his wrist.  "I am pleased to meet you."

Stef glanced down at Afiona and cocked an eyebrow.  Afiona shrugged.  No doubt he saw Mia's gesture as well.

"Oh, I brought Nico's formula; Lika said you would probably appreciate it."  Mia broke the contact and collected the glass bottle from the tray.  "Could you show me how you feed him?  I have never heard of a Companion being raised on a bottle."

"You don't mind setting out breakfast do you?"  Afiona asked the strangely silent Medren and the grinning Stef.

"No problem."  Stef assured her.

_:I think Stefen knows you are turning your hand to match making.:_  Daric commented.

_:Probably.  He would find it amusing.:_  Afiona got to her feet stiffly and led Mia outside, grabbing her cloak on the way out the door.

Nico was romping in the fresh snow that covered the ground in a thick pristine blanket.  Before this he had only seen the sprinklings of snow that melted off rather quickly.  _:Mama-Afi!  Look at this!:_  Nico gave what he though was great leap but his tiny silver hooves barely cleared the snow.

"Very impressive."  Afiona said with a grin.  "Are you hungry?"

Nico immediately abandoned his playing to run to the women his tail and ears up.

"He is so cute!"  Mia cooed.  "Can he understand me?"

Afiona nodded, stifling a yawn.  "He understands normal speech."

"Can I feed him?"  Mia asked eagerly.

Afiona nodded and showed her how to hold the bottle.  "So, is Medren more impressive close up?"

Mia laughed.  "I definitely like what I see.  I am not treading on your toes am I?  I mean you two seem to be rather close."

Afiona shook her head.  "We have been lovers occasionally but we were never in love."

"Oh, good."  Mia said without looking up.  "Lika told me Bardaric Chose you."

Afiona stared mutely at the Herald.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone else."  Mia quickly assured her.  "I understand why you feel you are needed more as a healer now.  Lika tells me the Companions are all grateful for everything you do and how you have dedicated yourself to healing them but there are still some skills you should learn, especially with war on the horizon."

"Like what?"  Afiona asked hesitantly.

"Like riding like a Herald."  Mia pointed out.  "I can work with you first thing in the morning if you like."

_:Did you know about this?:_  Afiona asked the absent Daric.

_:I know the others know I Chose you but I asked them _not_ to tell their Chosen.:_  Daric grumbled.  _:At least only Lika broke ranks.:_

"Thank you for the offer."  Afiona said uncertainly.  "But—"

"No buts.  You _need_ to know how to ride if there is an emergency."  Mia said firmly.  "If you aren't willing I will have to tell the others."

"That is blackmail."  Afiona accused.

"I prefer to think about as coercion."  Mia said lightly.  "Besides, when this darling boy gets bigger you will have to help train him so it is for the best."

Afiona sighed in defeat.  "I should have known they would tell someone."

Mia gave her a curious look.  "Why wouldn't you want anyone to know?"

"It will be years before I would be considered trained as a Herald but I am a fully trained Healer now."  Afiona explained.  

Nico released the bottle and looked up at the two women.  _:Can we play now?:_

Afiona chuckled and scratched his forehead.  "Sorry sweetie, I have to work."

Nico heaved a sigh.  _:I go with Mama-Afi?:_

Afiona chuckled.  _:No, you go with papa and play tag.:_

_:You go with the storymen?:  _Nico asked as he reluctantly left her side and started towards the gate.

"I'm going help the hurt Companions.  When I finish patching them up you can come with me and think happy thoughts."  Afiona promised.

Nico's ears perked up.  _:I go tell papa.:_

"Happy thoughts?"  Mia asked curiously as she watched Nico scramble out the gate in search of his father.

"He is a powerful mindhealer.  Whenever anyone around him is upset he thinks happy thoughts at them to cheer them up."  Afiona explained as she turned to go back inside.

"That explains why you are raising him."  Mia said as she followed.  "What's the ethics of that for Companions?"

"I am not sure."  Afiona admitted.

Inside the men had set the tray on the hearth and had scrounged up enough pillows for everyone to sit comfortably in a half circle.

Stefen was sitting closest to the hearth and Medren was next to him.  Afiona took the other seat closest to the fire, leaving Mia to sit next to Medren.  As Afiona settled Stefen winked.

Afiona grinned.  "Could you pass the tea please?"

Mia settled next to Medren with a look in her eyes that was best described as predatory.  "How long do you plan on staying in Haven?"

Medren cleared his throat.  "I was going to stay until Afiona leaves to visit her cousin later this winter."

"When's that?"  Mia asked Afiona.

"I am not certain.  Demon can't make the trip and I don't want to leave him behind."  Afiona gestured to the furry form still in the bed.  Demon raised his head when he heard his name.  

_:Jam?:_  He asked hopefully.

_:Not in bed old man.:_  Afiona said firmly.

Demon got to his feet slowly and stretched carefully before padding across the floor to sit at Afiona's side.

Mia's eyes widened when she saw the size of the old dog.

"You should have seen him when he was younger."  Medren said.  "He would kill anyone who looked cross eyed at Afiona."

Afiona scratched her old friend's ears and gave him some bread slathered with jam.  "You still would, wouldn't you?  So long as you never had to leave your bed."

Demon wolfed down the treat ignoring the question.

"Medren told me how you took him out of the kennel when everyone else was scared to death of him."  Stefen commented.

"All he needed was someone to trust."  Afiona said softly.

"So you are waiting until he dies?"  Mia asked.

Afiona nodded.  "He has only a few weeks left.  Which is why I am not too worried about his diet."

_:More jam?:_  Demon said hopefully and gave her a hopeful look.  Afiona obliged him.

"I know it sounds callous, but he is only a dog."  Mia pointed out.

Afiona laughed, surprising everyone.  "I know he is only a dog but he has still been my loyal friend for years and I wish to repay his loyalty in kind."

Mia observed the pair for a few seconds.  "I never considered that.  My father owns hunting dogs but he always said not to get attached to them because they are just dogs."

Afiona draped an arm over Demon's back.  "I am an animal mindspeaker.  I know he would never leave me, no matter the danger and he trusts that I will act the same."

Demon turned and licked the side of her face.

Medren watched her solemnly remembering the night her brother had stabbed her and how Demon had refused to leave her.  "Will you get another dog?"

"I don't know.  Maybe I'll find another."  Afiona shrugged.  "Hurry up and eat.  We should get out there soon."

It was barely past dawn when the four emerged into the snow covered morning.  Stef strolled next to Afiona as Mia claimed Medren's arm and guided him to the stables.  If Medren's blush was any guide her words were not innocent.

"I can't believe you did that."  Stefen admitted.

"Sometimes distraction is the best offence."  Afiona admitted.  "Do you disapprove?"

"No.  I remember Mia rather well, she is quite shameless."  Stefen grinned.  "I think he will get what he deserves."

"Which is?"  Afiona asked curiously.

"A reminder on why he should keep his nose out of other people's relationships."  Stefen said lightly.   


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Afiona gave her last patient a pat on the neck before she turned to the others.  Stef had blocked the pain of the Companions as they worked so she wasn't as tired as she normally was and with Medren and Mia helping with the heavy work of holding limbs or holding instruments what normally took all day was finished in a couple of candlemarks.

"That's it, I hope."  Mia said as she stretched.  "I have to get going."

"That's it."  Afiona confirmed.  "Thanks for your help."

Medren jumped as Mia walked past on her way out the door.  Afiona caught the mischievous glint in her eyes.  

"See you later, 'Fiona."  Mia called.

"See you."  Afiona called back.  

"Why did you need this afternoon free?"  Medren asked, even though he didn't take his eyes from the empty doorway. 

"Well, I want to locate some furniture for one; a table and chairs at least.  I promised to meet with your grandmother for lunch as well."  Afiona explained.  "I have to get going as well unless I want to smell like horse for lunch."

Afiona vanished out into the hall leaving the men to make their own ways out of the stable.

"You are looking thoughtful for a change."  Stefen commented.

"Did you see what she did?"  Medren asked.

"Who did what?"  Stefen asked.

"Mia, she just pinched me."  Medren explained.

"No.  Are you sure you weren't indulging you Bardic imagination?"  Stefen asked.

"Women are the most confusing creatures created.  You know that?"  Medren complained.

Stefen laughed.  "I have very little experience with them."

~ * ~

Afiona hurried to her room and quickly ordered a tub and hot water.  As she waited for her water to arrive she gathered her bath oils and set out her towels and the gown she would don afterwards.  She decided upon a pale blue gown, one of the ones Lady Treesa had given her, and draped it over her chair to keep it from gathering the fur that seemed to breed in her room.  No matter how often she cleaned, black and white hair covered her blankets and gathered in the corners.

Demon watched her from the bed, his interest more in that it wasn't _his bath that had been ordered.  He never understood why she enjoyed bathing.  To him it was a wet, undignified procedure._

"Relax, Demon."  Afiona paused to scratch his ears.  "This one is for me."

Demon wagged his tail.  _:Not wet is good.:_

Afiona laughed and sat down next to him.  "No more flea-baths.  I promise."

Demon wagged his tail harder.  _:Very good.:_

"I'm going to miss you."  She admitted sadly.  "You're a good friend."

Demon licked her hand reassuringly.

A knock on her door interrupted her.  "Healer?"  A servant called.

Afiona hurried to get the door.  The tub was on a low, wheeled platform and already full of steaming water.  "By the hearth please."

Three men pushed it into place and locked the wheels before leaving quickly.  Afiona wasted no time and stripped off her dirty robes and piled them on the foot of her bed.

The water was the ideal temperature as she stepped into it.  

No Companions in her room, no nosy friends at her door, no emergency…  It was truly a rare treat.

Afiona felt the heat of the water leach the tension from her shoulders and neck and let her eyes drift closed.  

A brisk knock on her door made her jump.

"Go away!"  Afiona yelled.

Demon barked, echoing her sentiment.

Afiona had sat with her back to the door so she had to twist about to see if they had listened.

The door opened.

"Healer Afiona, I wish to speak with you."  An older woman said as she stepped into the room.

Afiona lunged to pull the towel she had left on the hearth and dragged it over herself.  "I said go away."

The woman stared at her for a long moment, no expression on her face.  "I wish to speak with you and you are hard to track down.  I wasn't about to let you escape.  It isn't like I am a male or anything."

_:Bite?:_  Demon asked as he lurched to his feet and bared his long white fangs.

"No, Demon, it's alright."  Afiona soothed and held out her hand.  Demon padded to her side and sat between the intruder and Afiona.

"Obedient dog.  Mind if I have a seat?"  The woman sat on the chair facing Afiona.  

"Who in the Havens are you?"  Afiona demanded.  "Answer or I will let Demon bite you."

Demon bared his teeth and growled.

"I am Lance's mother, Herald Rissa."  She said wryly.  "I promised him I would talk to you."

Afiona drew back in surprise.

"He said you fought.  He wanted you to know he was sorry."  Rissa relayed.  She forced herself to keep her eyes focused on the younger woman's face.  As a weapon master she was very familiar with scars and what caused them so she knew Afiona's body was a testament to misery.  On her back was a lattice of whip marks.  On her arms were dozens of tiny scars in neat little rows.  Even her upper left arm had a barely noticeable curve to it, most likely from a bad break.  All the wounds she could see were old, decades old.

"We didn't fight."  Afiona said softly as she sank further under the water, sensing Rissa's interest.  "It was my fault anyways; he has nothing to apologize for."

"Oh, care to tell me what happened?"  Rissa asked, not using the tone of voice that made grown men quake but the one that encouraged scared children to confide in her.

"Nothing happened."  Afiona insisted.  "If you'll excuse me, I have an appointment in less than a candlemark."

Rissa remained silent for a long moment.  "He scared you."  She said with brutal insight.  "He raised his voice and that scared you."

Afiona's wide eyed, almost panicked reaction was all the response she needed.

_:Mama-Afi!:_  Nico's high pitched mind voice made both women jump just as his tiny hooves struck the door.

"What in the Havens?"  Rissa jumped to her feet.  

_:Afiona, what is going on?  Nico insist you are in trouble.:_  Daric demanded.

"I-I-"  Afiona glanced around, trying to get a grip on herself.  Demon sensed her confusion and fear and reacted instinctively growling and barking at everything.

One blow from Daric's hooves knocked the door completely off its hinges.  Nico immediately ran to her and positioned himself between Afiona and the startled Rissa.  

_:My Mama-Afi!:_  Nico stomped his small silver hoof and adopted the same stance his father often used.

Daric stood, framed in the doorway as cold air rushed into the room, obviously ready to attack.

Rissa stared at the three defenders.  "What in the Havens?"  She repeated.

The cold air brought Afiona to her senses.  "No, everything is fine."  She scrambled out of the tub, trying to keep the soaked towel around her as she knelt next to Nico.  "See sweetie, we were just talking."

Nico turned his bright blue gaze on her; he was obviously worried and scared.  _:You not scared?:_

"She just surprised me."  Afiona looped an arm around his neck.  "That is Lance's mother."

_:Did I surprise you?:_  Nico asked worriedly.

"You are a good surprise, lovey, I like good surprises."  Afiona assured him.

Over Nico's back she met Daric's gaze.  _:Everything is alright.  We were just talking.:_

_:Then why didn't you answer?:_  Daric asked.

_:She startled me.  That's all.:_  Afiona pulled the towel tighter as she started to shiver.

Rissa stood to get her a blanket when the still upset Demon took offence.  His deep throated growl grabbed Afiona's attention.  Demon lunged for her arm, his long white teeth bared as Rissa jerked back reflexively, barely out of his reach.

_:Demon, no.  Do not bite her!:_  Afiona ordered.

Demon drew back slowly, still growling.

"What's going on?"  A Herald called as he tried to squeeze around Daric who stubbornly refused to move.  "Healer Afiona?"

"Everything is fine."  Afiona said as she scrambled for her bed and grabbed a blanket to shroud herself in.

"There was a misunderstanding."  Rissa called, not taking her eyes from Demon.

"Hey, Bardaric, could you back up a bit?"  Another Herald called.

Afiona could see people moving around outside, most clad in white.  How were they going to explain this?

"Could you call off your dog?"  Rissa asked.  "Unless you want to stitch me up."

Afiona nodded.  _:Demon, come here.:_

Demon reluctantly padded over to Afiona.  His thoughts still filled with rage at having his Afiona threatened.

_:I can protect myself.:_  Afiona told him softly.  _:Thank you for your offer but I don't need it my old friend.:_

Demon licked her hand as the hair on his back lowered.  _:No bite good.  Taste not good.:_

Two Heralds managed to get past the unmoving Daric and surveyed the still nervous colt, Afiona wrapped in a blanket, Demon casting suspicious glares at all the intruders, and Herald Rissa staring at Afiona with varying degrees of confusion.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to dress."  Afiona said stiffly.

"Come on old man."  One of the Heralds patted Daric's neck.  "Back up so we can give the lady her privacy."

Daric reluctantly backed out of the doorway and the Heralds pushed her door back up, blocking most of the chill wind.

"You'll have to get that repaired."  One commented as they used her chair to keep it in place.

"I have it seen to after lunch."  Afiona agreed.

In moments she was alone in her room, except for Nico and Demon.  A draft from the broken doorway made her shiver.

_:You should cancel your lunch.  Lady Treesa would understand.:_  Daric suggested.

_:No.  I have been putting her off for months.:_  Afiona responded firmly.  _:Give me a moment and I'll be fine.:_

_:What did she say to startle you?:_  Daric asked.

Afiona shed her damp blanket and soaked towel and pulled on her clothing slowly.  _:She knew Lance scared me.:_

She could sense Daric's frustration but he remained silent.  Nico followed her around, she could hear his thoughts which centred around not leaving his Mama-Afi in case someone surprised her again.  Demon sat in the chair, his eyes never leaving her.

_:Why are all the men in my life such mother hens?:_  Afiona asked Daric.

_:Mother Hens!:_  Daric spluttered.

Afiona grinned.  _:What else would you call this hovering?:_

Daric's mood lightened under Afiona's teasing.  Nico relaxed as well as the mood of the room improved.

"Now then."  Afiona said as she took final stock in her appearance.  "I have to get going.  Are you ready to go play with Papa, Nico?"

Nico hurried to the door leading to the hallway.  Daric met them at a side door.

_:You broke the door!:_  Nico informed his father as he pranced forward, his ears pricked and his tail high.  _:Mama-Afi got cold.:_

Afiona rolled her eyes.  "I'll see you two later."  She placed a kiss on Nico's broad forehead.  "You behave."

Nico promised obediently before following his father out into the field.  Afiona watched them for a long moment.  

_:Get going before you're late.:_  Daric admonished.  _:And continue with your plans.:_

_:Yes oh great white one.:_  Afiona teased as she turned back inside.  She knew Daric was well aware that her mood at the moment was all an act, like the past five years had been.  Her strength had been nothing more than a carefully constructed façade that was crumbling under the slightest stress but it still gave her a measure of control that she desperately needed and allowed her to perform her duties.

~ * ~

Rissa found the other Heralds that had been drawn by Bardaric's assault on Afiona's door still in the garden trying to figure out what happened.  They grew silent when she approached.

"Rissa, do you have any idea what happened?  Our Companions won't give us any answers."  One finally asked.

"I scared her."  Rissa admitted.  "I think Daric came to her rescue because he Chose her."

"What?  A healer?"  The Herald closest to her said in disbelief.

"Not an ordinary Healer."  Another commented.  "She _only_ works on animals and Companions."

"If he has Chosen her why haven't they told anyone?"  

Mia, a late arrival on the scene, cleared her throat.  "Because a fully trained Healer is more needed in war than an untrained Herald."

"But a fully trained Herald and Healer will be of even more use."  Rissa pointed out.

"Once she is on the Rolls as a trainee they will not send her to the front."  Mia pointed out.  "And we all know how close war is."

Rissa's husband nodded slowly.  "Then we won't put her on the Rolls.  I have a feeling she will seek out what training she can get without alerting anyone that she has been Chosen."

"So we should just let her come to us?"  Mia looked doubtful.

"We wait for her to come to us."  The dean confirmed.  "And we don't tell anyone who is not a Herald know about this.  So long as we don't acknowledge it, we can't record it."

Someone chuckled.  "Deliberate ignorance?"

Rissa shook her head.  "Love, I am not sure about this.  That girl is in bad shape."

"How so?"  One of the older Heralds demanded.

Mia glanced around.  "I got some of the story from Stef who got it from Medren."  All eyes were suddenly focused on her.  "Her own family tortured and abused her.  Considering what she has survived she is in wonderful shape."

"What has she been through?"  Rissa asked.  "I saw some of her scars."

Mia glanced at the ground.  "I shouldn't have said that.  She deserves her privacy."

"Scars?"  The Dean asked, glancing between Rissa and Mia.  "What kind of scars?"

"Knives, whips, burns, places where bones pierced the skin, and that is just her back."  Rissa answered.  It did not take an empath to sense the deadly mood of the gathered Heralds.  "Most of them look like they were inflicted when she was a child."

"Oh gods.  All that on a _child."  A horrified whisper reached everyone in the crowd._

"Who did it?"  A cold voice asked.  The speaker was a Herald that was better acquainted with shadows than circuits.

"They're dead."  Mia answered before anyone started calling for blood.  "We can't confront her, she would just run.  We have to wait until she is ready to talk."

Slowly everyone agreed.

They could only wait.

~ * ~

A permanent sneer marred the handsome man's face as he strode down the side walk.  People instinctively moved out of his way, as if sensing his malice.  His dark eyes searched the faces of those who passed by him, causing no few of them to flinch.

_They should cower before me,_ he thought, _worthless scum._

The winding road finally brought him within sight of his goal.  The great stone wall and the massive gate stood before him.  Pausing he stared past the gate at the courtyard beyond.  The brown clad clothing of the gardeners mixed with the rainbow of colours of the Nobles that had braved the chill weather in order to be seen in their expensive furs and the blues of the palace servants.  A wave of hatred filled him.  He should have been welcome within those walls.  He should be among those bright courtiers as was his due.  Wasn't his blood as blue as any of theirs?

The hatred coalesced and focused on one person.  _She had dared to succeed where he had failed.  __She who had been considered more valuable because she had Power.  __She who refused to die no matter how often he had wished it._

Afiona.

The bitch.

Now she was inside those walls, welcomed and happy.

He could see her features in his mind as he plunged the knife into her back.  The shock before the pain set in.  The way her golden eyes had widened in fear when she realised her _friends_ would never be able to save her.

His heart raced as his fists clenched reflexively.  He pictured the blood that had covered his hands.

The image changed to her laughing face as she sat in the tavern.  No fear on her face.  Confidence in her every gesture as she spoke with the man.  

Not only had she survived she had thrived.

Since the night years earlier when he had fled before the fangs and swords of her defenders he had rarely thought of her.  She had been a nothing.  With the Family gone and her wits destroyed she had been even more worthless than he.  When he had launched his bid to remove Tashir from power she had been only a means to an end, still a nothing.  Now she was everything he was not.

He wanted nothing more than to destroy her.  He _needed to destroy her.  Make her never exist._


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Afiona sighed and rubbed her forehead.  Lunch had seemed to drag on for nearly eternity.  Now she wished she had called off the meal rather than sitting there trying to look happy while her mind kept circling one obvious fact, she was falling to pieces. 

_:It isn't that bad, love.:_  Daric assured her, making her jump.

_:Isn't it?:_  Afiona asked sadly.  _:I thought I had it under control.:_

_:You were never stressed like this.:_  Daric pointed out logically.  _:And you haven't broken, you have just faltered a little.  Why don't you come out and let Nico think happy thoughts at you?:_

Afiona found herself smiling as she entered her room.  _:I will in a little while.  Can you tell me where Medren is?:_

_:He is telling a story right now.  That is why you don't have Nico pounding down your door.: _ Daric explained.  _:Remember, you are not alone, you are surrounded by people who care deeply for you.:_

_:Thanks.:_  Afiona said sincerely.  _:I forgot that.:_

_:I know.:_  Daric sent her a wave of love.

Afiona shivered in the chill air of her room.  The door was still propped up by her chair but the tub had been removed.  If it was still here she had no doubt it would be frozen solid.  Even Demon had resorted to curling up in the blankets to stay warm, only his nose was visible in the mounded blankets.  

She collected her serviceable, warm cloak and the mittens Tashir's wife had sent her the previous Midwinter, made from rabbit fur, before she left her room again.  She forced herself not to think about where she was going, no doubt she would lose her nerve if she did pause for a minute and reconsider.

She swung the cloak around her shoulders as she reached the door and stepped out into the biting wind.  Snow froze her ankles as she cursed herself for not thinking to change shoes.  Outside she could see the door of her goal, the salle.   

She hesitated at the doors before pushing them open and stepping inside.  Going from the white brightness to the darker interior blinded her for a moment.

"Afiona."  A voice she knew as belonging to Herald Rissa echoed slightly in the empty room.  "What brings you here?"

Afiona blinked to clear her vision and located the source of the voice.  "Am I disturbing you?"

Rissa glanced down at the torn practice armor in her hands, she always thought best when she was doing something.  "No, I was just waiting for my next student to appear.  Everyone else is still at lunch."

Afiona didn't relax and she walked hesitantly towards the older woman.  "I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment."

"About Lance?"  Rissa ventured and gestured for Afiona to sit next to her on the bench.

"No.  I was hoping you could find time to teach me.  If I am going to the front I will need to know how to fight to defend myself and my patients."  Afiona said as she remained standing.

_:I wondered what excuse she would use to get some training.:_  Rissa commented to her Companion.  "I can.  How about right before breakfast?  Almost no one comes down here at that time so we can have some privacy."

Afiona immediately relaxed.  "Oh, thank you."  She finally sat down.

Rissa set aside her mending.  "I don't know how good you will become, you are rather old."

"I just need to learn."  Afiona said vaguely.

Rissa leaned back against the wall.  "Since you are here and I don't see any of your defenders, mind if I ask about your feelings for my son?"

Afiona blushed and twined a bit of hair around one finger.  "I like him a great deal.  He is sweet."

"Sweet?"  Rissa chuckled.  "Your favorite desert should be sweet."

Afiona blushed.  "Fine, he is a little pushy and very stubborn but he is considerate, he helps out when he can, and I enjoy spending time with him but I am not ready for anything serious."  She said, not meeting Rissa's eyes.  "I just need some more time I guess."

Rissa patted her shoulder.  "You have time now.  I know he is hoping for a letter from you telling him all is forgiven.  He was actually going to delay leaving to hunt you down and tell you he was sorry."

"I have tried to write but nothing comes out right."  Afiona complained.  "It all seems so stiff.  And I know if he gets that he will worry more."

Rissa nodded in agreement.  "He would.  But he would appreciate it more than nothing until he returns.  Consider it a chance for more intimacy with less risk."

Afiona nodded slowly.  "I will write him tonight.  No guarantees that I don't toss it in the fire rather than send it though."

"Good enough."  Rissa said briskly.  "Is that everything?"

"Yes.  Now I am going to find someone to fix my door and some furniture.  Nico is careful enough now that I can afford a few pieces."  Afiona stood and straightened her gown. 

"You should explain to Lance why he scared you.  He deserves to know."  Rissa said as she placed the damaged armor on her lap.  "I will see you later."

"Thank you again."  Afiona said as she left the way she came.

~ * ~

_Dear Lance,_

_I am not certain if this is yet another letter I will toss in the fire rather than send.  I wish I had seen you off properly the other day.  Please believe me that none of it was your fault.  _

_Please be careful while you are down there, I hate patching up friends nearly as much as I hate burying them._

_Afiona_

Lance read the note again.  The careful, cramped writing betrayed some of the nervousness of the author.  

_:Short and sweet?:_  Carmia asked as she hung her head over his shoulder.

"Short but not very sweet."  Lance sighed.  "I don't know what I was expecting but I was hoping for more."

_:It is obvious that she is nervous, and she wouldn't be nervous if she didn't care about how you felt.:_  Carmia pointed out.  _:She is sorry for worrying you like that.  Patience Chosen.:_

Lance reached for the larger letter addressed with his mother's writing.  Breaking the seal he unfolded the letter.  Another letter, sealed with an anonymous seal, fell out.

_:How interesting.:_  Carmia commented. _ :What does your mother have to say?:_

_:She says that I am to remember to duck when the rookies are practicing their archery.:_  Lance related as he scanned the letter.  _:She has spoken to Afiona and she suggests I be more patient with her.  She also suggests I court her.:_

_:Very good idea.:_  Carmia agreed.  _:And with you so far away there won't be as much pressure on her.:_

Lance scratched Carmia's chin as her soft, grass scented breath caressed his cheek.  _:Father sends his love to us both and is up to his ears in work again but promises to write at the first available opportunity.:_

_:What about that other one?:_  Carmia prodded.

Picking up the folded paper he broke the seal.  His heart jumped when he saw the same careful writing from Afiona's letter.

_Dear Lance and Carmia,_

_Nico misses you both dreadfully.  He was quite mad with both of you for leaving but Daric has explained to him why you had to leave, you had to go find more stories for him.  He is growing like a weed still and is still incredibly active.  Of course he wants his Mama-Afi to be active with him.  I have no idea where mothers find the energy! _

"Poor Afiona."  Lance smiled, this was the type of letter he hoped for.  "Your grandson must be running her ragged.

_:I imagine your mother could give her some tips for dealing with a precocious child.:_  Carmia teased, she was five years his senior and remembered him playing in the field even when he was in leading strings.  He would get away from Rissa and be off in a flash, leaving his mother to trail after him, complaining about the unfairness of motherhood.  Carmia agreed that children should only have half the energy of their parents.

_There has been six new Chosen in the past week, a record I am sure, so no doubt your father is busy.  The word is that they are tossing anyone who is ready for Whites into uniform.  I hate to think what that means.  According to a very reliable source, Jisa actually, they believe that the first sign of action will be this spring but they will not be ready for a full out assault until late fall, early winter.  I hope you have enough time._

_In some happier news, and the Lord and Lady know we could use it, Medren has stopped playing matchmaker for a little while.  Herald Mia has taken a fancy to him.  Of course Mia goes directly for what she wants which means he is doing a charming impression of a hunted deer.  Stef thinks it is all in good fun._

Lance laughed.  As far as he was concerned it was very good news that Medren was involved with someone else.  And Mia was a good match for him.

_I asked your mother to teach me how to fight.  I am starting to wonder if it was a mistake, every inch of me aches but she says I am improving.  Mia is teaching me some better techniques for riding and is helping me prepare Whisper.  In the first week I fell off so many times I was certain I had discovered every inch of that ring with my battered bottom.  _

Lance reread the passage.  "Do you see this?"

_:She asked your mother to teach her how to fight.  You did tell her you thought she should be able to fight.:_  Carmia pointed out.  _:It is all for the good.:_

"What if mother is as hard on her as she is on her other students?"  Lance asked worriedly.  "I don't want her hurt."

Carmia heaved a sigh.  _:Are you going to be like this the entire trip to the border?  Afiona does not need to be protected, she needs to learn to fight and your mother is the best candidate.  Besides, she is a healer so she can patch herself up.  I have no doubt that she could withstand much more pain than you could without breaking.:_

Lance grumbled but didn't respond.  

_ I know you were worried about me before you left, I want to tell you things are getting better and I don't want you to worry.  And Carmia, remind him to make certain you meet your dietary requirements and don't you neglect your hooves, a lame Companion is the last thing Valdemar needs!  I have to go, Nico is demanding a story, again._

_Take care,_

_Afiona_

Carmia snorted in amusement.  _:I am glad she thought to write to both of us, not even other Heralds think of that.:_

"She is special."  Lance agreed.

_:You look like a love sick pup.:_  Carmia observed.

Lance tucked all the letters in his saddlebag.  "Thanks for your unasked for opinion."

_:Ah, Heartling.:_  Carmia sighed.  _:I think you two would make a lovely pairing, But you should be glad that it hasn't gone farther yet.  It is harder to leave behind a lover than a friend.:_

Lance shot a glare at her.

Carmia shook her forelock out of her eyes and ignored his glare.  _:Now, since you are done with the letters, grab a brush.  I am positively _itchy._:_

 __


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Rissa watched her pupil muddle through yet another drill.  Afiona might be a great healer but she was dismal with weapons.  They had tried swords, knives, staffs, and axes now and she had been beyond clumsy with all of them.  With each failure she sensed Afiona starting to feel more defeated.  Afiona was by no means weak, for her size she was actually very strong, but she dropped the sword, nearly taking off her own foot, cut herself with the knife, which was dull, and broke a mirror with the axe.  The staff had resulted in Rissa seeing stars when the tip of it caught her in the temple as Afiona turned around.  She had no doubt that given time, and lots of it, Afiona would become proficient with at least the staff, but Rissa sensed Afiona needed something she could master a bit quicker.

Afiona sank onto a bench, the staff left on the floor where it had tangled with her feet.

Rissa sat next to her.  "I'll give you one thing, you are hilarious to watch."

Afiona looked up.  "At this rate I will do the work for them and accidentally kill myself."

"Just because you don't have an aptitude for weapons doesn't mean you can't learn.  I think we just need to teach you to move first.  You move too hesitantly."  Rissa assured her.  "I think we will focus on the staff for now."

Afiona glared at the offending piece of wood.  "Good idea, no sharp edges."

"Also the principle is fairly simple, hit them, and don't get hit."  Rissa said lightly.  "Did you hear back from Lance yet?"

"No."  Afiona's shoulder unconsciously dropped.  "I just sent it yesterday; he wouldn't have gotten it by now."

Rissa smiled slightly, she had pulled in a favor from a Herald with a strong Fetching gift to have Afiona's letters delivered to her son.  He probably got them this morning if not last night.  "I am sure we will hear from him soon."

Afiona straightened.  "I better get going.  I have to meet Mia."

Rissa was well aware that Mia was teaching Afiona riding in the mornings; they had to be careful that they didn't exhaust her for her patients.  "See you tomorrow morning."

Afiona grimaced.  "Tomorrow."  She promised as she left the salle with a slight limp. 

Rissa stood a bit more slowly; she was not as nimble as she once was as these early mornings reminded her.  For a week now she had spent every morning, before breakfast, with Afiona.  In just those few days she had come to respect Afiona as well as like her.  She even came to understand some of why Lance was so drawn to her.   

Putting away the staff that had nearly succeeded in breaking the legs of her student she surveyed the salle.  She wondered how many of the students she was teaching or had taught would be heading south in the coming months and how many would die.  

What if one of them was Lance?  She shivered and tried to banish the image of his broken body from her mind.

~ * ~

Afiona was still limping when she reached the stable and Daric.  Nico was entertaining everyone by acting out one of the little stories he liked to tell about what he considered to be great adventures.  Mia was leaning against the wall as Nico scampered and scurried like a mouse, a creature he thought was fascinating, she couldn't hear his narration but it was amusing all the same.

"You look like you lost a war."  Mia commented.

"I did, with a stick of wood."  Afiona grumbled.

Mia chuckled.  "Relax, and give it time."

"She can barely keep from laughing.  Why don't we just stick with one thing?"  Afiona grumbled.

"She is testing to see if there are any weapons you have an aptitude for and to see if your movements have been hampered at all by your old injuries."  Mia explained.  "You've barely started so don't get worried about progress yet.  Are you ready to ride?"

"No, but that isn't about to stop you from tossing me in the saddle."  Afiona leaned against the wall across from her.  

Nico didn't pause in his narration; the mouse was now running from the cat who liked to chase it, as the women spoke, but Afiona Felt him trying to cheer her up.

"Have you seen Medren lately?"  Mia asked with a wicked grin.

"Yes, last night actually.  He said something about a predatory female."  Afiona admitted.  "I think you are scaring him."

"What do you suggest then?"  Mia asked curiously.

"Court him.  Give him flowers, sing him serenades, that sort of think should catch his attention."  Afiona suggested.

"Like wooing a virgin."  Mia chuckled.

_:What's a virgin?:_  Nico asked with the second sense all children seem to have for topics there parents would rather not discus.

Afiona shot a glare at Mia.  _:It's an adult thing.:_

Nico wrinkled his nose.  _:I won't be a virgin.:_

Daric's eyes grew wide at the statement and he snorted in amusement.  Afiona wasn't nearly as reserved, she laughed until her eyes watered, drawing a confused look from Mia.

"He wanted to know what a virgin is."  Afiona explained, gasping for breath.  "And he swears he will never be one."

Mia giggled.  "With those big, beautiful eyes I doubt that will ever be a problem for you."

Nico posed for a second under the praise.  _:Tavers says I am gonna be big too because Mama-Afi takes good care of me.:_

Afiona scratched his ears lovingly.  "You are very special."

Daric nuzzled Nico in agreement.  _:And you know it.:_

_:I got a Mama-Afi and no one else does.:_  Nico agreed.  _:We play now?:_

"We have to do a bit of work first."  Afiona pushed away from the wall.  "You can watch us."

"I'll see you in the ring."  Mia warned as she left.  "I have to saddle Lika."

Afiona nodded her understanding, making her way to the tack room for the unpartnered Companions.

_:I work too.:_  Nico said seriously and preceded them to the tack room.  Afiona collected the relevant gear; hackamore, saddle, and blanket, quickly so she wouldn't be seen.  Daric stood patiently while she saddled him but Nico kept charging at sun motes and getting in the way.

_:The attention span of a butterfly.:_  Daric commented as Nico stumbled and ended up in a tangle of legs.  Undaunted the colt struggled to his feet and continued his game.

_:He is happy, right?:_  Afiona asked as she tightened his girth.

_:Very.  You are a wonderful mom.:_  Daric assured her sincerely.

_:You know, we are one very strange couple.:_  Afiona commented as she led both Companions outside towards the riding ring.  _:You didn't Choose me because I am Nico's mother, did you?:_

Daric snorted in derision.  _:No, most definitely not.  I knew you were my Chosen before I knew you were raising Nico.:_

Afiona relaxed a little and scratched his ears.  

_:How is Operation Nosey Bard progressing?:_  Daric asked changing the subject.

Afiona chuckled.  _:He has been feeling like a hunted deer but I think he is very interested.  Medren swears he knows how his uncle Vanyel felt when his mother, Lady Melena, hunted him.  I doubt he has ever been the pursued, at least not like this.:_

_:Mia certainly has a way of catching and holding attention.:_  Daric agreed.  _:I was thinking a serenade under his window would be amusing.  But if she were to suddenly stop showing an interest he might be set even more off balance.:_

Afiona shrugged.  _:I feel bad for manipulating him like this but he just never backed off.  Not even when I came right out and asked him to.:_

_:I think he was trying to 'fix' things for you.  From what you have told me of your relationship he often stepped in and fixed things for you.:  _Daric tried to offer her some insight.

Afiona paused.  _:Back then I needed it.  I couldn't have done it with out his help.  There were times when a sigh would have me scurrying for a corner.:_

_:And look at you now.  You order around Heralds and Companions like a general.  You have stood up to the Healers.  You are a favorite with the Companions.  You have come a long way.  It doesn't seem like you have so very far left to go, does it?:_  Daric caressed her cheek affectionately with his velvety nose.

Afiona grinned and draped her arm over his withers.  "Thanks.  That makes things seem a lot easier."

~ * ~

Afiona tried to roll over into a more comfortable position only to find Nico wedged firmly against her back.  Demon had the front with his head on her arm, snoring softly.

She was restless, she wanted to get up and take a short walk but it wasn't worth disturbing Demon and Nico.  She was eager for the day when Nico would sleep standing next to the bed rather than on top of her.  It wasn't as bad as the first few weeks where Nico needed constant attention and slept for what seemed only a few minutes at a time.  Now he only woke her two or three times during the night.

Demon growled at some dream rabbit and twitched in his sleep as he chased it down.  

After a long day of tending patients and working with the foals under two years old, helping their immune system and seeing that they were all healthy, she should have just fallen asleep but instead she lay there staring at the ceiling.  

Daric was sleeping, she could sense him on the other side of the heavy wooden door.

Wriggling she tried to free one leg from the tangle of blankets.

What she really wanted was someone to talk to she realised.  If Medren was remotely sensitive to mindspeech she would have spoke to him, but even if she could it would only draw his attention back to her.  

_If Lance were here I'd see if he had time to talk,_ Afiona admitted silently.  But then she didn't need someone here to talk to them.  She was actually smiling as she let herself drift into a trance.

When she opened her eyes she was standing at the foot of her bed.  She could See the pulsing glow of the three figures in the bed.  Normally she blocked this way of Seeing.  She could see the ghostly form of her body only because she expected it to be there.  When she was finally taught how to do this she was surprised to discover most did not see this spirit-body.  Unlike a true body she felt no pain in this form unless she was trapped in someone else's body, then she felt what they felt.  

Focusing her thoughts on Lance she felt herself being pulled through the night, as fast as the wind, towards the south.  When she finally stopped she was inside a small wooden building with no windows and only one door.  Carmia was standing in the corner, her head hanging as she slept.  Lance lay on the bed, reading a book by the light of a small travel lantern.  By the creases on his brow it was not a pleasant book.

_:Lance?:_  Afiona said hesitantly.

Lance jumped, his book falling to the floor with a thump that woke Carmia.  "Who's there?"  He asked.

_:Sorry, its me, Afiona.:_  Afiona quickly explained.

Lance lay back down.  Afiona could feel the nervousness and the pleasure he felt at her sudden intrusion.  _:Is something wrong?:_

_:Oh, no, I was…just hoping you had time to talk.:_  Afiona said hopefully.

_:I was just reading.:_  Lance glanced down at his book.  _:How's your training with mother going?:_

_:I am completely hopeless!:_  Afiona said with a touch of defeat.  _:I nearly killed myself with the staff, not to mention what happened with the sword.  We are lucky we didn't have to call a Healer to patch me up.:_

Lance chuckled.  _:It will get easier with practice.  No doubt you are nervous so you will be clumsy, but as you gain confidence you will become more graceful.:_

_:Lance, I spent the majority of my life cowering in corners, I have never been graceful.:_  Afiona said dryly.  __

Lance was obvious not pleased with her comment, he looked angry.

Afiona would have bit her lip, if she could.  _:I shouldn't have said that.:_

_:Why not?:_  Lance immediately looked worried.

_:Because you looked mad.:_  Afiona admitted.

_:Looked…:_  Lance repeated and looked around the room.  _:Exactly how did you see how I looked?:_

_:I have far sight.:  _Afiona reminded him.  _:I can see you quite clearly.:_

Lance swung his legs over the edge of the bed.  _:Where are you?:_

_:Look to your left, I am about four feet from you.:_  Afiona explained.  _:You can't see me.:_

_:Don't you find it draining?:  _Lance's eyes focused on the spot she should have been.

_:Less draining than trying to sleep with Nico and Demon.  They have me pinned so tightly I can barely breathe and I couldn't sleep.:  _Afiona moved to sit on the edge of the bed next to him.  He had no idea she moved.  It was odd but this was actually easier than when he had been near her in the flesh, she felt safe.  Of course no one could touch her in this state.  She was fairly certain that was why she had fled to it so often in her youth.  _:You look tired.  You should get some sleep.:_  Afiona's transparent hand moved to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes but passed through him.

He shivered slightly.  _:Where are you now?:_

_:Beside you.:_

Lance studied the space where she was sitting.  _:This kind of reminds me of being haunted.:_

_:Do you want me to leave?:_

_:No!:_  Lance assured her quickly.  _:Unless you are getting tired.:_

A chuckle interrupted them.  _:You two are so adorable.:_

_:Carmia!:_  Lance glared at his Companion.

Carmia blithely ignored him.  _:How is my grandson?:_

_:Oh, happy as a lark.:_  Afiona assured her.  _:And trying desperately to make everyone happy.:_

_:Soon you will have to teach him to sleep standing up.:_  Carmia chuckled.  __

Afiona agreed ruefully.  

_:When are you going to visit your cousin?:_  Lance asked.

_:After Demon dies.  If I am not needed, then I will go.:_

_:And if you are needed?:  _Lance asked.

_:If I am needed in Haven of course I will stay.  But Tashir's Companion is the best suited for our problem.:_

_:What problem:  _Lance asked with concern.

_:Nico is a mindhealer, and a powerful one at that.  He is still a baby but he has been trying to make me happy by thinking happy thoughts at me.  I guess that explains why I have charge of him for now.:_  Afiona sighed.  _:He is such a sweetie, and he means well, but it is getting awkward.  He is manipulating almost everyone.:_

_:That is…not good.:_  Lance said uncertainly.

_:You are the master of understatement.:_  Afiona said dryly.

A strange internal tugging interrupted her before she could say anything more.

_:I have to go.:_  She said as she felt herself pull northward.  When she opened her eyes she found Nico and Demon still sandwiching her, both still sleeping.

_:Daric?:_  She called, guessing the source of the pull.

_:What happened?:_  Daric half demanded.

_:I just wanted to talk to someone so I went to see Lance.:  _Afiona complained.

She Felt Daric's mental sigh of relief.  _:I was worried you had another nightmare.  Sorry for interrupting then.:_

_:No problem.:_  Afiona wriggled, trying to get more comfortable.  _:Thank you anyway.:_

Outside Daric studied the sturdy door thoughtfully.  _:Would there be room for me in there?  It is getting cold.:_

Afiona laughed and shoved Demon, who awoke with a grumble and shifted enough to allow her to pull herself out of the blankets.  Tiptoeing across the cold floor she opened the door and was blasted with the icy air.  Daric gave her a helpless look, quivering like a leaf.

"Big softy."  Afiona accused but stepped aside to allow him entrance.

The room, once too large for her needs, felt cramped with the Companion.  She grabbed a towel she used to dry Nico after tumbling in the snow and brushed off the snow that clung to his back and mane.

_:How is Lance?:_  Daric asked as he leaned into her strokes.

_:He is in good health.  I miss him though.:_  Afiona sighed.  _:I thought you were sleeping otherwise I would have talked to you.:_

Daric nuzzled her arm affectionately.  _:You don't have to worry about my feelings, Chosen.  I am glad you are still trying to reach out to him.:_

Afiona gave him a warm hug.

_:Mama-Afi.: _ Nico scrambled out of bed and looked around frantically before seeing her and his papa in the center of the dim room.  _:Papa!  Want to play?:_

Afiona sighed and rested her forehead on Daric's neck.  _:It is _not_ play time.  It is _sleep_ time.:_

Nico looked at his father hopefully.

_:It is sleep time.:_  He echoed firmly.

Reluctantly he let Afiona tuck him back into bed.

Afiona paused to survey her strange little family.  She had come a long way from the little waif she had been.  Tugging blankets and rearranging her pillows she crawled back into bed.  This time she had no trouble falling asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Afiona checked her bag of supplies one last time before she started on her rounds today.  There was a new Companion in her care now, a mare that had been burned on the Karsite border, which she need certain salves for.  

Demon, sprawled behind her heaved a sigh and rolled on to his back.  _:Scratch now.:_

Afiona paused to scratch his offered belly and was rewarded with several swipes of his tongue.  _:Are you coming with me today?:_

Demon seemed to consider it for a moment.  It was a cold, windy day-- his favorite kind to avoid, so she wasn't expecting it when he rolled to his feet.  _:Coming.:_

Afiona scratched his ears and led him from her bedroom, which she privately referred to as a stable, out into the bright white light of the afternoon.

_:She hurt you.:_  Demon grumbled, noticing the limp she had acquired from yet another lost battle with a weapon, this time it was a shield, she had dropped it on her foot.  It was just one of dozens of bruises she had collected, most were from sharing her bed with a foal and a dog that kicked in their sleep.

_:I hurt me.:_  Afiona corrected and pulled her cloak tighter.  _:Don't you dare hurt her.:_

Demon paused to grab a few mouthfuls of the fresh snow as he plodded along next to her.  

Afiona paid little attention to her surroundings as she considered her newest patient.  The poor mare would be scarred for life, but the odds were good that she would survive.  She had the salves to keep the healing skin moistened and to easy the pain, the powders she wanted mixed with the mare's water, a painkiller and a mild sedative.  She had seen the mare the night before when she had arrived but she also wanted to do a more thorough exam in the full light of day.

Demon's growl alerted her to danger just as a shifting shadow caught her eye.  Stepping back a crossbow bolt split the air where she had stood.  Her first reaction was to freeze and pray she wasn't noticed.  Fighting her first instinct she shifted her grip on the handle of the bag and quickly located her attacker.

"You bitch!"  The handsome man snarled.

Afiona's heart quailed at the sight of her brother.  Demon launched himself for Gelird, his teeth bared.  Reacting faster than either Afiona or Demon expected Gelird swung the empty crossbow at Demon, connecting with his head with a horrible crack.

"You bastard!"  Afiona growled as Demon collapsed.  She didn't pause to consider her actions as she charged for him, dropping the bag of medicines on the ground.  Before Gelird could react Afiona wrapped her strong hands around his throat.  She saw true fear in his eyes but it didn't register.  It was almost as if it was someone else's hands.  "You bastard."  She hissed again.

He swung the crossbow wildly and connected with her shoulder before he dropped it.  Afiona's grip tightened.  She didn't hear the shriek of equine rage as Daric galloped to the rescue, followed by Nico.  She was oblivious to everything.

~ * ~

Jisa gasped and staggered at the first wave of fear, she had no doubt the source, she had been worried Afiona would have another panicked fit for several weeks now.  The wave of anger had her grasping the wall for support.  Someone was in a killing rage and they didn't care if they were broadcasting.

"Love?"  King Treven quickly grasped her elbow, steadying her.

"Afiona."  Jisa gasped out.  "She is in trouble."

"The Healer who is raising the Companion?"  Treven asked.  "Is he in trouble?"

Jisa fortified her shields and straightened.  Not bothering to answer her husband's question she ran quickly to the nearest exit.

Tavers met her at the doorway and let her swing onto his back before he charged off through the snow towards the disturbance.

~ * ~

Afiona froze when she realised what she was doing.  Releasing her hold she stepped back quickly.  Her brother stumbled, grabbed his throat with one hand and glared at her.

Pulling a dagger from his belt he grabbed her unresisting arm.

Afiona pulled back instinctively and barely avoided the arc of the blade.  Taking the thin blade she carried with her she stabbed it into his upper arm and withdrew it quickly.  He released his grip on her and she stumbled back farther, still holding her small weapon.  Before he had a chance to recover she used one of the few moves Ricca had taught her that she had never mastered in the salle and kicked the blade from his hand.  She barely had time to kick it out of his reach before a pair of silver hooves seemed to descend from the Havens above and crushed his skull.

_:Bad man!:_  Nico cried as he rounded his father's enraged form.

Afiona hurried forward and turned him away from the damage the deadly hooves had inflicted as Daric landed a second and third blow to the now prone form.

"It's alright sweetie."  Afiona crooned.  She kept his head shielded by her chest and moved him farther away.  _:Stop it!:  She screamed mentally at Daric, penetrating his rage like a knife._

His hooves slammed into the ground for the last time, clear of the mangled body, his entire body shaking.

She heard the thunder of more hooves as the other Companions, alerted by Daric's reaction, arrived.  The pushed close around them, a mare thoughtfully placing herself between Afiona and the body of her brother.  

"Afiona?"  Jisa's voice reached her over the concerned Companions and almost immediately they parted to allow the King's Own passage.  "What happened?"

Afiona realised she was still shaking as she stepped away from Nico.  "My brother.  He tried to kill me again.  I nearly killed him."

"Nearly?"  Jisa echoed.  "What happened?"

"First I choked him, I think.  Oh gods, Demon!"  She pushed past Jisa to find the dark shape in the snow.  She gathered the dog into her arms tenderly.  _:Demon?  Oh Gods, please be alright.:  She begged silently as she started Healing him._

Demon opened his eyes slowly. 

"What is going on?  We felt the—" A man clad in green pushed past the Companions.  He didn't even glance at Afiona's huddled form but moved immediately to her brother.  "What happened to him?"  He demanded of Jisa.

"He tried to kill one of your own."  Jisa said coldly.

_:Mama-Afi?:_  Nico said tremulously and scurried to her side.  _:Demon?:_

More Healers, alerted by the emotional blasts arrived, as did the Heralds alerted by their Companions.  The Healers congregated around Gelird, trying to preserve the small spark of life.

"Leave him."  Afiona ordered without looking up from Demon.  

"How can you say that?"  Geina, the Healer closest to her asked accusingly.  "This man is dying and here you are trying to save some damn dog!"

Afiona stroked Demon's fur, ignoring the blood that stained her fingers that still seeped from his ear, more oozed from his nose.

Demon recalled the days when he had first met Afiona.  They were fuzzy memories but they were some of his first good memories.  Back then she had held him just as she did now.  She had welcomed him when she was a shy outcast as well.  She had given him love that he had returned with all his heart.  He tried to lick her hand but lacked the energy, or the strength, to reach it.

She bade him to hold still and stroked his face.

Demon remembered the last time he had encountered this bad-man.  He had tried to hurt his Afiona.  Then he hadn't saved her, but this time he had been determined not to let him touch her.  He might be an old dog but no one was going to hurt his Afiona.

He sighed--he felt so tired.  He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep.

_:Tired.:_  He said simply, but fought to stay awake.  He could sense his Afiona needed him still.  

_:I know.:_  She said with sorrow.

Demon blinked again.  It was strange, he could see two places now, one with Afiona holding him, the other a broad green field.  He could smell the rich wildlife that teemed in the field, the rabbits, and the deer, even the mice.  He wanted desperately to get up and run in the grassy meadow.  If Afiona could only see it she would want to run there too.

_:Field.:_  Demon tried to explain.  _:Rabbits. We get the rabbits?  Hunt?:_

Afiona buried her face in his fur.  "Go get the rabbits."  She urged as tears swept down her cheeks to mingle with his blood.

Demon tried to wag his tail as the pull of the field grew strong.  It had been many days since he and Afiona had hunted together.  _:Come.:_  He urged.

_:I can't:_  Afiona felt his growing weakness.

Demon's feet twitched with the urge to run but he didn't want to leave Afiona.  _:No go.  I stop bad-man.  I stay.:_

_:You stopped him forever.:_  Afiona assured him.  

_:I no bite him!:_  Demon protested quickly, his dim memories of the cages that had been his life before Afiona rescued him filling his mind.

_:I know.  You are free, no one will ever put you in a cage.:_  Afiona assured him.  __

_:I go?:_  Demon asked.  _:You come tomorrow?:_

Afiona knew he never understood exactly what tomorrow was, just that it was after a sleep.  _:You go.  I will come too someday.:  She urged as her fingers curled painfully in his fur._

She felt the moment he died.  It seemed that his body had lost all spark.

"Did you hear me?"  Geina demanded.  "Instead of trying to save that stupid dog you could save this man from dying."

Afiona raised her head and glared at her.  It seemed that everyone stilled as the pair faced off.  "Why would I save him when I want nothing more than for him to die and leave me alone forever?"  She asked coldly.

"You _want him to die."  Another Healer echoed, aghast at the concept of a Healer longing for someone's death.  "Because he killed a pet?"_

Afiona eased Demon from her lap and stood with her fists at her side.  For a moment rage buried her grief as she listed off his past offences.  "Because he would have tried to kill me again.  Because he has tried to kill my cousin.  Because he is a sadistic bastard who delights in causing pain.  Because I have _felt_ the pain he causes."

Nico pressed himself against her side, not understanding her rage and his attempts to calm her failing.  _:Please stop.:  He pleaded._

Afiona threaded her fingers through his mane.  "Perhaps before you go getting all righteous you should consider why a Companion thought it necessary to trample him in front of his own son."

"Obviously there was good reason."  Mia said in Afiona's defence.  "Afiona has good reasons for wanting him dead.  His attack on her is enough reason for me to want him dead."

"If she says he is better off pushing up lilies that is good enough for me."  Rissa agreed.  

"We are talking a man's life here."  A Healer pointed out gesturing to the crowd of Healers tending him.  "Don't you care that he is dying?"

"I assume that is your brother."  Jisa said before anyone else could leap to her defence.  

Afiona nodded.

"He is a traitor and was condemned to death already for one attempted murdered of Afiona five years ago as well as the attempted assassination of her cousin, Lord-Herald Tashir."  Jisa said loudly enough to be heard by all.  "Bard Medren was witness to the entire evening if you wish to ask him.  Tashir pronounced his sentence the day after the attack, while Afiona was still lying abed from a stab wound to the back."

Afiona winced at the memories.

"If he has tried to kill her in the past why haven't we heard of it?"  Geina demanded.

"Because I didn't want to tell you."  Afiona answered.  "My own brother tried to kill me, do you think I am going to yell it to the world that _my own brother hated me enough to kill me?"  More tears coursed down her cheeks as she turned and pushed her way through the crowd._

Nico hurried after her.  

The Healers gathered around the body of Gelird stepped back as their efforts proved fruitless.  

"You idiots."  Mia said succinctly.  "You don't have any faith in her at all, do you?  Perhaps if you had had some faith in her she wouldn't have rebelled against tending humans."  She pushed her way through the crowd toward the Bardic Collegium.  She made straight for the room she knew Medren was using, hoping he was there.  

Pounding on his door loud enough to wake the dead she earned a quick response as Medren with his lute in one hand opened the door.  "What on earth is it now?"  He asked warily.

"Afiona needs you.  Her brother just attacked her.  He's dead but he killed Demon.  And then the Healers turned on her."  Mia explained quickly.  

"Damn it."  Medren swore as he placed his lute on his bed and snatched his winter cloak off a peg by the door.  "Where was she heading?"

"I don't know.  Towards the stable maybe."  Mia said helplessly.

Medren led her back outside and instead of heading to the stable he headed for the gardens on the near side of the river.

"Do you have any idea of where she is?"  Mia asked. 

"Probably in a garden.  They used to be her sanctuary."  Medren explained then he thought of something else,  "Was she hurt?"

"No, but as I said, he killed Demon.  She looked so shattered."  Mia hesitated.  "At least I don't think the blood was hers, oh gods."  Her urgency increased as she searched around them frantically.

"I hope this doesn't send her back to hiding in corners."  Medren said ruefully.

The patch of bright green, stained black in some patches caught Mia's eye.  Afiona sat deep in one of the ornamental grottos with her bloodied cloak pulled tight around her.  She sat perfectly still-- they could barely tell she was breathing.

"Afiona!"  Medren called and half climbed, half slide down to her after Mia pointed Afiona out to him.  He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.  "I'm so sorry."  He whispered to her.

Mia took a seat on her other side.  She stroked Afiona's hair comfortingly.  "He's dead.  They didn't bring him back."

Finally a sob shook Afiona's shoulders.  "He killed Demon.  I wasn't paying attention.  I could have stopped him."  She choked out. 

A wash of snow hit them.  _:Mama-Afi, Demon won't wake up!:  Nico said plaintively as he clambered down to them.  _:Why won't Demon wake up?:__

Afiona raised her head and wiped the tears from her red swollen eyes.  "I am so sorry baby."  She stood and embraced him when he reached her. 

Nico could feel the deep well of grief within her and decided it was best to save his questions for his papa or when Mama-Afi was feeling happier. 

Mia glanced at Medren quickly.  It was obvious that he felt the pain as sharply as she did.  Once again she wondered what lay between the two.  "Let's go inside."  She finally suggested.  

Afiona kept her arm draped over Nico as they started back up the slope.  Daric waited for them and immediately fell into step on Afiona's other side.

"I can't believe that idiot tried for her again."  Medren said quietly, only Mia heard him.

"The King's Own said something about that.  I can't believe those pigheaded idiots."  Mia shook her head in disgust.  "Can you believe the Healers were giving her hell for not healing that prick?  He tries to kill her and she is expected to just shrug it off?  And I _know there is more to the tale than just one incident.  Stef told me her brother was still alive, I should have told the others.  Then we could have watched for him."_

"Stef told you?"  Medren repeated.

Mia gave him a withering look.  "Stef and I are friends.  He told me only in confidence but when it became obvious she was trying to keep you from meddling by distracting you, he thought she should have someone who is aware of her past.  Besides, he had lots of information on the Mavelans that you probably don't have."

Medren still did not look pleased.  "I guess we will be going to visit Tashir soon.  She was putting it off until Demon died."

"Actually, he is coming here.  We wrote him; Lika and I that is.  We prefer she stay here and if she needs Tashir's Companion then we will provide him."  Mia carefully didn't mention that Afiona was Chosen.  The Heralds were still pretending ignorance.

Up ahead of them Afiona leaned heavily on Daric's broad shoulder, her arm draped over his withers.  She had gone from the soul wrenching grief to numbness in the last few minutes.

_:We'll get you into bed.:_  Daric told her.  _:Unless you want a bath.:_

Afiona shook her head.  She didn't want either of them.  She didn't want anything.

Daric wished he could take this pain from her.  _:Nico, Mama-Afi is very sad.  Can you make her tired too?  She needs to sleep to feel better.:_

Nico was obvious surprised at the request.  _:I make Mama-Afi happy?:_

_:No, just tired.  Some sads people have to muddle through on there own or they never feel really happy.:_  Daric tried to explained.  _:We will just remind her that even if she is lonely with Demon gone she is not alone, alright.:_

Nico was obviously still confused about Demon's death and the other events of the day but he was willing to let the topic rest until his Mama-Afi was able to answer his questions.

Almost immediately Afiona yawned and slumped further against Daric before finally slipping to the ground, sound asleep.

"Afiona!"  Mia and Medren both cried as they ran for her prone form.

_:Nico made her sleep.:_  Mia's Companion, Lika, explained. 

"Don't worry, Nico made her sleep."  Mia quickly relayed.  "Let's get her inside."

~ * ~

Afiona peered around the corner before hurrying down the hall to her room.  Her chubby feet made little sound on the stone floors.  She clutched her precious bundle against her chest praying it would remain silent.

Reaching her room she pushed the door open and quickly shut it behind her. 

"Here we are, kitty."  Afiona said as she put the tiny grey kitten down.  

With it's tiny tail as erect as a flagpole the kitten surveyed his new domain before heading straight for the narrow bedagainst one wall.

Afiona grinned and hurried after it.  One of the wanted children had grabbed the kitten by the scruff his neck and thrown it out a window, where Afiona had been digging in the dirt and planting a few seeds.  He had landed upon Afiona's back, scratching her with his needle sharp claws and yowling like a demon.  

Afiona immediately smuggled the kitten to her room, feeling a kinship with the small creature she could not explain.

The kitten hopped up on the bed and Afiona scrambled up next to him and gently stroked his velvety fur.  

"I love you."  Afiona whispered to it.

The cat turned his round, golden eyes on her and meowed then started to purr happily.

She giggled and nuzzled his fur.  She had a dim memory of a story about a boy named Nicodimus.  "Nicodimus, is that a good name?"  The kitten purred all the louder and rubbed his face against her returning her love in full measure.  Afiona giggled and stroked his soft fur.  

Suddenly the room darkened, it seemed much larger and colder than it had been just moments before.

The door opened and a creature of shadows strode into her room.  The half grown kitten, now larger than just a moment before, hissed at the intruder, situating himself between Afiona and her brother.

"What have we here?"  One large hand picked up Nicodimus by the neck.  He only managed to squawk as he was raised.

Afiona crept backwards, hunching her shoulders.  Her eyes filled with fear.  "A kitty."  She whispered.

"Who said you could have a kitty?"  Gelird sneered.

"No one."  Afiona crouched down further against the wall.  Gelird seemed to grow in height.

"That's right, no one.  Because no kitty is bad enough to deserve you."  He curled his lip in a harsh sneer.  

"I'm sorry."  Afiona whispered fat tears trembled on her eyelashes before making trails down her cheeks.  "I don't mean to be bad."

Gelird's hand covered most of the cat's small head.  He paused, relishing the fear he drew from Afiona.  With a wrench the kitten's neck broke.  He dropped it like a broken toy.

"No!"  Afiona cried and rushed to the broken body.

She pulled it onto her lap and whispered to it, trying to make it awaken.  "Nicodimus, wake up!  Please."

"See what happens when you touch something?"  Gelird asked condescendingly.

Afiona looked up at him, then back down at the kitten in her arms, only to find a large black dog.  Her arms tightened around his body.  "No."

With an internal wrench she found herself standing in the same room she had dreamed of.  Now it was its normal proportions.  The small bed in the corner no longer had a mattress.  There was no longer a wardrobe in the corner.

Afiona sank to her knees and buried her face in her hands.  It had been years since she had dreamed of the kitten, Nicodimus, but for once her nightmare did not end trapped in her brother's mind.

"I'm free."  She whispered to herself.  "I'm free."


	24. Chapter 24

-Chapter 24-

Afiona slowly opened her eyes to find Nico sprawled with his head on her chest.  By the fire Mia and Medren occupied two of her new chairs.  Daric stood next to her bed, his great blue eyes filled with worry.

_:I saw your dream.:_  He said bluntly.  _:He was wrong.  Nothing bad happens to those you touch.  Something bad happened to those _he_ touched.:_

_:He killed Demon just because Demon was protecting me.  Demon should have stayed behind, he would have been safe.:_  Afiona protested mournfully.

Daric nuzzled her forehead.  _:Demon was obviously sent to protect you.  What kind of protector would stand aside when the person he loves is in danger?  Go back to sleep, I will keep watch.:_

Afiona shook her head and sat up.  Nico woke immediately and scrambled to his feet.  Medren and Mia both abandoned their chairs and rushed to her.

"How are you feeling?"  Medren asked.

"Worn out."  Afiona admitted.  "It wasn't another nightmare, was it?"

Mia shook her head.  "I wish I could say it was.  I am sorry about Demon.  I know how much he meant to you."

Afiona nodded listlessly.

Medren picked up a tray from the hearth and crossed over to the edge of her bed.  "You need to eat, you are too thin already."

Afiona felt a flash of annoyance at his tone but obliged him by drinking some of the tea.

"I can't believe those pig headed idiots."  Mia fumed.  "Quite frankly, they should all be drawn and quartered.  Or at least receive a good hard kick in the—"

Medren shot a glare at her and she fell silent.  "Would you like any books or anything?  I could play some music."

Mia studied Afiona's face.  "Actually, I think we should have the good grace to let her rest."  She grabbed Medren by the arm.  "She needs to work through this on her own."

Medren started to protest, which was cut short by Mia grabbing him by his ear and dragging him forcefully out of the room.

Nico watch them leave then turned back to Afiona.  _:I get Mama-Afi a surprise.:_  He said gleefully and pranced over to the basket of toys.

Afiona could feel his happy little thought-mutterings as he searched through his toys before finally choosing one very mauled blanket that rested at the bottom.  Afiona had given him the blanket several months earlier in hopes that he would start sleeping standing up.  Instead he had insisted on having it draped across his shoulders so he could change his color like Afiona did.  He cherished the scrap of fabric and rarely let anyone handle it.  

His ears were perked and his tail held high as he pranced back to Afiona and deposited the ragged blanket on her lap.  _:Blankie will make Mama-Afi happy.:_  Nico informed her happily.  _:Mama-Afi can have Blankie tonight.:_

Afiona gathered the horse smelling blanket in her hands.  It was liberally covered with Nico's and Demon's fur.  Tears well up in her eyes and she blinked rapidly to clear her vision.

"Thank you."  Afiona choked out.

Nico flopped down on her lap, making her gasp.  His hooves left more bruises on her shins.  He rested his chin on her shoulder, his soft breath tickling her ear.  _:I go find Demon now?  Tell him wake up?:_

Afiona lost the battle and the tears streamed down her cheeks.  "I am sorry sweetie, by Demon can't wake up.  He is gone."

_:Gone where.:_  Nico demanded in confusion.  _:We go there too?:_

_:When someone goes there, they don't come back, but they wait for us to join them.:_  Daric explained.

Afiona sobbed and clutch Nico closer.

_:Where is he?:_  Nico demanded.

_:He is in the Havens now.:_  Daric tried to explain without scaring his son. 

_:We go too?:_  Nico asked, obviously wanting to be reunited with his friend.

Daric sighed, at a loss for what to say.  

_:We have to live our lives before we can go there.:_  Afiona explained unexpectedly.  _:You have a lot of life to live before you can go there, so does Papa and I.:_

_:But Demon waits?  Will he miss us?: _  Nico obviously felt no fear about his parents leaving him.

_:Of course he will.  And we will miss him.:_  Daric assured him.

_:Will Mama-Afi be sad for always?:  _Nico asked worried.

_:Just for a little while.:_  Daric assured him.

Nico sighed.  _:Demon is sad too then.  He likes Mama-Afi happy too.:_

Afiona wiped tears from her eyes and tried to smile for Nico's sake.  

_:Hug, Mama-Afi.:_  He urged.

_:Big hug.:_  Afiona agreed and gave him a big hug.

_:Bigger hug!:_  Nico urged.  _:Then you go see the hurt.:_  He urged.  His hard knee collided with her stomach, forcing the air from her body.  __

"Shoot!  I forgot all about her!"  Afiona gasped as she tried to reclaim her breath and gave Nico his 'bigger hug'.  She was surprised to find she had been dressed in a nightgown but shrugged it off.  She didn't even remember how she got into bed.

She grabbed a new uniform from the wardrobe and dressed quickly.  Someone had returned her bag of supplies.  A quick inspection revealed the contents were undamaged from being dropped in the snow.  She bit her lip as she remembered Demon getting out of the tangle of mattresses and blankets that morning, his tail wagging but his steps stiff.

_:Chosen?:_  Daric asked uncertainly.

_:I never expected it so suddenly.:_  Afiona admitted.  She wiped the tears off with one sleeve.  _:I'll be alright.:_

Her cloak was missing, but it had probably been taken away with the bloodied uniform.  Pulling her uniform tight around her she hurried out into the snow.  Nico and Daric followed closely behind her.  A detached part of her mind imagined they made a rather odd parade.

She was shivering when she reached the warmth of the stable.  Nico, who had been abnormally subdued, stayed at her side rather than hurry on to greet everyone.

The Companions eyed her as she passed, she could feel their pity but ignored it.  She went immediately to the closed stalls at the end of the aisle.  Daric stared near the outer door. 

She knocked on the door before entering, the Companion, a sweet little mare, looked at her mournfully.  Nico knew he was not allowed inside these stalls and stayed outside.

"Sorry."  Afiona mumbled as she placed the medications off to the side.  "I would have been here earlier but something came up."

The mare nodded.

Choosing the package of powders she had prepared earlier out of the bag she placed them into one of the two buckets of water she had ordered.  "Drink some of this when you start to feel some pain."  Afiona ordered.  "It does contain a sedative so it will help you rest.  If it gets to be more than you can bare just have Daric summon me."  Afiona fell easily into the routine of tending her patients.

"I know this is going to be hard on you but you have to stay put until the burns recover enough to actually go outside."  Afiona stroked an undamaged part of her neck.  

The careful wall of calm and confidence she erected kept the grief at bay as she examined the Companion.

~*~

Daric watched Nico standing intently at the door, obviously trying to 'think happy thoughts' and Afiona.  He knew Afiona had strengthened her shields to keep him out, either consciously or unconsciously.

_:Hey gorgeous.:_  Lika greeted him as she sidled up to him.  _:How is she?:_

_:She is doing alright.  She is doing better than Medren thought she would do.  Speaking of Medren, does Mia know where he is?:_  Daric asked.

_:She released him into Bardic.  She says she will try to keep him distracted and will watch Nico tonight, if Afiona wants some time without fending off happy thoughts.  Speaking of which, is our darling doing his happy thoughts right now?:_  Lika eyed the focused colt intently.

_:Yes, regrettably.  He likes Mama-Afi happy.  He isn't doing it as strong as he could, which is an improvement.  I will tell her about Mia's offer.:  _Daric assured her.  _:I think she may take her up on it.:_

Lika remained silent for several moments.  _:It must be hard on you, to have Chosen and not have everyone know.  I would hate to be in your place.  And then for her to be so…burdened.  She is a wonderful lady, she doesn't deserve everything she has survived.:_

_:She is incredible.:_  Daric agreed.  _:And that is my completely biased opinion.  I dare those Healers to disagree.:_

Lika bobbed her head in agreement.  _:But she is ours now, even if they don't know it yet.  I was thinking, she has taken care of most the needs for the Companions, we don't need her as much right now, except the injured of course.  We don't want her feeling useless, of course, so why don't you suggest she start helping out with the younglings, I mean the new Chosen.  She is a mindhealer.:_

_:She may have the power but she does not enjoy wielding it.:_  Daric explained.  _:And certainly not on humans.:_

_:I wasn't suggesting she use it, the children don't need that.  But their teachers are all on edge because of Karse and she could at least talk to the ones who are feeling it the most.  Or is she not, uh, well enough for that?:_

_:She is well enough, but she is not comfortable around children.  She has never had exposure to them.  Maybe there is some other place she could help out.:_

Lika tilted her head to the side as she considered the options.  _:Lance's father, the Dean, he is unassuming and nonthreatening.  He is also running himself ragged, she could help him.  I know he wants to get to know her better since his son is so interested in her.  And Tashir should be here in a couple weeks so Leshya will be able to help with teaching our darling.  Or should we just let her grieve in peace?:_

Daric knew if left alone for too long she would start to dwell on Demon's loss.  _:I think it would be better if we kept her busy.:_

_:Why don't you suggest it when she is done here?  Tell her that it would be wise to learn more about Companions and their history so she can teach Nico better.:  _Lika suggested.

_:Excellent.  Suggest she go to the Dean and try to learn what she can from him.  If he needs help I know she will step in.:_  Daric felt better now that he had a plan for helping her cope.  _:Thank you, Lika.:_

_:No problem honey.:_  Lika said flirtatiously.

~ * ~

Afiona gave her patient one last reassuring pat before leaving.  The mare was already sleeping, aided by the sedatives Afiona had put in the water.  It was better that she sleep, it would allow her to heal faster and escape the pain without the use of the stronger drugs in Afiona's collection.

Nico whickered happily as she emerged and rubbed his head against her chest, nearly knocking her over.

Afiona reflexively scratched his ears.

_:Afiona, I was thinking, you have a few candlemarks available right now, why don't you go talk to the Dean, he should have some books on the history of Companions and maybe their abilities.:_  Daric suggested.  _:Mia has volunteered to watch Nico and Medren tonight.:_

"Thanks, but maybe another day."  Afiona said with a shake of her head.  "Right now I want to be alone."

_:I'll take Nico to Mia then join you.:_  Daric conceded.

"I want to be alone."  Afiona repeated and stepped out into the gathering dark.

She felt as frozen as the mounds of snow around her, like she had used all of her emotions and was completely tapped out.  She pulled her robes tight about her as she made her solitary way back to her room.

Her room was dark, except for the small fire on her hearth that some one must have started for her.  She shed her robes slowly, the fabric dampening as the snow it had gathered melted.

Underneath she wore an old shirt that had stains that refused to be removed and breeches that had been repaired so often that they were held together with patches.  Even these she removed until she stood naked in the center of her room.  Picking up a blanket from her bed, which someone else had made in her absence, she curled up on the chair facing the flames.

A knock on her door didn't even make her jump.  

"Come in."  She called, not taking her eyes from the fire.

The door swung open revealing not Medren, who she expected, but Stefen.

"How are you holding up?"  He asked as he entered and closed the door behind him.

"I'm fine."  She shrugged.

"Liar."  Stefen said succinctly.  "You look like you are in shock."  He pulled up one of her other chairs and sat next to her, staring at the flames.

"I just want to be alone."  She repeated. 

"I promised Lady Treesa I would come here and check on you.  And half the Herald population is outside, worried about you."  Stef ignored her.  "Rissa sent a packet of letters that arrived today for you."  He produced the letters he had been given from inside his tunic and set them on the arm of her chair.  "Don't wait too long before talking to someone, alright?"  

She didn't respond.

"I am not leaving until you promise."  He warned.

"Very well, I promise."  She conceded.

Stefen didn't move immediately.  "You are the strongest, bravest woman I know.  Don't you dare talk yourself into being fearful again."

She looked over at him doubtfully.

"I'll let you rest now.  But may I suggest that before you invite someone else in you put something on?"  He said without censure.

"I'll lock the door behind you."  She assured him.

Stefen leaned over and placed a kiss on her temple before leaving.  As soon as the door shut behind him she got up and locked both it and the external door then pulled the curtains shut on her little window.  It felt almost as if she was in a cave.

Curling back up under her blankets she fiddled with the stack of letters before she finally opened one of the three.  The top one was written in her cousin's familiar hand.  Despite a similar background he seemed uncomfortable with her now.  Break the seal she positioned herself so she could read by the light of the flames.

_Dear Afiona,_

_Leshya and I have decided to come to Haven for a stay.  We are looking forward to meeting your colt.  I should be there a couple weeks after this letter arrives.  I hope you are in good health._

_Tashir_

Afiona refolded the short letter and set it aside in favor of the second letter.  This one was thicker and she could feel something shift about inside.  Breaking the seal three small charms fell out.  Ignoring them she read the letter.

_My Dear Afiona,_

_You can't imagine how relieved I was to receive your letters.  Carmia is very grateful that you wrote to her as well and hopes Nico is not running you ragged.  I hope you ask for help when you need it._

_How's my mother treating you?  I hope there aren't too many bruises._

_Is Nico sleeping standing up yet?  Carmia says he should start soon.  What does he think of the snow?  Is he still ambushing you, demanding stories?  Carmia has a thousand other questions she wants me to write but I only have so much paper and so little time._

_Sorry, had to stop there for a bit, where was I?  Right, Carmia's thousand questions.  The most pertinent is how is everyone?  Healthy we hope.  _

_Have you had anymore nightmares?  If so, feel free to visit until you have calmed down.  Or just come and talk._

_I don't know how much you know about what's going on down here but it does not look good.  Every day more men are injured in little skirmishes.  The Karsites have declared us demon users, like we would if we could!  A fellow Herald thinks it is because they need some outside enemy to unite against._

_I hate holy wars._

_They captured a Healer a few weeks ago, we thought she was dead but we just found her this morning.  They tell me she used her healing gifts until she was too drained and died.  There have been reports of captured Healers being forced to use their gifts but we never suspected it was to such an extent._

_We don't have many spies over the border right now, too dangerous; if they are caught they are burned, after being tortured.  _

_I'm sorry, it is just really weighing on my mind right now._

_I picked up a few gifts for the three of you.  Most are too big to go back with a messenger so they will have to wait until we are sending a person up north.  I will include the three charms I picked up.  They are very popular down here.  One is for Nico, so the grooms can tell him apart from the other colts and not lock him in a stall again, like they did shortly before I left, one is for you, and one is for Demon._

_They are for guidance, luck hunting, and protection.  The one for guidance is for Nico, of course.  The hunting one is for Demon.  And the protection one is for you._

_I hope you all enjoy them._

_Take care of yourself, I am eagerly awaiting your next letter._

_Lance _

Afiona's hands were trembling as she read the last two paragraphs and picked up the three charms.  The one intended for Demon had two hunting dogs captured in mid run after unseen prey.  Her eyes blurred with tears as her fingers caressed the warm metal.  One of the dogs actually had Demon's shaggy look.

A sob burst out of her throat and whatever had kept her emotions at bay broke.  Her entire body started to quake as more sobs were wrenched from her throat.

She clenched the charm so tightly that she could feel the dogs impressed on her fingers.

She buried her face in her arms, helpless to stop the flood of emotions.

_:Afiona?:_  Daric asked gently.

_:Not now.:_  She snapped.

She felt him withdraw.

It seemed hours before the flood ebbed, leaving her exhausted and lonelier than she had felt in years.

She pulled the blanket tight about her and rested her head against the side of the chair.  The fire danced lazily in the hearth, she stared at it for several long minutes before taking a deep breath and began the process of entering a trance.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Lance was sitting on the edge of his bed, a piece of damage armor in his hands.  He was completely focused on the simple task of repairing the rent.

_:Lance?:_  Afiona's mindvoice wavered.

He set aside the armor and looked around.  "Afiona?  Decided to pay me another visit?"  He asked with a welcoming grin.

_:My brother came back.:_  Afiona said in a rush.

Lance did not know much about her family, she normally avoided the subject.  "What happened?"

_:I was walking to the stables and he tried to shoot me with a crossbow.:_  Afiona explained, her spirit-self sat on the edge of the bed next to him.  _:I moved just in time, but Demon charged him…:_

"I assume your protector gave chase.  Demon isn't the type to let anyone hurt his lady and let them walk away."  Lance said lightly, hoping to ease her mood.

_:He killed Demon.:_  Afiona sobbed.  _:The bastard killed him!:_

Lance groaned.  He could not have said anything worse, he was sure.  "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say, I am truly sorry."

_:I know.:_  Afiona sniffed as she pulled her .  _:I just got the charm you sent, it even looks like Demon.:_

"Damn it."  Lance muttered.

_:No, don't feel guilty.  It's wonderful, really, I adore it.:_  Afiona quickly assured him.  She struggled with how she could reassure him.  _:I just needed someone to talk to and I am very sorry for coming here and making you feel guilty, it was the last thing I ever intended to do!  You have nothing to feel guilty about.  I am just a ninny.  I'll let you get back your mending.:_

"No, please stay.  I miss talking to you."  Lance wished he knew if she was still there or not.  

_:Are you sure?:_  Afiona asked uncertainly.

"You said you wanted to talk to someone, I would like to be the person you talk to."  Lance assured her.

Afiona was glad tears couldn't blur her vision now.  She reached up with one transparent hand to caress his cheek.  _:I'll stay then.:_

Lance moved so his back was against the wall and his legs were stretched out across the bed.  Afiona slid across the blankets so she was next to him.  She knew she would never dare this if she were here in the flesh.

_:I thought my brother was gone for good.  Tashir told me that he made certain my brother would never bother me again.  Maybe he was just saying that because he didn't want me to be scared.  He is a very nice man.  Of course he is a Herald.:_  Afiona started.  _:He's dead now, not Tashir, my brother, Gelird.  Daric killed him.  In front of Nico no less.  The Healers are all angry because instead of trying to help save him I was trying to save Demon.  I don't feel guilty though, I feel…free.  Does that make me evil?:  _The last bit she never meant to ask.

"You are the least evil person I know."  Lance assured her.  "I only know a little bit about your past, but if he is responsible for even one of those scars he doesn't deserve your guilt.  It maybe because I am a Herald and not a Healer, but I don't think you are even remotely to blame for his death.  Demon deserved your help more that your brother ever could."

His obviously heartfelt answer made her smile.

_:I was expecting him to die, but it wasn't the same.  It was…too quick.:  _Afiona tried to explain.  _:I held him in my arms as he died.  He was still worried about me at the time, he wanted me to go with him.  I told him I would go tomorrow.  He never understood what tomorrow meant.:_

"You aren't going to…"  He couldn't bring himself to finish the question.

_:No, I am not about to kill myself.  Nico would never forgive me if I did.:_  She explained.  __

"I'm glad to hear it."  He said with relief.  "I wouldn't forgive you either."

She smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek.  He jumped and touched the area.  

"Did you just kiss me?"  He asked.

_:I have to get back to my self now.  I was exhausted before so I have no doubted I am going to have a reaction headache now.:_  She said as she left.

When she opened her physical eyes again she found herself looking at a pair of white clad legs.  

"Someone fetch a healer!"  Someone ordered as he shook her shoulder.  "And none of those prigs that were there today."

"What the hell?"  She said in confusion and pulled the blanket tighter.  Her room was filled with people, again.  "What is it with everyone coming in my room?"  She spied her door, leaning suspiciously off the hinges.  "Not again!  Haven't you heard of keys?  I know the housekeeper has the key.

A Herald she didn't recognize looked sheepishly back at the door.  "Sorry, we were, uh, worried."

Afiona straightened in her chair.  "This is becoming a habit.  Every time I want to be alone someone comes in or breaks my door down!"

Rissa held up a small vial.  "We found this empty by your hearth, did you take something?"

Afiona glared at her.  She was too angry to be scared or embarrassed.  "It's bath oil!"

"Bath oil?"  Someone repeated.  "Why didn't you answer?"

"Because I was in a trance.  I wanted to talk to a friend."  She twisted her head to glare at him.

There were eight Heralds in her small room, they didn't take up nearly as much room as Daric but it was still crowded.  They were now wearing matching expressions of chagrin.  Even Rissa quickly put the small vial down on the hearth.  "Well, sorry for interrupting."

Afiona waited until everyone was out, the last Herald went to close the door only to have it release its hold on the last hinge and crash to the ground.

Stefen squeezed past him and stared down at the door then at her.  "What happened?"

"I didn't answer so they invaded."  She said wryly.  

He noted her bloodshot, puffy eyes and slumped shoulders.  He had been worried that she had sank into depression after seeing her earlier but now she looked like something had been released.  

She actually chuckled.  He stared at her in confusion.

"Sorry."  She gasped as her chuckle turned into a laugh.  "It's just every time I am naked someone breaks down a door."

Stefen echoed her grin and took a seat in the other chair.  

"They thought I had poisoned myself when they found an empty both oil bottle.  Can you believe it?"  She rested her chin on her hand and eyed the broken door.  

"I'm glad you are feeling better."  Stefen commented.

"I'm exhausted, puffy, and my head is starting to pound so I am not sure if I feel any better now than I did before."  Afiona pointed out.  "Lance sent me some charms, one was for Demon."  She held out the charm.

Stefen examined it.  

Afiona picked up the other two charms.  The one she assumed was for Nico was carved with a star, the one for her was of a man dressed in armor holding a woman in a gown.  "That rascal!"

"What?"  Stefen held out his hand and chuckled when he saw the carving.  "I would say he is courting you."

"I know he is.  Now what god does that charm appeal to?"

Stefen grinned and handed it back to her.  "I have seen one before.  It is usually given from a man to his love when he is leaving for war.  It is actually mentioned in a few songs."

Afiona blushed.

"The reason I came to disturb you was I was going to beg some food from the palace cooks and wondered if you wanted any."  Stefen handed back the charms.

"Something sweet, but no jam."  Afiona said as she stood and crossed the room to examine the damage done to her door.  "Don't you dare make this into a song."  She warned as she tried to get the door up without the blanket going down.

"I'll do that."  Stef offered and moved to take the door from her.  "I'll bring you back cake or something."

"Thanks."  She waited until he had the door propped into place, with himself on the outside before quickly dressing.  Now that she wasn't angry she could feel her cheeks flush with embarrassment.  She yawned as she settled back into her chair, with the three charms in her pocket.

When Stef returned he found her slumped in the chair, fast asleep.

~*~

Afiona was stiff and sore the next morning as she dressed and hurried to the salle.  It was odd not to have a Companion in sight but she assumed Daric was with Nico and Mia.

Rissa looked up as she entered.  "Didn't expect you today."

"I need to do something or I am going to go mad."  Afiona said wryly as she started to stretch.  "I talked to lance Last night."

Rissa turned so Afiona would not see her smile.

"I am an empath."  Afiona reminded her.

"So how is he?"  Rissa asked.

"He's well."  Afiona explained.  "He is very worried about what's going on past the border.  He mention in his letter that you don't have many spies in Karse right now."

"No, we don't, the locals are too scared to spy for us and we can't get anyone in without raising suspicion."  Rissa admitted.

"What about me."  Afiona stopped stretching.

"I beg your pardon?"  Rissa looked confused.

"I have farsight, I can see all the way to the far side of Karse if need be.  Why don't I spy for you?"  Afiona held her breath, awaiting a reaction, any reaction.  She had been toying with the idea ever since she reread Lance's letter that morning.  "He told me about the Healer they found."

"He should never have mentioned that."  Rissa said carefully.

Afiona looked down and her shoulders bowed.  "I mean it.  I know I can help.  And I am not doing it because I feel guilty for disappointing the Healers, I don't, well I do but not enough to do this.  I am offering because I can help.  I have been helping the Companions for years.  I can even heal to an extent when I am Farseeing, and I certainly can kill if the need arises."

"It's the Healers who should feel guilty.  And I think a few do.  The Heralds are making certain they understand why you knew the dog was worth saving and the man wasn't."  Rissa assured her.

"You don't think I can do it."  Afiona sighed.  "I can feel it, you doubt me."

"Child, look at your history.  We need you hale and whole to heal our Companions."  Rissa said sincerely.  "Seeing some of the atrocities of war is not going to be good for you."

Afiona rolled her eyes.  "It's history.  I never have to worry about it again and it is not a good reason to reject my offer.  Do you think anything I see there is going to be worse than what I see in my nightmares?  Let me prove it to you."  She sat on the bench.  

Before Rissa realised what was happening she slipped into a light trance.  "Oh, ye gods."  She muttered as she knelt carefully next to Afiona.  

"One hundred men, sixty horses, in a large field, then trees, past holderkin land."  Afiona muttered.

Rissa knew that the Karsite were blocking Farsight somehow.  It was not a well-known fact, yet.  But somehow Afiona could see them.  

"There is a priest, he is dark, like his heart is black, like Gelird's.  He has a black robe.  He is in a large tent marked with a sun on the side.  He is talking to someone, a peasant."  Afiona continued.  "The peasant is scared, he does not want to be there, he is scared for someone else.  I think they said Valdemar.  The man is cowering.  The priest is pleased but he is acting angry.  He is giving orders to someone."  Afiona remained silent for a few seconds.  "The messenger has gone to another tent.  It has a bed and a desk.  The man inside looks like he is high ranking.  Lots of gold.  He has a map on his desk.  It has the Valdemar border.  There are red marks in the map.  And numbers.  The one closest to the border has a hundred fifty and a twenty.  There is a piece of parchment on the desk, it has a seal of a sun, like on the priest's tent.  I can't read it."

"Afiona, wake up, you convinced me."  Rissa shook her shoulder.

Afiona sighed and opened her eyes.  "Was any of it helpful?"

"Come with me."  Rissa ordered as she stood.  Afiona had to jog to keep up with Rissa as she lead her through the Herald's wing to the Palace itself then up some stairs.  Two men flanked the pair of doors she finally stopped at.  "Tell them I have a solution."  Rissa ordered the one on the right who nodded and stepped inside.  He reappeared almost immediately and waved them in.

There was six men and two women gathered around the table.  Afiona recognized Treven, the King, and Herald Joshe, the Seneschal's Herald but the rest she was unfamiliar with.  

"Well, Herald Rissa, you said you had a solution."  An older man said.

"I do.  Is there a map of the border in here?"  Rissa approached the table.  Someone handed her a rolled map, which she spread out and gestured for Afiona to come forward.  "Show them where you saw the markings."  She handed Afiona a quill and stepped back.

Afiona glanced around at the grim faces and bent over the map.  Turning it so it matched what she saw she made the marking as best she could remember them.

"By the Havens."  One of the women said as she leaned over.  "Where did you see this?"

"In a tent.  It was in Karse."  Afiona said uncertainly.

"She dropped into a trance on me and started telling me what was happening in a Karsite encampment.  She spied on a priest and a captain without being detected."  Rissa said bluntly.  "She even read off one of their maps.  _She was not blocked_."

"How is this possible?"  The man who had greeted Rissa first asked.

"She is a Healer.  Her farsight probably piggybacks on her Empathy which cannot be blocked.  Afiona, could you give them a little demonstration?"  Rissa asked.

Afiona nodded and took a seat on a chair.  She knew from past experiences she tended to fall over if she tried to trance standing up.  Everyone watched intently as she took a deep breath.  "There is a small group of men, no more than twenty five.  They are all mounted.  They are dressed like Valdemarans but their swords match the ones I saw at the Karsite camp.  I can't understand them but they are not nice men.  They are dark, and fanatics.  They are in Valdemar I think.  Just a moment.  I can see a village.  There are children speaking Valdemaran.  There is an inn with Lakebridge Inn written above the door.  There are perhaps forty houses and one guard outpost."

"Lakebridge?"  Treven grabbed the map Afiona had recreated the marks on.  It took him only moments to locate the town.  It was well behind where the army was stationed.  "Is there any more men?" 

Afiona remained silent for so long the group started to worry.  "No other men that I see.  There is a Herald, I recognize the stallion, Arisk.  He is not far from the village, a lot closer than the men."

"Someone find out who Arisk's Chosen is."  Treven ordered.  "Warn them to get to the village now."

Afiona frowned.  "Arisk, go south, there is a village with an inn called the Lakebridge inn.  There are men approaching."  She paused for a moment.  "This is more important than the message."  There was another silence.  "He has a message from the front.  He doesn't know the contents."

The people in the room exchanged amazed glances.

"Have them put it someplace safe."  Treven ordered.

"Put it in the waystation that you will pass on your left, someone can pick it up."  Afiona paused again.  "I don't care if he is trying to turn you around, I think these men are Karsites now get your tail going!"

Rissa grinned openly.  "Well?"

"Later you are going to tell me where you found her."  The man in charge said.

"She is Healer Afiona, the one tending the Companions."  Treven explained.  "Afiona, can you wake up now?"

Afiona sighed and relaxed then opened her eyes.  She quickly stood up.  She shifted uneasily when she realised she was the focus of nine pairs of eyes.

"Well Healer, welcome to the War Council."  The older man said as he leaned over the map table.  "Now tell me _exactly_ what you saw in that tent."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Afiona was surprised to find only Daric waiting for her in the stables.  His head hung low and she could hear him actually snoring.

She wanted to talk to someone about everything that had already happened that morning, and it was barely light outside.  Collecting his brushes she started grooming him.

_:That feels good.:_  He commented sleepily.  _:Mia won't make it for your riding lessons.  I'm afraid Nico just fell asleep.:_  He raised his head and blinked slowly.  _:And he had to keep telling me how sad you were and how much he could help you.  If there hadn't been doors in the way you would have had to fend off his happy thoughts.:_

Afiona smiled and continued to detangle his mane.  "I thought about what you said last night, about me staying busy."

_:You are going to help the Dean?:_  Daric asked hopefully.  He could feel she was exhausted, but he had no idea why.  _:Did you sleep?:_

"Eventually.  But first I visited Lance.  He sent me these beautiful charms."  She fished a chain out from under the collar of her shirt and showed him the three charms.  "One each for Demon, Nico, and I."  She explained.  There was a slight catch in her voice as she spoke.  "In his letter he mentioned they have a very hard time getting any information out of Karse.  So I volunteered."

_:What!:_  Daric had visions of her being captured by the Karsites.

"I have Farsight, and I can See most of Karse."  Afiona pointed out.  "I already convinced Rissa that it's a good idea, and the Lord Martial said I was an answer to a prayer.  I want to help."

_:Afiona, what if you're caught!:_  Daric said with obvious alarm.

"That is a risk everyone takes.  I may not wear Whites but that doesn't mean I can't help Valdemar like every other Herald."  Afiona said softly.  "Besides, knowing that what I see can help save lives makes me feel less helpless."

_:Afiona…:_  Daric said plaintively.

"What would you have done if you knew you could fill a need?"  She asked.

_:I would try to fill it.:_  Daric admitted.  _:But, with Demon, and your brother, and everything.:_

"And with war on the horizon, and people dying I have to do everything in my power to help."

Daric was of two minds, as a Companion he expected her to do exactly what she had done, but as someone who knew and loved her he did not want her risking her sanity.

"Daric, love."  Afiona smiled and draped her arm over his neck.  "I can hear you.  I am not risking my sanity.  If I was hiding in my room I would be risking my sanity."

_:At least you are only watching from a distance.:_  Daric said, more in assurance to himself than to her.

"It seems that because I am also a powerful Empath I can See through whatever they have blocking us."  Afiona explained with a bit of triumph in her voice.  "I actually found some Karsites shielded _inside_ Valdemar.  And I rerouted a Herald to deal with them.  The Lord Martial thinks they were going to try to make it look like a group of bandits attacked to distract the army.  Maybe to divert troops from the border."

_:Makes sense.:_  Daric admitted.  _:Out of curiosity, why do you feel helpless?  You are a brave, strong woman who has faced more than any _man_ I know.:_

"I'm not strong."  Afiona corrected.  "Stefen said he thought I was strong too, but I 'm not.  Everyone is always protecting me and what kind of Herald needs to be protected?"

_:A human one.:_  Daric pointed out. 

"Mia doesn't need protection, neither does Rissa." Afiona pointed out.  "This at least I can do to protect others."

_:You protect others.:_  Daric protested.

"When?"  Afiona challenged.

_:You tried to protect Demon.:_  Daric said, grasping at straws.

"Demon died because I failed to protect him and because he felt he had to protect me!"  Afiona snapped.

Daric felt like an oaf for not realizing it before, she felt guilty for failing to protect Demon and was trying to ease that guilt by protecting everyone else.  _:Afiona, you protected Nico.  I had totally forgotten he was following me, you stepped in and shielded him.  And you protect your patients from further harm.  A Healer is just a different kind of warrior.:_  Daric rushed to assure her.  _:And Rissa and Mia have both been rescued.  That is what Heralds do, protect Valdemar and her people, and most definitely each other.: _

Afiona didn't look convinced.

_:Look at Ara, that Companion who you tended last night, it is your strength that protects her from infections and perhaps even death.  And Nico, you protected him from possible death when he was born.  You are not a swordswoman or an archer or anything like that but you protect others every time you use your Gift.  When others are forced to stand aside and watch as someone suffers you can step forward and help.  You have survived things other people can't imagine; that has given you great reserves of strength.  If I had lived through what you have I doubt I could ever bring myself to trust anyone else.:_  Daric grappled for more words.  _:Do you think everyone else hasn't felt helpless?  I have watched you struggle with yourself for months and I have been helpless to help my own Chosen.  I nearly lost you yesterday.  Your brother was armed and you were not, and you are untrained, when I saw him with that knife I didn't know if I would make to you in time.  I had never felt more helpless in my entire life.  Then when the Healers blamed you there was nothing I could say or do to protect you.  Later it was Nico who could help you by making you sleep and Mia and Medren who could carry you inside.  You are the dearest person in my life and there was nothing I could do to help you.:_

Afiona was stunned at his speech and was amazed as a large crystalline tear trailed out of his eye and down his satiny white cheek.  She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his mane.  They stood like that for several long moments.

"I didn't realize…"  She started to say.

_:Neither did I.  I never knew you felt so helpless.:_  Daric rubbed his cheek on her shoulder.  

Afiona wiped her eyes on her sleeve.  

_:I wish you had told me sooner.  I was trying not to pry, I noticed it annoyed you when Medren tried to help and I didn't want to alienate you.: _ Daric admitted.  _:This is still all new to me too, I have never Chosen before.:_  

Afiona remained there for several silent minutes before straightening.  "If Mia isn't going to make it I better go see to Ara."  She said finally.

_:I expect Nico will be up soon, it is after his feeding time after all.  I think I will sleep until then.:_  Daric said as he stretched.  _:Hopefully it will be long enough for you to finish with Ara.:_

Afiona stroked his neck one last time before she left to find her patient.  Ara stood in her stall with her head hung low and her sides shuddering with each breath.  Afiona sensed the mare was not interested in any small talk. That was all right, Afiona wasn't either.  

"Don't worry, it will ease soon."  Afiona assured her.

The mare raised her head.  Large tears rolled down her long face.

Afiona used the hem of her shirt to wipe away the tears and stroked the mare's forehead.  There was a buzzing at the back of her mind that told her the mare was upset enough to broadcast her thoughts.  She collected a cooling salve from her ever-present medical bag and a soft, clean cloth.  The mare sighed as the first of the cool ointment touched her flesh.

"I know it hurts."  Afiona said softly.  "This will help numb your back."  As her hands deftly eased the pain in Ara's burns she used her Healing gift to undo some of the damage to the skin, thankfully there was very little damage to the muscles.

As she gently massaged the ointment into the damaged flesh she realized Daric was right.  She may never swing a sword with any talent or know which end of the shield is supposed to be up but she had the ability to protect her patients from dangers others could never stand against.

The knowledge felt good, as if she had banished a bit of darkness from her heart.

~ * ~

For the next week she found herself busier that ever.  In order to make her spying more informative they insisted she learn Karsite.  Her lessons with Rissa continued, they were just pushed to a candlemark earlier, as was her lessons with Mia.  Nico followed her about except when she had to spy for the Council, and then he was handed over to his father or some Herald that didn't mind telling a story to keep him occupied.

Of course her spying was not to be discussed with anyone, which resulted in Medren becoming even more worried and bothersome.

Lady Ashkevron heard of Demon's death and her brother's reappearance and subsequent death and showed up at her door with more clothing and swearing that Afiona would always be like a daughter to her.  Afiona accepted the teary condolences as gracefully as she could manage and let Treesa think she was fine.

The Healers continued to give her a cold shoulder.  Even the few she considered friends no longer sought her out.  Once even her request for medications had been 'forgotten' until she reminded the healer rather forcefully that they were deliberately harming another living being and risking a Herald's life when they denied her medicine.  Her old quarters in the Healers that had been reserved for her when she moved back were given to someone else.  

The Heralds, however, treated her like one of their own.  Three times she was invited to join a group that were heading into the city to relax for a while.  The Dean dropped off plenty of books of children's stories one night and offered to baby-sit Nico anytime she needed to be alone.  After they had repaired her doors someone had made her a sign to hang on the doorknob to tell everyone she was having a bath and was not to be disturbed.

Afiona didn't realize the rift between the Collegiums was deep until she overheard a patient and a Healer fighting, the patient being a Herald Trainee that had taken a bad fall and cracked his forearm.  She was on her way to assure the boy that his Companion was none the worse for the little spill when she heard the raised voices.

"She is too a good Healer!"  A young male voice shouted.  "She is a hundred times the Healer you will ever be!"

"She is a disgrace to her robes."  A young female voice of a Healer Trainee, spat back.  "I can't imagine how she managed to get her greens if she can only tend animals."

Afiona ran the last few feet to the door praying the arguing pair didn't become violent.

"What is the meaning of this?"  She demanded as she entered the room and found them squared off.

The boy drew himself up to his full height, which was several inches less than Afiona's.  "She said it was a good thing I didn't go to you or I would be stuck in the Healers for a week as they undid the damage."

Afiona turned to the girl and recognized her immediately.  She was a haughty highborn girl that was in her final year as a trainee and a good three years older than the boy.  The girl raised her chin a few inches and glared at her.  Afiona ignored the glare. 

"Asher, has she tended you yet?"  Afiona asked.

"I wouldn't let that harpy touch me."  He said staunchly as if refusing treatment was a matter of honor.

"That is enough, no name calling, you are better than that.  Sit down and let her work on you then go tend to Milvin, he is worried about you.  I don't want to hear another word out of either of you until I say so and you can be certain I will talk to both of the Deans about this."  Afiona said curtly.

"If he doesn't want me touching him I won't."  The girl said stubbornly.

"Are you refusing to Heal someone that obviously requires your aid?"  Afiona asked softly.

"He hardly needs _my _aid."  She sniffed.  "He'd rather have a pig healer than me."

Afiona bristled at the insult.  "Call me what you wish but I am still a senior Healer."  Afiona warned her.  "If you are not going to do your duty leave and I will tend him myself."

The girl stormed past her and slammed the door.

"Are you going to get into trouble?"  Asher asked worriedly.

"How can I get into more trouble?"  Afiona asked with a wry, humorless smile.  "Show me your arm."

He obediently held out his arm.

Afiona took it gently in her hands but hesitated about using her gift.

"Is it broken?"  He asked after a few silent seconds. 

"It is cracked.  Nothing to serious."  Afiona assured him.  

She was about to suggest he see Geina or another Healer when she Felt Daric in the back of her mind.  He didn't say anything to her; he only offered her his support.  "Lie down, this tends to make people a little dizzy."  She ordered.

Asher obediently stretched out on the narrow bed, leaving plenty of room for Afiona to have a seat.

Cradling his arm gently she gingerly opened a Healing bond between them.  She could Feel his guilt at being caught fighting and nearly broke the connection.

_:You can do it.:_  Daric urged, his sending full of confidence in her.

Afiona probed the area around the crack in the bone and found a small area of bleeding but nothing that had to be dealt with before the bone was mended.  She 'pulled' the edges of the bone together and forced them to knit together quickly in the same manner she had used on animals.  She started on the inside and worked her way out until the bone was nearly as good as new.  Then she fixed the minor damage to the muscle around it and released his arm.

She sensed there was someone else in the room as soon as she released the Healing trance.  It was not a pleased person either.  Standing slowly she took a deep breath but did not turn around.  She knew what was coming.  She just hadn't expected it to be someone she considered a friend.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

"I thought you wouldn't Heal a human."  Geina said coldly.

"Well, someone had to."  Afiona responded.  "Asher, go check on Milvin and I suggest you get something to eat."

He nodded and hurried from the room.

Afiona stood and met Geina's glare.  "I am still willing to turn over my Greens anytime."

"You do and we will be forced to block your powers."  Geina countered.

"You can't actually."  Afiona said matter-of-factly.  "I earned my Greens with the approval of the entire Healing Circle.  Refusing to Heal a murderer when there are ample Healers about to take my place is not grounds to strip me of my powers.  I checked the law."

"You swore to do no harm.  What do you call what happened out in the field?"  Geina challenged.

"I call it self defense."  Afiona responded.  "He was already sentenced to death for attempted murder."

"And how could you have known that a couple days ago?"  Geina asked.  Afiona saw the other Healers gathering at the door.

"Because I was the one he was trying to kill."  Afiona pointed out.  "He stabbed me in the back, it was a miracle he did not hit a kidney or my spine."

"He wasn't even sentenced by a Herald or a judge, just some backwoods baron.  He deserved to have his case before a Herald."  Geina snapped.

"Actually…"  A familiar male voice interrupted.  "He was also found guilty of attempted murder of a Herald by a Herald."

Afiona was stunned to see Tashir force his way through the crowd.  He was wearing his Whites and the Baron coronet that had once been the king's coronet when it had belonged to his father.  She knew he hated wearing it but it certainly gave him an authoritative air.

"Tashir!  What are you doing here?"  Afiona greeted him warmly.  She stepped around Geina to embrace her cousin.  "You are looking well."

"I heard about your brother."  Tashir said bluntly.  "About time someone flattened the bastard.  Were you hurt at all?"

"No, but he killed Demon."  Afiona said with genuine sorrow.

Geina snorted.  "He was a bloody dog!"

"Is she normally this thick?"  Tashir asked but didn't wait for Afiona to respond.  "He was a wonderful dog that saved Afiona not once from her own brother but twice.  I would say that he is worthy of being mourned."

Geina crossed her arms over her chest.

"Tashir, stay out of this."  Afiona requested.  "I have to settle it on my own."

"Well, if you get turned off, the Mavelan lands are yours to do with as you wish."  Tashir informed her.

Afiona stared at him.  "What?"

"I had the lands transferred to you about a year ago, just never got around to telling you."  Tashir admitted.  "I figured it's the least I could do."

"You shouldn't have."  Afiona protested then looked around at the avid faces staring at her and hurried out of the room.  Tashir followed close behind.

"How long have they been like this?"  He asked as they emerged outside to find Leshya, Daric, and Nico waiting for them.

"Well, it is only going to get worse now."  Afiona grumbled.  "I didn't tell anyone who my family was for a good reason.  Haven't you heard the saying 'as mad as a Mavelan'?"

"Oh, so now is not a good time to mention you are a lady?"  Tashir asked sheepishly.

"A what?"  Afiona repeated, looking horrified.

"I knew you wouldn't want to use the Mavelan name, don't blame you actually, so you're just Lady Afiona.  Have been ever since I found you."  Tashir admitted guiltily.  "I figured it would give you some measure of protection."

Afiona rubbed her temples, trying to thwart the throbbing that was starting to build into a headache.  "You had me ennobled?"

"I tried to have you made a baroness of the Mavelan lands, but since you were not exactly responsible at the time, the king refused.  Instead he made you a lady with the possibility of holding the lands if you recovered sufficiently."  Tashir explained.  "If you want you can burn the castles to the ground and there is nothing anyone can say about it." 

Afiona grabbed Tashir by the arm and nearly dragged him to her room where she locked the door.  "I can't accept them."

"Why not?"  Tashir asked in confusion.  "Is it because of the past?"

"No, at least not completely."  Afiona shook her head.  "I was Chosen."

"Why wasn't I told?  Why are you still wearing your greens?"  Tashir asked in confusion.

"I haven't told anyone yet."  Afiona explained.  "As a fully trained Healer I can do more than a Herald Trainee.  Especially with war on the horizon."

"Oh."  Tashir leaned against the door.  "Are you planning on going to the front?"

"I am going where my charges are going, so yes."  Afiona admitted.  "Daric agrees that is the best use of my talents."

"Daric being…?"  Tashir prompted her.

"Bardaric is my Companion and Nico's father.  And Nico is probably why you and Leshya are here."  Afiona explained.

"A Companion foal that is manipulating the moods of those around him?"  Tashir said as if reciting the description from a letter.

"He thinks happy thoughts at people that are in bad moods.  It has been helpful with a few of my patients but he does it to me as well."  Afiona explained.  "He's powerful and has a natural instinct for it, but he needs some teaching and Leshya is the only one capable of teaching him.  I've tried, but he sees me using mine to make others feel better and wants to do the same."

"How old is he?"  Tashir asked.  

"Less than half a year old, still a true baby."  Afiona said with a slight smile.  

"Leshya says he'll do what he can, but it is still going to require a lot of help on your part.  He says the foal thinks you're his mother."  Tashir raised one eyebrow invitation of an explanation.

"I am raising him."  Afiona explained simply.  "He even calls me Mama-Afi."

"So, you're Chosen, raising a Companion, feuding with the Healers, lost Demon, and killed your brother.  Anything else you never bothered to write about?"  He asked, torn between amusement and annoyance.

She nibbled on her lip.  "I am having weapon lessons and riding lessons from some of the Heralds and I spy for the crown, but other than that…"

"You what?"  Tashir asked in disbelief. 

"You can't tell anyone though."  Afiona informed him.  "I am only telling you because you are family."

"About the spying or the lessons?"  Tashir asked.

Afiona smiled.  "The spying and the being Chosen."

Tashir returned her smile.  "It's good to see you happy."

"Oh?"  Afiona asked in confusion.

"Last time I saw you Demon was glued to your side and you were acting like a frightened rabbit.  Now you are actually arguing with people."  Tashir explained.  "I think it's amazing that you have come so far."

Afiona beamed.  "You're right, I have."

"Well, cousin, I'm expected a court this evening, care to come along and help relieve the boredom?"  Tashir asked.

Afiona considered it for a few seconds before agreeing.  "Lord and Lady Ashkevron will be there, I know they will like to see you.  Lady Treesa has even managed to see to it that I have a suitable gown for the occasion."

"Wonderful.  Hope you don't mind that I intend to stick to your side the entire time, I am not one for that courtly stuff."  Tashir informed her.

"Neither am I.  But at least there will be several other Heralds there to take shelter with."  Afiona said optimistically.

"Then I better go see to Leshya and get settled myself."  Tashir said as he opened the door.  

Afiona heaved a deep breath as the door closed.

_:See, not so hard.:_  Daric said suddenly but it wasn't unexpected, he had been in her mind since the healing.  

_:Just don't let me talk my self out of going to court.:_  Afiona requested. 

~ * ~

Afiona took a deep breath as Tashir and her stopped in the doorway to be announced as the Herald-Baron of Lineas-Baires, Tashir, and the Healer-Lady Afiona.  

Afiona shot him a glare which he blithely ignored as they became the focus of all the eyes in the room.  All talk stopped as Courtiers jostled to see the newcomers.  Afiona gripped Tashir's arm tighter.  

"I do not want to be called a lady and I certainly did not wish to be announced."  She hissed.

"Better tell all now than let them discover later when they will want to prove to you that they know who you are."  Tashir explained.  "It also stops some of the speculation."

Afiona was about to remind him she never wanted the title when Jisa spotted them and waved them over to the little cluster of Heralds.  "That's the King's Own, Jisa."  She explained.

"The old King's daughter?  I've corresponded with her."  Tashir said as he guided her towards the group.

"Afiona, I never expected you to come."  One of the Heralds she had seen in passing several times greeted her.  He cast a quick, observant glance at Tashir.  "You must be the Baron-Herald.  Don't envy you one bit you know.  I have enough on my plate just being a Herald."

"Now that I have an heir I can be more Herald than Baron hopefully."  Tashir said as he extended his hand in greeting.

"How are you related to Afiona?"  Another Herald, who also a male, asked.  "You almost look like twins."

"We are first cousins.  No more."  Afiona answered.

"Afiona tell you what she did yet?"  A Herald asked with a knowing grin.

"I don't know.  What did she do?"  Tashir asked.  Afiona wracked her brain to see which rather tale he was going to trot out.

"She saved a Companion foal when his mother died trying to birth him and is now raising him as her own son.  Absolutely amazing little guy too, he actually understand human speech."  The Herald answered.

"That's ages old."  Another Herald said laughingly.  "She also gave the Healers an ultimatum, let her work with the Companions or lose her."

Tashir gave her a wry look.  "You never mentioned that part."

"That is covered by the feuding with the Healers."  Afiona responded lightly.

Another Herald sidled into the group next to Afiona.  "Healer, I was hoping you would come tonight."  He greeted her.  "Could I steal you for a dance?  I swear, I am not a bad dancer."

Afiona glanced at Tashir uncertainly.  "I'll be back in a few moments, don't you dare tell anymore stories about me."  She ordered the Heralds with a slightly strained smile.

As she was led away by the Herald Tashir turned to Jisa.  

"She's looking good."  He commented.

"She's doing better."  Jisa agreed.  "Especially now that her brother is dead.  Did she tell you she was Chosen?"

"Yes actually, but she doesn't think anyone knows."  Tashir chuckled.  "She should have known the Companions wouldn't keep a secret like that."

"Actually, they did.  Daric breaking down her door as he charged to the rescue was what let the cat out of the bag."  Jisa explained.  

"I'd love to go over and tell those idiot healers that she is ours."  One of the Heralds grumbled. 

"Exactly why are they feuding?"  Tashir asked.  "I walked in on a fight earlier at the Healers."

"Afiona doesn't feel comfortable healing humans."  Jisa explained.  "Mentally they get too close during the healing bond for her to be comfortable.  She never bothered explaining why she didn't feel comfortable with humans so they assumed she was just uncertain about her abilities and that she would come around.  After a while they started to think she was wasting her abilities on animals but it really got bad when she turned in her greens to serve the Heralds.  They allowed her to be assigned to the Companions but that is when they started to let their disgust of her show.  Then she didn't help her brother."  Jisa shook her head sadly.  "Apparently she is strong enough she could have saved him.  He may not have had much of a mind afterwards but he would have been breathing.  I can see how they would be frustrated, she's one of their strongest Healers and she refuses to help humans."

"Well, I am glad she was Chosen."  Tashir said as he glanced at Afiona dancing with the Herald.

"Don't worry, we're looking out for her."  One of the Heralds assured him.  "Our Companions have never been treated so well.  They especially like that she _insists_ they have their legs massaged after working hard."  

"Did you know some of the Healers had her cornered today?"  Tashir asked.  "They were threatening to strip her powers."

"What?"  Jisa asked, aghast.  

"They were saying she had promised to do no harm, and by refusing to Heal her brother, she was responsible for his death."  Tashir relayed.  "They even had the guts to suggest that he hadn't been legally convicted because it was the verdict of a Baron and not a judge or Herald."  

Jisa crossed her arms over her chest and the other Heralds close by who had over heard looked very displeased.  

"Where was this?"  Jisa asked after a few seconds thought.

"At the Healers.  Can you believe they didn't understand why she mourned a dog?  She is an animal mindspeaker!"  Tashir exclaimed.

"Here she comes."  One of the Heralds warned just as Afiona entered hearing range.

"I do believe it is my turn."  Another Herald stepped forward and led Afiona back out onto the dance floor as the bards struck up another dance.

She glanced at them suspiciously but allowed him to lead her away.

"Do you lot intend to keep her dancing all evening?"  Tashir asked.

"Are you kidding?  And pass up a chance to catch her eye?"  Jisa asked rhetorically.  "There are rarely this many Heralds at a court function.  They heard that Afiona was coming and all showed up in their best Whites.  Frankly I don't think they stand a chance even with Lance gone."

"Lance?"  Tashir repeated.  "Who's Lance?"

"That would be the son of Herald Rissa, the weapons teacher, and the Dean.  He's down south at the moment."  Jisa explained.  "I do believe they're courting."

"Well she never mentioned that."  Tashir said as he turned to watch Afiona, she was obviously growing more comfortable as the evening passed.  It was impossible to tell that this was the same girl who had flitted from shadow to shadow for most of her life.  "What's he like?"

"He is completely enthralled by her."  Herald Rissa informed him as she approached with Herald Mia.

"She even goes and talks to him still."  Mia added.  "Using Farsight I assume."

"I have the feeling she failed to mentioned a great deal of what's been happening."  Tashir commented, obviously amused.

Rissa looked him over critically.  "She never mentioned a brother."

"We're cousins."  Tashir corrected.

"Good, Medren was bad enough."  Rissa said bluntly.  "What're you doing here?"

"My Companion was needed to help with the foal.  I am just here for the ride."  Tashir explained to her.

"Report to the salle immediately after breakfast."  She ordered.  "I want to see what you can do."

Tashir stared at her mutely for several seconds as the gathered Heralds chuckled.  "As you command."  He said with wry humor.  He was accustomed to giving the orders, not taking them.

Rissa remained serious despite his teasing tone.  "If you think being a baron is going to keep you safe you are mistaken."

"I never thought it would."  Tashir corrected.  "I am a Herald first, it's only a coincidence that I'm a Baron."

Afiona returned to the small group, her cheeks flushed and she was smiling.  "Rissa, I thought you avoided these courtly things like the plague."

"Normally yes.  But I thought you would appreciate this."  She held out a slender, slightly battered letter.

Afiona hesitated before slowly taking the letter.  She fingered the edge but didn't read it.  "Thank you."

Rissa smiled knowingly.

Mia grinned widely and sidled closer to Afiona.  "Come on, what does he say?"

Afiona blushed.

"It must be from Lance."  Jisa teased.

Afiona turned an even brighter red.  "Yes."

"So, read it."  Jisa prodded without the slightest bit of shame. 

Afiona eagerly broke the plain wax seal.  Mia leaned over to read it but Afiona angled it away from her.  An almost blissful smile played over her lips dashing the hopes of all but the most optimistic of the Heralds that Lance's absence had left a place they could fill.

"So?"  Mia asked in exasperation.

Afiona folded the short letter and turned a glare that lacked any heat on Mia.  "That is none of your business.  Do I ask you how your pursuit of Medren goes?"

"No, but you should."  Mia said stubbornly.

"A lady never pries."  Afiona said primly.

"And since when have you been a lady?"  Mia scoffed.

"Apparently, since I was about thirteen."  Afiona informed.  "And I have my cousin to blame for it."

"Not that it matters."  Mia winked at Afiona.

Afiona quickly glanced around at the gathered Heralds to see if they understood the reference to her being Chosen and saw nothing to make her suspicious.  

"Any other news from the front?"  One of the Heralds asked Rissa.

"Nothing good."  Rissa said darkly.  "I expect some of us will be getting marching orders tomorrow."

Her words had the effect of dousing the group's good mood.

"Do you think they will send me down?"  Afiona asked seriously.  "If any Companions are being injured I should be there."

Rissa shook her head.  "You're needed here."

Afiona was about to protest when she realized it was not her healing skills that kept her here.  "Just remind them that I should be where I can do the most good."

"I'll remind them."  Rissa assured her.

Afiona withdrew emotionally, if not physically from the group.  If even one Companion was killed she knew she would feel guilty for being here where she was safe.  For the first time she wondered if she had done the right thing availing her Farseeing abilities to the Council.

_:You did the right thing.:_  Daric assured her.

Afiona jumped slightly.  _:Sorry, I didn't mean to Send that.:_

_:You didn't.:_  Daric assured her.  _:Remember how I said that I was going to tighten the bond between us?  Hearing each other's surface thoughts and feeling each other's emotions will be a side effect.:_

_:Oh.  I forgot, sorry.:_  Afiona apologized sheepishly.

_:Just remember, you can redirect Heralds out of harm's way.  You can _prevent_ the worst of the injuries.:_  Daric reminded her.

Afiona straightened her shoulders unconsciously.  _:You're right.:_

_:I'm afraid you are something of an experiment for us.  The first true test of Vanyel's Web.  What should happen is when you find danger the Companions will sense it and drag their Herald to the right place at the right time.:_  Daric explained.  _:We have a couple Foreseers involved as well.  But we don't know how close you have to be to the center stone of the web to be the most effective.:_

_:I'm not going to be preventing harm then, I'll be sending them charging towards it!:_  Afiona protested.

_:Sister of my heart, I know it is hard to accept, but you're a Herald as well and it's your duty to act in the best interests of Valdemar.:_  Daric reminded her.

Afiona was so absorbed in the conversation she didn't notice Tashir watching the play of emotions on her face or the rapid changed in her body language.

"Afiona, are you alright?"  He asked when she started to look very worried.

Afiona jolted slightly.  "I think I am going to retire for the evening.  I have some things I need to think over."

"I'll walk you to your room."  Jisa offered, startling Afiona.  "I think I may know some of your questions."

Afiona nodded and led the way from the room.  They were silent until they were out in the hall.

"You are worried about sending fellow Heralds to their deaths, aren't you."  Jisa said more than asked.

"How can I do that?"  Afiona asked.  "How can I send friends to their deaths?  I am a Healer!"

"You're a Herald."  Jisa reminded her.  "It doesn't matter what you wear, you are still a Herald.  I have sat on the Circle and on the Council as we made decisions that would send my friends into what could easily result in a dead Herald.  It's not easy, but it is necessary.  Do you think there is a single Herald who would refuse an order that would result in their deaths knowing that it would help others?  It's the price we pay for our Companions and the bond we share and now that you are one of us can you honestly say you wouldn't do the same."

Afiona and Jisa walked in silence most of the way to Afiona's room.

"You're right.  I would.  But that doesn't mean I'm willing to send others to pay that price."  Afiona said finally.

"You are only seeing the darkest consequences.  Don't forget that forewarned is fore armed.  If a Herald knows that he's going into a dangerous situation he will be better prepared and much less likely to die."  Jisa argued.

Afiona stopped at her door and leaned against the heavy portal.  

"There are also the people they will save."  Jisa reminded her.  "I am not saying you have to be alright with all this, I am just saying that if you don't do it the toll will be higher, and not just for Heralds." 

Afiona nodded slowly.  

"It's a heavy burden, but you don't bear it alone."  Jisa reminded her.

"I'll see you tomorrow."  Afiona said as she opened her door.

"Tomorrow then.  Please think about what I said.  We all know the fate of half the Heralds, we accept it, and we hope that our deaths will not be some senseless tragedy."  Jisa said as she walked away.

Afiona entered her room and sat on her comfortable chair and stared at the small fire burning merrily in the fireplace.  Daric had Nico for the time being which left only her and her thoughts.  Taking a deep breath she let her muscles relax and her heart slow.   In a matter of heartbeats she was in a trance and searching for Lance.  


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Lance was asleep, buried under blankets to his chin, when Afiona found him.  Not even in sleep did the strain leave him.  With one transparent hand she caressed his cheek and was shocked at the bolt of emotion that rocked her to her core.

Sitting on the edge of the bed she gingerly touched him again.  Laying her hand on his cheek, this time she was prepared for the fear and helplessness he felt.

It was child's play for a Mindhealer to enter another's dream.  Afiona had refused to use the ability on a human but often found the technique useful with her animal patients, giving them vague 'humans can be good' dreams to ease their fears and distrust.  This time felt different as she entered Lance's dream.  The feelings and thoughts where more pronounced and more intimate.

As his dream came into focus for her she saw him fighting not with humans but inky black bonds as just out his reach a child screamed in pain and fear. 

Afiona tried to touch Lance only to have the bonds try to enclose her as well.  Surrendering that tactic she approached the child and knelt next to it.  She knew everything in his dream represented something about him.  She was uncertain what the child meant but she knew he needed to be soothed for the dream to end.

"Hush now."  Afiona said as she knelt next to the child and caressed his brown curls.

His scream faded almost immediately and his pale green eyes focused desperately on her face.

"Don't worry, you're safe."  Afiona assured him.  "You see over there?"  She pointed to the still struggling Lance.  "He's come to rescue you."

The boy looked at Lance then back up at Afiona.  "Who are you?"

"I am Afiona.  I'm here to see you both."  Afiona explained.  "Now, why are you so scared?"

"The bad men."  The boy said as fear crept back into his eyes.

Afiona glanced at Lance.  It would appear that she wasn't the only one who carried ghosts.  She offered her hand to the boy and led him to Lance.  "You're safe now."  She said as she gathered him into her arms.  "You're safe."

Almost as if she had cast a magic spell the dream boy vanished as did Lance's bonds.  

Afiona found herself alone with Lance in what appeared to be his room.  "Are you feeling better now?"  She asked as she approached Lance who was staring at her blankly.  

"The boy…"  He said slowly looking confused.

Afiona moved closer to him and took his hand and led him the chairs by his hearth.  "He's safe now."

Lance obediently sat on the chair.  Afiona sat on the arm of the chair with her arm across the back of the chair and behind his head.

"But…he's dead."  Lance said as if he was having a hard time remembering something.  "I was too late."

Afiona rested her cheek on the crown of his head.  "I understand."

Lance rested his arm around her waist.  "How can he be safe if I was too late?"

"When I was younger, I wished I was like him, and beyond the pain of life."  Afiona confessed.  "He is where there is peace, and love, a place where his soul can heal."

Lance seemed to become more alert, as if he was realizing she truly was there.

"Did you stop the men he was scared of?"  Afiona asked.

"Yes."  He said, as if confused by the question.

"Then you weren't too late for the next victim, were you?"  Afiona said logically.  She deliberately conjured an image for him of another little boy, similar to the one who haunted him, but different enough that he wouldn't consciously see the same boy.  Instead of screaming he smiled and looked hale and healthy.  "You saved him."

Lance stared at the boy for so long she was starting to worry when she Felt the release of the harsh memory.

She threaded her fingers through his slightly too long hair as she dismissed the image.  

"I miss you."  She said softly as she let herself enjoy the illusory weight of his arm at his waist and silky threads of hair.

Lance pulled her off the arm of the chair and onto his lap where her head fell easily on his shoulder.  "Ah, if only you were truly you."  He said with slight sadness. 

Afiona was shocked that he was aware enough to realize he was dreaming.  "But I am truly me."

His beautiful, honest eyes showed he didn't believe her.

"I got your letter today."  She told him.  "There was no need to rush it to me.  I know you're sorry for the poor timing of the charms but you have no reason to be.  I carry Demon's with me everywhere.  And mine.  I put it on a ribbon and I wear it under my clothes while I work."

He still didn't look convinced.  

Afiona sat up a little straighter.  "I have to go."

Before he could protest she broke the connection to the dream and found herself sitting next to him rather than on him.  He was jolted awake, as she expected, and sat up.

"Damn."  He muttered and settled back under the covers.

_:Sorry for waking you.:_  Afiona quickly apologized.  _:You were having a nightmare and I got in a bit too deep and woke you when I got out.:_

Lance sat up and looked around.  "Where are you?"

_:I am sitting right next to you.:_  Afiona answered.  _:I better go so you can get back to sleep.:_

"No, stay."  Lance quickly protested.  "So, that was the real you I was dreaming about."

Afiona was very glad he couldn't see her blush.  _:Yes.:_

Lance looked a little worried.  "Uh, exactly what was I dreaming?  It's all rather vague…"

Afiona laughed.  _:Nothing embarrassing, truly.:_

Lance was obviously relieved.  "So, what brings you here?"

_:I wanted someone to talk to.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:Someone who is not going to give me the 'for the greater good of Valdemar' speech.:_

"I swear I won't."  Lance said solemnly.

_:I know I shouldn't tell you this but if I can't trust a Herald who can I trust?  I am spying for the crown using farsight and empathy.  Apparently the Companions will sense what I See and drag their Heralds to the rescue.  But what if someone dies?  I swore to never do harm, and dying is definitely harm.:_  Afiona explained.

"I see why you don't want the greater good of Valdemar speech.  But if someone else Saw something horrible that you could prevent wouldn't you _want_ to know so you could act to save others?"  Lance asked.

_:Of course I would.:_  Afiona said without hesitation.

"We feel exactly the same way."  Lance pointed out.  "Would you hesitate to send a Healer into a room with an ill patient that they could heal because they might get sick too?  Both Healers and Heralds have a duty and if we are harmed so be it.  Better us than some innocent child who never chose to be in that situation like we would choose to go to the rescue the second we heard the call."

Afiona could Feel he meant every word.  He was _just_ a Herald, not even privy to the big picture of the war.  _:Thank you.:_

"Did I help?"  Lance asked.

_:Yes, very much.:_  Afiona assured him.  _:I should let you sleep.:_

"Afiona, before you go, tell me about Nico.  How's he taking the loss of Demon?"  Lance said quickly.

_:He wanted to go wake up Demon for the first few days.  Then he seemed to accept that Demon could not return and he believed Demon was with you.  Daric finally convinced him that Demon has gone to a place where once you go you can't come back, but you wait for your loved ones to join you.  Then he was worried that Demon would miss us so we told him that I would write him letters to tell him everything that was happening so he wouldn't miss us so much.:  _Afiona related.  _:Now I have to write a note every morning filled with little news Nico thinks is very important and burn it so the smoke can carry it to Demon.:_

"I know Carmia will be glad to hear he hasn't been traumatized.  She's worried about him." 

Afiona settled more comfortably next to him.  The fact he couldn't see her was certainly freeing.  She was no fool, she knew that since she had the power in this relationship she now she was more comfortable with him.  _:How are you doing?  You look worn out.:_

"I am worn out.  Those are farm boys out there.  They should be plowing their fields, not using swords."  Lance complained.

_:If we lose this war they won't have fields to plow.:_  Afiona pointed out.

"That is not exactly comforting."  Lance said dryly.

_:It wasn't meant to be.:_  Afiona informed him.  _:It's the truth.  I have to go or I'll have a headache in the morning.  Try to relax some, and remember, those boys chose to be here too.  They haven't started conscription yet.:_

"Come talk more often."  Lance requested.  "If it doesn't drain you too much."  He added quickly.

_:I will.:_  Afiona promised and swiftly returned to her body.

Stretching slowly she opened her eyes and nearly shrieked when she saw Medren sitting on her hearth just feet from her.  

"Oh good, you're back."  Medren greeted her.  "Where were you?"

"Visiting Lance."  Afiona admitted. She could feel her cheeks heat with the admission.

Medren looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it.  "I brought you something."  He said instead, looking very pleased with himself.  Reaching into the shadows beside him he revealed a basket, which he carefully placed on her lap.  Curled up in the bottom was a small, fuzzy, white puppy sleeping obliviously.

"Medren…"  Afiona started to protest.

"I know how much you miss Demon so I thought this little guy would help."  Medren explained.

As if sensing he was the center of attention the puppy woke up and stared at her, then yawned.

Afiona's hands trembled as she lifted the puppy from the basket and he wiggled happily, his little pink tongue trying to reach her face.  "It's too soon."  She said sadly.  "And I don't have time for a puppy, not with Nico still demanding so much time."  She held the puppy out to Medren.

He reluctantly accepted the squirming animal.  "But—"

"He's adorable, but I'm just not ready."  Afiona begged to make him understand.  "Maybe in a few months, when the memories aren't so fresh."

Medren sighed in defeat.  "What am I going to do with him then?"

"Give him to Mia."  Afiona suggested.

Medren suddenly looked like a hunted deer.  "I'd never get rid of her then."

"You can't fool me, I know you are very flattered by her interest."  Afiona teased.  "And if you truly weren't interested I doubt she would chase you so hard."

Medren looked sheepish.  "She actually serenaded me outside my window last night!  Can you believe it?"

"Of course."  Afiona said, glad he was no longer thinking about her problems.

"And she actually left a bouquet of hothouse flowers outside my door."  Medren continued.

Afiona bit back a grin.  

"And I would love to know how she gets these little love notes tucked inside my clothing when my door is locked."  Medren continued.

Afiona lost the battle and started to laugh.

"What is so funny?"  Medren demanded.

"She said it's like wooing a virgin."  Afiona explained.  

"She thinks I am a virgin?"  Medren demanded.

"_Like a reluctant virgin."  Afiona continued to giggle._

Medren fumed.

Afiona laughed all the harder at his frustrated expression.  The puppy wiggled and barked as if he too found something very amusing.

"What do you suggest then?"  He demanded.

"Turn the tables on her."  Afiona suggested.  "Then you won't be the passive one."

Medren looked dubious for a few seconds then grinned widely.  "I do believe you have an idea.  I'll set myself up as a secret admirer."

"Starting with the puppy?"  Afiona guessed.

"Do you have a big ribbon I could borrow?"  Medren asked as he scratched the puppy's ears.

Afiona hunted in her wardrobe and produced a wide, red ribbon, which she tied around the puppy's neck in a big floppy bow.  "She should still be at court."

Medren borrowed a piece of paper and penned four words; from your secret admirer, which he fastened to the basket.  "Don't tell her."  He requested as he picked up the basket with one hand and the puppy in the other.

"I won't."  Afiona assured him as she opened her door for him to leave.

As soon as she was alone she curled up in her chair again.  _:Daric, are you awake?:_

_:Of course.  Nico wants a story.  I am telling him an old fairytale I heard when I was young.:_  Daric informed her.  _:After that he should sleep.  Is anything wrong?:_

_:You know me better than anything alive.  Do you think that after everything I can actually love?:  _Afiona asked uncertainly.  _:I know it is out of the blue but after listening to Medren complain about Mia I was envious of her.:_

_:I have no doubt.:_  Daric assured her.  _:And if you weren't so doubting of yourself you'd see you are a very loving person.  By some miracle they never broke you.  But until now I don't think have been ready to open yourself up to a human, like, oh say, Lance?:_

Afiona felt her cheeks heat up.  __

_:Does this mean you are finally going to admit you love Lance?:_  Daric pressed.

_:Yes.:_  Afiona felt her face grow hotter.  _:He's so strong, yet so gentle…:_

_:And patient, don't forget patient.  He has waited ages for you to stop shying from him.:_  Daric pointed out.  _:Did you tell him?:_

_:No, I want to tell him in person, not when he can't even see me.:_  Afiona explained.

_:Why did you envy Mia?:_  Daric asked.

_:She never hesitated about pursuing Medren.  She even serenaded him.  I envy her because she never thought about the possibility of being hurt when I seem to obsess about it.:_  Afiona explained.

_:But you don't anymore.  At least not about physical pain.  You are hurt often enough in your class with Rissa.  And I think you are starting to realize how truly strong you are.:_  Daric said solemnly.  _:Now, I have to get back to the story, Nico is getting rather demanding.:_

_:Well then, I won't keep you.:_  Afiona said with dry amusement.

~ * ~

It was barely dawn when pounding on her door awakened Afiona.  Nico struggled sleepily to his feet and looked around for the source of all the noise as Afiona dragged herself from bed and answered the pounding.

On the other side of the door was the Lord Martial's Herald looking like he had just tossed on the first set of whites that came to hand.

"What's wrong?"  Afiona asked sleepily as Nico butted her hand and reminded her that waking up meant it was time to eat.

"A scouting group with a Herald failed to report in this morning.  They were close to the border."  He said in a businesslike tone that told her just how serious it was.  Normally he was laid back and easy going.  "We need you to find them."

"Let me prepare Nico's bottle and I'll be right there."  She said as she closed the door and grabbed her battered old robe.  The Herald was waiting for her when she opened the door and led the way to the kitchen where she expertly prepared the bottle and let him lead the way to the Royal apartments.  Nico trotted at her heels, sensing the urgency they felt and remaining quiet.  

Afiona was surprised to see the number of people that had been dragged out of bed so early, including the very worried looking King and King's Own.  She thrust the bottle into the hands of the nearest Herald and instructed them to feed Nico.

"What do you need?"  A Herald she was unfamiliar with asked.  "A gazing ball or bowl of water?"

"Nothing, thank you."  Afiona assured them.  "Where do you want me to Look?"

She was handed a map with cryptic red and blue markings all over it.  She was starting to recognize the markings as troop movements but she had yet to figure out which glyph stood for which type of troop.  

"About here."  Jisa said and pointed out the spot on the map.

Afiona checked to make sure Nico was being fed properly.  "If he gets fussy tell him a story."  She suggested as she took a seat they cleared for her on a chair.

Taking a deep breath she released her hold on her body and started her search.

She was oblivious to the mood in the room as she searched and never noticed Jisa was shielding Nico to keep him from altering the mood.  After the first candlemark he was no longer satisfied with assurances that everything was all right and took a post with his nose inches from hers.

It was nearly two candlemarks later when she returned with a gasp and looked around at the worried faces.  "Take Nico to Daric and bring my cousin."  She ordered.

No one stopped to question her as Jisa cajoled Nico out to his father and a Herald went in search of Tashir.

Tashir entered with out even knocking.  "What's wrong?"

"Can you link with someone and Fetch?"  Afiona asked.

"Yes, why?"  Tashir asked as he pulled up a chair across from her.

"Because we need to get some maps."  Afiona said cryptically.  "I found the Herald and the scouting group with him.  They can't contact us without giving away their position."

"So what are they going to do?"  The King demanded.

Afiona smiled faintly.  "First we get the maps they made, then we can give them a distraction to use to escape."

Tashir didn't wait for any further explanations and offered her his hands.  Holding them lightly Afiona guided them both back to where she had found the men using the rocky terrain of the area to mask their movements.

_:I've returned.:_  Afiona informed the Herald who breathed a deep sigh of relief.  He placed about half dozen map tubes on the ground, which Tashir made disappear one by one.

_:You can go back.:_  Afiona said to Tashir, sensing the strain transporting the map tubes had put on him.  Tashir started to protest but instead acquiesced and broke the link.

_:How will I know that you've distracted them?:_  The Herald asked. 

_:You'll know.  I am going to spook the horses back the way they came.:_  Afiona explained.  _:Good luck Herald.:_

_:Thank you, Healer.:_  He responded as he gestured to the men to make ready.

Afiona located the Karsites with ease.  They were spread out with searching dogs and swords at the ready.  Only one in six had horses, which shot down her plan.  Instead she started with the dogs.  

_:Go home.:_  She ordered, infusing the Sending with the smell of food.

All the dogs stopped and sniffed the air, as if they could smell the illusory food.

She heard excited shouts from the men and cursed even though the only one likely to hear her was Daric.  

Abandoning the dogs that were now milling about she turned to the horses.  Being prey animals she easily convinced them that forward held a great predator that would eat them all.  Between the barking dogs and panicking horses the line was quickly falling apart, but not fast enough.

_:Damn it, get the hint!:_  Afiona cursed at the men that were seeking to calm the animals.  This time she reached for the men themselves.  She was a projective Empath and part of being a Mindhealer was the ability to enforce her will on her patients, or in this case, her enemies.  

It took only the emotional impact of her early memories of her father, standing over her with a knife as he made small cuts on her bound arms that dripped blood as the rest of the family watched.  The men started to panic as the feelings of helpless fear swamped their hearts and beat a hasty retreat immediately releasing dogs and horses to their own devices and dropping their swords as they ran.  Afiona directed the horses to the scouting group and sent the dogs running towards the Valdemar border where they would never be used against Valdemar again

Afiona felt her grip on her body growing tenuous and knew without a doubt she had over extended herself.  The world faded from black to blinding white several times before it fell silent.

It was pain that brought her back to herself as blood pounded through her head.  She groaned and gently touched her forehead.

"Careful there."  Mia chastised gently and pushed her hand away only to substitute it with a cold cloth.  "Welcome back to the land of the living."

"Did they get away?"  Afiona asked without opening her eyes.

"Yes.  Thanks to you.  What did you do to the men hunting them?"  Mia asked.  "Feel free to tell me to mind my own business."

"I used empathy as a weapon."  Afiona explained.

"Ah, well it worked.  Everyone is safe and sound now and on their way back to the border."  Mia informed her.  "And they thank you for the horses."

"Where am I?"  Afiona asked.

"The royal chambers.  Herald Jisa said it was probably not a good idea to tell the Healers what you did, she probably knew you used empathy."  Mia explained.  "So, you've spent the last couple candlemarks under my gentle care."

"Is there any lights?"  Afiona asked.

"No, it's completely dark."  Mia assured her.

Afiona gingerly opened her eyes.  "What did the maps say?"

"Well, I was never told officially but the word is bad.  They are moving into position to attack midspring, and no feint this time.  I mean a full out, do or die, winner takes all, war."  Mia said without dulling the news.

"I was afraid of that."  Afiona struggled to sit up.  "Who are they sending to the front?"

"Well, I was missed in this round.  So was Rissa.  But any teachers of book subjects, like math and history, have been ordered to saddle up.  Rissa and I are staying so we can get the new Heralds as ready as quickly as possible."  Mia said sadly.  "I made certain they are all carrying the new Companion medical kits.  And they've all been reminded to watch their Companion's diet, make certain they don't suffer malnutrition.  Don't worry about them, just rest up and get rid of the headache.  You, my dear friend, are a walking goldmine to us."

Afiona smiled wanly.  "Where's Stef?"

"In Bardic, watching my new puppy."  Mia informed her.  "Can you believe Medren thinks I'll actually believe that he's from a secret admirer?"

"I knew you would know."  Afiona let herself be distracted from the near miss of the Herald and his group and the offensive use of her powers.

"I was thinking, I should play along and pretend to be completely head over heels for my secret admirer, make him jealous of himself."  Mia said with an impudent grin Afiona could barely see.  "I know now is not the best time but—"

"Now is a good time.  You don't want to regret it later."  Afiona reminded her.  

"Come on, you are supposed to be my conscience here."  Mia said in mock disappointment.

"Why don't you collect the puppy and send Stefen to me, he can sing away my headache long enough for me to get to my room."  Afiona suggested.

"Yes he can sing but you are going nowhere."  Mia informed her.  "I better go check on your cousin, he earned himself a nasty headache as well.  The Lord Martial is over the moon now that he has a functional Seer-Fetcher pair that works so well together.  You are both assigned to the palace until further notice and we, the Heralds that is, are hoping you will be able to help pick up a few of the classes, more to give the younglings that aren't going to war something else to focus on; like lessons in field medicine for Companions."  

"We'll see."  Afiona said knowing she would.

"Wonderful.  Sleep now, fret later, alright?"  Mia ordered as she stood up.  Afiona winced as the bed shifted.

"Who's the healer here?"  Afiona said lightly.

"And who is the senior Herald?"  Mia countered.  "I'll send Stefen in.  Stay put."

"Very well."  Afiona capitulated.

As soon as Afiona was alone she went through the relaxation exercises as a student and the pain eased slightly.

_:Did you do what I think you did?:_  Daric asked now that she was alone.  _:Use Empathy offensively I mean.:_

_:Yes.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:And if the Healers find out I will be stripped of my Greens very quickly.:_

_:I'll make certain that how you did it remains a Heralds only secret.:_  Daric assured her.  _:Now rest.  We'll probably need you again all too soon.:_


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Afiona stroked Whisper's neck as the sun beat down on the train of wagons and riders.  It was much to hot for so early in summer but as far as she was concerned it was better than rain.  She had already sent word out among the Companions that they should be careful of dehydration both in themselves and in their Chosen.   

_:Mama-Afi!  Watch!:_  Nico called from where he was playing among the flowers and browning grasses along the side of the road.

_:What are you doing sweetie?:_  She asked as she reined Whisper in and turned to look at his antics.

_:Watch.:_  Nico ordered as he reared up on his hind legs and pawed the air.  _:Like daddy!:_

Afiona laughed.  "Just like daddy."  She agreed.

Nico pranced to her side to have his ear scratched before he resumed playing. 

She would have preferred the young companion to have stayed in Haven but he was just too young to take from his mother.  The only reason she had finally agreed to bring him along was because Leshya was going to be at the Army camp they were heading to and he had agreed to watch Nico and further his training when he could.  Nico was nearing a year old and was already a powerful mindhealer. 

"What's he doing now?"  Stefen asked as he guided his bright little chestnut mare next to Afiona's grey warhorse.

"He is playing."  Afiona answered simply.  "I was worried he would feel lost away from home but he seems perfectly content after two weeks on the road."

"I hear the young are resilient.  Not that I would know."  Stefen shrugged.  "My experience with children can be written in a limerick."

"I still say you didn't have to come along."  Afiona said for easily the hundredth time.

"I am not about to write ballads based on second hand stories."  Stefen pointed out.  "And I want more songs based on Heralds without magic."

Afiona frowned slightly as his comment brought to mind something that had been troubling her for some time.

"What?"  Stefen prodded.

"When I'm off…wandering I often pick up on people's thoughts and emotions and basically I think that the reason we are not doing well in this war is the army already feels half defeated without magic."  Afiona explained.  "I've even felt it with the council."

"I know."  Stefen looked grim.  

"Even the Heralds feel that way."  Afiona admitted.

"That's why I want more songs about just ordinary Heralds using their Gifts."  Stefen reiterated.  "And I am not going to get that sitting in Haven."

"What about some songs of ordinary men and women facing down a mage and winning?"  Afiona suggested.  "I think there is a few of those floating around.  And put some punch behind it."

"You mean use my Gift?"  Stefen asked.  

"Not the most ethical thing, I'll admit, but neither is using song to boost enrollment in the army."  Afiona pointed out.  

"Amazing how ethics suffer when we are facing being run over by the Karsites."  Stef observed drolly.

Afiona looked around at the men in women in Valdemaran cavalry uniforms riding in two lines on the other side of the road.  They were all grimfaced and silent.  Too many were too young to wear those uniforms but the Army had turned a blind eye to their ages.  "Why don't you find Medren and Mia and get a little trio going and boost morale here?  I think Medren is at the back of the line sulking that Mia is head over heals in love with her secret admirer and ignoring him.  Mia's up at the front talking to the Sergeant about saddles of all thing." 

Stefen chuckled and glanced ahead at the cheerful Herald at the head of the column of men with her white puppy sitting happily on her lap.  "You get her and I will drag Medren here."  He turned his mare, Melody, around and cantered back to Medren.

_:Mia, we are about to have a little concert back here.  Care to join us.:_  Afiona asked.  _:It's all in the name of morale of course.:_

_:Certainly.  Better than this endless riding.:_  Mia answered as she guided Lika out of place and cantered back to them.  The puppy barked happily as they moved swiftly back down the road, he adored being on her lap as they rode and he was lucky enough to be small and could continue riding there for the rest of his life.  "Some of the humorous songs wouldn't be out of place."  She commented as she fell into step next to Afiona.  

Stefen returned with Medren lagging behind.  He had also stopped to collect a battered lute from one of the wagons.  Medren had a small set of traveling drums over his saddle bow that were designed for just such a purpose and set of panpipes.

Mia gave him only a lukewarm, welcoming smile.  The puppy barked and wagged his tail in greeting, as he always did when he saw Medren.

"What shall we do?"  Medren asked.

"What about 'The Maid of Ismor'?"  Mia suggested.

"Has a catchy beat."  Stefen agreed and tuned his lute.

Sensing something interesting was happening Nico hurried over and watched.  

_:Singing stories?:_  He asked hopefully.

_:Maybe some.  These are mostly dancing songs.:_  Afiona explained.

_:Daddy, dancing stories!:_  Nico said happily.

Daric, much farther back on the line speaking to a Companion whose Herald had just earned his Whites and trying to soothe their jitters, only sent an amused acknowledgement.

 Afiona fell back to listen as the trio started.  The maid in the song was certainly no maid; it was a silly tale of her fleecing a traveler with promises of a bedroom romp that always ended with him in an embarrassing situation and her keeping the 'token' of his admiration.  

The song was designed for a man and woman to sing as a duet; in this case it was Mia and Medren.  By the time they reached the second chorus most people within hearing distance sang along with Mia, who was batting her lashes and simpering at Medren.  By the fourth song the mood of the entire group was obviously cheerier.

Nico stuck close to the trio listening to every word, not understanding the more ribald verses but enjoying every minute of it.

Afiona, whose singing voice was best described as deplorable, didn't sing along.

The group was singing a drinking song from the north when they entered the army camp.  Mia, now playing rather than singing to prevent losing her voice, winced when a few people's voices clashed or hit notes that were not exactly pleasant to the ear.

"That was fun." Mia grinned widely and chuckled as she fell back to mingle with Afiona and some heralds, most still so new to their uniforms that they still squeaked when they turned around too fast. 

The heralds were all hanging back as they entered the camp, they had a separate camp from the bulk of the army in case they had to charge out in the middle of the night with messages or Foresight visions.  Something that was likely to happen at least once a night.  Afiona assumed she was going to be near the Heralds since the Companions were her charges.

"It certainly was."  Afiona agreed.  She was pleased to note the new Heralds were looking much less anxious.  "I am looking forward to having more than stars over me tonight."

"I'm hoping that my 'secret' admirer will appear again."  Mia said with a wink.  "Medren hasn't done a thing but glower since we left Haven."

"Is that a hint that I should give him a nudge?"  Afiona asked.

"If you want."  Mia answered mischievously.  "Beyond the fire it's completely dark.  It would be a good place for a little…rendezvous.  Don't you think?"

"I am not going to recommend it.  Ask Stef to do it if you must.  I still think you should stop playing with him and tell him that you know."  Afiona shook her head.

"I will ask Stef then.  He thinks this is all great fun."  Mia said.  "Besides, if I told him I knew all along, right from the beginning, it would wound his ego and then I wouldn't stand a chance with him, now would I?  He can say it was him at any time, or he could stop leaving little notes and what not."

"Just don't break his heart.  He may be thick and a pain at times but he still one of my dearest friends."  Afiona requested with an exasperated look as her flighty friend waved off her concerns with a flick of her hand.

"I certainly don't want to break his heart."  Mia assured her.  "I am not playing with him, you know.  I wouldn't mind cuddling up next to him at night."

Afiona shook her head in defeat.  Even Stefen thought this little farce, which had been going on for months now, was still amusing to watch.  

"Enough about me and my love life."  Mia said with a devilish gleam in her eyes.  "What did Lance say when you told him you were coming?"

Afiona blushed.  "I didn't tell him.  I've been too tired to go talk to him and he's still out there scouting and so I would be here before any letter I sent reached him."

"I can't wait to see his face when he sees you."  Mia said cheerfully.

"Healer Afiona?"  A brisk, stern faced sergeant called as he strode towards them.

Afiona pulled up Whisper.  "Yes?"

"Follow me."  He ordered and spun on his heel.

"I'll find you later, see if you need any help."  Mia called as she led the young Heralds towards the neatly lined up tents.

Afiona waved in recognition to several of the Heralds as she was led towards a dark, ancient stable next to a small little house.  By the waves of pain she felt beating against her shields she knew that was where they were keeping the injured Companions.

"Are there any windows?"  Afiona asked.

"No."  The Sergeant grunted.

Afiona glanced up at the hot sun and at the dark stable.  "You have got to be kidding."

He grunted again.

Afiona slid off Whisper, trusting the mare to follow her, and ran to the stable and threw back the doors.  The smell of dust and mold assaulted her along with the smell of blood.

"What Healer is in charge here?"  She demanded.

"She's here somewhere."  He shrugged.

Afiona clenched her teeth to keep from saying anything she never wanted Nico to hear let alone repeat.  "Find her, and have her report to me, now!  Then I want some windows made in this place by dusk, am I understood?"

"Now see here Healer.  We don't have time to go primping up a stable, we are at war here."  The sergeant said churlishly as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

Afiona spun to glare at him.  "That is not a request.  That is an _order._  We need a breeze in here to keep the Companions from collapsing from the heat.  Now, I also want lanterns hung from the ceiling every six feet or so."

"This is hardly the time to worry about little luxuries, Healer, we are at war!"  He shouted at her as he protested again.

"Luxuries?"  Afiona repeated as she advanced on him.  "You think this is a matter of luxuries?  It is hotter than hell in here, which is bad for their health.  Now, unless you want to be the one explaining to me why they are being treated like this, you will find me their healer now!"

The sergeant backed away involuntarily, staring at her like she had grown a second head.

_:Now that's telling him.:_  Daric chuckled in the back of her mind.

He strode, just shy of running, to the far end of the stable and pounded on a closed door hidden in the shadows there. 

Afiona busied herself opening both large doors at this end of the building and taking a quick look at the Companions nearest her.  From all appearances they were being Healed properly and were not as neglected as their surroundings indicated.

A woman answered the sergeant's pounding, and after a short exchange that Afiona didn't hear, the woman scurried down the stable to Afiona.  

"H-h-healer Afiona?"  She said nervously.

Now, on second glance, she was much younger than Afiona expected.  She had probably just earned her greens.

"Why's it so dark in here?"  Afiona demanded.

The other healer nervously glanced at the Sergeant, who was still standing back gloating that he was no longer the one receiving the new healers displeasure.

"I'm waiting."  Afiona ground out.  "Why would you play with the lives of your patients like this?"

The healer started to sob.

"Ah, damn."  Afiona grumbled.  

"I asked to have w-w-windows made b-b-but they said they didn't have time."  The healer wailed.

"Did you just get your greens?"  Afiona asked with a much gentler tone of voice, reminding herself that just because she was exhausted from the long trek she didn't need to take it out on others unnecessarily.

She nodded again.

Afiona turned on the sergeant, who had obviously thought he was no longer in her line of fire.  "How could you take advantage of a young lady's uncertainty just so you don't have do a little more work?  Get out of here before I decide to report your shameless laziness to your superior."

"You don't have the right—"  He started.

"As a Healer I do have the authority."  Afiona interrupted.  "Now out."

He stomped out of the stable, leaving the women alone.  Afiona turned back to the younger healer.

"If they try it again, yell at them.  Nothing is more important than the welfare of your patients."  She reminded the other healer.  Glancing over her shoulder she grinned.  "And don't be afraid to yell at dolts like him, it is the only way to get through to some of them."

The other Healer sniffed as her sobs ebbed.

"You may as well go over to the Healers; they could probably use your help.  I assume you have detailed records for everyone."  Afiona said in dismissal.  She had been on the road for entirely too long, her legs ached from the unaccustomed ride and she was tired.  The last thing she needed today was a girl who had been trying her best to do right wailing like a banshee and disturbing the Companions.

"In the t-t-tack r-r-room."  She sniffed.

"Wonderful."  Afiona was glad at least that was done.  Some of the older Healers would neglect that simple duty but the new Healers practiced it religiously, as they had been taught.  

"I'm sorry, it's j-j-just—"  The younger healer started to defend.

"Don't worry, just learn to stand up for your patients."  Afiona counseled.

"Can I st-st-stay?"  The younger woman asked hopefully.  "I c-c-could take night watch."

Afiona vaguely remembered a very shy girl with a stutter several years behind her.  "If you wish, but I am the senior Herald here."

She nodded quickly.  "The h-h-healers are alr-r-right but the p-p-p-patients—"

"They have a hard time taking you seriously?  I understand."  Afiona quickly assured her.  "Now, where am I sleeping?"

"I am s-s-sleeping in the t-t-tack r-r-room."  She explained.

"Speak slowly."  Afiona advised.  "And relax, the Heralds may call me a tyrant but that's only because it's the only way I've found that they'll listen to me."

"You have the c-cottage."  She said, much slower this time.  "I'm Tika."

"I'll see you later, Tika.  I am just going to make certain that idiot listened to me."  Afiona said.  "And see about some supper for us, would you? I'm starved."

Tika nodded and hurried back to the tack room.

_:At least you don't have all of us on your own.:_  Daric observed.

_:From the looks of it, she is thorough, otherwise I would have sent her packing.:_  Afiona admitted.

_:I know.  I asked about Lance for you, he is expected back in within a few weeks.:_  Daric informed her.

Afiona beamed.

_:Nico's hungry and that lump of laziness is out here complaining about you to the others assigned here.  Not one word about the windows.:_  Daric warned.  _:So enough 'thinking happy thoughts' and time for work.:_

_:Like I need to be reminded four-foot.:_  Afiona retorted as she hurried from the barn and headed straight for the small circle of soldiers assigned to do the heavy work for her and Tika.

~ * ~

Afiona was curled up on her pallet, reading the precise notes Tika had made by the light of the lantern when Mia knocked on her door and hurried in without waiting for an answer.

"Quiet, Nico's sleeping."  Afiona hissed, gesturing to the colt standing in the corner with his head hanging low and snoring softly.

Mia quietly sat on the pallet next to Afiona.  _:The Lord Martial wants to see you in about a candlemark.  He didn't say why.:_

_:Good thing I have a night watch Healer then.:_  Afiona said as she quietly got to her feet and started to dress.  _:You'll baby-sit?:_

_:Of course.  Auntie Mia is always ready to baby-sit.:_  Mia grinned impishly.  _:How was the first day?:_

_:Well, my predecessor is too self-conscious about her stuttering to go back to the Healing tent just yet, I have a bunch of lazy oafs that spent all day dragging their feet about making windows in the stable so they are doing it tonight and they are mucking out stalls first thing in the morning, come hell or high water.  There are no major injuries at the moment, but I am short on several necessary medications and to top it off, one mare is pregnant so I am going to have to order her off the front lines.:_  Afiona listed.

_:Which mare?:_  Mia asked.

_:Tansin.  She has been trying to hide it, even from her Herald.:_  Afiona explained.  _:She lost the last baby quite early on if I remember correctly, so she can't even run messenger duties.:_

_:Right.  I know her Chosen.  Atheric must be rather annoyed, he has been trying to get assigned to a scouting group.:_  Mia said thoughtfully. 

_:I don't know if he has even been told yet or if their destination has been decided.  Maybe Haven, maybe they'll stay here.  I have no idea.:_  Afiona shrugged.

_:Just not in a scouting group or on the front.:_  Mia lounged back against the wall._  :Any others being shipped back?:_

_:No.  But there aren't many here, most Heralds are still out there.:  _Afiona sat next to Mia and stretched her legs out in front of her.  _:It's the calm before the storm.:_

_:Don't remind me.  There are no other trainees ready for Whites otherwise I wouldn't be here.  That is never a good sign.:_  Mia admitted, letting her worry show.

_:I know some of the new recruits are not of age.  It's sad that we have sunk so far that we are knowingly accepting children to fight.:_  Afiona said sadly.

Mia sighed.  _:What I wouldn't give for a mage.:_

Afiona leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees.  _:What have you heard?  About the other side I mean.:_

_:Nothing good, of course.:_  Mia admitted.

_:They outnumber us a good two to one.  And they have mages.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:They blocked Tashir, he can't fetch from there anymore.:_

_:I wondered why they sent him down here.:_  Mia admitted.

_:They don't know about me yet.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:But almost nobody knows about me.:_

_:Which is a good thing.:_  Mia said quickly.

Afiona hung her head.  _:I don't know about that.  Some of the things I've seen…:_

_:None were worse than what you've lived.:_  Mia pointed out.  

_:Some of it is.  They have demons.  I recognize them from my family's magic.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:They are turning them loose on their own people, trying to raise power.:_

Mia stared at her aghast.

_:I am not supposed to discuss it but I need to.  Daric seems to have a hard time understanding.:_  Afiona confessed.  _:I Feel everything they're feeling as they do it and I still don't understand.:_

_:Well, he's not an empath.:_  Mia pointed out.  _:They seem to see 'evil' people as emotionless blobs.  I had a discussion with Lika several years ago and that was certainly how she saw it.  But you obviously don't see it that way.  How could you?:_

_:They believe they are doing what's right.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:That they are being directed by their god to send out those demons.:_

_:Idiots.:_  Mia cursed silently.

_:I better get going before I wake him.:_  Afiona stood, she needed to leave before any of her anger leaked out and woke the sleeping colt.  _:Hopefully I will be back before dawn.:_

_:And hopefully you will still be standing when you get back.:_  Mia bid her farewell.

The night was still hot causing beads of sweat to form on Afiona's upper lip.  She could see the men slowly going about creating the windows.  Of the five, three were sitting down.

Afiona stalked over to them, they jumped when they saw her approaching and tried to look busy.

"Either those windows are done by dawn, or you will all be facing charges.  Am I understood?"  She demanded.

"What charges?"  The sergeant that had given her a hard time asked belligerently.

"Failing to follow orders resulting in harm to others."  Afiona informed him.  The other four froze.  Such a charge could result in incarceration and would certainly keep them from ever advancing through the ranks.  They would also lose the comfortable position of aiding the Healers in favor of the lowest and dirtiest of tasks, such as latrine trenches.

"Harm to what?"  He countered.

"Companions.  Which is also treason."  Afiona reminded him and met the eyes of the other four men.  "Is he your superior?"

"No ma'am.  You are."  One answered with new humility.

"Then may I suggest you don't let him drag you down with him."  Afiona said as she stalked past towards the main camp.

 _:Just think, once you would have just ignored them.:_  Daric observed.  _:What did you do?  Ask Rissa for pointers?:_

_:You know I did.:_  Afiona responded.  _:That and being a teacher helped.  Nothing like having over two dozen children under your command to teach you to raise your voice above a whisper.: _

_:You were not that bad.:_  Daric protested.  _:You have always been vocal in the care of your patients.  And you were always a good teacher; patient, understanding, and approachable.  When this all over I am going to suggest you teach basic healing to the Trainees since you can't always trance and go out and heal them.:_

_:We'll see.  First we have to win this war.:_  Afiona pointed out.  _:Speaking of which, if you're close, can you give me a ride?  I feel like my legs are about to give out on me.:_

_:I'll be there in a second.:_  Daric assured her and she heard the chiming thunder of his hooves as he raced for her.  It had been weeks since she had been able to ride him and he missed her.

Afiona didn't have long to wait before Daric stopped next to her and Afiona pulled herself up on his back.  He carried her swiftly through the darkness to the massive ten sheltering the Lord Martial.

It was packed with uniformed bodies, mostly white and dark blue, and it didn't require empathy to feel the tension in the tent.

"Sir?"  She said as she stood on her toes to see over the men in her way.

"Ah, Afiona, you arrived."  He greeted her with relief.  

"I'm sorry I was late."  She said as she stepped further into the tent and found herself the focus of every eye.

"Healer Afiona here is our miracle worker."  The Lord Martial said by way of introduction.  "If you could join me here, my girl." 

Afiona made her way around the table and waved a greeting at the few Heralds she recognized.

"Anything I should know?"  He asked her obliquely.  She knew he meant if she Felt anything out of the ordinary among the gathered men and women; a sign that someone was not who they pretended to be.

"No, everyone feels normal."  Afiona assured him.  "Tired, hungry, and a few are sexually frustrated."

That earned a chuckle from a few of the gathered people.

"Afiona is an empath and will be serving the same function here that Jisa is performing further to the south."  The Martial explained.

"She's our spy catcher?"  One of the generals repeated dubiously.

"Who better than a Healer?"  A Herald asked.  "They can go anywhere, and no one will comment on her going among the troops.  Besides, she is a trifle more practical than most healers when it comes to the safety of the citizens of Valdemar."

Afiona blushed.

"So, we get suspicious and we call you.  Not a problem."  One of the female officers nodded in understanding.

"Anything else sir?"  One of the other officers asked impatiently.

"That is all, you are dismissed."  He said.  As Afiona moved to leave he stopped her.  

"I have something to speak to you about."  He said curtly.  "Have a seat."

Afiona sat on the edge of the narrow cot.

"Anyone close?"  He asked.

Afiona did a mental sweep of the area and found only Daric close enough to hear what was said.  "All clear."

"I've told our—informants that if they can't get to me they can go to you."  He said bluntly.  "You are relatively secluded and your nearest neighbors can all be trusted completely.  They're Heralds after all."

Afiona gaped up at him.  "Me?  Why?"

"I am constantly surrounded by people which makes it hard for anyone to get to me secretly.  There is also the advantage of if they are wounded you can patch them up."  He pointed out.  "Also, I trust you completely."

 "I don't work on humans."  Afiona pointed out.

"You do now."  He informed her.  "If I'm here you can always come in and interrupt.  No one but a Herald argues with a Healer.  Just say you need to speak to me about some healing problem."

"But, the Healers.  I don't have the seniority to tend you!"  She protested, shooting to her feet.

"You do now.  The Healing Circle made you the Healer in charge at this camp."  He explained.  "Weren't you told?"

Afiona sat back on the bed with a thump.  "Me?"  She squeaked again. 

"Why not?"  He asked with a shrug.  "You're certainly capable enough."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in favor among the Healers."  Afiona pointed out.  "And they expect me to run a camp full of them?"

"Well, fix whatever the problem is."  The Lord Martial suggested briskly.  "I need you in a position of authority here, and I know you can handle it."

Afiona stared up at him hopelessly.

"You better go talk to the Healers."  He reminded her.

"Do they know?"  She asked.

"Of course."  

Afiona stood slowly.  Her Greens were stained with horse sweat and the other signs of travel.  It was bad enough she was introduced as their 'spy catcher' looking like this but now she had to face the Healers that had shunned her for the past several months looking like this.  "You are going to regret this."  She warned him direly.

He looked confused.

"Ask the Heralds, I'm a bloody tyrant."  Afiona said with a strained smile as she tried to smooth out her uniform.

"That's my girl."  He said with a grin.  

In the months she had acted as his eyes in Karse they had struck up a friendship.  He had taken to calling her 'my girl' and she had dropped the sir in private.

"What about when you go to the front?"  Afiona asked.  "If the others come to me how am I going to tell you?"

"Send messages by Herald."  He said calmly.  "If there's anything desperate I will have my Herald with me at all times and whatever you know will reach me immediately."

Afiona sighed.  "So, I'm now a spy, a contact for the other spies, a spy catcher, primary healer for the Companions, _and_ the senior Healer for the camp?" 

He nodded slowly.  "That about sums it up."

"How am I supposed to get anything done?"  She demanded.  "I have Nico here, I can't do all that and be his mother."

"I'm sure you'll do wonderfully.  Now, I have some maps I want to leave with you for when you're surveying the land."  He collected several nondescript tubes from his portable table and placed them in her arms.  "Oh, and see what you can do about morale here.  You are an empath so I'm sure it won't be a problem."

Afiona glared at him.  "I'll make certain you regret this."  She warned. 

He only laughed and patted her on the back.

Afiona gripped the tubes under one arm.  "I am going to ask a Herald to help me if it gets to be too much and I am not asking you for permission, I am telling you.  As you said, only Heralds argue with Healers."

He laughed.  "Then I won't say a word."


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Afiona strode out of the door, which the Lord Martial held aside to allow her to get out without dropping a message or map tube.  Daric gave her a sympathetic look. 

_:So, now what?:_  He asked.

_:Now, I take these to the cottage then I am going to sleep.  I'll deal with the Healers in the morning.:  _Afiona said as she adjusted her burden.

_:I could see if Ausin will talk to Dagin  about talking to the Lord Martial about finding someone else.  That is just way too much for one person.:_  He offered.

_:No, I am sure he has his reasons for wanting me.:_   Afiona shook her head and started walking towards the stable that was housing the Companions.  _:He feels strongly that I should do it.  I could sense it.  But shouldn't a Herald to be contact for the 'informants'?  I only watch the Karsites, I have never even entered the borders.:_  She worried her bottom lip.

_:You are a Herald.:_  Daric pointed out.

Afiona rolled her eyes.  _:I'm a Healer.:_

_:This way he also gets some one who patch up his spies and send them back out with a minimum of fuss and bother.  It's not like he is asking you to run a spy ring, simply receive messages and pass them on and heal those who need it.:_  A strange voice said in her mind.

Spinning about she saw a vaguely familiar Companion behind them.  

_:Ausin.:_  Daric said in surprise.  _:Sorry if we bothered you.:_

_:You didn't.  Dag is working late, again.:_  He heaved a great sigh.  _:Being the Lord Martial's Herald doesn't exactly offer regular hours.:_ Ausin addressed Afiona again, _:Dagin was actually the one who suggested you as a contact.  But the position of Senior Healer—that was solely the idea of the Healers Circle.  They figured that if you aren't going to be working on the human victims you will have the energy to ride herd on the young Healers here, many of which were either taught with you or by you to some extent.:_

_:Oh, wonderful!  I have a bunch of rookie Healers that are going to be looking to me for every little thing.  Wonderful, just wonderful.:_  Afiona was ready to toss the tubes at someone.

_:It's hardly our fault you managed to make yourself so useful.:_  Ausin pointed out with amusement.

Afiona made a sound suspiciously like a growl and flung a map tube at him.  He deftly caught it in his teeth and offered it back to her.

_[:No.  I don't want it.:_  Afiona knocked away the tube so it fell to the ground several feet away._  :I don't want to be responsible for the lives of the spies or the Healers!  What do you think I am?  Some endless fount of power?  How do you expect me to be able to Heal Companions and spies, watch over gods know how many new healers that will want to have every decision approved or will ignore me thinking they know better, and spy for the crown?:_  Afiona complained with a mixture of panic and disbelief.

_:I understand.:_  Daric said quickly.  _:You want to be quietly in the background where nothing wrong can be blamed on you.  You are not going to live up to your true potential hiding in the crowd.:_

Afiona glared at him.

_:He's right.:  _Ausin added.  _:You aren't going to have visitors every night, we are too far from the front for that, just the ones who think traveling this far inside our borders is worth it to get to a Healer.  It will be easier on you to spy from here since you are considerably closer to your targets and the Lord Martial is not going to be as reliant on you as you might expect.  Back in Haven you were his only hope of getting timely information from the front, here he has other sources.  So far there are blessedly few Companions in need of you and we can handle much of the Healing ourselves once you get us patched up enough.  The biggest drain on you is going to be the Healers and as you said, you are a Healer, so you can't turn them down without due cause.:_

Afiona's shoulder sank in surrender.  _:Do you always have to be right?:_  She accused Ausin.

_:I try.:_  He said with a mental chuckle.  

_:You can always ask Mia or any of the other Heralds for help when it gets too rough and you know I will do my level best to keep Nico out of everyone's hair.:_  Daric added.

Afiona's shoulders sagged.  _:I'm just tired.  Maybe it'll all look better in the morning.: _she offered in way of a backhanded apology for her poor mood.

_:There is a cellar under your little cottage, you can store the tubes under there.:_  Ausin said helpfully.  _:And anything else you need to hide.  There should always be a Companion or two about if you need anything protected.:_

Afiona managed a smile as a thank you since if she actually said anything she'd probably start complaining again.

_:Afiona, love, I should have asked before about what their plans were.:_  Daric rubbed his nose on her cheek.  

_:You're missing the point!:_  Afiona complained tiredly.

_:That you don't want all this responsibility?  That you don't want to be a prominent figure?  Oh, I got the point, I live in your head, remember?:_  Daric reminded his Chosen wryly.  _:You prefer to remain anonymous and unnoticed but it's too late for that.  You've been noticed by some powerful people, they know what you are capable of and expect you to live up to their expectations.:_

Afiona grumbled and glared at her Companion.  

_:I'm right and you know it.  I think you should stop—: _Afiona's glare spoke louder than words, or thoughts, and he stopped mid sentence. 

Afiona led the way back to the small cottage with a brief stop along the way to make certain her windows were being made.  

Mia looked up as Afiona entered the cottage and was obviously surprised to see both the burden Afiona was laden with as well as her decidedly displeased face.  _:What happened?:_

_:I got promoted.:_  Afiona nearly growled.  _:By everybody in the bloody camp!:_

Mia frowned and motioned for her to go back outside.  _:You are going to wake the baby.:_  She scolded.  

Once outside Afiona sank onto the parched grass.  _:I was just informed that not only am I a spy for the crown, but the spycatcher.  To top it off I was made the senior Healer for the camp because the Healers think that I will have the energy to spare to control a bunch of new Healers.:_

Mia grinned.  Afiona yanked up a handful of grass and tossed it at her.  _:It's not funny!:_

_:But it is, you are being everything but what you are, a Herald.:_  Mia pointed out.  _:Now, what are you going to do?: _

Afiona sighed.  _:What else can I do?  I'm going to do what they want.:_

_:I figured as much.:  _Mia flopped down next to her.  _:But at least we get to complain to each other about the rookies.  I'm supposed to play nanny to the baby Heralds.:_

_:I can do one better, I have a true baby.:  _Afiona pointed out.

Mia chuckled.  _:How true.:_

_:I should get to bed seeing as I have to face the Healers first thing in the morning.:_  Afiona made a telling face as she stood._ :I'm sure everything will look better after some sleep.:_

_:Everything usually does.:_  Mia stood.  _:Unless it involves too much alcohol then the view might not be so good.  See you at breakfast?: _

_:No, I think I'm going to eat with the Healers.  The sooner I face them the better.:_  Afiona grimaced in anticipation .

_:Hey, remember, they can smell fear.:_  Mia grinned and winked.  _:And if necessary, I am sure you and I can knock a couple of the thicker heads together until they get the point.:_

_:Careful, I just might accept your offer.:_  Afiona said as she entered her little cottage and was nearly bowled over by Nico.

_:Mama-Afi, you went away.:_  He scolded.

Afiona scratched his ears affectionately as he nuzzled her chest.  _:Do you have to pee?:_

_:No.:_  Nico pranced back.  _:Story?:_

Afiona sank onto her bed as the long hours of the day caught up with her.  _:Not tonight sweetie.  I'm tired and need to sleep.:_

Nico hung his head in disappointment then peeked out of the corner of his eye at her to see if she changed her mind. 

_:Nice try lovey, but it's bed time.:  _Afiona said firmly as she changed and stretched out on her bed.  Nico huffed before finally taking his post next to her bed.  

She curled up on her side and pillowed her head with her arm.  She tried to think of what she would say to the healers in the morning and came up with nothing.

 ~ * ~

Afiona wished it was a nightmare but she knew she was awake and standing outside the Healers tent.  Taking a deep breath she stepped inside.  It took less than a minute for all the chatter to die and for her to be the focus of every eye.  Some were hostile, some were confused, but none were terribly friendly.  Their brilliant greens, as yet unfaded by attempts to remove blood and other stains made it clear they were all young.  She saw two or three than had been in her year group but even they were a couple years younger, they had been the ones that had gone on to specialize after getting their greens. 

"Good morning."  She said calmly and stopped at the head on the table.  "I am Healer Afiona."

"We know."  Someone grumbled.

Afiona ignored them.  "Now, in case you aren't aware, I have been assigned as the Senior Healer to this camp.  I'd like copies of your notes on your current patients by tonight.  Any requests for supplies can be made through me as well and I will do my best to provide it to you, within reason."

"Why'd they make an animal healer the Senior Healer here?"  A male healer demanded.

"Because I have experience."  Afiona answered.  "I _chose_ to tend animals and Companions.  Now, we will be getting people who have already been tended on the frontlines and are here mostly to recuperate.  I want them to have confidence in us so if you have a problem with somebody take care of it in private.  If you can't resolve it on your own, come to me.  This is a tense camp and I know we are going to be feeling it worse than the others; especially those of us who are empaths.  There is only one occasion I will tolerate any of you raising your voice to anyone and that is in defense of your patients.  That includes hollering at stubborn Heralds trying to sneak back to the frontlines."  This earned a few chuckles.  "Any questions?"

"Why should we listen to you?"  A female healer sneered.  "You deliberately didn't tend a man because he hurt your dog."

Afiona had wondered if someone would say something about that incident.

"Amazing how rumor likes to forget facts isn't it?  Firstly, he killed my dog while he was trying to kill me.  Secondly, it was a Companion that attacked him.   Thirdly, He had been sentenced to death several years earlier for attempted murder of my cousin, Herald Tashir, and myself."  Afiona explained calmly.

"Attempted?"  A young woman at her left repeated.  Afiona recognized her the woman.  She had been several years behind her in the Healing Collegium.  She had once stared at Afiona's scars for so long it took a borderline rude remark to get her to look away.

"Who do you think gave me those scars you used to stare at?"  Afiona asked with a hint of exasperation creeping into her voice.  The younger woman blushed and looked away.

"As it was pointed out, I am primarily an animal and Companion Healer.  I'm stationed over by the Companion's barn where my patients are.  If you need me and I'm not here, I'm there.  Today I'd like to observe and in the next few days I will be choosing who is responsible on what shifts.  If you have any concerns about those positions talk to me soon."  Afiona glanced around the table.  By in large they looked unsettled.  A few didn't look like they believed her.  "If you have preferences for what shifts you'd like to be assigned to come and let me know soon, don't wait until they are assigned.  That being said, I am going to eat."  She walked towards where the cooks had left the food and served herself.

_:Well done.  You certainly made them think they might not have the full story.:_  Daric praised.

_:That wasn't so bad.:_  Afiona admitted.

_:No, you were just fine, my knees are still shaking though.  I am so glad I don't have to do any public speaking.:_  Daric confessed.  _:Nico wants to know if Mama-Afi is going to join him for Medren's story.:_

_:You know I can't.:_  Afiona sighed.

_:I know, but I can't lie and say I did ask you if I didn't.:_  Daric explained.  _:I never thought having a child could make one so devious.: _

Afiona filled her plate and took a seat at the end of the table.  Slowly conversations started back up but nobody spoke to her.  She was actually grateful for the isolation.  She had to tour the Healing tents immediately after breakfast and appraise the abilities of the younger healers; not something that would earn her any friendships.  She also had to take a look at the Companions before Nico decided is was time to be with his mother.  

Worries chased themselves about her head.  If the war went badly the battles could come very close, she needed to train these young healers how to rescue the wounded.  The heat would probably only get worse, she needed to make certain there was plenty of cool water and not just for the patients, the still hale and whole soldiers were drilling religiously and the last thing anyone needed was them collapsing from heat related illnesses.  Afiona had a feeling she should also make certain everybody knew the procedures if they were suddenly flooded with casualties.

Afiona frowned thoughtfully then smiled.  She could talk to the Lord Martial and arrange a mock war.  Right here.  It would give everybody a chance to practice, and if done right it could even be a tool to raise moral.

"What emergency procedures do you have in place?"  Afiona asked nobody in particular.  "Like if we were suddenly flooded with injured."

"Nothing set in stone."  One healer admitted.  "We haven't had any emergencies and most of us arrived in the last month."

"Then we have our work cut out for us."  Afiona said in a brisk business like tone.  "Eat up, the next few days are going to be chaotic." 

~ * ~

The first three days had passed in a chaotic blur as she arranged schedules and assigned tasks, mostly ignoring the requests of the young Healers in favor of what she believed was the best distribution of abilities and skills.  

She tried to have at least one empath, no matter how weak, on at all times to help alert others to nightmares or increased pain.  She also arranged for most healers that Healed by touch to work first thing in the morning; the heat and an intensive healing session could cause the Healer to pass out.

Her idea for mock battles was welcomed by the military leaders, as well as by the Heralds.  The first was set for the next morning, an ambush where the Healers would be receiving men and women whose only wounds were ink that was going to be smeared on pot metal blades and mud from headless arrows that would probably cause a few injuries.

Mia's Heralds were going to be on both sides, the more experienced playing referee and therefore not actual targets.  Afiona was going to decree the severity of the wounds for humans and Companions; she even had a couple extra tents set up for the animals and Companions that were currently being used for shade by anybody off duty.  

When they became a popular gathering spot she arranged for tubs of water just big enough to soak one's feet arranged in the tents with chairs.  After drills she'd often find the tent, and the tubs, packed as men and women cooled off.

Afiona had found a small tent to use as an office with a table, some chairs, and a large bucket of water for whomever, or whatever visited her.  At that moment Nico was making a mess with the water by blowing bubbles.  Afiona sipped her water and watched Nico's happy abandon.  

_:Mama-Afi play too?:_  He asked he stopped playing, water dripped from his long white lashes and his velvety muzzle.

"Shall we brush you?"  She suggested.

Nico tilted his head to the side then bobbed his head in agreement.  _:Bath!:_

Afiona smiled and set aside her water and picked up some towels she had for Nico's baths.  Everyone in the camp was using the nearby river to cool down including Companions.  Nico thought it was the greatest thing since sugared apple slices.

"Let's go see if anyone needs us first."  Afiona led him from the tent.  The wet colt pranced happily behind her.

The Healers still weren't accustomed to Nico's presence but she didn't particularly care, at least the patients thought he was amusing.  "I'm taking Nico for a bath to cool off."  Afiona informed the Healer she had assigned to on to the six shifts to see if he had the right qualities for the position, soon she would cut it down to three shifts and she required at least two others to act as supervisors when she wasn't here, they'd be nearly her equal.  

He nodded curtly.

Afiona ignored his rude silence.  "If you have time make certain we have plenty of clean bandages and such for tomorrow.  After tomorrow we are going to act like we are expecting a flood of patients at anytime."

He nodded again. 

"Also, making certain everybody has a chance to go sit down for a while, we don't want anymore getting heat sick."  Afiona ordered, getting more brisk as she became more irritated by his silence.  "Have your supplies request ready by the end of shift, I am going to send it out tomorrow by Herald."

He nodded a third time, still not even looking at her, making it quite clear he would rather deal with anyone but her.

Afiona turned away and whistled for Nico who was waiting outside.  "Bath time baby."

Nico whickered happily and scampered toward the river.

Four other Companions were enjoying the cooler water and they all greeted Nico with knickers.  Afiona removed her green robes revealing the cut off pants and sleeveless shirt she was wearing in attempt to keep cool.  Nico charged straight into the water towards the others Companions leaving Afiona to make her way down the sandy bank with more decorum. 

She sat in the shallows leaving the deeper water to the Companions, trusting them to keep Nico out of the deeper water.   The riverbank had been unofficially divided up into male, female, and Herald swimming spots with a screen of trees between each.  The Herald's spot was closer to their camp and both genders used it freely.  Males approaching the normal female swimming hole, a calmer little cove, were often chased back to camp fearing for his vitals.

"How's the water?"  Stef asked as he emerged from the screen of trees.

"Cool and wonderful.  Care to join me?"  Afiona asked easily.  Stef was obviously ready for a swim wearing only a pair of old breeches.  He waded in and sat next to her. 

"How's it going with your Healers?"  He asked.

"They are doing as I order, that's enough for now."  Afiona shrugged.  "Working on any new songs?"

"Yes, actually."  Stef cleared his throat uncertainly.

"Well?"  Afiona prodded.

"It's about you and the death of your brother."  Stef confessed.  "If you don't want me to work on it anymore, just say so.  But I had this idea for the verse…"

Afiona listened patiently as he sang the verse for her then eagerly outlined what he had written.  "Stef—"

"Before you say no just remember you told me to write some songs about ordinary men and women."  The Bard reminded her quickly.

"I was going to say those last two lines don't sound right together."  Afiona laughingly explained.  "I have no problem with you making a song of it, better you than someone who doesn't approve of me."

Stef relaxed.  "Good.  Medren and I have been discussing how we can improve morale here as you asked."

"And what have you come up with?"  Afiona asked hopefully.

"Ditties."

"Pardon?"  Afiona asked dubiously.

"Little songs about routing the Karsites.  Make them catchy enough and we'll have the entire camp singing them and maybe believing them if they say it often enough."  Stefen explained. "Nothing you'd ever catch a bard singing of course." 

"Unless he's drunk."  Afiona said teasingly then became serious. "Sounds like it's worth a shot, it certainly can't hurt."  Afiona agreed.  "I've ordered the Healers to give the birth prevention powders to anyone asking for them so maybe they'll enjoy themselves there."

"You're encouraging them to hop into bed?"  Stefen asked with an amused grin.  

"They are young and in a stressful situation, they're going to do it anyway, better to prevent any unwanted children."  Afiona said wryly.  "I also have some of the healers available for talking every afternoon and evening.  Beyond that, it's up to the commanding officers to see to their own.  I'm not going to have Nico thinking happy thoughts at everyone."

Nico paused his playing when he heard his name.  When it was obvious he was not the topic of conversation he returned to splashing.

"What more can you do?"  Stef asked rhetorically, not really expecting any answer from his friend. 

"What I can do and what I will do are to vastly different things.  I can make them all cheerful but that is a violation of ethics of the highest order."  Afiona explained.

Stef lounged back on his elbows so only his head was above the slowly moving water.  "Van was just as unbending about his code of ethics as you are."  He observed.

Afiona studied her friend.  "Feeling lonely today?" She asked quietly.

"Hell yes."  Stef grumbled.

"Everyone around you is pairing off and you're left alone, right?"  Afiona guessed with understanding in her voice.

Stef frowned slightly.  "I wasn't aware I was being so obvious."

"If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way."  Afiona admitted.  "Why haven't you taken a lover?"

Stef stared at her as if she had grown a second and third head.  "But…Van."

"I figured as much."  Afiona turned so she was facing him.  "You feel it would betray him."  She said with a touch of sorrow on his behalf.

"Have I ever told you that it can be very trying having an empath for a friend?"  Stefen grumbled.

"I am not suggesting some wild love affair, I am suggesting you need some companionship."  Afiona explained quickly.  "Maybe some friends that aren't absorbed in some romance right now."

"Like who?  How many people do you know who are actually willing to be friends with someone whose shaych?  They act like it's some contagious disease."  Stefen said bitterly.

Afiona tried to think of something to say and came up empty handed.  "Their loss."  She said finally. "Well, I have to get back before someone can't find just the right width of bandages and has a fit.  I swear, they don't know how to improvise!"  

Stef laughed and stood to help her out of the water.  "Have you talked to Lance yet?"

"When would I have had the time?"  Afiona said with exasperation.

"Can't wait to see his face when he sees you."  Stefen teased as he picked up his large towel and tossed hers to Afiona.

Nico rushed out of the water, his fur spiked out in every direction, to get dried off.  Donning her robes she started back to her tent-office.

Stef draped his towel around his shoulders and accompanied her.  "Do you need any help in the Healers tents?"

"No, no one is in too much pain at the moment.  We have the usual assortment of sunburns and heatstroke, both of which could have been prevented, so I don't have too much sympathy for them."  Afiona said matter-of-factly.  "But if you could watch Niko for me, and make sure he's not getting into trouble I'd be eternally grateful."   

The damp colt looked up hopefully.  _:Stories?:_

"Let me guess, he wants a story."  Stef said dryly.

"If you don't mind."  

Stef rolled his eyes.  "Come on four foot.  We'll see if we can find anyone else who wants to listen."

"Why not the tent across from mine?  It's nicely shaded and there's always somebody there."  Afiona suggested.

"He can keep an eye on his Mama-Afi from there too."  Stef pointed out.  "What shall it be today?  A romantic tale or an adventure?"

_:A Nico story!:_  Nico suggested happily.

"He wants a story about himself."  Afiona relayed.

"Very well, the tale of Nico and the Firebird it is."  Stef said as he led the colt away to change and collect a music instrument or two.

Afiona took the most direct route back to her tent and found three Healers wanting impatiently inside.

"I need more healers on night shift!"  The first said before she could even utter a word.

Afiona held up her hand for silence before the other two could speak out.  "Are any of you here about your patients welfare?"

"I am.  I have a foot soldier from the front who was sent back to recover from an illness but, no matter what I do, he doesn't show any improvement."  The young healer said quickly.

"His name?"  Afiona prompted as she opened her collection of papers that had been sent up with patients.

"Gosil, Aster."  He said obediently.

Afiona located his sheet.  "The healer there suspected it was a blood disease but didn't have time for a more thorough exam apparently.  Had Ilsie take a look; she has experience with blood diseases.  If you are both stumped or if he takes a turn for the worse then come to me again."

He nodded and left.

"Now, you."  Afiona pointed to the Healer that had remained silent so far, making the one demanding more Healers wait impatiently.

"About tomorrow, are we going to be having any spinal injuries?"  She asked worriedly.

"Yes, I'll make certain of it.  Why?"  Afiona asked.

"We don't have any way to keep them immobile."  The conscientious young healer pointed out.

"I'm sure with the hours remaining you and the others can find a suitable substitute in time for tomorrow now that you know. I have every confidence in your combined abilities."  Afiona said confidently.  She had already requested the specialized equipment needed for back injuries in the next shipment but she wanted the healers to learn to make do and improvise. There were going to be times when they were not going to have the materials to hand, and not just in the field. They could easily run out of supplies in the camp if the fighting got nasty enough.

The younger Healer still looked worried.

"You don't have long."  Afiona pointed out gently but with some underlying steel in her voice.  "Get the healers who are off duty and work together.  You are a smart bunch, I know you can come up with something feasible."

The young Healer frowned slightly and nodded as she hurried away.

"Now," Afiona turned to the only remaining Healer. "Why do you need more healers on night shift?"  Afiona asked.  

This particular Healer was both a bane and a blessing.  He was a younger son of a wealthy noble who never had to make do with less, which resulted in him in her tent a couple times a day complaining about pretty much anything that was not ideal.  Also he made no secret that he thought of her, which was not flattering.  But he was also a natural leader, had started studying young so he had more experience than most others here, and he never lost his cool in front of a patient.  All reasons she made him one of the night shift supervisors and was eyeing him to keep that position when shifts were lengthened.

"The ideal ratio is four patients to each healer and I have ten beds to each healer.  What if there's an emergency?"  He demanded.  "If we were flooded as we are assigned right now we'd be lost!"

"But right now you have a ratio of one patient per healer."  Afiona pointed out logically.  "Also, the massive emergencies you are talking about are much more likely to occur during the day since that's when battles occur.  If there's an ambush and you are suddenly flooded, just order the bell rung and everyone comes running."  Afiona gritted her teeth and tried not to let her irritation with the younger man show.  He wasn't even looking at her; he was staring at the wall as if waiting for her to be quiet so he could harangue her again.  "If you don't believe you are capable of handling this shift I can assign you to the afternoon shift to help with the idiots who get heat sick."

His jaw clenched and he glared down at her.  "I can't believe you expect us to make do with half shifts and missing equipment." 

Afiona stood, flattening her palms on the table to keep from making fists.  Her quickly fouling temper was obvious as she leaned forward and glared right back.  "I expect you to make do because we all must.  The front requires the supplies more than we do so odds are we are going to be continuously short of supplies.  Instead of thinking about how much of an obstacle this is posing to you, you should consider _why we are short bandages."  Afiona scolded, keeping her voice pitched lower so her words wouldn't carry beyond the tent's flimsy walls.  "Now I am going to tell you what I told her.  Make do.  The only thing we rank high for is medicine because in the next few weeks we can expect to receive soldiers who have been injured severely enough that they need more than a week to recover.  Since you will be participating tomorrow along with everyone else I suggest you either get some sleep or help the others find some reasonable alternatives."_

He clenched his fists and started to walk away.

Afiona sighed and sat back down, at this rate the boy would storm back home to daddy by the end of the week and she needed all the experienced Healers she could gather.  "Shain, have you wondered why I gave you that shift?"  She asked, hoping to get through his thick skull she wasn't an enemy.

He stopped.  "Because I made no secret that I think you are a cold hearted killer and you thought that giving me this is punishment?"  He snapped.

Afiona shook her head.  "I couldn't care less what your opinion of me is.  If I was insulted by it, I would certainly not have given you a supervising position.  I chose you for the position because you think on your feet, you act confident, and you have more experience than many of the others who have never had to make a life or death decision.  All qualities I need in my night supervisor."

He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at her suspiciously.

"Look, I have quarters over with the Companions."  Afiona pointed out.  "I will come immediately if you call but in our work seconds count.  The other supervising Healers are not as experienced as you so I wouldn't be comfortable giving them the night shift.  Now go cool off or something, don't let our patients see you angry, it weakens their confidence in us." 

He hesitated before turning and leaving with considerably less force than his first attempt.  Afiona sighed and rested her face in her hands.  Hopefully he didn't think she was just stroking his ego to keep him from storming off.

_:You yelled at Mama-Afi!:_  Nico's high pitched mindvoice exclaimed.

"Nico!"  Afiona yelled and ran out of the tent to find her adopted son stomping his hooves and acting decidedly like his father.  _:Daric, your son is imitating you.:_

_:What's he doing?:_  Daric asked worriedly.  Afiona got a fleeting vision of he bursting into a run towards them.

_:He's threatening a Healer.:_  Afiona informed him and stepped forward so Nico could see her and that she was not happy.  Shain stared at Nico like he had grown a second head.

"Don't worry, Shain.  He's just a little protective of his mother."  Afiona said.

Nico's head immediately dropped.

"Nicodimus, what do you say to Shain?"  Afiona prompted.

_:I not sorry.:_  Nico said sullenly.  _:Mama-Afi good, not bad.:_

Shain opened his mouth to say something to Afiona but she quickly interrupted him. 

"He's a baby."  Afiona reminded him flatly before he could utter a word.

_:Mama-Afi is very good.:_  Nico insisted, stomping one hoof.

"Nicodimus, you scared Shain.  Remember what I said about scaring people on purpose?"  Afiona prompted.

Nico turned his head away but Afiona knew he could still see her easily.  _:Scaring people not nice.:_

"That's right.  Now what do you say."  Afiona pushed again.

_:I sorry for scaring.:_  He said finally.  _:Mama-Afi still not bad!:_

Afiona rolled her eyes, that was about as good as the apology was going to get.  "Weren't you listening to a story?"  She asked, hoping to prevent further protestations in her defense.

Nico bobbed his head enthusiastically.  _:Nico and a Firebird story.:_

"And you ran off in the middle of it?  That was rude."  Afiona pointed out.

Nico bobbed his head in agreement and trotted back to Stefen who had watched it all without bothering to get up.

Shain watched Nico leave then turned back to Afiona.  "Did I just hear him?"  He asked incredulously.

"Yes, he hasn't learned not to talk to other humans yet."  Afiona explained.

"He's a Companion."  Shain said in disbelief.

Daric slid to a stop in front of Afiona.  _:Should I ask.:_

_:No, love, just remind him not to talk to strangers.:_  Afiona suggested as she stroked Daric's cheek absently.

Shain's eyes darted between the two and his brow furrowed.

"Nico's father."  Afiona explained.  "I have to go.  He shouldn't pester you again."  Afiona assured Shain, hoping she was right. 

As she walked away Daric stayed at her side stealing a few moments of talk with his chosen before she was again absorbed by her duties.

Shain frowned thoughtfully as he watched her walk away with the Companion before turning decisively the Bard telling stories to the colt.  "Master Bard, may I ask you a few questions?"


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Afiona knelt next to one 'dead' figure.  "A heart shot, sorry, you're dead."

The young man that had just been informed of his early demise playfully clutched his heart and parodied his death throws.  Afiona laughed and stood. 

Looking around she saw three bodies waving, trying to catch someone's attention.

"Alsin, there are three fallen cavalry soldiers out there, what are you going to do?"  Afiona called to one of the young Healers.  

The younger woman, one of the day supervisors, snapped orders to four of the other healers who immediately dashed out to fetch the injured.

The 'cavalry' was actually Heralds and Companions, horses trained for battle could cause more damage than intended.  Afiona straightened and sent the 'dead' soldier to the rear where he would face his senior officers.  

At the next one she studied the slash mark on his right arm.  "I hope you're left handed because you left your arm on the battlefield."  She teased and moved on. 

"Think it'll get me out of chores?"  He asked hopefully.

Afiona chuckled.  The majority were actually treating this exercise more as a game but the general mood of the camp was much improved from when she arrived. 

A Companion with a black slash across her chest waited sheepishly for her turn.

"Where's your Herald?"  Afiona asked, looking around for a white clad body.

She tossed her head at the direction of the battlefield.  

"Still fighting?  Well, you're alive but aren't going to far I'm afraid."  Afiona said lightly.  "But now you know to watch out for those foot soldiers."

The mare hung her head sheepishly and stayed put.

The next woman was sitting up, waiting impatiently to be judged dead or alive.  It took Afiona a few seconds to find her wound.  

"Finally, a back injury.  You aren't walking away from this one.  You can't move from the waist down."  Afiona whistled for the same young woman who had asked about the back injuries.  "This one's yours."

"What about me healer?  Will I survive?"  A Herald asked teasingly. 

She ignored his flirting as she turned his chin so she could see the dark smudge on his cheek.  "You'll survive, this isn't bad enough to take you off the field.  Get back out there."

"Yes Healer."  He rolled easily to his feet and jogged easily back to the fray. 

Afiona looked around for the next victim.  Patients were being bandaged and carted off by the Healers with good speed and none of her Healers had run screaming for Haven yet.  "Any real wounded?"  She hollered.  No one answered.  

"I think we better call an end to this.  It's getting hot."  The Lord Martial commented from behind her.

Afiona nodded.  "I think we have enough wounded to practice on."  She signaled to Mia to sound the horn, calling a halt to the fighting.  Almost immediately the dull clang of pot metals blades ceased.

"The survivors will have a feast tonight, the wounded I am leaving in your tender care."  The Lord Martial said with a teasing bow.  "I'll be leaving in the morning with roughly half the men so don't keep them up all night."

"I won't."  Afiona promised.  "Other than a few sprains I believe everything went well, and those I will have back on their feet in time for dawn maneuvers or marching or whatever else you lot think up.  By the end of the week we should be ready for a nice little triage practice."

The survivors trailed off to wash off leaving the dead to do all the daily chores and the wounded to get patched up.

Afiona waited until the last of the wounded was carried from the field before she headed to the Healer tents.  All the tents had wounded in them, one just of Companions.  She left the Companions in the care of Tika and the two other girls she had assigned to them.  She expected to find chaos in the main two tents but found Shain had taken control as she hoped ordering the others about with authority.  Afiona stayed quite as she watched Shain sort the patients by those who could wait and those who could not.  

A few looked to her to confirm his orders but she just gestured for them to continue.  A girl who was perhaps sixteen at best hurried to her.  "Is it over?"

"Yes, that's the last of them."

"Good, we're out of beds."  She sighed. 

"Well, we have a few bare spots between the beds."  Afiona pointed out, hoping the girl would get the hint and vacate some beds.

"Right."  She said slowly then hurried off.  Afiona wasn't surprised to see a few of the less injured ousted from their cots to sit between them until the healers had time for them.

Afiona collected some scarves from a pile she had set aside and walked down the rows placing scarves on the faces on those who would have bled out by now.  She was generous about the time given to them so there was a minimal of 'deaths'.

"Why's he dead?"  One healer demanded.  "He's just got a wounded arm."

"This slash on his thigh would have caused him to bleed out quickly.  Now get moving.  Argue later, work now."  Afiona ordered.

He scowled but obeyed.

Several candlemarks later she dismissed the wounded to their chores and called all the healers into the dining tent.

"You did well as a rule."  Afiona said as they settled down.  "I was rather surprised not to see a few of our own wounded."

"But, we're healers?"  Someone protested tiredly.  "Why would we be where the fighting is?"

Afiona decided to ignore the question and turned to a young woman that had exceeded her expectations.  "Olgi, I noticed you going out to haul back some of the wounded, I was impressed.  Would you do the same in a real battle?"  Afiona asked.

"Of course.  No sense sitting an' waitin' for them ta come ta us."  Olgi, a sensible farm girl, said with a shrug. 

"Can you ride?"  Afiona asked.

"Course I can.  Me father said I was quite good."  She said uncomfortably.

"Good.  You are to report to the stables in the morning.  I've trained Whisper, my horse, to help retrieve wounded and I see no reason why you can't do the same to another horse."  Afiona asked.  "I have already gotten approval for this and a group of six horses from the Ashkevron herds are assigned to us.  Anyone else interested in trying can report to the stables tomorrow morning, if you have a shift make certain you have someone to cover for you.  You will probably go to the front sooner than the others, keep that in mind.    

"I've made notes but I'd like to discuss them with each of you individually so I can also discuss what your observations are.  If I pull you aside in the next few days, don't be surprised.  Now, I hope everyone is hungry."  Afiona said with a grin.  "Because I do believe the cooks have a feast for us as well."

This was obviously the most welcome part of her entire speech.  As everyone filed over to fill his or her plates Afiona left the tent.  She didn't want to leave the Healers tent untended.

As always the patients were fed first so they could sleep early if they wish.

"You know you are a hard woman to track down?"  Tashir teased as he entered the tent.

"Tashir.  No one told me you were here already.  I thought you were going to be tied up on the front for a few more weeks.  Nothing's wrong, right?"  Afiona asked praying he wasn't here to take any of the raw recruits south.

""I'm here to deliver messages, then we're staying so that Leshya and Nico can work together."  Tashir explained.  "I figured you'd want this immediately."  He offered her a dingy, creased letter.  "It was nearly sent to Haven."

Afiona snatched the letter from his hand and read the address.  "Lance.  I haven't had time to go and talk to him in weeks."  She tucked the letter in a pocket if her robes.  "Did you talk to him?"

Tashir laughed at her barely veiled eagerness to hear anything about Lance.  "I spoke to him.  Informed him that I will not tolerate anyone hurting my cousin and he informed me he already had that lecture from Medren."

"Before he was distracted by Mia, Medren tracked down Lance and warned him off."  Afiona said with a reminiscent smile.  "Nico was barely a week old then."

"What are you going to do when he gets here?"  Tashir asked.

"Gets _here_ he's coming here?"  Afiona was torn between excitement and panic, excitement won.  "When?"

"In the next few weeks.  He's been inside the Karsite border for weeks now so he'll be getting a few days rest here.  Also, you are supposed to check over Carmia."  Tashir explained.

"Inside the Karsite border?"  Afiona repeated worriedly.

Tashir glanced around.  "Maybe we should talk else where."

"I can't leave.  All the other Healers are at dinner."  Afiona said.  "Did he write this down there?"

"No, he wrote this before he left.  They aren't allowed to carry anything personal that could be used against them."  Tashir explained.

Afiona led the way to her office.  Outside she could hear the soldiers celebrating.  "Do you know he's alright?"

"Yes, he's been reporting in regularly."  Tashir assured her.

Afiona sank into her chair.  "Have I mentioned I hate war?  I lost too many friends already."

"I take it he doesn't know you're here."  Tashir said as he took a seat in on of her spare seats.  "I hope I get to see his face when he sees you."

"Healer Afiona, may I speak with you?"  Shain said as he peaked in the door.

"Certainly."  Afiona said to Shain and turned back to her cousin.  "Get settled and I will check Leshya later." 

"I already bespoke a tent."  Tashir said as he stood.  "I'm glad things are going better with the Healers.  I told you eventually they would haul their collectives heads out of the ground and see reason." 

Afiona shook her head as Tashir left.

"Who was that?"  Shain asked.

"My cousin."  Afiona answered.  "There was something you needed to talk to me about?"

"During our practice today I had some ideas."  He said as he assumed the seat Tashir just emptied.  "What about staggering the shifts so we don't have everyone exhausted at once?  And we could move the tents so they'd be shaded by the trees down by the river."

"The trees are infested with bugs.  That's why there are no tents there.  But I like your idea about the staggered shifts."  Afiona said.

Shain pulled his seat forward.  "I have some other ideas, do you have time to hear them?"

"Of course, I just want to make certain everyone is comfortable first."  Afiona stood.

Shain stood quickly.  "I was thinking about what you said, why we are low priority for getting supplies.  We covered how to make medicines in the Collegium, why don't we start making simple medicines here that we could trade with the other camps for their excess?"

"None of the herbs are ready to be harvested in the area."  Afiona pointed out.  "But we could send word back to Haven that we want raw ingredients.  No one else will be requesting them."

Shain was obviously excited now as he followed her down the aisle.  "We should also request playing cards."

Afiona stopped.  "Playing cards?"  She repeated doubtfully.

"And board games.  Our patients are here to recover for a while and we don't want them getting bored."  Shain pointed out.  "It's bad for their state of mind."

"I agree."  Afiona said.

"Really?"  Shain asked eagerly.  "I didn't think you would."

"It should be easy enough to make some boards and make some makeshift pieces."  Afiona pointed out.  "I am not an evil witch you know."

He flushed a dark red.  "I'll go see about the game pieces."  He said quickly.

Afiona sighed in disappointment as he practically ran.  She doubted the Healers would ever completely accept her decision.  After checking on the patients again as the Healers on duty started trickling in she retreated to her tent to read her letter.

~ * ~

Nico shook vigorously launching a flurry of white hairs into the air and yawned.  Mama-Afi was still sitting against the wall in that weird sleep he couldn't wake her from.  He butted her with his nose but she didn't react.

Looking around he snorted.  There was nothing for him to do here.  

Hesitating only a few seconds he pranced out the open door into the star studded night.  His father was sleeping just outside the door where he was always posted.  Nico considered waking him and asking for a story but his stories weren't as good as Medren's or Stefen's.

He could see the other adult Companions sleeping near the tents with their Chosen but he didn't want to play with them either.  He wished Demon were not Forever-Sleeping, then he could have goaded the dog into playing if only for a little while.

  Nico tried to think of someone who'd be awake and remembered the hurt-tent always had people.

It took only a short canter for him to reach the tent and slip inside.  No few of the green-people stared at him as he looked around.  

"What are you doing here?"  A semi familiar asked.

Nico looked around and found the man who was mad at Mama-Afi standing Almost directly behind him.  Nico's ears flipped back until they were almost flat against his head as he turned around. 

 _:You!  You a bad man!:_  Nico hollered.  _:You made Mama-Afi sad and Mama-Afi supposed to be happy.  Mama Afi not bad!:_

He stomped his hooves and snorted at the healer trying to intimidate him.  __

"Relax Nicodimus."  Shain said as soothingly as possible.

Nico snorted and stomped up to him and butted him in the chest hard enough to send him stumbling back.  _:Papa says Mama-Afi has a big heart but you're blind so you can't see it.:_  Nico butted him in the chest again.  _:If Mama-Afi wasn't a good person Papa would never Chosen her.:_

"What?"  Shain said in disbelief. 

_:Papa says only dummies blame Mama-Afi for what he did.:  _Nico hit him one last time sending him tumbling into the dirt.

Nico stared down at the Healer in disbelief.  _:Sorry!  I knocked you down on accident.  Are you hurt?  I get Mama-Afi, she makes hurts go away.:  _He started past Shain then stopped.  _:Mama-Afi's gonna be mad.  I told.:_

Shain quickly got to his feet and waved the concerned Healers away.  "You told what?"

_:That Mama-Afi got Chosed by Papa.  I'm not supposed to tell.:_  Nico said and hung his head.  __

"What's going on?"  One of the Healers asked.

"He's Healer Afiona's son."  Shain explained.  "He's just here for a visit."

"He just attacked you."  The healer protested.

Nico raised his head and looked around worriedly.  _:Uh oh.:_

"He's just upset with me over something I said.  He already apologized."  Shain protested.

Nico shook his head.  _:I sorry for knocking you over.  But you still bad man.:_

Shain chuckled.  "Well, I am sorry, I should never have yelled at Mama-Afi."

Nico's ears pricked up.  _:I sorry I scare you.:_

"Where is Mama-Afi?"  Shain asked.

_:She's sleeping.:_  Nico explained.  _:You play?:_

Shain shook his head in wonder, he had never expected to actually speak to a Companion but speaking to Nico was like talking to a little boy.  "We can't play here.  Here we make people feel better."

_:I do that!:_  Nico said excitedly.  _:But Mama-Afi says people have to feel some sads so they can feel the happies too.:_

"We're like Mama-Afi, we make hurts go away."  Shain explained.

_:I can't do that.:_  Nico informed him.  _:You need Mama-Afi to help?:_

"No, we're fine.  If we need her we can call for her.  Why don't you go make sure she's still sleeping?"  Shain suggested.

_:I go.:_  Nico started to the door.  _:I tell Mama-Afi you say sorry too.:_

"I'll tell her."  Shain assured him.

_:Bye bye!:_  Nico called as he trotted out into the night.

~ * ~

Afiona was exhausted from her searching the night before when she stepped into her office the next morning to speak to the Night shift before they sought their beds.

"Mama-Afi, I didn't expect you this early."  Shain said in surprise from behind her desk.  "I was just going to leave you a note."

"What did you just call me?"  Afiona said blearily.

"Mama-Afi.  It seems to suit you."  Shain said with a mischievous grin.

"You talked to Nico."  Afiona said as she sat in one of the free chairs.  

"He popped in last night and set me straight."  Shain explained.  "I'm going to scare up some breakfast before trying to get some sleep do you want any?"

Afiona frowned suspiciously.  She was never at her best before dawn.  "I thought you considered me a cold blooded killer."

"Yeah, about that."  Shain cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions.  You are no more cold blooded that I am."

Afiona's eyebrows shot up in surprise.  "What changed your mind?"

"I hauled my head out of the dirt and asked around to find out what happened.  I didn't realize he had tried to kill you before and that you weren't even the one who caused his injuries."  Shain said uncomfortably.

"That doesn't make me a saint."  Afiona warned.  

Shain nodded.  "None of us are."  Standing he straightened his robes.  "I'll get you some breakfast when I get mine." 

Afiona watched him leave with confusion written over her features before deciding not to analyze his change of heart to closely.  

Pulling out the list of Healers she started drawing up a new schedule.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Lance was tired to his bones from the long ride but he was well aware Carmia was in worse shape.  He was grateful the Circle had ordered them to report in to this camp, set back from the fighting to get some rest and to get checked over by a Healer.  

He'd spent the last two months on the front, most of the time actually behind enemy line fruitlessly searching for the Karsite guerillas that had been nibbling at the Valdemaran defenses since spring.  Both he and Carmia were drawn as tight as harp wires. 

The guerillas would attack then quickly retreat back into Karse.  Ever since Afiona caught their little band sent to cause murder and mayhem in Valdemar's borders they had been keeping their time actually on Valdemaran land to a minimum, which made Lance's job more difficult.  Lance's superiors suspected they were in fact Karsite regulars because every time they got back to their side of the front they were impossible to find.  They had not yet found a single man for Afiona to Watch that was included in every single one of the multiple attacks.

Lance banished the grim thoughts of the fruitless chase from his mind and thought of their brief break from hide and go seek.  Perhaps there would even be a letter from Afiona waiting for them.  He hadn't spoken to her since before he started this latest assignment and it had been longer since her last letter.  He knew it was probably because she was busy with her duties but doubt kept gnawing at the corner of his mind that she had found someone else who was closer, perhaps a fellow Healer.

_:I can smell the camp, we're nearly there.:_  Carmia informed him.  _:We have to cross the river.:_

Lance wiped his brow with his sleeve.  _:Perhaps we should stop to cool off before we report in.:_

_:Good idea.  Might be a couple candlemarks before you can get away to wash the dust of the road off.:_  Carmia agreed.  _:Besides, you should put your uniform to rights before you ride into the camp.:_

Lance looked down at his uniform, his tunic was tied behind the saddle, as were his boots.  The ties at the neck of his shirt were undone in a desperate attempt to cool off.  _:Or at least put my boots back on.:_

_:At least.:_  Carmia agreed.  _:Can you hear the river?:_

Lance listened carefully and heard the river gurgling.  "Sounds close.  We'd probably see it if not for the trees."  

They had chosen to ride inside a long stretch of forest that curved from down near the last camp he had reported to, to up behind this training camp.  The ride was nearly twice as long but the foliage was not as parched and the ground more forgiving for Carmia's tired hooves.

_:It might take longer, but it's worth the shade to ride through the forest, don't you think?:_  Carmia asked as she broke into a easy canter, dodging bushes and branches with ease.  Lance barely had time to realize her plot before she slammed into the water sending up a sparkling spray of cool water and soaking them both.

Lance laughed and slid from the saddle.  Letting Carmia leisurely cross the slow moving river he ducked under the water and started swimming across.  The water was blessedly cool and reviving.

Halfway across Lance could feel someone watching him.  Looking around he noticed a Companion stallion on the far bank.  Dipping his head in greeting he wandered off past the screen of trees.

_:Now everybody should know you're here.  A little battered and bruised but still hale and whole.:_  Carmia said and pushed through the water at a more hurried pace.

Lance absently rubbed his shoulder and the dark bruise there, just one of many he had accumulated in the past months.  This one had come from diving off Carmia's back on to the unforgiving ground but a bruise was better than the damage that arrow would have inflicted.  

_:Hopefully there are some friends to visit with while we're here.:_  Carmia emerged dripping on the other shore.

Lance stood in the water that came up to his chest and watched her eagerly climb the other shore.  _:There must be someone here you are eager to see.:_

_:There is a handsome young stallion I do wish to see so please hurry.:_  Carmia said with a flick of her tail that sent drops flying at him.

Lance decided against teasing her at the moment, saving his comments for the morning, and followed her out of the water.  As expected his saddlebags, which held only one other uniform, were soaked.

"Come on, let's report in, get you checked over, and then we can make the most of our break."  Lance suggested as he stepped onto a rock and from there onto the grassy bank.

Carmia's step was obviously lighter as she led the way to the large, dark barn.  

"Lance, heard you were coming in."  Herald Tashir hailed him as he walked towards them with a towel over one shoulder.

"Hey, heard you were down here with us other moving targets."  Lance greeted him.  "Have you heard from your cousin?"  

"Yes, she's busy but that's to be expected.  Nico is being quite a handful.  I believe there is a letter or something kicking around here for you."  Tashir said with a knowing grin.

"I hope so."  Lance said sincerely.

"Lance!"  A familiar and completely unexpected voice called to him.

Turning he saw Afiona running towards him.  "Afiona?"  He said in disbelief.

"Oh gods, I can't believe you're here."  Afiona said as she reached him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  

Instinctively, still recovering from the surprise of seeing her here, he wrapped his arms around here.  She surprised him further by pulling his head down and kissing him.  At the same time he Felt the gentle brush of her mind against his.  He pulled her tighter against his body.

_:Mama-Afi!:_  Nico's voice interrupted the pair, causing them to pull apart enough that Afiona could turn to see Nico come barreling out of the stable with something gray attached to his tail.

_:Oh my, he's grown.:_  Carmia commented with almost awe.

Nico slid to a stop in front of Afiona.  Lance could see the gray object was a cat that was holding onto the colt's tail for dear life.  Afiona chuckled and gently disengaged the cat from Nico's tail.  Almost instantly the cat relaxed and start purring.  Nico, free from his attacker, finally turned his attention to the new comers.

_:Mama-Afi!  Lance and Grandma are here!:_  He said, practically bouncing in excitement before he rushed forward to greet them.  Afiona stepped back to let Nico greet his grandmother and Lance with his usual exuberance.

Lance scratched Nico's ears and commented on how big he was getting before he slipped over to Afiona again.  Afiona put the cat down and clasped her hands in front of her.

"I missed you."  She said unnecessarily.

"Do you forgive me?"  He asked.

Afiona frowned in confusion.  "For what?"

"For scaring you when I was leaving."  Lance reminded her.

Afiona laughed and stepped forward to wrap her arms around him and rest her cheek on his shoulder.  "I never blamed you.  That was a bad day."

"Good."  Lance said, holding her close, hoping she wasn't just happy to see him.

"Why are you all wet?"  Afiona asked finally.

"Carmia and I took a short cut through the river.  She knew you were here, didn't she?"  Lance asked suspiciously.

"I imagine she did."  Afiona admitted.  "Why don't we get Carmia unsaddled so she can spend some time with Nico?  Then we can find some place for you to sleep."

"Any suggestions?"  He asked hopefully.

Afiona's cheeks became tinged with pink.  "I'd suggest my cabin, but I'm afraid Nico still insists on sleeping near me."

"So no privacy?"  Lance said with a sigh.

"Precisely."  Afiona nodded.  

"I'm certain we can manage something."  He whispered in her ear.

Afiona stood on her toes and kissed him again.  "I'm sure we can find a few hours just for us."  She said in a soft whisper.

"I better find a tent and get some new uniforms.  Where can I find you later?"  Lance reluctantly drew away. 

"I'm over at the Healers tent during the day.  Any of the Healers or Heralds should be able to locate me."  Afiona informed him.  "And I want you in my office before sundown."

Lance grinned wickedly.

"To take a look at that shoulder."  Afiona clarified.  "Trust me, there is no privacy in my office either.  I have to get going.  Some injured just arrived and Shain can only cover for me for so long."

Afiona squeezed his hand and hurried away.

"Gods, you should've seen your face."  Tashir commented.

"Definitely worthy of being made into a song."  Medren laughed.

Turning Lance saw the Herald and Bard that had paused to watch him and Afiona.  Considering both of these men had threatened him on Afiona's behalf teasing was better than what he was expecting from seeing them again.

"Turning into a pair of voyeurs?"  He asked uncomfortably.

Tashir laughed and shook his head.  "We were just curious what your expression would be.  And how Afiona would react to you, of course."

"Lance, should have known you'd show up sooner or later."  Mia greeted as Lika slid to a stop between him and the other men.  "I just passed Afiona and she looked like she was walking on clouds."

"I have to go unsaddle Carmia and get a tent."  Lance gestured to his Companion who was listening avidly to absolutely everything Nico had to say.

Mia slid to the ground.  "Let's see, there are a few empty tents at the moment.  I assume you'd like an empty one."

Tashir cleared his throat meaningfully.  "I assume you aren't suggesting he requires privacy because of my cousin."

Mia rolled her eyes and Lika whickered in amusement.  "What?  You still think she's some innocent virgin?  You have Medren to thank for relieving her of that status."

"What?"  Both men chorused in unison.

"She told you that?"  Medren said in disbelief.

"You'd be _amazed_ what we girls talk about."  Mia said.

"You slept with Afiona?"  Tashir demanded of Medren in a tone that made it quite clear the honest answer was probably not the best one.

Lance wasn't certain whether he should take advantage of the distraction or stay and see what would happen next.

"Come on."  Mia ordered, making up his mind for him.  "I have a list of empty tents in my tent.  I'm certain we can find some nice secluded one while the boys battle it out."

"Thanks for watching out for Afiona while I was gone."  Lance said as they made their way to Mia's tent.

"Trust me, it was nothing.  When that girl is riled she can take care of herself.  Here's a tip, if you do get her mad don't duck, get far, far away."  Mia recommended.

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I'll remember that."  Lance said.

"You remember hearing about that scouting patrol caught behind Karsite lines?  Afiona was the one who got them out."  Mia said as she looked around for anyone who could be listening.  "She used her Empathy to do it.  Blasted them with some memory of hers and the Karsites dropped everything and ran.  The Lord Martial thinks it was Tashir who did it but by then he had already passed out.  Within days the Karsites had managed to block Tashir too so she hasn't been expected to recreate the attack."

"What does she think of it all?"  Lance asked worriedly.

"She's far more practical than other Healers.  She did say she's probably left those men with permanent psychic scars and she regrets it, but at least they are alive."  Mia said with a hint of the worry that was bothering her.  "If the Lord Martial does find out you know what will happen, he'll try and order her to empathically blast another troop and I don't think Afiona would be willing to do it."

Lance nodded worriedly.  "What do you think she'd do though?  You've been closer to her."

"I'd lay odds she'd go to the front and stop spying for him.  The Healers have been giving her grief again so they wouldn't be able to sway her choice.  Actually it's been nonstop since that bastard brother of hers got what he deserved."  Mia's face darkened but Lance was uncertain whether it was the Healers or Afiona's unlamented brother that caused it.  "She's always been torn about sending someone else into battle when she can't go herself.  The last time the Council tried to take her off Companion duty she told them to go to hell and that the Companions were her first and primary duty."

"Do they know she can kill long distance?"  Lance asked, recalling the Herald she had killed.

"Hell no.  They still think the Karsites were responsible."  Mia looked extremely sad.  "How many have we lost since then?  I lost count."

"Twenty-seven."  Lance said quietly.

"I don't need to be told the war is going badly."  Mia said.  "I have a Herald who was Chosen only a year ago in Whites because he can fight.  His Gift hasn't even fully manifested yet and odds are it never will.  We know what this camp is for; it's to get the children ready to go farther south.  Afiona is the oldest Healer here by more than two years.  She's doing miracles with those baby healers of hers but she shouldn't have to."

"We've retreated too far already."  Lance informed her.  "I'd say by the time the leaves on the trees start to change it will be decided one way or another."

~ * ~

"Hey, Mama-Afi?"  Shain called as he poked his head in her tent.

Afiona looked up from her endless lists, this one the supplies they needed badly.  "Yes?"  She asked, expecting to hear more bad news, like another shipment of necessary supplies had been redirected to another camp.

"I have good news this time."  Shain assured her.  "That folk remedy of Olgi's actually worked."

"Which one?"  Afiona asked in confusion.

"For the sores.  She had a poultice they used to use on the pigs back home, remember?"  Shain flopped into the seat across from her and propped his heals on the table.  "It works like a charm so we have another remedy we can start shipping to the front in exchange for more wounded."

"Wonderful."  Afiona said.  "Make sure you mention it at supper tonight."

"Why?"  Shain asked curiously.

"Because they need their confidence shored up right now.  They're losing some of their patients, most for the first time, and at the moment they need to hear we are doing something good."  Afiona explained.

"No, I mean why do I say it?"  Shain clarified.

Afiona flushed.  "I have plans this evening." 

Shain's feet dropped to the ground with a soft thud.  "Oh?  With who?"

Afiona blushed again.  To avoid answering she poured herself a cup of water from the bladder at her elbow.

"Ah, someone you love romantically."  He said astutely.

"Shain!  You aren't supposed to scan others if you are not in a healing situation."  Afiona protested.

"Actually, I was taking a shot in the dark."  Shain grinned crookedly.

Afiona rolled her eyes in exasperation.  Sometime in the last month he decided to like her and she wasn't certain if Shain as a friend was better than Shain as an enemy.  He ribbed her constantly and called her Mama-Afi so often half the Healers were mimicking him.  "Listen Boy-Healer, my romantic life is none of your concern.  I have enough trouble keeping the Bards and the Heralds out of it."

"Speaking of Bards, have you heard that new song from your friend Stef?  Quite the tale.  Then there is also the one Medren has been singing at least once an evening."  Shain commented casually.

"Which ones?"  Afiona asked.  "The recounts of my brother and father's deaths?"  

Shain stared at her.

"Yes, that is my brother Daric killed."  Afiona said stiffly.

"Oh, I knew that.  I was more stunned about the fact that Medren's song is about your father.  I thought it was about your brother too."  Shain said in confusion.

"What one are you talking about then?"  It was Afiona's turn to be confused.

"Medren's song was about how you single handedly prevented your brother from killing Tashir and were injured in the process.  He even sung about your dog, Demon.  How you could speak to him and he was your protector."  Shain explained.  "Some of the other Healers, I think you know who, think you slept with them to get them to write the songs but most have decided that there was more to the story than the surface."

"That's good to hear."  Afiona said and leaned back in her chair.

"What really convinced them was that you never tried to win them over."  Shain said.  "Got them curious so they went and asked the Heralds and the Bards for the real story."

"Afiona?"  Lance called.  Leaning to the side Afiona could see him peering into the main tent.  Her cheeks colored and she straightened her robes 

"That must be the lucky man."  Shain said, leaning back to see what she was looking at.  "A Herald, go figure.  I'll see you later."

Afiona stood and walked him to the door where Lance saw her and strode over.  

"Afiona, there you are."  Lance greeted her with a warm smile and a heated look.

"Be good."  Shain said as he walked past Lance.  "Talk to you later Mama-Afi."

"What was that about?"  Lance asked in confusion.

"Shain's my night supervisor."  Afiona said and gestured for him to enter her office.  "Nico talks to him when he can't find me."

As soon as Lance entered she untied the tieback on the tent door and closed it, a sign she wasn't to be disturbed unless it was an emergency or Nico, since he didn't understand the concept of privacy.

"Off with the shirt."  Afiona ordered, gesturing for him to take a seat.

Lance obediently removed his shirt and tunic and set it on the table.  "Your turn."

"Nice try."  Afiona laughed and bent over to examine the bruise.  "Some tendon damage in there.  Do you have to be anywhere for a while?"

"No, I did everything before reporting to you."  Lance assured her.

"Good, let's see what we can do about making it so you can shoot a bow again."  Afiona's gentle hands were placed over the bruise and he felt a rush of warmth to the area.  This type of injury she was very familiar with and she didn't need to trance to deal with.

"I found a tent on the edge of the camp."  Lance informed her.  "No tentmate."

Afiona blushed and glanced at the door.  

"Expecting someone?"  Lance asked jealously.

"No.  Just expecting to be interrupted."  Afiona removed her hands from his shoulder revealing the bruise was now half its previous size.

"That's it?  I didn't feel any pain."  Lance said in awe.

"I learned how to pain block."  Afiona admitted.  "Originally it was so I didn't have to drug the wild animals."

"You did it very well.  Last time they needed me in a trance to pain block."  Lance rotated his shoulder and winced.

"Hey, give it some time."  Afiona ordered.  "I can't heal it all at once but you should be good in a couple more days."

Lance sat back as she continued examining him.  

"You're like one big walking bruise."  Afiona observed.  "But nothing permanent."

"Are we done now?"  He asked.

"Yes.  I'll check Carmia tonight or tomorrow but she seemed fine earlier."  Afiona handed him back his shirt and tunic.

Lance stood and pulled on his clothing.  "I guess I better get going."

"I'll be off in about a candlemark.  Perhaps we could have supper."  Afiona suggested.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."  Lance assured her.  "At your cabin?"

"Sounds good."  Afiona agreed.

Lance leaned down to steal a kiss as the tent flap opened.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be the responsible adult here."  Shain teased.

"Shain!"  Afiona glared at him.

"There's a door there for a reason."  Lance growled.

"Sorry, but we need Afiona."  Shain said with absolutely no remorse over the interruption.

Afiona sighed and followed Shain to the main tent.

Lance scowled then sighed and left the tent.  At least he would have a chance to be alone with her later and this time _she _had invited _him_, which was even better.

~ * ~

Afiona practically staggered into the cabin much later than expected.  Lance took one look at her exhausted face and gave up on any amorous events for the night.

"What happened?"  He asked worriedly.

"I got a message from the Lord Martial to scout out a particular area then one of our patients took a turn for the worse, then we ran out of viela, which was the last pain killer we had in stock, I have Stef in there now singing for them but he can't last long."  Afiona sank onto her bed.

"So, you need pain medications?"  He said thoughtfully.  

"We are keeping the ones in the worst shape sleeping as much as possible and using willow bark on the rest but we are short clean bandages and cots and everything else too.  I already ordered three Heralds to other camps to bring back what they can spare."  Afiona patted the blanket next to her and Lance sat next to her.  Immediately she leaned against his shoulder.

"Are you usually so tired?"  Lance asked.

"No, but usually I don't have to Heal so much."  Afiona yawned.

"You're healing people?"  Lance asked in surprise. "Other than Heralds I mean.  You mentioned you were trying to keep the Heralds in one piece." 

"I'm healing pretty much anything that moves lately."  Afiona admitted.  "More and more animals I have to order put down.  Thankfully the Companions are able to do some healing themselves."

Lance pulled her close.  "You need to eat," he reminded her.

Afiona chuckled softly.  "I thought that was my line."

"I couldn't dig up anything fancy, but it's too hot for that anyway."  Lance explained as he fetched the cloth wrapped bundle.  "Cheese, bread, some cold ham, but not much else I'm afraid." 

"That sounds like plenty."  Afiona assured him.

Lance opened the bundle on her lap hoping she would take the hint and eat enough to replenish the energies she spent.  "I noticed the Heralds are rather segregated from the others in this camp."

"That's because of me.  Some people who can't go to a regular Healer come to me in the night.  The Heralds are away from the others so it isn't suspicious that I am off in the middle of nowhere.  There is a cellar they can hide in.  Currently it's blessedly empty."  Afiona explained as she made a sandwich.  

"How many have there been through here?"  Lance asked, worried that she was stretching herself dangerously thin.

"I can't tell you that.  I shouldn't have even told you they were coming here."  Afiona frowned pensively.  "You are entirely too easy to talk too."

Lance shrugged ant placed and arm around her shoulders to hold her close.  "Be careful about how much you take on.  You're only human."

Afiona chuckled.  "I don't have much choice about how much I take on.  I have to follow orders just like you do."

"True."  Lance conceded.  

"I don't think I can eat another bite."  Afiona said and set down her sandwich, which was barely half eaten.

"Eat or I'll go get Shoe-in or whatever his name is."  Lance threatened.  

"Shain."  Afiona corrected.  "And don't you dare.  I'll eat so long as you stay right here."

Lance laughed.  "Sounds like a good deal.  It's different having you actually here."

Afiona nodded.  "For one you are a lot more guarded with your expressions."

"I am not."  Lance protested.

"You are.  When you couldn't see me you often acted like I couldn't see you.  Right now you are acting like nothing is bothering you but you're disappointed about something."  Afiona pointed out.

Lance started to protest that she was way off when he recalled she was an empath.  "I'm a little disappointed you're tired, that's all."

Afiona smiled and shifted so she was straddling his lap.  He stared at her in surprise.  "I'm feeling much more…energetic already." 

~ * ~

Lance woke when the thin blanket covering him and Afiona was yanked off.  Bolting upright Lance found himself face to face with the last thing he wanted to see.

Nico.

Afiona shrieked and hauled up her blankets up to her chin.  "Nico!  What are you doing here?"

_:I sleep with Mama-Afi too.:_  Nico said innocently as he lowered himself on Afiona's other side.  _:Lance want a story?:_  

Lance looked at Afiona then at the Companion.  "I think it's better to sleep."  He suggested wryly.

Nico looked disappointed and Afiona gave Lance an apologetic look.  _:Sorry.:_

_:They say that you don't get much time with a Healer but what you do get is worth it.:_  Lance told her and kissed the base of her neck affectionately.

Nico's head shot up and he stared at the pair of them.  _:What's that?:_

_:He's an empath.  He wants to know what we're feeling.:_  Afiona explained.  _:Daric, your son!:_

_:Huh?:_  Daric said sleepily as his head appeared in the open doorway.  _:Oh, Nico.:_  He sighed.  _:Mama-Afi wants some time with just Lance right now.  She missed him remember?:_

Nico sighed and lurched to his feet.  _:But I want Mama-Afi to tell a story!:_

_:If you let her sleep now she can get up early and go for a swim with you.:_  Daric pointed out.

Nico's ears pricked up and he hurried out the door.  Daric carefully pulled it shut behind him.

Afiona was still flushed a brilliant pink.  "Sorry."

"I understand."  Lance said and lay back down.  "At least it wasn't earlier."  

Afiona turned and even brighter shade of red.  

Lance brushed a curl away from her face.  "Are you going back to sleep?"

"Days start early for me."  Afiona said as she settled on the thin mattress again.

Lance resigned himself to leaving when Afiona curled against his side with her head on his shoulder.

"Don't worry, I don't expect anyone to keep the hours I do, I'll try not to wake you."  Afiona said with a yawn as her eyes closed.

Lance liked the feel of her there, after courting a ghost for months he finally had the flesh and blood woman in his arms.  Picking up the charm that still hung around her neck he studied the hunting charm hanging there.  The two dogs captured mid pursuit had lost some of their detail, probably from much rubbing.  He was glad Afiona had found some comfort in the gift.  His fingers encountered an unexpected lump on the back prompting him to turn it over to reveal the charm he had sent for her.  He was beyond pleased to find she had kept it so close to her heart.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Lance shook his head when he found Afiona asleep at her desk for the third time.  His second day here they received word that a Senior Healer was coming to inspect Afiona's methods since she was not following the norm.  She had Healers training with the soldiers both on foot and on horseback, which had not been done before.  She had more make-do supplies than Haven shipped supplies.  Her entire command structure was informal allowing for more flexibility. 

It simply wasn't how things were done.

That was two days ago.  Since then Nico hadn't even had a chance to get his promised bath.

"Afiona?"  He said softly and touched her arm to find she didn't respond.

_:I think she's in a trance, again.:_  Carmia suggested.  _:Now, the question is, did she do it deliberately or by accident.:_

Lance searched her desk and found a slip of paper with directions.  _:Deliberately.  This looks like directions on where to watch.  I didn't realize they were communicating with her so openly.:_

_:They aren't.  They contact her via Companion and that's how she reports back to them.  Fast and effective.:_  Carmia explained.

Afiona groaned slightly and sat up.  "Gods, my head hurts.  Lance! What're you doing here?"

"To see if I can help."  Lance explained.  "I haven't seen you for more than a few seconds since the other morning anyway."

Afiona blushed and smiled.

"So, what do you need me to do?"  Lance asked.

"I need medical supplies."  Afiona said bluntly.  "The beds are clean, the wounded are tended to–I just don't have medicines for a camp this size."

"The Heralds haven't come back yet?"  Lance asked.

Afiona shook her head.  "Not yet but they'll be here soon.  They've got some, as much as the others could spare."

"They're probably letting their narrow-minded prejudice get in the way."  Lance suggested with disgust.  "How can they call themselves Healers after how they've treated you?"

Afiona shook her head.  "They would never short me medicines in revenge.  That would hurt the patients.  

"Still, making you scrimp and scramble to get anything is rather petty."  Lance grumbled.  "This is all a rather backhanded promotion if you ask me.  They're treating you like you're some sort of necessary evil, rather than a fellow Healer." 

"They're still wondering how I can be a healer and ignore someone in pain.  They're going to watch me carefully for any misstep.  I'm sure they are questioning my former patients and the young Healers that move on to other camps."

Lance tried sitting on the corner of her desk only to have it groan and quiver under his weight so he stood back up.  "So, you expect them to be critical."

"Honestly, yes."  Afiona admitted as she started straightening her desk.  "I can't blame them."

Lance rolled his eyes.  "Well, I can.  You're doing good here."  He leaned over her shoulder to see what she was trying to hide with her paper shuffling and caught a glimpse of a list of things to be done.

"I need to get to work.  I need to make a good impression."  She stopped fiddling with the papers.  "I'm sorry I don't have more time but with the inspection…" 

"You're nervous."  Lance observed pulled a chair around and sat next to her.  "Don't be.  The majority of your underlings think you're wonderful.  The patients praise you to the Havens.  You have a small contingent of Healers willing to risk their lives to pull wounded off the battlefield.  You have even managed to give the new healers experience."

Afiona leaned forward and kissed him quickly.  "Thank you."  

"If you really don't need me, I think I'll go join some of your wounded for a hounds and hinds tournament."  Lance said.

"Remember, some of them are drugged so go easy on them and no drinks."  Afiona ordered.

"Yes ma'am."  Lance laughed and left her to her endless lists.  

Afiona collected the list of 'we absolutely need these' and glared glumly at it.  

"Healer?"  One of her patients poked his head in.

"Come in."  Afiona invited.

He only limped slightly as he entered and rather than the plain tunic and loose pants they gave the patients to make accessing their wounds easier he wore the uniform of a major.  "I wanted to thank you."

"For what?"  Afiona asked curiously.

"You saved my leg, did you not?"  He asked.

"Any Healer would have done the same."  Afiona assured him.

"No, on the front they wanted to amputate."  He said with a wince.  "I fought to keep it."

"If they had amputated you probably wouldn't have had such a severe infection."  Afiona pointed out.

"Healer, a soldier must have all his limbs to make a living."  He countered.  "Because of you I can go back to my men."

Afiona decided not to argue with him.  "You're welcome then.  Try not to end up back here, alright?"

"I'll work on it."  He laughed.  "Listen, some of my men captured a caravan that got lost a couple weeks ago.  It had medical supplies, could you use them here?"

Afiona gaped.  "Of course."

"Good, I already suggested the wagon end up here.  I noticed you are a little short on some meds."  He said.

Afiona glanced upward, thanking whatever gods were blessing her, then at him.  "You, Major, are a saint."  She informed him.  "Do you have any idea when it will get here?"

"It's part of the next shipment of wounded most likely."  He shrugged.  "Thank you again Healer."

Afiona watched him walk away before she practically ran to the main Healers tent.  Shain was sleeping on a cot next to the door.  She was starting to wonder if he had given his tent to someone else.  "Shain!"

He bolted up right and stared at her bleary eyed.  "What?"

"We are getting some meds courtesy of the Karsites."  She explained excitedly. 

"Karsite medicines?"  He repeated.  "Why?"

"They captured a caravan that was lost and got too close to the border."  Afiona explained.  "It should be here with the next load of wounded."

"The medicine is useless unless we have someone who can tell us how to use it."  Shain pointed out.

"I can do that."  Afiona assured him.  "Now when is the next shipment of wounded expected?"

"They were supposed to leave the other camp yesterday, so probably today or tomorrow."  Shain guessed.  "Depends one how swiftly they can move with those wagons or if there were any changes in plans."

"Wonderful."  Afiona sat back on her heels and nibbled on her bottom lip.  "Talk to those on your shift that are from this border, see if they're familiar with any of the medicines.  I'll talk to the others."

She hurried off leaving the grumbling Healer to either get up or return to slumber as he chose.  She thought that if he didn't want to be pestered he should move back to his tent. 

_:And how do you plan on learning how to use those meds?:_  Daric asked.

_:Can you loan me a bit of power?  If I can watch the Karsite Healers, then I can learn exactly how to use their there medicines.:_  Afiona explained.

_:And exactly when are you going to do that?:_  Daric asked in exasperation.  _:Soul-sister, you can only do so much.:_

Afiona paused outside to look up at the brilliant blue sky.  _:I know, and I'll be damned if I'm going to do it half way.  I can help these people, I can watch the border, and I can watch and learn.  I can even do it waking so long as I don't have to focus completely on something here.:_

Daric heaved a mental sigh.  _:No one in their right mind can say you don't pull your own weight.:_

Afiona continued to her office.  _:Did you hear, when the front is pulled back we won't move.:_

_:What!  Where did you hear that?:_  Daric demanded worriedly.  

_:About a candlemark ago from Dagin.  Notice the' when'?  He didn't say 'if'.:_  Afiona said.  _:Which makes this sudden inspection make sense.:_

_:There is no way he could remove you from the reins, you haven't lost any patients to that were within your abilities to save.  But if more Healers come here will you still be Senior Healer?:  _Daric asked.

_:Yes, once a camp is assigned to a Healer they remain in command unless the Healer requests removal or proves unable to handle the job.:  _Afiona explained.  _:Which means I am going to probably have double or triple the number Healers under me and gods know how many patients.  I better requisition another couple cooks and a big mess tent before they're dumped on our doorstep.:_

_:They'll be bringing their cooks from the front.:_  Daric reminded her.  _:Thankfully you don't have to worry about housing them.  They'll have their own tents unless they have to move quickly.:_

_:I need to know how many they have on the front!  And which camps retreat to us.  All I get is 'when we retreat you won't be pulling back' and I have a camp full of children!:_  Afiona complained.

Daric's mind chuckle made her bristle.  _:They're hardly children.  You treated them like capable adults and they rose to the occasion.  They are as efficient and hard working as any other group out here.  They are also easy going and have an excellent relationship with their patients which is just as important as healing them.  Shain's idea of the games is positively brilliant, instead of spending time contemplating dark thoughts they are active and at least keeping their minds active.:_

_:Shain has been a godsend.:_  Afiona said with fervor.  _:Still a pain in the rear at times, but a godsend none the less.:_

_:Perhaps he has been trying to impress you.:_  Daric suggested.  _:You could have two men vying for your attentions.:_

_:Don't even think that around Lance, he's been jealous enough of Shain already.  Shain does not desire me.:_  Afiona said with confidence.  _:He probably thinks I'm too old.:_

_:Well, you think he's still wet behind the ears so I suppose it's fair.:_  Daric said with obvious amusement.

Afiona sighed and shook her head.  Daric was also convinced a good number of Heralds were courting her, which she considered highly unlikely.  _:I wish you'd stop seeing romance around every corner.:_

_:You have Lance so you do have a romance.  I'm not imagining it.:_  Daric huffed.

Afiona chuckled dryly.  _:Love, in case you weren't paying attention, he leaves the day after tomorrow and we've had one night together!  I have been too bloody busy to even cuddle!:_

_:You should be able to get off early tonight, right?  You've done everything you can to get ready.:_  Daric said, obviously thinking she should grab a night for herself before things went to hell.

_:Actually, I have lots to do tonight, and we are expecting _more_ wounded today or tomorrow.  On top of that I have to spy on the Karsite Healers to see what they use to for pain and such.:_  Afiona sighed.  _:We should send Nico back soon.:_

Daric sighed.  _:I know.  But how are we going to explain why he has to go back without us.  And I am staying with you no matter what.:_

Afiona smiled at his stubborn declaration.  _:I didn't think you would'd leave me.  I've noticed Companions place their Chosen above their children.: _

_:It's not that we put our chosen above our children.:_  Daric protested quickly.  _:It's that we know that the others will love and raise our children as their own if something happens to us, but if something happened to me there is no one for you.: _

Afiona sat at her desk and stared out at the bustling people.  _:And you wouldn't have anyone without me.:_  She said softly.  _:It's worth it though.:_

Daric's mind presence colored with pleasure.  _:I'll join you when you go spying, you should be able to last longer then.:_

_:What about Lance?  I want to spend sometime with him if I can.:_  Afiona nibbled on her bottom lip.

_:You are going to be in a trance so it wouldn't be all that polite to invite him.:  _Daric pointed out.

_:You're right.:_  Afiona admitted.  _:I'll see you tonight.  Down by the river?:_

_:Perfect, see you there.:_  Daric said as he let the connection go.

~ * ~

Afiona opened her eyes and stretched slowly Daric raised his head and stared up at the starry sky.  He was currently acting as her backrest.  Scratching his neck she sat up.  _:That took less time than expected, anything happen?:_

_:No.  It was nice having you here.:_  Daric told her.  _:After this, the war I mean, when we tell everyone you're Chosen, we will be able to spend more time together like this.:_

_:After the war we'll have more time for pretty much anything we wish.  I want to go to the Mavelan lands one last time.  Maybe burn the bloody place to the ground.:_  Afiona shifted so she could rest her arm and chin on his back.  _:Banish a couple ghosts.:_

Daric snorted.  _:True ghosts or just memories?:_

_:Memories.:_  Afiona clarified.  _:I used to think it was a prison.  Now I know that the only prison was my fear.:_

_:Let's not ruin a beautiful night by dwelling on the past.:_  Daric suggested.  _:I have it on good authority your new wounded won't arrive until tomorrow afternoon and that other Healer not until the day after.  Why don't you get on and we steal a few candlemarks to pretend there is no one else in the world to worry about?:_  Daric suggested.

Afiona had removed her robe earlier to enjoy the cooler night air so she had no betraying greens on, just a light dress that was several inches too short already.  Daric gracefully stood and allowed Afiona to swinging onto his back before he cantered away from the camp and into the darkness.

Afiona wove her fingers into his mane and closed her eyes, savoring the rare chance to run together.  She could Hear the nocturnal animals going about their business.  It was rare she actually stopped to listen to animals now that she knew how to shield them out.

Daric's powerful feet pounded on the earth as they forgot the worries of the recent days and just reveled in the bond of Companion and Chosen.

Afiona nearly shrieked when another Companion fell into to step beside them.  Reluctantly, Daric slowed and Afiona turned to the other pair.

"Beautiful night for a ride."  Lance observed stiffly.

Afiona blushed and stroked Daric's neck.  "It is."

"Why didn't you tell me?"  He demanded.

Afiona looked away.  "Tell you what?"

"That you were Chosen."  Lance bit out.

Afiona didn't need to see his face to know he felt betrayed.  "I haven't told anybody.  Except Tashir."

"Why not?"  Lance demanded.

"Because I wouldn't be here if I had."  Afiona snapped.  "If I told anyone I would have been put on the rolls as a Heraldic Trainee and at this moment I would be back in Haven studying history or something while everyone else was down here doing what they could to keep us from being run over by Karse.  As a Healer I am down here doing what I can to help.  Daric and I decided that until the war was over I would remain a Healer.  He even held off on Choosing me until I resigned from the Healers."

"So, you were Chosen before I even left."  Lance said in disbelief.

Afiona winced at the hurt in his voice.  "I didn't tell anyone, except Tashir."

"We spoke almost every night there for a while.  Why didn't you tell me then?"  Lance asked.

"Because some things I didn't want to say while you were staring at the ceiling."  Afiona snapped.  "You couldn't even see me!"

"And that bothered you?"  Lance asked.

"Of course it did.  I could see you, even touch you.  It felt unbalanced."  Afiona worried her bottom lip.

"Well, I'm here now."  He pointed out bitterly.  "Anything else you need to say?  Like you have a lover or something?" 

Afiona slid off Daric and walked over to Lance.  He watched her in confusion until she grabbed his tunic and hauled him to the ground.

"If you two don't mind…"  She said meaningfully and both Companions melted into the darkness.

Lance got to his feet and brushed himself off.  "What was that for?"

"Because I don't like audiences."  Afiona said as she turned back to him.  "Have a seat."  She gestured to a spot under a tree.

Lance obediently sat with his back against the rough bark with his legs stretched out and waited for her to take a seat beside him.  Instead she sat on his thighs, her face inches from his.

"I missed you."  She said softly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"  Lance asked again.

"It sounds stupid, but because it was special."  Afiona admitted.  "When I wanted to tell you, you were gone.  Don't get me wrong; I loved talking to you like that.  But some things I just felt should be said face to face."  She brushed a lock of hair off his forehead.  "Like I love you."

Lance stared at her.  "Pardon?"

Afiona sat back.  "I love you."

"You do?"  Lance said in disbelief.  "Carmia said you would never be able to trust anyone enough to love them."

"She's wrong."  Afiona informed him.  "I trust you completely."

"Really?  At best I was hoping for enough to let me in your life from time to time."  Lance admitted as a grin spread across his face and his shoulders relaxed.

Afiona settled against his chest with her head on his shoulder.  She smiled slightly to herself.

Sometimes Empathy was a wonderful thing.  She showed him she meant every word. 

Lance gasped, his eyes wide and his arms tightened around her.  "That's you?"

Afiona nodded.

"I love you, too."  He told her.

"I know."  Afiona grinned and sat back.

"Of course you do."  Lance said in good humor.  "Where do you think the Companions are?"

"Just out of sight," Afiona glanced over her shoulder.  "And still watching, of course."

"Let's go."  He said as he helped her stand.

"Go where?"  Afiona asked curiously.

"Your cabin."  Lance said bluntly as the Companions trotted out of the shadows.  He picked her up around her waist and set her on Carmia's back then swung up behind her.  "And this time I'm locking the door behind us."

_:I'll go see to Nico.:_  Daric said as he cantered towards the herd of Companions.

As they dismounted in front of her cabin Afiona sensed someone within.

"Just a moment."  She said and hurried inside.  Someone snatched her arm and she felt someone hold a blade to her throat.  "If you slit my throat I can't heal you."  She said to the darkened interior."

The blade fell away and he attacker sank against the wall beside the door, still in the shadows.

"What's going on?"  Lance demanded.

Afiona lit the small lantern.  "I'll talk to you later, I promise."  She said as she closed the door in his face.

Turning to the intruder she found a Karsite watching her warily.  "Relax, I have everything here I need."  She said.  "Now sit before you fall down."

He reluctantly sat on the ground with his back against the wall.  "A woman?"

Afiona shrugged.  "Hey, we all have our faults.  Now hold still." 

"You aren't going to ask me anything?"  He said in confusion.

Afiona used a small knife to cut his shirt away from his shoulder to reveal an arrow wound.  "No.  I assume you were told to come to me if you were injured."

He nodded.

"Then that's enough."  She said calmly.  "That's quite a mess you have there."  She commented as she opened the healing kit.  "You're going to be staying put for a couple days."

"I have to go before they realize I'm missing."  He hissed as she held the edges of the wound together.

"Since they shot at you it probably isn't a good idea to go back."  Afiona said, not looking away from her work.

"How do you know it is not one of your arrows that did the damage?"  He asked.

Afiona raised an eyebrow at his phrasing.  "Because our arrows have leaf shaped tips to make for easier removal.  Only a barbed head would cause this much damage.  I'm sure we can find a suitable excuse for why you have been wandering for a few days.  Perhaps you detoured to avoid a Valdemaran patrol or something."

He nodded thoughtfully.  "I am a messenger.  Such would be expected of me."

"There you go, I can tell you where the patrols were so your story will have the ring of truth."  Afiona said as she started probing the area for any infection.  Some dirt and debris had accumulated in the wound but with the light from the lantern and her gifts she located them and removed them.  Finally she carefully stitched the shoulder shut with small even stitches.  "There's a cellar you can hide in until you're ready to head back."  She said.  "I am often disturbed in the night by the Healers but they will not see you."

"How can you be certain?"  He asked warily.

"Simple, I am a Mindhealer as well, I can make people see only what I wish them to see if necessary.  There is a cot and blankets down there, no candles but it's cooler which is better than my bed."  Afiona wiped her hands on a rag.  

He stood carefully.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  Afiona said as she opened the hidden trapdoor.  "No one comes here during the day."

He lowered himself into the dark hole.  "What do you risk all this for?"  He asked.

Afiona was startled by the question.  "Peace.  War is a senseless waste for everyone."

He nodded.  "That is my reason too."

Afiona started to close the door.  "There are dried meat and army biscuits in the corner along some water and a waste bucket."

Any answer was muffled by the heavy door.  She quickly removed all trace of her visitor, her second one since arriving, and changed her gown.  Opening the door she was unsurprised to find Lance gone.  She closed the door behind her and hurried to Lance's tent.  

He was sitting on his cot when she lifted the door flap.

_:Wondered when you'd come.:_  He said as she slipped in.  _:What was that all about?:_

_:Had an injured guest.:_  She answered and sat next to him.  "Sorry."

"No problem."  Lance assured her and kissed her neck.

A snapping sound followed by a groan was all that warned them before the wood frame of the cot buckled beneath them pitching her onto his lap.

Afiona laughed as Lance groaned in frustration.  

"I think someone is out to sabotage me."  He grumbled.

Afiona was still laughing as she got to her feet and offered him her hand.  "Oh, come now.  It's not that bad."

Lance sat up and glared at the bed.  

Afiona laughed again and sat on the empty cot.  "Are you just going to sit there?"  She asked.

Lance levered himself out of the wreckage and started wrestling the sheets off to move them to the other cot.

Afiona shook her head and curled up on her side on the bare cot.  He was as stubborn as a mule, she observed.

Yawning she closed her eyes for a second that stretched until dawn. 

Lance finally got his light blanket free and rescued his pillow when he found Afiona sleeping on the cot.

He debated waking her but the dark shadows under her eyes convinced him otherwise.  

If he didn't know better he'd say Tashir, with his over protective demeanor towards Afiona, was behind it.  

Stretching out on the floor of the tent he tried to sleep.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Afiona was still directing the placement of the wounded when the inspecting Healer arrived.

"You can wait in my office."  Afiona suggested.

He dismounted carefully from his horse and walked towards her with his hands clasped behind his back.  He was vaguely familiar but Afiona just shook it off.  She had at least seen many of the Healers since she had started training.  "I can't see anything if I'm in there, now can I?"  He said stiffly. 

Afiona ignored him.  She wanted all the patients that required a closer eye in one area so she could keep better track of them.  She was also trying to group them together so that they would have friends nearby by grouping them by which company they were with.  She found they were less restless as they recovered when they could trade tall tales with friends.  There were also two Companions that been injured brought here for her care.   Both were already in the barn resting after the trip with their Chosen seeing to their every comfort.

As the last patient was settled she turned to the Senior Healer and was stunned to see the hate in his expression.  "Why don't we get out of the sun?"  She asked.

"I want to see your wards."  He ordered.

Afiona glanced at the lone wagon of medicines.  Shain hurried to it without any prompting.  "Certainly."  She said.

She led the way into the tent and waited for him to say something.  Around them the wounded were chatting rather loudly but there was no alcohol in the tent, Afiona had a strict no party policy that was enforced no matter who possessed the libations.  Healers were settling the new arrivals, bringing them water and trying to see to their comfort.

"Your discipline seems very lax."  He commented aloofly.

Afiona suppressed a grimace.  "I thought this was supposed to be an _unbiased_ inspection."

He scowled at her.

"As you can see, I have encouraged a more familiar setting both among the patients and the Healers and I find that both groups have profited from it."  Afiona said stiffly.  "The patients especially have done noticeably better.  We have board games and cards available, it was a suggestion from Healer Shain, and it takes the edge off the boredom for the patients.  Many actually make pieces for Hounds and Hinds and other games by whittling during the night hours.  I keep at least one empath on duty at all times and they are available to any of the patients or the soldiers stationed here, which the commanding officers have commented favorably on."

She glanced back and saw he was glowering, it was obvious he did not approve of something, but there was nothing he could actually ridicule.  "My Healers have all proven themselves capable in crisis many times over when the over flow wounded arrive.  We have lost patients, this is war after all, but none needlessly."

"And who are you to judge that?"  He demanded.

Afiona stopped and faced him.  "If you wish you can review our records which are complete and up to date."  She turned around again and continued to walk.  "We keep those who require the closest attention together in the middle.  Since they are central and not at the far end of the tent my Healers can respond to them quicker no matter where they are."

"I understand you live apart from the others."  He said.

"Yes, I am still the primary Healer for the Companions and the most familiar with their needs and weaknesses.  I have three Healers assigned to them as well who are learning."  Afiona pointed out.  "My Healers know they need only talk to any of the Heralds here and I will come immediately."

"To a Herald?"  He repeated dubiously.

"Yes, they can speak to their Companions who can then pass the message to me."  Afiona explained.

"So, you wake up Heralds to relay your messages just so you can sleep in a comfortable cottage."  He said derisively.

"I'd hardly call it comfortable.  It's near the barn which is why it was given to me and also no tent is large enough to accommodate my son."  Afiona explained as she started to wonder just how unbiased this inspection was going to be.

"Your son, you brought your son to the front."  He said, obviously disgusted with her.

"I didn't have much choice.  The Companions insisted I bring Nico south so long as it was safe.  And in case you're wondering, Nico is a Companion foal I am raising."  Afiona said curtly. 

"Why don't you show me your medical supplies?"  He suggested.  

"Regrettably, we are low."  She said as she turned about and led him to the locked cupboards.  "We've been low priority for supplies since the camp started.  However, we have found ways to cope.  We have a Bard present that is very helpful, Bard Stefen?"

"That perv—"  He started to curse when Afiona spun to face him.

"I have a strict policy in this tent that no one is permitted to bad mouth any of those working here.  If you wish to finish that comment you will suffer the same punishment as the other Healers who have spoken rashly."  She warned.

"Is that a threat?"  He asked as if he hoped it was.

"Hardly, I am simply explaining the rules.  We do not wish to undermine the confidence of our patients by gossiping maliciously."  Afiona informed him.

"You tell him, Mama-Afi."  One of the Healers said as she passed and gave her a wink.  The young woman was the current empath on duty so Afiona knew she wasn't the only one picking up on the man's hostility.

"Now then, if you'll follow me.  I was saying we have Bard Stefen available, we augment our supplies with medicines we make when we can.  We also trade the medicines we make with the other camps for the medicines they can spare."  Afiona unlocked the cabinets to reveal rows of bottles, all clearly labeled.  "We are very low on sedatives but we've found that a Mindhealer can perform the same function faster and with less risk to the patient."

"You have a Mindhealer here?"  He said in surprise.

"Yes, myself."  Afiona closed the cabinet and locked it again.

"I would like a key to your cabinet."  He said imperiously.

"No."  Afiona said firmly.  "Some patients have arrived with unhealthy dependencies on painkillers, which is why these cabinets are locked.  Each shift supervisor has a key and fills out the sheet for which patient received which medication at what time from which Healer so we can keep track.  If you require access you can come to me."  

He glared at her again but she was swiftly reaching the point of not caring.

"Now, if you are ready, we can adjourn to my office where I have detailed notes on all the patients ready for you."  She said as she strode from the tent.  She heard a few snickers from a patient as she passed.  

"Even better than when she tore the strip off that Herald who was trying to sneak back to the front."  He commented to a friend. 

Afiona hurried to her office and collected the thick leather folder.  "This is a listing of all patients and is current as of yesterday.  The supervisors bring me the updates reports at the end of their shift so I can have them all in a central location."

He reluctantly accepted the folder.

"By the way, I am Healer Afiona."  She said in belated introduction.

"Don't you mean Mavelan?"  He asked with a sneer.

"Actually, no, I'm a bastard so I have no last name."  Afiona corrected him.  "You should see to your horse before he wanders off." 

She stalked past him and back into the healing tent.  

Shain quickly caught up with her and redirected her to the Karsite wagon.  "You won't believe what we have."  He said almost bouncing in excitement.

Afiona let him lead her around the wagon to see the haul and found many familiar medicines, as she expected from watching the Karsites.  All were labeled in Karsite but many names were similar enough for Shain to see what they had.  There was a small bag in the corner with what appeared to be clothing spilling out.  She remembered that for later.

"Oh my…"  Afiona said at the sheer amount in the wagon.  "This is more than we can keep in good conscience."

"I know."  Shain said excitedly.  "We should test to make certain these are not poisoned and meant to fall in to our hands before we use them but if they're good we should relabel the stuff we use and send some to the others.  One of the Healers on my shift is half Karsite and speaks it fluently.  Her family fled here after the Sunpriests slaughtered the royal family.  She can organize the proper labeling, she has been a little drained lately because she's my best at knitting bones quickly."  

"Don't over use her."  Afiona reminded him.  "Definitely test to be certain there is no poison."

Shain pulled one straw stuffed crate towards them and pulled out a bottle of what looked like argonel.  "It _feels_ right.  You know what I mean?"  He asked.

"I know."  Afiona lifted a bottle herself and stared at the bitter liquid.  "A lot of Karsites are suffering because we have these."

"I don't have much sympathy for them."  Shain said harshly.  "They found another Healer, dead."  

Afiona nodded.  "They are using our own natures against us.  They know we can't bear to see someone suffer.  And what can we do but cooperate?"

Shain leaned to the side.  "That investigator finally left your tent."  He said.

"Inspector."  Afiona corrected.  "I know.  He is trying to find some reason to remove me from my position.  I'm going to have to spend candlemarks straightening my desk after this."

Shain snorted.  "What kind of healer could do that when you are obviously doing so much good?"  He asked.

"Even Healers are human, Shain, and it sounds to me like he has a thing against my family."  Afiona watched him gather his horse and stalk away.  "Don't really blame him, they were blood path mages for the most part.  Good riddance if you ask me."

"I'll talk to the others."  Shain told her.  

"And do me a favor, would you, find out his name for me.  Introductions were incomplete."  She said.  "I want to go check on the Heralds, I heard they might be getting anxious just lying about."

"An anxious Herald is never a good sign.  Means there is something they need to be doing."  Shain observed.

"How true.  Remember to get some sleep today."  Afiona reminded him and headed toward the tent again.

~ * ~

"Sleeping already?"  Lance asked as he shook her shoulder.

Afiona opened her eyes and smiled to see him.  "Just resting a bit.  Thanks for letting me sleep last night."

"What's a few cold baths for the woman I love?"  He asked teasingly.

Afiona laughed and sat up, tucking her legs underneath her.  "I missed you today.  Had to deal with an officious bigot."

"I heard.  Apparently he tried talking to all the Commanding officers, seeing if he could find fault with you but they all swore you were the best thing that happened to this camp."  Lance informed her.

"Nice try."  Afiona shook her head.  "I know they wouldn't say that."

"They did."  Lance insisted.  "Every one of them.  Apparently word got out he is out to get you, and they don't like someone after one of their own."

Afiona frowned thoughtfully.  "That's nice of them."

Lance stood and offered her a hand up.  "Nico wants to go for a sunset swim, I told him I'd convince Mama-Afi to take a few minutes and join us."

Afiona sighed.  "Actually…"

"No excuses."  Lance protested.

"Very well.  I'll join you two in a few minutes.  I have some things to see to first."  Afiona capitulated.

"Wonderful."  He stooped to kiss her before leaving.

Afiona got up and closed her door before opening the trapdoor.  Her guest stood quickly.

"Was that a Herald?"  He asked curiously.

"Yes, Herald Lance."  Afiona explained.  "How's your shoulder?"

"Sore, but not as bad as I expected."  He said honestly.

Afiona lit her lantern and descended the stairs.  "Let's take a look."  She suggested.  "I also found some clothing for you to return in."

"How would you find Karsite clothing?"  He asked doubtfully.

"Simple, they were brought to me."  Afiona said.  "They are clean and should be about the right size.  They're yours if you still wish to return."

He looked surprised.  "You still think that I should just walk away?"

"There are no royals left for you to put on the throne, and no one strong enough to wrest control from the priests."  Afiona pointed out.  "They made certain of that by feeding them to the fires."

"You spoke to your Lord Martial?"  He said in surprise.

"Yes.  Or rather he spoke to me.  He felt I should know why you are risking life and limb to go back.  He said you are a royalist and are helping us because it is convenient to your cause.  Personally, I don't care why you are helping."  Afiona probed the wound carefully.  "I am worried about this wound though, it will leave a large ugly scar, not an easy one to miss.  It may make someone suspicious.  If you were here longer I might be able to prevent the scarring but that would keep you away too long."

He actually smiled at her concern.  "Don't worry, I have ways of hiding it.  They haven't fed me to the fires yet."

"What do you mean?"  She asked. 

"I can make others see what I wish."  He explained.  "Like you said you could."

"You're a projective?"  Afiona said in disbelief.  "You're lucky to have escaped this long."

"That's why the men who shot me think they shot a Valdemaran."  He explained.

"Well, that eases some worries."  Afiona said honestly.  "I think you can leave tomorrow night so long as you are careful with that shoulder.  Pretend you wrenched it or something."

"Thank you Healer."  He said gratefully, then gave her a considering look.  "You haven't even asked my name."

"Less to give away if I'm caught."  She pointed out.

"Wise woman."  He said with approval.  "Your husband waits for you." 

"That he does."  Afiona agreed as she set down her lantern.  "If you hear a cat yowl, turn this off.  The light can't be seen outside but it can bee seen through the floor."

"You have someone watching?"  He asked with a slight frown.

"Not exactly, I asked a cat to watch tonight.  She'll call a warning for you."  Afiona started up the steep stairs without waiting for his reaction and lowered the door into place.  She left a small parcel of ointments and the Karsite clothing along with what a Valdemaran farmer would wear so he could get to the border safely.

Collecting her towel and soap she left her little cottage stopping only to call the grey cat, Whiskers, and charge her with guarding the door until she returned.  She was only to call if someone came close, not if they were leaving.

At the river Nico was still playing, chasing Lance around in the water.

She left her robes of a rock and waded out to them.  "Having fun boys?"  She asked lightly.

_:Mama-Afi!  You play too?:_  He splashed up to her.

"I have to wash up first, baby."  Afiona scratched his ears and waded past him to Lance who was still trying to catch his breath.

"He's fast."  Lance observed.

"Makes you long for the days of hide and seek."  She commented.  "Hold this please."  She handed him her soap and ducked under the water.

_:It smells like flowers.:_  Nico informed Lance.

Lance sniffed the soap.  _:Definitely girl soap.:_  He confirmed. 

Afiona emerged from the water and pushed her hair away from her face.

Nico snorted, his version of a laugh, and wiggled his lips at them.  _:Lance want to kiss Mama-Afi.:_

_:Mama-Afi likes Lance kissing her.:_  Afiona pointed out.

Lance leaned forward take up the invitation.

_:Papa!  Lance is kissing Mama-Afi!:_  Nico broadcasted.

"Why do I get the feeling that half the Heralds heard that?"  Lance asked with a sigh.

"Because they probably did."  Afiona echoed his sigh.  Taking the soap from him she used it liberally on her hair.  "Love me, love my colt."

"I do."  Lance assured her.  "He's just a little awkward to have around every so often."

"You missed the worst parts."  Afiona assured him then ducked under to rinse out the soap.

When she came out again Nico was standing practically on top of her. 

_:Play time now?:_  He asked hopefully.

"Just a moment."  Afiona waded out of the river and set her soap on the rock next to her robe then rejoined them.

_:Tag!  You're it!:_  Nico said gleefully as he butted Lance in the arm and splashed away.

Afiona splashed out of Lance's reach.

After a few minutes of play, when she was the one chasing the others, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise and sensed she was being watched.  Turning she saw the Karsite in the shadows of the tree watching them.  She smiled slightly and turned away, she had a feeling that he was going to leave tonight, which was why she left him her lantern and the clothing.

Afiona was actually grateful that he'd left.  She had enough to deal with without worrying about a spy hiding under her floor.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Lance made sure his saddle and saddlebags was secure before turning back to Afiona.

She had another set of saddlebags for him filled with another Companion medical kit. 

"Now, we've added some more diet supplements."  Afiona said.  "If you're confined to army rations Carmia should have one from each bottle each day.  I made them pills and even flavored them with honey so they're easy to take.  Otherwise it's the same as last time."

"Thanks."  Lance took the bags from her.

"I also added some honey-nut bars for you."  Afiona admitted.  "They're for you or Carmia actually; whoever needs an extra boost of energy."

"We'll enjoy them."  Lance assured her.

Afiona quickly wiped a tear away.  "You be careful out there."  She ordered.

"You be careful too."  He ordered back, and then his voice softened.  "Don't push yourself too hard."

Afiona chuckled weakly.  "That's the pot calling the kettle black."  She stepped forward and buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms about his waist.  "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't."  He promised and returned her embrace.  "I've to get on the road."

Afiona nodded and pulled away.  "I wish we had more time."

"So do I, but we will later."  He assured her.  He reluctantly swung into his saddle.

Afiona stepped closer before they could ride out and put her own foot in the stirrup and hoisted herself up so she was level and quickly kissed him, at the same time she showed him what she felt.  "Don't forget me."  She requested as she dropped to the ground again.

 "That's impossible."  He said as he savored the lingering effects of the brief connection.  

Afiona stepped back and let him ride away.  "I'll visit when I can."  She promised.  They both knew it would probably be months before they could even talk to each other again.

Wiping her eyes she headed back to the Healers tent.  Shain was waiting to report the night's happenings, and perhaps the bigot's name.

It was not shaping up to be a good day.  

Shain was sprawled in a chair waiting for her with the leather, patient folder on his lap.  "That was almost ballad worthy."  He teased.

"Which is why I sent Nico to beg a story from Medren and Stef.  I do not need my personal life made into any more songs."  Afiona sat down.  "What happened?"

"Well, first, his name is Seviot.  Second, he keeps calling you, Healer Mavelan.  Made everyone rather uncomfortable."  Shain sat up and handed her the portfolio containing the history of each patient.  "Kept trying to suggest that it was my work here that had made it a success."

"At least he admitted it's a success."  Afiona said as she glanced through what was done during the night.

"I wrote down everything he said so he can't say you are incompetent later."  He pulled a folded piece of paper out of a pocket and handed it to her.  "Now, to the important business.  We had a few problems with the new patients.  One tried sleep walking and ripped his stitches so I got him back to bed, stitched up, and tied down."

"You've got to be kidding, you can't tie patients to their beds."  Afiona said in disbelief as she found the patient's sheet and read it quickly.  "You tied bells to him?"

"Yeah, well, we need to know when he's about to wander off again."  Shain said.  "I was joking about tied down.  We don't want him to react violently."

"Bells on his fingers and bells on his toes, he'll be followed by healers wherever he goes."  Afiona said in forced lightness.  "I think I've been hanging around the bards too much."

"One of the other new arrivals, a Herald, is going to need to talk to you today.  He nearly broke Elsi's neck."  Shain said.  "Thought she was a Karsite attacking him when she was pulling his sheet up."

"Hair trigger then.  Be glad he wasn't a firestarter.  Make sure everyone knows not to disturb him and have whatever Empath is on duty keep an eye on him.  I'll talk to him before lunch."  Afiona made a note on her personal schedule.  "What about the young man with the burns on his face?"

"The one who got drunk and fell in the fire?"  Shain asked with little sympathy.

"That's the one."  Afiona smiled slightly.

"Slept through the night.  They drugged him well for transport so he hasn't even awakened yet.  But he does mutter in his sleep.  He's amusing his bunkmates at least.  Keeps telling some dream girl that he does love her."  Shain chuckled slightly.  "He should wake up early this morning, that's when the drugs should wear off.  He might be one of those ones who craves drugs, I sensed a craving in him earlier, so I made a note in the cabinet that he should get the numbing salve or painblocks before we administer drugs."

"Sounds good."  Afiona nodded and closed the portfolio.  "If only all nights were so uneventful."

"I am going to go play dead."  Shain said as he stood up.  "Just as soon as I fill the void."  He patted his stomach.

Afiona shook her head.  "I swear, that void includes both legs and an arm." 

"Hey, you have me pulling twelve candlemark shifts."  Shain pointed out.  "I have to replace my 'expended energy' somehow."

"You just want to flirt with the cook's helper."  Afiona corrected.  "The one with the big blue eyes and blond curls."

"What can I say?"  Shain said with a shrug.  "Being your right hand man gives me a certain status she seems to find appealing."

"She asked me to ask you to stop describing wounds and injuries."  Afiona said in a teasing tone.  "You ruined her appetite."

"But they told me battle wounds always impressed girls."  He said in mock alarm.

"Out."  Afiona laughed.

"That's better."  He said with an approving nod.  "Don't let Seviot think he's getting to you."

Afiona tucked the patient lists away and studied her schedule.  

_:Task__ one, rout the walking corpse.:_  Daric suggested. 

Afiona laughed.  _:Walking__ corpse?  He is not all that cadaverous looking.:_

_:If__ he keeps bad mouthing you like this he will be a corpse.:_  Daric grumbled.

_:Bardaric__!:  _Afiona exclaimed.

_:I__ am not going to just stand by and listen to him run you down.:_  Daric said hotly.

_:Daric__, you can't go threatening all the Healers who think I'm bad news.:_  Afiona reminded him.

_:Why__ not?  A well rounded individual should have hobbies.:_  Daric pointed out causing Afiona to start laughing again. 

_:Have__ you and Shain been plotting to make me laugh?:_  She asked.

_:No__.  But I think we have the same goal.  If you look tired and sad and the Corpse is going to think he's winning and try harder.:_  Daric pointed out.

Afiona folded her schedule and tucked it in her pocket.  _:I'll__ make certain he doesn't think he's getting to me then.:_

"Excuse m-m-me, Afiona?" Tika poked her head in the door.

"Tika, is anything wrong?"  Afiona asked, gesturing for her to take a seat.  "Your stutter is improving."

"You think s-so?"  Tika said hopefully.

"Don't you?  Is something wrong?"  Afiona asked.

"It's Healer S-S-Seviot."  She said as she sat down across from Afiona.  "H-h-he was m-my t-teacher."

Afiona nodded.  "Relax.  I'm sure he can find no fault with your work."

"It's not th-that."  Tika stopped and took a deep breath and closed her eyes and started speaking more slowly.  "He told me that you were a branch of a poisonous tree before I came here.  That you were a disgrace to your gifts."  Opening her eyes again she nervously met Afiona's gaze.  "He made you sound evil."

Afiona didn't frown.  "See you said all that without a single stutter."  She said.

"But what about what he said?"  Tika said worriedly.

"Well, you know me.  Am I evil incarnate?"  Afiona asked.

Tika shook her head. 

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you.  I have to send Nico back to Haven for safety reasons, I want you to go with him."  Afiona said, watching Tika carefully.  "And I want you to take over as the Companion Healer there until I return."

"But…"  Tika looked worried.

"If they retreat, we don't pull back and I don't think you can take being on the front.  But I do think you will make an excellent Healer for the Companions."  Afiona explained.  "This isn't an insult."

"I'll do it."  Tika said, obviously eager to work with the magnificent creatures. It was also clear that Afiona's worry that she might think it was an insult was unfounded; the girl was relieved and thrilled. 

"Excellent.  You'll be under Healer Geina's supervision.  She's a good woman and a knowledgeable Healer."  Afiona dug around on her desk until she located the letter she wrote to Geina detailing the reasons for the transfer and praising Tika's skills and she handed it to Tika.  "There, give that to Geina when you get there.  Now I have to start my day and you should get breakfast."

Tika stood quickly.  "He's wrong.  You're a g-good healer and a gr-gr-great person."

Afiona flushed pink.  "Thank you."

"We'll show him what a g-g-good c-camp is."  Tika said with fervor that surprised Afiona.

"That we will."  Afiona agreed.

~ * ~

Afiona counted silently backwards from one hundred, ignoring Seviot who was waiting impatiently to speak with her.   

He seemed to show up whenever it was inconvenient, like when she was in the middle of a Healing session.  In this case she was talking to the Herald who had nearly hurt one of her healers.

"Healer Mavelan."  Seviot said for the third time.

Afiona sighed and turned to one of the largest of her Healers, he towered over Seviot by nearly a foot.  "Toldin, please escort him from the tent."  She said calmly.  "And if he reenters have him brought up on charges."

"You can't do that!"  Seviot protested as the normally gentle Toldin took him by the arm and half dragged him out of the tent.

"Can you do that?"  The Herald asked.

"Yes, he was only supposed to inspect us."  Afiona said.  "Since he is interfering to the detriment of others, I can ban him from the tent."

He smiled wryly.  "He's going to make trouble for you."

"Nothing I can't handle."  She assured him.  "Try to relax, when you can walk with a crutch or two then I'll move you over to the Herald's camp."

"Thanks for listening."  He said sincerely.  "It's not often a Healer understands."

"I am not your ordinary Healer."  Afiona pointed out.  "Is your leg bothering you much?"

"No, not now."  He grimaced when he looked down at his right leg, it had been badly broken when a horse collapsed against him and his Companion.  "It's a miserable sight though."

Afiona pulled back the sheet and studied the ragged wound where the bone had pierced the skin.  "It's actually healing quite nicely.  You might have a limp for a while but even that will disappear in time.  Your Companion is worrying himself sick over your state of mind rather than your state of body.  Talk to him about these nightmares, perhaps he can help."

"How?"  The Herald asked, not questioning why this particular Healer was so understanding.

"He knows you better than you know yourself.  Perhaps he has some insights than can help ease the grip of your nightmares."  Afiona suggested.  "I'll have a book and lantern brought to you later, might help you get back to sleep."

"I'd appreciate that."  He said as she stood.

Afiona found Seviot fuming outside, two of the soldiers assigned to help the Healers standing between him and the doorway.

"Do that again and I will have you cleaning the cavalry's pens with your bare hands and I have the authority to do it."  Afiona informed him as she tried to hide her anger.

"I am here to investigate this camp and you are preventing me from doing my job."  He bellowed at her.

Afiona crossed her arms over her chest.  She was grateful Nico wasn't here or he'd knock Seviot head over heals.  "You want to get into a yelling match, then by all means, follow me."  She said as led him toward the edge of the camp that butted up against the woods.

"Where do you think you're going?"  He demanded as he followed her.

"I am going where we will not disgrace the Circle by staging a scene for all the gawkers."  Afiona said.  "Even my youngest Healer has more sense than you."  

She finally stopped far enough in the trees that it was difficult to make out the camp.  "Now, you have something to say?  Say it."  She invited.

"You are a disgrace to the robes you wear."  He sneered.

"I've heard that already.  Please, be original if you are going to waste my time."  Afiona requested coolly.

"I know all about your and your family.  I know that nothing good ever came from a Mavelan."  He continued, his face turning red with anger.  "You are a tumor upon this country."

"Is that it?  You have a problem with my parentage?  Last time I checked it was impossible to control who our parents are."  Afiona countered derisively.

His face darkened further.  "I will see you stripped of your powers and your robes."  He threatened.  "I will prove to the entire circle that you are a cold blooded killer who ruthlessly slaughtered her own brother."

Afiona chuckled.  "I'm sorry, but you are going to have a devil of a time convincing anyone of that when hoof prints were found on his face.  Besides, I thought you hated Mavelans and wouldn't the death of one be considered something good."

He sputtered, his hands clenched in fists.

"Finished?  Good.  My turn.  You are no longer welcome in the Healers tents unless accompanied be me.  You are detrimental to my healers and my patients.  The front is retreating again.  They have decided to make their next stand here and we have to prepare for that.  May I suggest you get back on your horse and leave before you fall to friendly fire?"  Afiona said coldly.

"You don't have the right!"  He spluttered.  "As of this moment you are relieved of your responsibilities."

"You can't."  Afiona argued.  "The only ones with that authority are the Lord Martial, the King, the King's Own, and the members of the Healing circle and you fit none of those descriptions.  You are simply a pair of eyes that report back to the Circle and my report on your behavior along with several written complaints from the Commanding Officers and the Senior Herald are already on their way to Haven by Herald with my request for supplies and a list of all supplies we have extras of thanks to the Karsite wagon you tried to have us turn away."

"You wouldn't dare."  He hissed.

"When it comes to the wellbeing of those in my charge you bet your boots I'll dare."  Afiona corrected.  

"I am your superior!"  He bellowed.

"Actually, so long as you are in this camp _I_ am _your_ superior."  Afiona corrected.  She was almost worried about his blood pressure, there was a vein in his forehead that was throbbing like a drum.  

"Wait until the Healer's Council hears about this!"  He said and jabbed a finger in her direction.

"Touch me and you'll never use that hand again."  Afiona threatened just as the finger nearly jabbed her in the chest.  

A low growling caught his attention.  Turning he found Mia's little dog bristling at him with his lips curled back to show many sharp little teeth and Mia and Medren.

"You threatened me in front of witnesses."  He said in triumph.

"Actually, you threatened her first."  Mia corrected.  Her puppy, Harper, gave up growling and launched himself at Seviot's leg.  

Afiona didn't smile at her friends, she was still too angry with both him and herself for letting him draw her down to making threats, but the sight of Seviot dancing around trying to shake the persistent furball was too amusing to stay furious for long.

"You'll have to call him off."  Mia said.  "He hasn't quite mastered 'come' yet."

Afiona knelt and held one hand out to the dog, which released his quarry and ran to her.  "That's quite enough, Harper."  She said as she scooped him up and scratched his ears.  He wiggled and yipped as she scratched his favorite spots before handing him back to Mia.

"That's my wittle warrior."  Mia cooed to the dog.

Medren rolled his eyes.  "Wittle warrior indeed.  He didn't even draw blood."

"Not for lack of trying."  Mia pointed out.  "As for you Healer, may I suggest getting out of my sight before I make life very miserable for you?"

He glanced around at the three unfriendly faces and wisely chose to retreat.

"You can let him go now."  Mia called over her shoulder.

Afiona finally saw Daric being prevented from going after Seviot by Lika, Leshya, and Tashir.  Daric was still snorting in fury when he went to Afiona.

_:Definitely__ a walking corpse.:_  Daric threatened.

"He's rather attached to you."  Medren observed.

Tashir and the Companions followed at a more sedate pace.  "They're good friends, what else do you expect?"

"Friends with a Companion?"  Medren said rather doubtfully.

"She's raising his son so of course he talks to her."  Mia pointed out.  

Tashir swung onto Leshya's back.  "We left Nico alone so we have to get going."  He said.  "Leshya insists he's improving but if we leave him too long we'll have to start the lesson over."

"Thanks again to you both."  Afiona said sincerely.

"Don't mention it; you still have most of the hard work."  Tashir said as they headed towards camp.

"Are you alright?"  Medren demanded.

"Of course, I'm just fine."  Afiona assured him.  "I'm angry enough to toss him down the well, but that's it."

"Please don't, that would contaminate the water."  Mia said dryly.  "The river, however, has possibilities." 

Afiona rested one arm across Daric's back.  "But think of the paperwork!"

Medren muttered something under his breath.

"Don't you dare write _another_ song about me!"  Afiona said quickly.  "There are already four floating around this camp between you and Stef."

"What can I say, we are looking for inspiration and you are near at hand."  Medren shrugged.  "Now what rhymes with Healer?"

"Dealer, wheeler, stealer, feeler…"  Mia listed off.

"You are not helping."  Afiona grumbled to Mia.  "Oh, I heard from your Secret Admirer."  She lied.

"Oh?"  The pair said in unison.

"He wants to meet you in that little grove where we took Nico last week."  Afiona fibbed.  "Tonight, after dark and before the moon rises."

"Oh really."  Mia said thoughtfully.  "Then I better get going, things to get done before dark and all."  She swung onto Lika's back without putting down Harper.

Medren waited until Mia was out of earshot.  "I said no such thing."

"No, but you should have."  Afiona pointed out.  "Stop sulking and do something."

"You could have just said that."  Medren complained.

"I've said that for several months now.  You are jealous of yourself and unless you are planning on making this farce into a song there just is no reason to continue it.  Go pick some wildflowers and get a blanket and _do something_."  Afiona urged.  "Don't toy with her like this."

Medren looked thoughtful.  "Actually, we can do this and she still won't know who I am."  He said thoughtfully as he hurried ahead, obviously plotting something.

"Those two are going to drive me to drink."  Afiona sighed.  "And once the moon rises the game will be over anyway."

_:I__ bet he never considered the fact that it's a full moon tonight.:_  Daric observed, his mood lightening.  _:Still__ jealous of her?:_

Afiona smiled as she remembered the last night with Lance.  The poor man was still swearing someone cursed him; she had been up all night with a Companion whose hip was broken and needed to be repaired as quickly as possible to prevent disability.  She had collapsed into bed and didn't even open her eyes until he got up to leave.  "Well, she doesn't have as much of a problem finding a couple candlemarks to string together to spend with her lover."

_:Poor__ Lance.  This was a bad week to show up. Just a week earlier and he wouldn't have been spending so much time wondering when it would be his turn to have a couple minutes with you.:_  Daric chortled.

"And you weren't helping matters any.  Carmia is the grandmother of your son!"  Afiona exclaimed.  "And you live in my head, remember?"

_:That__ sort of thing doesn't matter as much to Companions.:_  Daric assured her.  _:She__ is a beautiful mare looking for some company.:_

Afiona rolled her eyes heavenward.  "At least wait until I'm not working then.  Do you have any idea how distracting that is?"

_:Very__ well, I will wait until you aren't busy.  I hope you'll appreciate my celibacy.:_  Daric agreed.  _:Speaking__ of feeling each others emotions, I do believe that was my anger you were tapping into earlier.:_

Afiona stopped and considered the confrontation there.  "I think you might be right, or at least your anger fed mine and mine fed yours.  We'll have to be more careful of that in the future."

_:Definitely__.:_  Daric agreed.  _:At__ least it's rare for you to get angry.:_

"Do you think I just wedged my foot in my mouth?"  She asked worriedly.

_:Well__, I say he deserves everything you said and more, but he's not going to be any more pleasant after this.:_  Daric said just as worried as her.  _:He's__ already proven he hates you with a passion, he may be willing to take down the other Healers with you.:_

"A Healer wouldn't do that."  Afiona insisted.

_:In__ case you haven't noticed, he's not your ordinary Healer.  Your family did something to that man and I am not sure if I'd call him completely sane now.:_  Daric said.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Nico looked between his father and Mama-Afi with such a forlorn expression it almost broke Afiona's heart. _:I don't want to go!: _

_:Sweetie, you have to.:_ Afiona insisted. _:I have to stay here with Papa and help the hurt people.:_

_:I be good!:_ Nico pleaded.

_:This might have been easier if you had convinced Medren or Stefen to leave too.:_ Daric observed.

"Nico, I know you want to stay, but there are going to be a lot of hurt people here. I know you Feel the ones we have now. It doesn't Feel good, does it?" Afiona said.

_:No.:_ Nico admitted.

"More would just feel worse." Afiona explained. "That's why I want you to go to Haven. I promise I'll come to you as fast as I can and talk to you every night, alright?"

Nico hung his head. _:You don't go to Demon, you come to __me.__:_ He said in surrender.

"I will." Afiona promised.

_:And Papa stay here and keep you safe.:_ Nico insisted.

Afiona looked up at her Companion. "I'll keep him safe too."__

_:And you come home fast.:_ Nico persisted.

"As fast as we can." Afiona agreed.

_:I go.:_ Nico said with a sigh. _:You help the hurt people then come home too.:_

"We will." Afiona scratched his ears. "And you be good."

Nico snorted. _:I'm almost always good.:_

Afiona and Daric exchanged amused glances. "Yes, almost always." Afiona agreed.

_:Cuddle now.:_ Nico declared as he buried his face in Afiona's chest.

Afiona was grateful he no longer tried to sit on her lap to cuddle. Stroking his neck and scratching his ears she tried to comfort him.

_:Good thing he leaves in the morning or he'd probably convince me to change my mind.:_ Afiona said to Daric. _:Maybe we should go too, he's just a baby.:_

_:Afiona, we have a duty to stay here and help where we can.:_ Daric reminded her.

_:Right, bring duty into this.:_ Afiona groused. "Why don't we go find some toys and you can play in my office while I work." She suggested.

Nico raised his head and looked thoughtful for a moment before hurrying to the cottage and collecting his ragged, Companion shaped toy and his blankie before leading the way to the office tent.

_:I'm going to miss him.:_ Afiona said as she blinked back tears. _:They better hurry up and finish this bloody war.:_

Nico had his pack of toys strapped securely to his back and a halter on with his star charm attached and was ready to go. Afiona had braided his mane so it would stay neat and groomed him until he gleamed like a young star.

There were three other Companions heading back with their Chosen who would spend months recovering in Haven to keep an eye on Nico. Tika was as nervous as a cat in a dog kennel but she was insisting she was ready to take on the responsibility of the Companions that were still in Haven. Many of the young Chosen had been sent home if it was safe and those left behind were mostly acting as messengers in the north so there were few Companions to worry about.

"Take care of my baby." Afiona ordered Tika.

Tika smiled indulgently. "Of c-c-course I will."

"He's grazing now so you don't need to worry about bottles but you still have to keep an eye on him and make sure he's not just eating flowers." Afiona continued.

"I know. You t-told me l-last night." Tika reminded her.

"Right." Afiona sighed. "You be good for Tika, alright? And I'll try to tell you a story every night."

Nico bobbed his head in agreement and rubbed his head on her chest. _:Love you always.:_

"Love you always, too." Afiona blinked back tears. "Now get going or you're going to have to run to catch up."

Nico had large crystalline tears running down his cheeks as he obediently followed Tika with his head hanging low.

Afiona buried her face in Daric's neck. _:If they don't end this bloody fighting I am going to just leave, I swear.:_

_:You won't. I know you would never leave where you were needed even if it meant you were in danger.:_ Daric corrected. _:Pull yourself together, here comes the walking corpse.:_

_:Stop calling him that.:_ Afiona said as she raised her head and wiped her eyes.

"How do you propose to do your job if you're way over here?" Seviot demanded.

"Go to hell." Afiona growled. "And stay out of my way."

He stopped in his tracks at the fierce expression on her face.

"If I hear one more word from you I will do something I'll regret tomorrow but enjoy today. Am I clear?" Afiona stalked up to him until she was just inches from him.

He took several steps back before his face hardened. "I will inform the Circle of this."

Daric stepped forward and bared his teeth. _:Let's race to Haven then and see if you can run faster scared than I can __mad.__:_

He blanched at Daric's obvious menace and quickly retreated.

_:We should stop threatening him.:_ Afiona said as she leaned against Daric's shoulder. She could Feel his anger and frustration at the entire situation and wasn't too surprised he had broken the rules to speak to Seviot.

_:You're right, we should make them promises.:_ Daric snorted angrily. _:Everyone else knows you asked Shain to put in an extra candlemark so you could see Nico off. He just had to go and say something. You know, I feel like a little exercise, I'll see to it he's out of your hair for a candlemark at least.:_

_:Daric, you are _not_ going to chase him.:_ Afiona said firmly.

Daric heaved a sigh. _:Very well, what do you propose I do?:_

_:Go see if Mia needs your help getting those rookies ready for battle.:_ Afiona suggested. _:This is just the calm before the storm.: _

"I have relieved her of duty but she refuses to step down!" Seviot complained to the exhausted looking Healer twice Afiona's years.

Afiona stopped next to the new arrival. "You're in the tent." She reminded him calmly.

He looked at her then at the new Healer. "You're her senior!"

The older man sighed and looked to Afiona for an explanation.

"He disturbs my Healers so I banned him from the tent." Afiona explained as she gestured for two soldiers to come drag Seviot from her presence. "I have some tents pitched and ready for you and the others so you can catch a few candlemarks sleep and some food. After we can arrange a schedule for all the Healers."

"Thank you." He said tiredly. "But I want our patients settled first."

Afiona nodded. "I moved those who could be moved from out of the main tent until the tents you brought could be pitched, thankfully it isn't too hot today. We can put the most critical cases in there and get the others in the shade with some water and out of the way of the rest of the army."

He nodded. "I've heard nothing but good from those who have served here under you. I was surprised since this is your first time in charge of a camp."

"I bet they were surprised too." Afiona said wryly. "Shall we get started bedding everyone down so you can get some rest before the next emergency?"

He nodded. "I'm Healer Leander."

"Healer Afiona." She returned the introduction. "Shall we get to work?"

It took over a candlemark to get those in the worst shape tucked in on cots in the tents and the ones who could wait outside under the trees but it was accomplished with minimal chaos. The bulk of the army was still arriving and pitching tents everywhere the land had been cleared for farming, trampling the fields. There was a bit of a slope down that became the new edge of camp, Afiona had never realized even this camp was placed on a high ground

Afiona had ordered all of her Healers to take this eight-candlemark shift so the others could get a well earned and desperately needed rest. After all, they were, for the majority, younger than the Healers arriving and better able to put in a sixteen-candlemark day and still be at their best the next morning.

Afiona collapsed into her chair and rested her forehead on her folded arms careful not to disturb Healer Leander sleeping on the cot next to the table, the closest thing she could manage to a tent of his own.

"Not bad, girl." He said without opening his eyes.

Afiona raised her head. "Oh, I know. They're a good bunch. I'm proud of them."

"Which is why you've fought tooth and nail to keep in control here?" He asked as he sat up.

"No. If the Circle asks me to step aside or if it's for the greater good I would bow out gladly. My problem is with that narrow minded creep who's been harassing my Healers in an attempt to disgrace me." Afiona snapped. "I've tried to chase him out of the camp but my authority only extends to the tents."

Leander cocked an eyebrow. "So, if I asked to be the Senior Healer at this camp you'd step aside?"

"You want it, you can have it." Afiona invited.

"You're welcome to keep it." Leander laughed. "Hate the position myself. I was glad to hear there was already a competent command structure in place here."

"I better explain everything then." Afiona said as she located her portfolio of patients. "One thing I insist on is a written record."

"When you have a hundred wounded being hauled in you don't have time to write down what you did." Leander protested.

"Oh, I know, but I am more worried about the drug dependencies we've been seeing." Afiona explained. "We have Bard Stefen here and when he can he plays in the tents. I've had my Healers studying him and many can do painblocks now."

"Really?" Leander said with obvious interest. "I only have three who can do it."

"They can do it with a minimal waste of energy so when possible we painblock." Afiona handed him the portfolio. "As you can see we make note of who has signs of dependency on the drugs. We keep the drug cabinets locked and only the supervising Healers on shift have the keys. Of course we haven't had floods of wounded so it's worked for us."

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Leander nodded as he read through the lists.

"I have the shifts of Healers staggered so not everyone is exhausted at once. That was Healer Shain's idea, he's my night supervisor." Afiona handed him the previous week's schedule. "In an emergency everyone is expected to pitch in, of course, but I can't just let them work till they drop. We need functional Healers to handle the next day."

"I don't know how long this will last with battles and such." Leander warned.

"Perhaps it would be better if you were in charge." Afiona said worriedly.

"No, no, not necessary. We'll just leave the schedule as a guide line." He said quickly. "How many of your wounded will be back on their feet within a week?"

Afiona considered it for several seconds. "Depends on how badly yours need hands on healing. Most of ours are to the point they can recover nicely on their own. Just a few we have had to worry about and those I want to send to Haven as soon as possible."

"I'm afraid most of mine could use some healing sessions." Leander admitted.

"Hey, Mama-Afi!" Shain hollered and stuck his head in the tent. "Hello sir. Afi, we've got a list for you."

Leander was obviously surprised. "Already?"

"Certainly." Shain flopped down in the chair and handed the pages to Afiona. "Anyone mention she's the best yet? She is. She single handedly took a camp full of rookies that were only here for basic training and made a functioning unit out of them. And those rumors about her being a killer are pure bull. She's the sweetest, gentlest creature alive."

Afiona shook her head. "Aren't you doing it a little thick?"

"Nah." Shain propped his feet up on the desk. "Now since you are busy ironing out the details I got bossy and started the others checking bandages and splints. We also passed out a bunch of games to keep them occupied while the new tents are set up. We do have an even dozen Heralds for you to convince to stay put."

"She can get the Heralds to stay put?" Leander said in disbelief.

"You have to talk to their Companions." Afiona explained. "They'll listen to their Companions."

"Speaking of Companions, the girls over in the barn say they are out of room." Shain informed her.

_:Daric?: _Afiona called.

_:Already on it. If I recall correctly roughly half can be outside so long as they take it easy.:_ Daric answered. _:I'll just make certain they know to not roll or go in the river if they have stitches.:_

_:That'll be great, thanks.:_ Afiona looked to the men. "Taken care of."

"How…" Leander looked confused.

"She has mindspeech so she can talk to the Heralds and have them move the Companions." Shain explained.

Afiona was surprised at his explanation but ignored it. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, have you talked to Nico?" Shain asked.

"Last night I told him a story." Afiona said. "He says he misses everyone."

"We miss him too." Shain said with a fond smile.

"Nico being the Companion colt you raised?" Leander asked.

"Raising." Afiona corrected.

"Raising then." Leander said affably. "Where is he?"

"In Haven." Afiona said sadly. "Now that we're the front it's too dangerous for him here."

"But she still makes time to use mind speech to talk to him every night if only for a few minutes." Shain explained. "Even though she can't really afford the energy it takes."

Afiona glared at him. "That is quite enough out of you."

Shain ignored her. "Why don't I give you the royal tour, from bedskirts to bed pans, and explain the rules while Mama-Afi gets those Heralds settled?"

"That would be good." Leander stood stiffly.

"We've been using a lot of home remedies here." Shain said as he stood as well. "You should try the liniment. Works miracles when you're stiff."

"Do you have some handy?" Leander asked hopefully. "I'm not used to riding."

"That we do." Shain assured him and led the way out of the office.

Afiona sighed and stood as well. Stef slipped in before she could leave.

"Swamped again?" He asked lightly. "Need help?"

"Medren and Mia at it again?" Afiona asked.

"The pair of them is driving me out of my wits." Stef admitted. "They're each trying to thinking up the most saccharine love song for some challenge they have tonight. I lay the blame at your door of course. You had to meddle."

"I could use some help wrestling the hard headed Heralds." Afiona said. "Unless you want to play for a while?"

Stefen held up raw, red fingertips. "I played for the arrival."

"I thought I heard a harp." Afiona said as she caught one hand and examined the damage. "Later I'll see what I can do about these. For now we can go see about those Heralds. Don't over use that gift of yours, the Bardic circle would have my greens if I damaged their Master Bard."

"I'm hardly that important." Stefen protested.

"As if I'll believe that." Afiona said as she led the way outside. "Maybe one of the Heralds will have a heroic tale for you. I think one of the battles recently went our way."

Afiona was checking over the Companions when Leander found her again.

"The boy is right, you don't stop even for supper." He commented.

Afiona put down the hoof she was examining. "I ate."

"When?" He challenged.

Afiona started to say only a candlemark earlier but it was after sunset now so it was much longer than that, or it could have been the day before. "Recently." She said finally.

"No one has seen you near the mess tent since before we arrived." He corrected. "The Companions can wait until tomorrow, we have some questions to ask."

Afiona glanced at her current patient. She snorted and butted her head against Afiona hard enough to send her stumbling a few steps. "Guess I've been told." She said lightly. "What kind of questions?"

"Mostly about how you run things." Leander said as he picked up her bag of healer paraphernalia. "I'm afraid of lot of it will be a matter of teaching old dogs new tricks when we just don't have time."

"I was thinking about that actually." Afiona said as she started towards the Healers tents. "There are just too many of us for us to keep my system, and my original Healers are all young so they can adapt easy enough."

"I noticed you don't have specific healers assigned to patients." Leander said. "Aren't you worried that someone might be lost in the shuffle?"

"My Healers are all either fresh into their greens or have been working on specialties so none have the background to be the sole Healer for many of our patients. The supervisor must check over each patient every shift and I have an empath on duty at all times who is expected to watch for any signs of distress. The empaths have sensed several that took a turn for the worse or slipped into comas by investigating what feel like blank spots. Now that I have more experienced Healers I can arrange teams. Have an veteran overseeing several patients with younger Healers to help share the load of hands on healing."

Leander nodded excitedly. "No sense having the younglings folding bandages when all they need is a little guidance."

"Exactly!" Afiona exclaimed. It was clear Leander approved of her methods, which was a relief after Seviot's constant criticism. "I'm afraid I'll need a list of everyone you brought."

Leander groaned. "More lists? Shain showed me at least a half dozen lists this afternoon."

"More lists." Afiona confirmed. "If we make a leather portfolio for each team that would make more sense than one massive one, wouldn't it?"

"I'm glad it's you and not me who has to keep track of all the papers." Leander said sincerely.

Afiona and Leander were still tossing back and forth ideas on how to arrange the collection of Healers at their disposal when they reached the swamped mess tent to find chaos. Isric, one of Afiona's Healers, was being held back by several other young healers as he shouted insults and was trying his level best to reach a new arrival that was shouting to others. She heard comments about lax discipline and poor examples from the older Healers that were standing back watching.

"Mama-Afi!" One of the young Healers pushed her way to Afiona. "You have to talk to Isric before he does something foolish!"

Afiona quickly became the focus of majority of eyes in the room. Straightening her shoulders almost imperceptibly she strode to Isric, who stopped struggling when he saw her coming.

"What have I said from the first day?" Afiona asked him quietly.

"That if you have a problem with someone deal with it in private." Isric answered dutifully.

"Then why are you trying to get into a fight, of all things, in the mess tent?" Afiona asked.

Isric looked down at the ground and didn't answer.

"They were bad mouthing you." One of the other Healers answered on his behalf. "Isric was just trying to defend you."

"Ah." Afiona turned to the Healer Isric had been trying so hard to reach. "Then you broke the rules first."

An angry murmur swept through the crowd.

"Isric, you get laundry duty, you should know better than to lash out like that. I want you to wash every sheet personally from tent two." Afiona informed the young Healer. It was a dreaded duty due to the hot water and harsh soap. There was a group of civilians that were normally responsible for it but it made a convenient punishment. Turning to the other guilty party she was unsurprised to meet a baleful glare. "I know you were apprised of the rules so you have no excuse. You get all the sheets from tent one."

He opened his mouth to protest.

"Don't argue." A younger healer advised. "She'll make it worse."

"I answer to Leander." He said stiffly.

"Correction, you used to answer to Leander, now you answer to me." Afiona corrected. "Now both of you get to the laundry tents and start scrubbing. And Isric, I want to talk to you tomorrow, alright?"

He nodded and hurried from the tent.

"You I want in my office at dawn." Afiona informed the other Healer as she walked away.

Leander was still standing by the door looking concerned. "Not an auspicious start. "I missed what you said to them."

"I gave them laundry duty and reminded them that if they have a problem to handle it in private." Afiona explained.

"What were they fighting over?" Leander asked.

"Me." Afiona said simply.

Around them everyone was sitting back down. Afiona filled a plate and took a seat closest to the door.

"I suppose we should have expected it." Leander said thoughtfully. "Boys are prone to strutting and posing to catch a lady's eye."

Afiona shook her head. "They weren't trying to catch my eye. Apparently Isric took offense to some comments made about my rather notorious past."

"Oh, you mean that traitor!" Leander said in understanding. "Seviot was going on about that too. I wasn't there so I only heard about it in rumor."

"The rumor is fairly close to the truth." Afiona admitted. "I refused to help him."

"Why?" Leander asked. "You don't strike me as the type to refuse to treat someone. You even treated some Karsites today without so much as blinking."

"He was my brother." Afiona said uncomfortably. "We were both bastards, welcome only as long as we didn't rock the boat too much. Because he had no magic and no gifts whatsoever he was basically considered worthless. It really bothered him that me, a female and younger than him, was considered more valuable because someday I would be a healer."

"So, what did he do?" Leander asked.

Afiona didn't notice the half dozen or so other Healers that had fallen silent to listen.

"He beat me." Afiona said simply. "I was about five the last time. When I woke up the Healer declared me damaged which made me worthless."

Leander frowned fiercely. "I can't believe your parents just sat back and allowed that to happen."

"I never knew my mother, and my father couldn't care less." Afiona shrugged. "Afterwards it was actually better."

"Exactly how did the healer say you were damaged?" Leander asked. "I've seen no signs of any damage to your mind."

"I wouldn't talk." Afiona admitted. "Before I was even completely recovered my father and his family died. Herald Vanyel took out the entire lot of them. I was spared because I was a potential Healer, not a mage. Half the servants fled that night. My brother included."

"Did the Healer?" Leander asked, still frowning. A few years ago she would have been frightened.

"I imagine so, I don't remember him after that." Afiona shrugged. "Eventually I went to live with my cousin, Tashir. I didn't see my brother again until not long before I left there for Haven. He was plotting to kill my cousin and pin it on me. I was injured when he escaped."

"I assumed he was the one who injured you. What did he do?" Leander prodded.

"Stabbed me in the lower back. He escaped while the others stopped to help me but there was still enough evidence for Tashir to make a Judgment against him. Attempted murder, assault, anything he could think of. Then last winter Gelird showed up again."

"And he finally found justice." Leander rested his elbows on the table and stared thoughtfully into space. "Sounds like he was a mad man to me. And a sadistic one at that."

"I did try choking him." Afiona admitted. "He fired a crossbow bolt at me, hit Demon with the crossbow, and I just reacted but it was Daric who finally saved me."

_:You also stabbed his arm, remember?:_ Daric

"Understandable, even a Healer has a right to defend herself." Leander said dismissively. "Have to wonder what he did during those years though."

"Nothing pleasant." Afiona winced at the memories of what she had witnessed.

"Why didn't you explain that to everyone?" Leander asked.

"Why should I? They saw Daric pounding him into the snow." Afiona pointed out. "Besides, what's your first thought about a Healer that has had troubles such as that in the past?"

"You have a point." The older, gray haired woman next to her said making Afiona jump. "They would've worried about your stability until a Mind Healer had a look at you. I don't know why it became such as issue though."

Afiona looked around and noticed for the first time how many were watching her like a specimen and blushed.

"There was probably something feeding them flames." An older man commented.

"My choice to heal animals primarily was not appreciated by the Circle." Afiona said.

"You were healing humans today though." Leander said with some confusion.

"That is a necessity." Afiona explained. "Given a choice I still wouldn't."

Leander shook his head slowly. "How we use our gifts are always our choice but I can see how that would be frustrating to watch; like watching a master painter who only whitewashes walls."

Afiona shrugged. "Healing isn't even my strongest gift." She admitted.

"Oh?" Leander leaned forward. "Please don't say it's Firestarting."

"No, I have mindspeech, farsight, and animal mindspeech. All are stronger then my healing gifts." Afiona explained.

"Odd combination." Leander observed. "It's not unusual for a Healer to have mind speech but Farsight is rare, especially strong Farsight. Who taught you?"

"Mostly I'm self taught." Afiona admitted.

"How long have your gifts been active?" The woman on her right asked.

"As long as I can remember." Afiona said with a shrug. She never really wondered when her gifts manifested; they were always just there.

"Makes sense, traumatic childhoods do tend to make gifts manifest early." The older woman nodded thoughtfully. "They should be glad you don't have a more dangerous gift."

_:Chosen, the Lord Marshall is looking for you.:_ Daric interrupted.

"I have to go." Afiona stood a hurried out the door leaving her plate of food nearly untouched.

Behind her the older Healers waited until she was out of sight before they discussed her tale amongst themselves. A few others leaned forward to hear the conversation.

By the time the next shift start everyone had heard at least part of her story.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Afiona stole a second to glance down at the battlefield before looking back to the boy under her hands. His blood surged against her fingers as she battled to stem the flow. His pale eyes stared sightlessly upwards at what would be a beautiful late summer sky, unaware of her attempts to save him as he slipped out of her grasp.

Releasing her grip she sagged against the cot for a second before straightening. The dull throb of the headache that never left flashed into a blinding pain as she looked down at the blood that oozed sluggishly from the wound now that his heart no longer beat.

Wiping her hair from her eyes she stood and looked around to find another patient waiting for her hands. Washing quickly but thoroughly she moved to their side, this time a young woman Afiona had spoken to not a week earlier about her home in northern Valdemar. The woman's eyes were blessedly closed and she wasn't screaming like so many others. Afiona gently lifted the makeshift bandage someone had pressed to her shoulder and winced at the damage underneath. All that held her arm in place was some muscle.

Afiona gestured one of the other healers over. "Remove her arm and cauterize the wound." She ordered dully. "And see about getting the dead out of here."

The older man nodded and took Afiona's place as Afiona moved on again. The coppery smell of blood made her want to gag and summoned up half forgotten memories. Pushing the thoughts away she knelt next to the next patient, a Herald.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted and batted at Afiona's hands. Her grief grated on Afiona's worn nerves. "He's gone!"

Afiona took a moment to touch her shoulder and offer what sympathy she could. "Lie down."

The woman was sobbing as she collapsed back.

"Mama-Afi?" One of the young Healers knelt next to her. "What do we do about the Heralds who've lost Companions?"

Afiona sat back on her heels. "If they aren't dead already the psychic shock will carry them off soon." She said as she stood. "Let their friends comfort them and try to ease their physical pain."

"We can't just ignore their injuries." He protested.

Afiona wiped away a tear that trickled down her cheek with her blood-blackened sleeve. "Don't argue with me." She said wearily. "Just use your gifts where they will do the most good."

"But we could save her!" He protested.

Afiona grabbed his arm and used her empathy to show him exactly what the Herald was feeling. "We can't."

He staggered back and stared at her for a long second before hurrying away.

Afiona knelt again next to the young Herald. "Look at me." She said softly.

The Herald turned her head, her eyes blood shot and empty. Afiona wasn't certain whether she saw her or just her Companion's dead body.

"I understand." Afiona said softly and placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Afiona." She sobbed brokenly and buried her head in her arms. "He's dead."

Afiona stroked her hair away from her face. "He's not gone, he's waiting for you. You can still wield a sword, go help the others protect Valdemar as long as you can."

The Herald nodded and stood slowly and limped from the tent. Afiona prayed no one stopped the Herald as she moved on.

Around her other Healers moved in grim determination among the wounded she couldn't even fit inside the tents.

Closing her eyes briefly she watched the battle as if she was standing among them.

"Afiona?" Leander touched her arm making her jump. "You're going to drop if you keep this up, just stick to bandaging for a while."

Afiona shook her head and brushed off his hand. "Start moving them into the mess tents and have those who can start ripping up sheets to use to bind splints."

Leander stopped her again, this time forcing her to face him. "You aren't all powerful, you are going to have to stop before you drop."

"The longer you sit here and argue with me the more they are slipping away from us." Afiona pulled herself free and went to the next untended cot.

Daric was in the Companion Barn watching everything and lending her what power he could. She watched through his eyes as well as her own as she tended both the Companions and the humans. In the back of her mind she could feel his concern but she knew he could feel her determination and conviction that if she faltered the ones paying the price wouldn't be her.

Faces blurred together in an endless parade of pain, blood and death as she worked until she realized that the tide of wounded was ebbing and the battle was over for the day at least. She could hear the survivors celebrating their survival of another day or drinking to forget fallen friends. There were never any such celebrations among the Healers. They were too busy trying to save the fallen friends to stop and mourn those they couldn't save.

Afiona stopped and watched her Healers for a moment, trying to spot any sign of weakness. Poor food, little sleep, and constant use of their Gifts were weighing on them all. None had so much as an ounce of fat left and all had dark shadows under their eyes.

"Healer Afiona?" One of the older Healers touched her shoulder hesitantly.

"How many more are coming?" Afiona asked.

"We have to search the battlefield." He said. "We won't know until after that."

"Find Olgi and the other riders while you're at it and make certain their alright." Afiona ordered. "They did well today."

"Well is an understatement." He agreed. "You should be."

Afiona looked around and spotted one of the dogs that hung about the camp and called him over. _:Can you help us?:_ She asked.

The dog wagged his tail and barked. _:Help? I help.:_

_:We need to find those who are alive down there.:_ Afiona pointed to the battlefield and the strewn bodies. _:Can you smell them?:_

He sniffed the air and barked again. _:I will find.:_

"He'll lead you to survivors." Afiona said as she tied the bright yellow scarf she always wore about her waist around the dog's neck so he'd be more visible to his followers. "And take a couple horses. If the Karsites make any move towards you mount up and high tail it out of the way."

The Healer nodded and led the dog away.

Afiona headed for the tents when Leander stopped her again.

"We have it under control." He said firmly. "Get some rest or you'll be no use to anybody."

Afiona sighed tiredly. "I'll check the Companions first."

"Then you'll rest?" He pressed.

"Yes." Afiona promised even though resting was the last thing she wanted to do. Her nightmares were back full force only they weren't just warped childhood memories, now they were merged with the endless wounded and the war. Every time she tried to sleep Daric was forced to wake her to keep her from wandering and wasting her energy.

In the Barn she found her healers performing admirably and only had to correct them in a few places. Unless these Companions lost their Chosen they would recover.

"You look like death." Stef observed as she left the barn.

Afiona shrieked and grabbed the door for support. She had been so absorbed by her thoughts she hadn't noticed him leaning against the doorframe.

"Come on, you need to get some sleep." Stef said as he took her arm and half led, half dragged her to her little cottage.

"Been talking to Leander?" She asked as she shed the bloodied greens and collapsed on her bed.

"No. I don't need to be a Healer to see how hard you're working yourself." Stef placed her chair next to the bed. "I figure you're lucky to get four candlemarks of sleep in a day."

Afiona couldn't protest, he was right. "So what are you going to do?"

Stef grinned crookedly and picked up the lute he had probably placed there earlier. Before Afiona could protest he started a lullaby the sent her tumbling into blessed darkness.

It was dark when she woke up from a blessedly dreamless sleep to hear raised voices.

"One more step and you'll be wearing my lute as a hat." Stefen threatened.

"I am going to speak to her, bard, no matter what you do so you may as well move." Seviot ordered imperiously.

Afiona growled into her pillow and wondered which speech she was about to be subjected to; the 'the real healers are over at the tents while you sit here doing nothing' speech, the 'if you're so tired you should leave and let Healer Leander take over as the Senior Healer for the camp', or his favorite 'you're a disgrace to your greens' speech.

Standing she pulled on a clean but stained pair of greens, she didn't have any that were unstained now, and opened the door. "Don't waste your lute." She advised Stef who was leaning against the door jam.

"It's not my good lute." Stef pointed out earning a slight smile from Afiona.

Afiona shook her head. "He's still not worth it." She stepped around Stef and strode past Seviot towards the barn on her way back to the tents.

"She's right." Stef said and Afiona heard a thump. Spinning about she saw Stef looking innocent and Seviot doubled over.

"Bardic immunity." Stef drawled.

"I can't believe you hit him!" Afiona exclaimed, aghast at Stef's actions.

Stef shrugged. "Someone had to do it. Out of curiosity, do you think idiot and Seviot rhyme?"

Afiona shook her head in disbelief as she resumed her path to the barn. Stef quickly followed.

"You're going to make things worse." Afiona protested.

"Hardly. There aren't many sitting on the fence when it comes to you and most think you are a talented young woman who didn't deserve the rumors that were hurled at her." Stef pointed out. "Did I tell you that I tracked down a source of the worst of the rumors?"

Afiona stopped. "Why did you bother?"

"Hey, it wasn't just me that was curious. But are you aware that our friend Seviot has been the worst of the ones speaking against you? He's had it in for you since before he arrived here. You have several of his students here and all remember him pointing at you as an example of the odd bad Healer. Many of the teachers remember him speaking ill of you as well." Stef explained. "And before you say I shouldn't meddle, that's what bards do, find the heart of the story."

Afiona looked back at Seviot who was leaning against her door jam trying to catch his breath. "You aren't going to make this a song." Afiona said. "It's not romantic or exciting."

"A fair damsel being torment by a human toad? With a little imagination this could become a good ballad." Stef said thoughtfully. "Change the names of course, maybe Fiona and the Idiot. Think the listeners could identify you from that?"

Afiona rolled her eyes. "I have work to do."

"I thought the night shift was still Shain's." Stef commented.

"We all pitch in when we can." Afiona reminded him. "Speaking of pitching in, would you mind singing for the Companions?"

"Why do you Healers think everybody wants to work themselves to death like you?" Stef asked in exasperation.

"Because you offered." Afiona pointed out. "And since there are several Heralds hanging about there you can probably dig up a story or two about 'just' Heralds. I keep the other healers off your back, don't I?"

"For which I am grateful, I'm tired of being studied like a specimen." Stefen groused. "I'll get my gittern and play in the barn I guess. You do remember I'm a master bard, I could be playing for kings."

Afiona laughed at his mock-injured attitude. "Wasn't it you who was saying that an uncritical crowd was better than playing at court? They won't expect you to make small talk or play any court games and you can just lose yourself in your music."

Stef's eyes grew distant and smile tugged at his lips. Afiona had seen him disappear into his music before and how much more relaxed he was afterwards. "See you around later." He promised as he turned off towards his tent and other instruments leaving Afiona to continue her duties alone.

----

Shain sighed and shook his head when he found Afiona with the wounded Heralds, again. As far as he was concerned Afiona was showing more and more Heraldic traits, such as the inability to tell anyone who asked for her help 'no'. She was called to the Lord Marshall at all hours and always came back worse for wear. She worked longer and harder than pretty much anybody else with complete disregard for shifts or any of the rules she laid out for the others, such as regular meals or going to sleep after shifts. She was powerful, astonishingly so, he had seen wounds seal before his eyes, but to keep up such a pace would run her into the ground sooner rather than later.

"Hey, Mama-Afi. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" He asked lightly.

Afiona looked over her shoulder at him. "Playing mother hen again?" She asked just as lightly.

"Someone has to or you'd never stop." Shain pointed out. He held out a hand to help her up. When she accepted it he was startled to find it cool to the touch.

She missed the brief frown on his face as he helped her up and released her hand.

"Why don't you go lie down in the office tent? No one else is there at the moment and you're close if we need you." Shain suggested.

Afiona looked around. Almost everyone was sleeping, including the Herald she was just tending. "Why does everyone think I need to lie down?"

"Because you look tired." Shain pointed out.

"That, boy-healer, is stress." Afiona corrected him. "I just woke up actually."

"Then I have the previous shifts list of necessary supplies along with my own, and I have a stack of 'return to Haven' forms for you to sign." Shain started towards her office tent. There she found the promised stack of forms along with more lists.

"What are these?" Afiona asked as she picked up a list of names that she didn't recognize.

"Those are the dead. You have to tell the various officers so they can write their families and explain why their wonderful child is dead." Shain explained grimly. "I know they used to be able to keep track on their own, but now there are so many we have to make yet another list."

Afiona flopped down in her chair and studied the lists. "I don't envy them that chore."

"Who in their right mind would?" Shain asked as he sat on the other chair and propped his feet up on the corner of the desk. "I envy them sometimes. They don't stay behind and wait for the leftovers of war, they go and actually make a difference. Sometimes I actually consider taking up my sword again and joining them."

"You can fight?" Afiona asked in surprise.

"My father had all of us taught." Shain explained. "Including my two sisters. I kept it up because it's good exercise. I'm not that bad actually."

"The way I see it, if you were on the battlefield you wouldn't be able to Heal here." Afiona pointed out. "So is taking the lives of Karsites more important to you than saving the lives of your fellow Valdemarans?"

"That's a low blow, Mama-Afi." Shain complained. "You know exactly how a Healer will answer, saving lives is always more important."

Afiona started sorting her desk into piles of 'do now', 'do as soon as possible' and 'probably never get done'. "You shouldn't think of them as the leftovers of war."

"How about fertilizer then? Their blood is going to feed that field for years to come." Shain picked up one of her the lists from the 'probably never get done' pile. "All because Karse thinks we're a bunch of demon loving mages when we haven't had a mage for half a decade."

"From what I understand the Prophet needs an outside enemy to rally the people and solidify his position." Afiona said. "To distract them from the Fires and hangings."

"What exactly is he the prophet of? Death and disaster?" Shain asked acidly.

Afiona propped her own feet on the desk and leaned back. "You don't need to be a prophet to do that. I think he's just a power hungry, charismatic man who is now in charge of all of Karse's mages."

"I thought they killed all the mages." Shain said in confusion.

"All, except those in the priesthood. Thankfully there aren't many and they haven't been able to stay inside our borders long enough to make trouble. Even when we retreat they can't enter the occupied land without going mad." Afiona had seen enough of them run screaming back across the border to know it wasn't a fluke. "They think it's because the land is tainted by us 'demon worshippers'."

"Remind me to thank the demons then." Shain chuckled but stopped abruptly when he saw she wasn't amused. "Oh, come on, it's not like they're real."

"Trust me. They are." Afiona insisted. "And the Karsites are using them. Not all are big drooling monsters, some you can't even see but you can feel. Thankfully those have been kept on their side of the border."

"How do you know?" Shain asked.

"I've felt them before. I was young but it's not something you'll ever forget." Afiona said with a slight shudder.

"Right, your family was mostly mages." Shain said thoughtfully. "Too bad you aren't. We could really use a mage here."

"No, we don't." Afiona corrected him. "We just have to learn to use what we have. Farseers are nearly impossible to detect, unlike scrying. Fetchers can reach through most mage born shields."

"Then why can't they do anything now?" Shain challenged.

"They probably have someone with powerful mind gifts shielding us out." Afiona knew for a fact they did, she was having a demon of a time trying to get a lock on that particular priest because he was so well shielded. Either that or he felt nothing. She had heard of people who had no emotions, they were considered incredibly dangerous because they were completely unpredictable.

"So even if we did know how to use them properly they'd still be useless." Shain complained. "All the other side needs is one strong person to shield them out."

"Gifts that strong in that number are _incredibly_ rare. We're talking about someone with Herald Vanyel's strength and variety of Gifts and he was unmatched by anyone in the records. They have to be young or they would have faced him before this." Afiona immediately knew she said too much and bit her lip to keep from cursing aloud.

Shain dropped his feet of the desk and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "One person whose probably come into his powers since Vanyel's death? How hard is he to find and stop?"

"Very hard obviously." Afiona picked up the lists of the dead. "I have to get going."

Shain stood. "So do I. I'll talk to you again before I find a corner to sleep in."

"Don't overwork." Afiona reminded him as he left the tent.

"Take your own advice." Shain called back over his shoulder.

Afiona made certain she had all the necessary lists, both of the wounded and the dead so the officers could figure out who was missing, before she left the tent and hurried down the long rows of tents to locate the officers.

----

Afiona gasped softly as she came back to herself and opened her eyes to find the Lord Marshall was hovering over her eagerly.

"Well?"

"They are going to try to slip men up through the forest to get at us from behind." Afiona said grimly. She had finally learned what all those little marks on the maps meant, which made her task easier to do, but harder to bear. Now it wasn't just Heralds who were at higher risk because of what she saw, there were also Valdemaran and Karsite soldiers.

The pronouncement was met with a flurry of accusations over who had chosen the spot and demands of what was to be done.

Jisa alone noticed Afiona stand and walk slowly from the tent and quickly followed.

"Don't you want to know what they're going to plan?" Jisa asked.

"No, not really." Afiona said as she walked back towards the woods. "If I listen to one more casualty estimate I will shove the tent poles down their throats."

Jisa chuckled and fell into step next to her. "I know what you mean."

Afiona stopped and turned to face her. "Do me a favor, go back to them and leave me alone."

Jisa stepped back in surprise at Afiona's request. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Afiona bit off as she started walking again. This time Jisa didn't follow.

At the edge of the forest she stopped and looked back at the camp. These weren't the tents of the soldiers but those of civilians. She leaned back against a tree and glared down at the camp and beyond at the Karsite camp.

She hadn't even had a chance to go to Lance since he left, instead she spent what energy she could spare comforting Nico.

_:You have me to talk to.:_ Daric reminded her.

Afiona smiled as she closed her eyes and tilted her head back against the tree. _:Where are you?:_

_:Behind you actually.:_ Daric snorted making her jump.

Turning she found him standing just a few feet behind her. _:Something as big as you should not be so quiet.:_ She grumbled.

_:I'll try to be louder in the future.:_ Daric said with half hearted amusement. _:Are you alright?:_

_:You live in my head, what do you think?:_ Afiona snapped.

_:I think you're in a bad mood.:_ Daric lowered his head so she could scratch his ears. _:Perfectly understandable of course.:_

_:Mia was brought in today.:_ Afiona said as she found the itchy spot behind one of his ears. _:An arrow.:_

_:I heard. How's she doing?:_ Daric asked.

_:She'll survive but she's not a good patient. Constantly complaining or trying to sneak out. Shain tied a bell on her cot so we'd hear it when she moved. Just a couple inches up and it would have been her lung and she would have drowned in her own blood before we could have reached her.:_ Afiona rested her cheek on his neck. _:Olgi was injured when they shot her horse out from under her. Have you ever tried to keep a healer in bed when there are injured she could be tending? It's not easy.:_

_:About as easy as keeping a Herald in a bed I suppose.:_ Daric commented. _:What about your spying?:_

_:Lately I've been watching the officer's tents, reading their maps and reporting what I see which is a lot better than what I could be watching. But I still haven't found whoever it is that's blocking the others. You'd think he'd be with the officers and commanders.:_ Afiona griped.

_:Maybe he's like you and has what seems to be an alternate reason to be there.:_ Daric suggested.

_:Well, he'd have to be a priest and they are rather easy to spot by their robes if not their religious zealotry.:_ Afiona pointed out.

_:Unless he joined them simply to save his own skin.:_ Daric pointed out. _:It's the only safe place for the gifted over there.:_

_:But he'd still be wearing robes and I should be able to sense the drain on him. But Mages can draw on outside power, like my father drew on the rest of the family, so if he's a mage I won't sense it unless he raises power using blood magic.:_ Afiona groaned. _:My head hurts now.:_

_:So does mine.:_ Daric sighed. _:I'm sure you'll figure it out who they are eventually. For now focus on what you can do.:_

Afiona stared down at the tents flying the bright green pennants. _:Like heal? Not that it seems to be doing any good.:_

_:Like go talk to Nico. I want to know what mischief he's been up to.:_ Daric suggested.

Afiona smiled slightly as she settled comfortably and fell into another trance.

_:Mama-Afi!:_ Nico greeted her enthusiastically.

_:Hey sweetie, are you being good?:_ Afiona asked.

_:Almost.:_ Nico assured her making her laugh. _:I play with Lista and blankie. And I got stories today.:_

_:What story?:_ She prodded.

Nico happily regaled her with every minute detail of his day. Afiona's heart twisted as she listened, wishing she were there to actually see everything. She was careful not to let Nico sense her emotions or he'd probably come running back to her.

Nico finally reached the end of his recount with _:...And then you came and talked to me.:_

_:Sounds like a full day.:_ Afiona commented. _:I'm glad you're having fun.:_

_:Are you helping the hurted people?:_ Nico asked.

_:Yes.: _Afiona answered, hoping he wouldn't decide to come down and help.

_:That's good.:_ Nico said with a mental sigh. _:Come home soon.:_

_:I'll try, baby.:_ Afiona promised. _:I have to go now. And you need to get back to sleep.:_

_:Love you.: _ Nico said sad that the conversation was ending.

_:I love you, too, sweetling.:_ Afiona answered as she dropped the connection and opened her eyes.

The eastern horizon was starting to color with the promise of another warm day.

"Blast it." Afiona scrambled to her feet. _:We have to get out of here.:_

_:What? Why?: _Daric asked in confusion.

_:Because they were going to attack at dawn.:_ Afiona explained as she jogged away from the trees and towards the tents.

_:Ah, you need to get the Healers ready, a pep speech and all that.:_ Daric said as he trotted after her.

_:No, they are going to attack back here this morning.:_ Afiona explained.

_:Oh.:_ Daric paused and looked back at the shadow shrouded trees. _:Then what on earth were you thinking sitting back here!:_

_:I was thinking this time they are attacking civilians.:_ Afiona snapped as she stopped and looked back. _:Do you see them?:_

Around her people were trickling out of their tents. Many had probably already left to tend their duties but many more were probably still abed, sleeping until their shift came.

_:Did they move any soldiers up here?:_ Afiona demanded of Daric.

_:No, there is no way they could do it unseen. The area is too open. They're down the hill a ways or in the trees themselves.:_ Daric said after a brief hesitation where he consulted the other Companions.

_:Which means they didn't remove the civilians or else they'd be seen.:_ Afiona grumbled.

Daric consulted the others again. _:They plan on intercepting them before they get close enough to cause damage.:_

_:Idiots.:_ Afiona cursed. Reaching out she touched every mind within the tents and jerked them awake and impressed upon them the need to get down the hill. _:The cursed, thrice damned, idiots!:_

Daric couldn't help but agree. _:What're you thinking?:_

_:That they are getting so desperate to win that they are willing to sacrifice these people to gain the element of surprise.:_ Afiona snarled.

_:I'm sure they have a plan for protecting them.:_

Afiona threaded her fingers through his mane and closed her eyes. Daric was familiar with the routine and stood stock-still.

_:What are you doing?:_ Daric asked.

_:Getting rid of them before they become a threat.:_ Afiona said as she used her Farsight to locate the well hidden Karsites. She wouldn't have noticed them if not for the fear of two of their youngest members.

_:Now what?:_ Daric asked. _:Are you going to alert the Heralds near there?:_ Daric asked.

Afiona watched them for several moments, they had probably been huddling there all night. _:They aren't far from here, and there is only ten, there was supposed to be thirty.:_

_:Maybe they've already had a run in with some of our men.:_ Daric suggested.

_:Or there are two other groups. Can you relay to the Heralds that they are most likely looking for three groups of ten?:_ Afiona studied them for a few more minutes. _:Those boys are nearly scared to death.:_

_:Those older ones are watching you.:_ Daric observed. _:Let's get you out of here.:_

Afiona refused to leave her trance. _:Let me try something first. They have been ordered to take no prisoners and those boys are too young to even be in the army.:_

_:Afiona...:_ Daric said hesitantly.

Afiona Looked around and located a young buck who was unaware of how close he was to humans and charged him towards the tight knot of men. The loud crashing panicked the two boys and all it took was a gentle 'nudge' from her to have them flee straight into the camp while the others turned and attacked the deer. The noise was enough to alert the searchers.

Both boys, perhaps fifteen, slammed to a halt when they realized they had broken cover and stood there quivering with fear and uncertainty.

Afiona opened her eyes and smiled at them. "Lost?" She asked in Karsite.

They looked at each other and stared at her.

_:Now what are you planning?:_ Daric asked.

Afiona stepped away from him to walk up the hill to the boys, the entire time she projected an air of peace and calm. The boys responded so readily she suspected they might be gifted, or perhaps just had potential. "Are you two alright?"

They each reached for their weapons but hesitated and let their hands fall away. Behind them the others in their party had given up all attempts at silence and were fighting for their lives.

Afiona stopped five feet from them and waited to see how they'd react.

"We should fight." One hissed.

"She's a woman!" The other protested.

"We can't surrender. They will torture us!" The first boy protested.

"Hardly." Afiona chuckled. "You must be hungry."

Turning she started walking down the hill, leaving them to follow.

_:The Lord Marshall is going to have _kittens_ when he hears about this.:_ Daric observed. _:I want to be there when he hears.:_

The boys followed a few feet behind her watching absolutely everything.

Afiona led them straight to the Healers mess tent where breakfast was being served. They were stared at as she handed each of them a plate and told them to fill it. There was always plenty of food in this tent, she had demanded it from the Lord Marshall after the last battle had left her Healers badly drained, so the boys didn't even make a noticeable dent in the piles of food. She led them to a corner where they could have their backs to the wall and the promptly started devouring the food.

"I imagine those army rations are pretty horrible." Afiona observed.

Both boys nodded.

"Uh, Mama-Afi, should I ask?" Shain said from behind her.

Afiona looked over her shoulder at him. "I found some hungry boys."

"But..." Shain looked at them then down at her. "But they're Karsite."

"They're boys." Afiona corrected.

Both stared up at Shain with mixtures of fear and defiance.

"Out of curiosity, do you know how to test for gifts?" Afiona asked.

"Of course, I was taught at the Collegium. Why?" Shain asked suspiciously.

"Do you need to touch them?" Afiona asked.

"No, it's just much more difficult if you don't. Why?" Shain asked again.

"Could you please test them?" Afiona asked, still not answering his question.

Shain's eyes became unfocused and he swayed slightly. Finally he blinked rapidly and looked down at Afiona. "Leave to you to find a couple budding Gifted. The one on the right looks like Farsight and the one on the left looks like a mindspeaker primarily."

They were staring at both of them worriedly and unable to understand their speech.

"Good thing we found them before they were discovered. The priests must be too busy." She turned back to the boys. "Eat up, then we'll see about some clean clothing and rest."

"Why?" The taller of the two asked. "I mean why are you being so nice to us Ma'am."

"Because you need it." Afiona said as she continued to eat. "Shain, if you could find them some clothing..."

"Sure, no problem, anything else I can do while I'm at it? Anything, so long as I get to see you defend your decision." He grinned as he walked away.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

"What were you thinking!" The Lord Marshall demanded.

"That we aren't in the business of killing children." Afiona answered calmly. Her calm demeanor was driving him up the wall and she knew it. "Besides, they are gifted which means sooner or later they would have been burned by the priests."

The Lord Marshall looked over at the two boys standing behind Afiona. They weren't hiding behind her as he expected but they still kept their attention focused on her.

"What are we supposed to do with them?" He demanded.

Afiona looked back at them. "They're too young to be drafted into the army so I guess that means they're my responsibility."

"They're prisoners of war." He protested.

Afiona crossed her arms over her chest and favored the powerful man before her with a look designed to make him doubt his own intelligence. "They are minors and therefore, by law, we are obliged to offer them sanctuary if their lives are endangered in their own country."

"Don't go preaching the law at me." The Lord Marshall ordered.

"Don't forget we are Valdemarans and it is our duty as representatives to act according to the ethical standards our kingdom has lived by for centuries. Like evacuating dangerous areas of civilians or to show compassion to the defeated." Afiona said stiffly.

The Lord Marshall drew himself up. "We have a war to fight here."

"But if we forget what that banner stands for—" Afiona started to argue.

"Don't preach at me. I have to worry about my men as well as the Karsites." He interrupted.

Afiona glowered up at him then reached up and snagged his ear. He yelped in pain as she dragged him from the tent towards the Healing tents. "Let me introduce you to your men."

People stopped and stared as she hauled him into the main tent. Soldiers, Heralds, civilians who had been in the wrong place all lay on the narrow cots. There was little room for the games that kept the patients occupied as the Healers bustled about with the morning's work. Boredom and pain were evident everywhere. Some were so swathed in bandages it was impossible to identify them. Others weren't conscious and the only sign they were still alive was the close attention the Healers paid to them.

"I don't think you're worried _enough_ about your own men." Afiona said as she released him. "You are becoming more and more reckless and more and more are being injured or killed because of it. Don't tell me you are even thinking about the well being of Valdemar when you send them out on foolhardy missions because all you're thinking about is victory at any cost, even if that cost is Valdemar herself."

His face flushed as he looked around and met all the curious stares.

"Care to see the other tents?" Afiona asked. "We have lost limbs, broken backs, and even brain damage. Out back we're still trying to deal with the dead. You better believe I hold you solely responsible for every injury."

He glared at her, his hands in fists at his sides, for a second she thought he was going to strike her but he turned on his heel and stomped away.

Esrich, the taller boy, leaned forward. "Will we stay?" He whispered.

"Yes." Afiona assured him.

"He seems quite mad." Ulther commented.

"Oh he is, but not about you." Afiona quickly assured him. "More with me than anything."

"You aren't in trouble over us?" Esrich asked worriedly.

"No." Afiona assured him again.

Both boys relaxed.

"Ma'am. Why haven't you asked us anything?" Ulther, the more practical and the mindspeaker, asked.

Afiona just smiled and walked away. The boys quickly followed her; too many of the wounded and some of the Healers did not appreciate their presence.

"You're going to make her mad." Esrich whispered to Ulther.

"We need to know." Ulther whispered back.

"We can't go back. I told you." Esrich reminded him. "We're safe here."

"Safe until someone decides we know something strategic." Ulther said sarcastically.

"No, we're really safe." Esrich insisted. "I dreamed it."

"How do you know it's not wishful thinking?" Ulther challenged.

"I dreamed of a kind lady offering us sanctuary and I was right." Esrich pointed out.

Afiona smiled as she listened.

"Conspiring with the enemy?" Seviot demanded snidely from just past the trampled earth that was the makeshift courtyard for the Healing tents.

"I wondered when you'd show up." Afiona said sweetly as she strode past him. "Nothing travels as fast in this camp as the gossip."

"What's he saying?" Esrich asked.

"Nothing interesting." Afiona answered. "I need to get some work done. What are your plans?"

"We'll stay with you." Esrich said quickly.

Afiona wasn't too surprised by their answer as she led the way to her tent. Leander was bent over a diagram making notes furiously.

"Ah, Afiona, there you are." He said brightly. "I have some questions to ask."

The boys sat on the cot as Afiona pulled up a chair next to him and studied the paper.

"I like your bodyguards." He said conversationally. "What did you tell them that made them so protective?"

"I told them nothing." Afiona assured him. "They aren't fools, I am the only thing between being guests and being prisoners. It's nice being able to save someone who isn't bleeding to death."

"Ah, that explains it." Leander said in understanding. "We all need something to reaffirm our faith in our abilities."

Afiona glanced over at the pair then down at the paper. "Now, what are we studying, this looks all flipped around."

"It is, I have a patient whose heart is on the wrong side and I need to open him to remove a piece of an arrow head." Leander explained. "I need a map of what's where before I can do anything."

"Why don't you just ask a fetching Herald to help? There is probably two or three sitting in there healing." Afiona suggested.

"I think I might. But if they miss they could cause more damage." Leander pointed out.

"Then get a Seer and a Healer to link with him." Afiona straightened. "Have you seen the night reports? I think I left them in here."

"Before you were called away to treat the Lord Marshall's bleeding stomach?" Leander asked as he shuffled through papers in search of the missing reports. "Dragging him down here by the ear certainly won't help with that."

"But it was needed." Afiona protested.

"I'll agree with you there." Leander chuckled. "Here's the reports. Anything interesting happen last night? I hear you were like a tick, nearly impossible to get rid of."

"Not you too." Afiona rolled her eyes. "Shain and Stef are bad enough. At least Medren is busy worrying about Mia and Nico is in Haven."

"Hard to sleep with all this need around us, I know." Leander leaned back in the chair. "You'll learn the skill eventually, I guess. But leave the simple things for the children, we're going to need you on the more difficult cases. Like when they haul in the wounded, there you are priceless. But knitting bones and closing small wounds is a waste of your energy when tomorrow we'll have more. Speaking of wounded, other than the ones from this morning's little altercation, what are we expecting?"

"Action this afternoon." Afiona said with a sigh. "Which means I have to fit a days work between now and then."

"Get someone else to handle it." Leander advised. "Read a book or go for a swim for the time being. You're too stressed."

Afiona grumbled something about nosy empaths that made Leander laugh.

"I'll go see about trying removing that bit of arrow with the Heralds. You try taking someone's advice for a change." Leander said as he stood and straightened his faded robes.

"I take advice." Afiona protested.

"Not if it's personal." Leander corrected as he left.

Afiona opened the reports and started reading. The boys kept shifting uncomfortably, catching her attention. "There is a Sunpriest here somewhere who could use your help." She said looking up from her papers. "He's one who left when the madness started and has no problem with the gifted."

Both boys' eyes grew large and they watched her warily.

"Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." Afiona promised.

Esrich gave Ulther a look that was best interpreted as 'I told you so' and stood. "Where might we find him?"

_:I'll take them to him.:_ Daric offered.

Ulther jolted slightly and Afiona suspected he had heard Daric's sending.

"Daric will take you to the Priest, the white horse." Afiona pointed through the doorway at Daric who had been grazing up until then.

"The demon horse?" Esrich asked doubtfully.

"He is no more demonic than you are. If you are unsure, you can always ask the priest." Afiona suggested.

The boys were both hesitant but followed Daric at a comfortable distance. Afiona made a mental note to find someone to teach them soon. Ulther wasn't broadcasting yet but he would soon enough or if he was scared.

Resting her chin on her hand started wading through the day's paperwork.

- - - -

Afiona sat on the edge of the cot with a soft thump and rested her elbows on her knees. _:Serves you right for dressing like a target.:_ She teased the occupant of the bed.

Mia opened one eye and grinned. _:If it isn't the great and omniscient Healer Afiona.:_

Afiona chuckled weakly. _:Oh, I wish I were all knowing sometimes, but usually I think I know too little. You've been driving my healers bonkers.: _She scolded lightly.

_:I know. They keep saying 'Mama-Afi will know what to do'. Hence, you must be omniscient.: _ Mia shifted over so Afiona had more room. _:Are you only here to make certain I stay put?:_

_:No. I'm using you as an excuse to sit down for a while.: _Afiona explained. _:Nothing short of tying you to a massive rock will keep you in place. So long as I don't see you mounted and riding into battle I won't order them to drug you.: _

_:No offense, but you look like death warmed over.:_ Mia ignored Afiona's attempt at lighthearted teasing. _:You're pale and you look like you have black eyes rather than just bags under the eyes. What's happening with you?:_

_:Everything.:_ Afiona admitted. _:I miss Lance. Every time they start dragging in wounded I start wondering when it will be him. I even have nightmares about it. I haven't had a good night's sleep since the first night he got here. Every night since then either it's nightmares of my own making or ones I'm picking up from the others.:_

Mia patted her hand reassuringly then frowned. _:Girl, you are as cold as stone, you realize that? Are you getting headaches?:_

_:Constantly. I know what you're thinking, that I have over extended myself but I haven't.:_ Afiona quickly protested.

Mia snorted. _:Now that's a pile of horse droppings. I know the signs. I've seen plenty of Heralds looking like you since I was Chosen -- cold to the touch, constant headaches, inability to sleep, excessive weight loss, and weak shields-- you're way over extended. I thought Healers had a better sense of self preservation than Heralds.:_

_:It's not that bad.:_ Afiona protested. _:Those are all signs of stress too.:_

_:It doesn't take a genius to see you're stressed, but this is more than that. You were stressed when you arrived and you were nothing like this.:_ Mia struggled to sit up but Afiona stopped her with a hand to the shoulder. _:I bet you can see your ribs now, this is more than just not healthy, this is bloody dangerous. Let me guess, the Healers realized you were willing to Heal humans now and haven't let you stop. You're powerful, one of the strongest that has come out of Healers in living memory, but you are not immortal.:_

_:I know I'm mortal.:_ Afiona snapped. _:I am only filling a need.:_

_:Afiona, strong gifts are deceptive.:_ Mia's voice had taken on a much more pleading tone. _:A weak healer would use only a trickle of his own energies so it takes him less time to recover his energies. You use a river compared to them but you aren't allowing yourself more time to recover you energies. Didn't they teach you that in that Collegium before they painted you green and tossed you out?:_

_:More powerful gifts tend to have larger resources.:_ Afiona pointed out defensively.

_:Unless you're a mage you only have what energies are possessed within your body and there is limit. I had a mage as one of my early teachers. It's like a glass of water; when you use your energies it's drained, when you eat or sleep it refills but it can never exceed the capacity dictated by the glass. Now if you are using a great deal of that energy every day and then not eating or sleeping properly they body is forced to feed upon its self to replenish itself.:_ Mia lectured. _:He taught me the signs to watch for in myself and others. He also told me that it often ends with your body shutting down. Maybe an organ and you often slip into a coma if not die.:_

_:That's not going to happen.:_ Afiona swore.

_:Promise me, if you start seeing glowing spots or if you have a hard time thinking you'll talk to one of the other Healers. Please.:_ Mia begged, sensing her friend was unwilling to listen to reason.

_:Why would I push myself that hard?:_ Afiona asked.

_:Because you're desperate for affection and acceptance.:_ Mia answered honestly. _:You're desperate to show to the Healers you aren't a cold, heartless beast. Even Rissa commented on it before we left Haven. After your brother was killed you suddenly started trying to find ways to help. I doubt that was your sole reason but it was part of it. Let's face it, you liked being with the Heralds because the entire lot of us think you're a godsend and wonderful. That may have been the first time in your life you were treat like a valuable part of a group and when the Healers turned on you, you lost part of that. First you started watching the Karsites. Then you started taking over what classes you could. After that you started healing humans, maybe only Heralds at first but now you've moved onto to others. Now you've taken this assignment as Senior Healer even though you were already serving the Heralds and Companions, raising Nico, and spying. You're doing the work of four with the resources of one.:_

Afiona stood with her hands in fists at her sides. _:I am not desperate for approval! I can't believe you actually think I am that juvenile.:_

Before Mia could placate her Afiona stood, spun on her heel, and stalked off.

_:Well, I messed that up.:_ Mia grumbled to Lika who agreed sympathetically.

In her office Afiona flopped into her chair in her office. _:If I were so desperate for approval why would I drag the Lord Marshall around by the ear? Why would I take in the boys when it's obviously an unpopular decision? Why would I run this camp with complete disregard for all prior procedures?:_ Afiona asked Daric.

_:Because you're rebelling a little?:_ Daric suggested.

_:Do you agree with her?:_ Afiona demanded.

_:No, I think you're doing it all because you see a need and want to fill it.:_ Daric reassured her.

Afiona was still fuming as she slid the day's list of fatalities out from under a pile of papers. _:Exactly.:_ She said as she stood again with the list so she could deal with the loathsome task of informing the officers. _:That's what Heralds do.:_

_- - - -_

Esrich looked up from his plate of food, which was rapidly disappearing in the void he called a stomach. "Lady Afiona, have you spoken any more to the Lord about us?"He asked.

"No, there's been no need." Afiona assured him. "The priest sent word that he thought you were both bright examples of the good in Karse and that he would welcome your aid again tomorrow when he collects the belongings of the dead and packages them so they can be shipped to their families. He and the other priests feel it's the least they can do since they are forbidden to pray for our victory."

"Why can't they?" Ulther asked confusedly. "How do you expect to win if you do not call upon your God to help?"

"It's the law, has been since Valdemar was founded." Afiona shrugged. She never understood that law either. Perhaps they would explain it when she finally got onto the rolls as a trainee.

Both boys shook their heads and looked like they doubted the sanity of that law.

"Karse and Valdemar are very different." Esrich said softly.

"Not really." Afiona frowned. "We have the same type of people as Karse. We have our thieves, our gossips, and our warriors, just as Karse does, and it's the people that make the country. At the moment the major difference right now is the beliefs of the leaders."

"You are magic users where Karse believes magic to be unholy." Ulther stirred his food with his fork, a crease between his brows.

"But the priests are using Magic." Afiona pointed out and watched for their reactions. Both boys stared at her aghast.

"But they are the ones who hunt down the magic users." Ulther protested.

Afiona wondered how much to say. "And if the only remaining mages are in the priesthood it gives them a tool to keep the country in line."

"She's right." Esrich nibbled on his bottom lip. "Who better to catch a witch than a witch?"

Ulther shook his head slowly.

"I don't mean all are magic users." Afiona said as she studied her plate. "Many have true callings, many might not even agree with the high priests. But there are mages among the upper echelons of the priests. I read somewhere that the gods are infallible but it doesn't mean that mortals always interpret the message correctly."

Ulther seemed more reassured at her words; Afiona was starting to wonder if the boy had a calling.

Esrich nodded madly. "That sounds true."

"We should hurry up." Afiona suggested. "I'm sure you two would like a chance to clean up after the heavy work you did today helping the others move away from the woods. If you hurry I believe you should be able to bathe alone."

Both boys resumed clearing their plates with a speed and single-mindedness only teenagers seemed capable of.

- - - -

Satisfied her charges were well occupied for the time being, Afiona returned to her small cabin. Her bed was unmade, her dirty robes were folded and piled in a corner until the next time she had a chance to clean them, the two robes she had left that were clean were folded beside her bed.

Sinking onto the thin mattress she half groaned, half sighed. Slipping into a trance she reached for Nico in Haven.

Gods only knew when she'd get another chance to talk to him.

_:Mama-Afi!:_ Nico greeted her with his customary enthusiasm. _:Tell a story?:_

_:No sweetie, I don't have time today.:_ Afiona said apologetically.

She Felt Nico's disappointment. _:Are you being good?:_ She asked.

_:Almost.:_ Nico said honestly. _:Auntie Felisa says I'm being good.:_

It took Afiona a few seconds to remember the sweet little mare that had been sent back with Nico and Tika with her badly injured Herald. She had four children of her own, all grown, so Afiona was very glad she had taken Nico under her wing. He fell into a happy recital of his day and with whom he was playing so all Afiona needed to do was make the appropriate interested sounds.

_:Mama-Afi, your head hurts?:_ He said worriedly.

Afiona refrained from cursing. _:I have to go, Nico. You behave, right?:_

_:Right.:_ Nico promised. _:Maybe Lance kiss your head better.:_ He suggested.

Afiona chuckled at his suggestion. She, like many mothers, performed the ritual of kissing bruises and scrapes better. _:When I see Lance I'll ask him to.: _

_:Lance likes kissing.:_ Nico commented. _:'Specially Mama-Afi. I told Auntie Felisa that you like kissing too. And hugging. I like hugging too.:_

_:I know, baby. When I see you I'm going to give you a big hug.:_ She promised.

_:A big hug and a cuddle.:_ Nico urged.

_:And a cuddle.:_ Afiona promised.

Nico finally let her drop the connection. As she emerged from her trance she sensed a strong disturbance almost right on top of her.

Opening her eyes she saw a vague shape reaching towards her. Rolling away she hit the wall as the shadow jumped back at her movement. Reaching out with her Gifts she grabbed hold of his nervous system and 'yanked'. The intruder crumpled next to her, quivering like a leaf.

Scrambling over top of him she opened her door allowing the setting sun's light to flood in, illuminating Seviot's prone form.

"Damn." She cursed as she rolled him onto his back. Only the fact that he was a healer had saved him from permanent damage being done, but he wasn't a threat to her anymore for the moment.

_:Daric?:_ She called hesitantly.

_:I'm coming!:_ Daric assured her.

_:No need to rush.:_ Afiona rubbed her temples and grimaced at the throbbing pain. _:He's not going anywhere.:_

Despite her assurances of her safety, Daric nearly broke the door down when he arrived.

Opening the door before he pushed it off its hinges she stood to the side, allowing Daric full view of the incapacitated healer.

_:What happened?:_ Daric asked.

_:If he hadn't been a healer I would have killed him.:_ Afiona bit her bottom lip as tears pricked the back of her eyes. The feelings of guilt and shame mixed in with her anger and pain.

_:I get the feeling the Healers are not going to approve.:_ Daric said darkly.

_:That is an understatement.:_ Afiona sighed.

_:What's that?:_ Daric used his hoof to move Seviot over to reveal a long, slim dagger. _:Well, that wouldn't be approved of either.:_

Afiona carefully picked up the knife and stared at it mutely for several seconds. _:It would seem he is determined to be rid of me.:_

_:You know what I'm thinking? Blackmail.:_ Daric said thoughtfully. _:You can't complain because you reacted badly and he can't because you have the knife and a Herald could truth spell you and him. He'd be executed for trying to kill a Herald. At worst you'd lose your greens for reacting in a way that could cause permanent harm.:_

_:That doesn't seem very Companion-like.:_ Afiona frowned up at her Companion.

_:My original solution would have been worse.:_ He admitted. _:You don't try and cure a mad dog, you kill it before he kills you.:_

_:He's not a dog though. He's a human being.:_ Afiona protested.

Daric snorted coldly._ :Could've fooled me.:_


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Shifting her armload of stained greens, Afiona looked back over her shoulder to see if she had dropped any garments. Thankfully she found no misplaced greens on the packed earth.

She could see Seviot watching her from a distance, but so long as he didn't try attacking her again she didn't care if he watched. Daric was watching him and not exactly being subtle about it. But then, what could something that big and white be besides obvious.

The boys were currently with one of her healers learning some basic Valdemaran as they helped with the Karsite wounded. They had been surprised at the number of Karsite regulars who had been wounded and while prisoners were still receiving care equal to those of the Valdemaran wounded.

It was a quiet day on the front since it was a Karsite Holy day, though she couldn't recall which. On the other side of the battle field the priests had everyone but a skeleton guard in their large tents and even from here she could occasionally hear the priests extolling the brave men who had killed the demon… a Herald.

She'd already managed to get most of her 'must do soon' chores done and had a bath in the river. Now she just had to get her laundry done and she'd be ready for another day. She actually had a candlemark to herself, though she wasn't certain what she was going to do with it.

She was torn between talking to Mia and just going for a walk in the woods where no one could pester her.

Ever since her discussion the other day with Mia she had been avoiding the Herald. Not that she was still upset about what Mia said, Afiona had to admit there was at least a kernel of truth to what she said, both about wanting approval and about overworking herself.

She knew she should go apologize to her friend for being so touchy, but in all honesty she was still too embarrassed. On the other hand, a quiet walk in the woods, maybe with a book, might help ease that knot between her shoulders that had defied all attempts to be loosened.

Before she could decide a grimy hand clamped around her mouth and she found herself being dragged backwards into a vacant tent. Afiona's first suspicion that Stef or Shain had decided to play a prank on her was quickly disproven by a mind touch revealing it was neither Stef's ungifted mind or Shain's shielded one. In fact it was a mind of someone so tightly shielded that she couldn't even sense their emotions.

_:Daric:_ She mindcalled as she bit down on the hand covering her mouth and started to struggle. Reaching back she managed to get a handful of hair and yanked it out by the roots.

"Quiet, Healer." A heavily accented voice said in her ear. Afiona ignored the quiet command.

Sinking her teeth deeper into the fleshy part of his hand he hissed a curse and released her. Rissa's training took hold and pivoting Afiona raised her knee to connect with his groin.

Before he hit the ground Afiona recognized her assailant. It was the spy she had helped months ago when Lance was still in the camp.

"Oh, sorry." She apologized and knelt to see what damage she had caused. "You should have said something."

Daric poked his head in the tent. _:It seems I'm always late for the rescue.:_ He teased when saw there was nothing to save her from.

_:You better get out before someone notices you.:_ Afiona suggested.

_:Right, I'll go keep an eye the walking corpse. Call if you need me.:_ Daric said as he withdrew.

Afiona sank onto the floor and waited for him to recover. At least she didn't nearly kill someone this time.

It took him a few minutes to recover enough to sit up.

"You aren't injured, or rather you weren't, so why did youdrag me in here?" Afiona asked him bluntly.

"I wished to bring you news of your husband." The Karsite explained as he examined the teeth marks she had made in his hand.

"Lance?" Afiona's voice quavered.

"He was captured a fortnight ago." The spy explained.

"What?" Afiona said in disbelief.

"I told your Lord Martial ten days ago." He said as he wrapped his hand in a cloth. "When I came back tonight I asked how you reacted, and he said you hadn't been told. I did not think that was right, so I thought to tell you myself."

"Is Lance alright?" Afiona demanded.

"He's alive." The Karsite explained. "Which can be good or ill. They are using him as an example."

"An example of what?" Afiona asked, almost scared of the answer.

The Karsite looked away uncertainly.

"Tell me." Afiona ordered.

"As an example of how demon worshippers should be dealt with." He finally admitted.

Afiona stood carefully. "I have to go."

The Karsite scrambled to his feet. "You can't. If they find you…" He didn't have time to finish his warning before she collapsed where she stood. He barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground.

Cursing in Karsite and Valdemaran he set her on the cot. Peering out the door to the tent he could see her great, white horse charging towards them again. Glancing back at the unconscious woman he slipped out of the tent and made his way to the woods ranged behind the camp.

-

Afiona found Lance strung between two trees on the edge of the camp within view of several tents that were emblazoned with the sun emblem that she knew belonged to the priests. The ropes holding him were blood stained where his struggles had shredded his own skin. They had allowed him enough give in the ropes to kneel but not lie down or sit comfortably. A scabbed wound on his cheek, perilously close to his eye, was red and infected. The dirty shirt he wore was stained from his own blood.

_:Oh, gods, Lance.:_ Afiona cried as she reached for him with her incorporeal hands.

_:Afiona? What the devil are you doing? Get out of here.:_ Lance said with more strength than she suspected him of having.

_:What are they doing to you:_ Afiona demanded as she used her gift to hunt down and purge the infection that was rampaging through him. _:Why didn't you or Carmia call for help:_

_:I can't reach her, They're blocking us somehow.:_ Lance explained, worry for his Companion was palatable. .

Afiona found the mare in a blink of an eye. She was standing in a high wooden corral, hobbled and unable to move more than a few steps.

_:Carmia: _Afiona said hesitantly.

_:What? Afiona? Oh, thank goodness. Have you seen Lance? I can't reach him. I think they have him shielded from me.:_ Carmia raised her head and looked around.

_:I saw him. They've hurt him.:_ Afiona's mindvoice sounded strained even to her.

_:Are they just leaving us here:_ Carmia asked without rancor.

_:I don't know. The Lord Marshall has known for ten days, but he didn't tell anyone.:_ Afiona explained as she searched the mare for injuries.

_:Don't worry, I'm not hurt. They think I'm just a horse. They have me hobbled like this because I kept trying to escape.:_ Carmia explained.

_:I'll talk to the Lord Marshall.:_ Afiona said._ :He'll send someone.:_

_:No, if he hasn't by now, he won't.:_ Carmia said fatalistically.

Afiona shook her head violently. _:He wouldn't just abandon you! He can't just abandon Heralds.:_

_:It's better that it's just us and not an entire rescue team.:_ Carmia pointed out as gently as she could.

Afiona returned to Lance. _:Carmia's fine.:_ She said.

_:Thank you.:_ Lance said gratefully. _:Now go, before they find you.:_

_:I love you.:_ Afiona said.

_:I love you, too.:_ Lance said solemnly.

Opening her physical eyes Afiona found herself in her office tent with both Leander and Shain bent over her with obvious concern.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Shain said dryly. "We warned you that you were pushing yourself too hard."

"It was deliberate, I was tranced." Afiona said as she levered herself up into a sitting position, ignoring the throb of pain behind her eyes.

"You are not moving." Leander said firmly. "Why do the young always think they're immortal?"

"Because young is also synonymous with stupid." Shain replied as he tried to force Afiona to lie back down.

"_Don't touch me."_ She growled as she swung her legs over the side.

Both men drew back at her tone and exchanged glances.

"What's wrong?" Leander demanded.

"I need to talk to the Lord Marshall. Now." Afiona said as she stood carefully. Her legs felt unusually weak.

"I'll tell him." Leander stood between her and the door.

"Leander, move." Afiona hissed.

"No, you are going to lie back down while I fetch the Lord Marshall." Leander said firmly.

Afiona glared at him through bloodshot eyes. _:Daric:_

_:Coming.:_ He answered and almost immediately he appeared behind Leander.

Shain sighed. "You escort her then and don't let her out of your sight." He said to the Companion. Leander turned to see who Shain was talking to and jumped when he saw the Companion.

Afiona wove her fingers through Daric's mane and the pair of them headed towards the tents in the heart of the camp.

"Why'd you let her go?" Leander demanded of the younger Healer.

"Because _that's_ her Companion. If he thinks she needs to go, she needs to go." Shain said as he started after them. "But that doesn't mean I am letting them out of my sight."

"Her Companion?" Leander repeated and hurried in Shain's wake.

When Afiona reached the tent it was packed with people in blue uniforms. She shoved her way through the bodies to reach the table the Lord Marshall was standing behind with a large map.

"Oh good, you're awake." He greeted her. "Just have a seat and I'll get to you in a minute."

"No." Afiona ground out. "I want to discuss this _now_."

"Discuss what?" He asked absently.

"Lance." Afiona's one word was enough to tell him exactly what was wrong.

He glanced around at the confused faces of the officers. "This is neither the time nor the place."

"Now." Afiona repeated. "Why haven't you sent someone to help him?"

He sighed. "I know you care for him, but he's just a Herald. You can't expect me to risk more lives—"

He didn't get a chance to finish before Afiona's fist collided with his jaw. Nobody had time to react before she was over the table, her fists striking his face and neck. Some one grabbed her arm and tried to drag her off their prone leader only to get an elbow to the solar plexus.

"Afiona!" Jisa shouted at her and grabbed her hand.

"He is _not_ just a Herald!" She screamed at the Lord Marshall and struggled to free her hand.

"Afiona, snap out of it." Jisa jerked her hand hard enough to catch her attention. "What's going on?"

"He won't send someone to rescue Lance because he's _just_ a Herald." Afiona explained, her chest still heaving.

"Rescue Lance from where?" Jisa demanded.

"The Karsites have him and he-" Voice dripping with anger, Afiona used her head to indicate she was talking about the Lord Marshall, "didn't tell me." Afiona jerked her hand free. Instead of resuming her pounding she sat, straddled across his chest, and glaring down at him. He wisely decided not to move.

"Shouldn't we stop her?" Someone asked uncertainly.

Jisa stood slowly. The muscles in her jaw were clenched and her hands were in fists at her side. "Everyone out." She ordered. Everyone practically scrambled to the exit.

"Tell me everything you know." Jisa ordered.

Afiona took a few deep breaths and wrapped her arms about her chest to hide their quivering. "Two weeks ago the Karsites caught Lance." Afiona said bluntly. Then she haltingly began to tell the consort both what the spy had told her and what she had seen when she had tranced herself.

When she finished, Jisa offered her hand to Afiona and helped her to her feet. "Have a seat. You look like the walking dead."

Afiona practically collapsed into one of the chairs. "I'm sorry." She muttered as tears started trickling down her cheeks.

Jisa winced as she Felt Afiona's emotions and extended her shields over the shaken healer. The Lord Marshal was just getting to his feet when Jisa rounded on him.

"I want a full explanation." She said coldly. "Why was nobody told?"

"I didn't want Afiona to know because of just this reason. I knew she'd react badly and we need her at least semi functional." He wiped the blood from his nose.

"You are a cold hearted son of a cold drake. Do you know that?" Jisa said in her iciest tones. "I highly doubt you'll be able to convince her to do anything for the good of Valdemar at the moment."

"She's a Valdemaran, she has a duty to do all she can to—" Once again he didn't get a chance to finish.

"You do yours first!" Afiona snapped. Her voice was high pitched and cracked with emotion.

Shain poked his head in the door then hurried to Afiona's side. "What's that ass done now?" He asked as he offered her a handkerchief. "And not one word from you, sir. She's infinitely more important to this camp than you."

Leander was the next to barge in with a blanket in his arms, muttering about the follies of youth.

"Infinitely more important?" Leander repeated.

"Well, I am biased." Shain admitted insolently as he shrugged. "I'd rather follow her than the Blood Lord over there."

"Blood Lord?" Jisa repeated in confusion.

"It's what the men call the Butcher here." Shain explained impudently.

"The Butcher?" This time it was the Lord Marshall who spoke, and he didn't sound impressed.

"What? You expected to be called the savior?" Shain asked the man who had led so many to their deaths acidly. Deciding that the effort wasn't worth his energy he turned back to something he knew was, "Hey, Mama-Afi, you still with us?" He asked in a much gentler tone. Afiona nodded and wiped her cheeks.

"Wonderful." Shain patted her shoulder. "Are you done with the Lord Marshall? You should lie down for a while."

Afiona batted his hand away. "What about Lance?"

"Lance?" Shain repeated. "What happened to him?" He demanded of the King's Own and Lord Marshall.

"He was captured." The Lord Marshall explained as he tried to recover his dignity by straightening his uniform and wiping away the blood.

"Oh." Shain rested his hand on Afiona's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "So that was why you needed to get here so desperately." Looking over his shoulder at the other occupants of the tent his face hardened. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing, he was going to _nothing_." Afiona started to sob, answering for them.

Shain glanced helplessly at the only other female present, Jisa. She quickly moved to comfort the Healer.

"So, Your Majesty, what are we going to do?" Shain asked, ignoring the Lord Marshall.

"By law…" Jisa glanced at the Lord Marshall. "By law I have no say."

"Oh." Shain frowned. "What if something happened to the Lord Marshall?"

"What?" The lord in question demanded.

Shain grinned wickedly as he pulled his robes over his head and handed them to Leander. "This should only take a minute."

Jisa quickly caught Shain's arm before he could resume the pummeling Afiona had started. "Don't. Take Afiona and get her settled. I'll deal with him."

Shain cocked an eyebrow at the serious expression on the Consort's face and nodded reluctantly. Picking Afiona up, he carefully carried her out of the tent.

Leander hesitated a few moments looking conflicted before he followed the pair. Jisa turned back to the Lord Marshall and was about to speak when she noticed his sickening pallor.

"Something tells me calling a Healer won't help here." She commented just as he lunged out of the tent and retched in the sparse grass.

-

Afiona rolled to face the wall and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Damn bastard." Shain cursed. "I should have beat him to a pulp."

Leander grinned slightly but his eyes still looked worried. "By sunset he will be unable to rise from his own bed."

"Oh?" Shain asked with a malicious grin. "Didn't think you had it in you."

"I can be very practical when the need arises. If he is seriously ill for more than a couple weeks the King and King's Own must take his place. And he won't be declared healthy by anyone here anytime soon." Leander sat down on Afiona's lone chair next to the bed. "Now, she has a Companion? Is that just to help with healing them of is this more permanent?"

"I am not too sure." Shain started to pace. "I can't believe they just left a Herald there to rot." He fumed.

Leander leaned down and patted Afiona's shoulder reassuringly. "It is only one man." He said logically.

Shain snorted. "Every man should be important."

"True enough." Leander agreed. "But look at it from the Lord Marshall's point of view. He already has lost many men—"

"Due to his own desperation and unwillingness to admit he is doing dismally." Shain grumbled.

"He has already lost many men and if a rescue group were lost and tortured what would that do for morale?" Leander finished.

Shain shook his head. "At least they would know he gave a damn about them. Besides, he could ask for volunteers. It would also be a good opportunity to find that mage Afiona said the Karsites probably have."

"What mage?" Leander asked in confusion.

"Our Heralds have been blinded by something on that side of the border. Afiona once mentioned they probably had a mage or something." Shain explained. "Send in a small group to get in, cause havoc, find the mage, and get Lance out, how hard could it be? Especially since it's a Holy day."

"What does it being a Holy day have to do with anything?" Leander asked.

"Simple, those men over there are more frightened of their own priests than of us. With all the priests busy saying prayers or preaching death and murder to thy neighbor the guards are bound to be relaxing." Shain explained.

Afiona rolled onto her back and stared at Shain.

"I thought you were listening." Shain grinned.

"You're right, they'd be off their guard." Afiona sat up slowly and winced as her headache flared to life.

"Lie down." Leander ordered.

"No." Afiona said as she leaned against the wall. "How many people would it take?"

"Barely any." Shain admitted. "A Healer for Lance and a couple fighters. Maybe someone who knows the area."

Afiona frowned and rubbed her temple. "Mia's injured, his mother is currently done the line about a half days ride away and we'd have to act fast."

"No offense, but sending a Herald won't be a good idea." Leander pointed out. "Remember they are thought to be demons? If they or their Companions are seen the priests will come running."

"I'll go." Shain volunteered. "I am a fair hand with a blade and a Healer."

Leander shook his head. "I hate to sound like the Lord Marshall, but I don't think it wise if you go. What experience have you had? One on one in a salle?"

Shain scowled.

"He's right." Afiona agreed. "Besides, if I go the younger healers will need you to keep them in line and focused."

"You are going no where." Shain said firmly.

"Over my dead body." Leander grumbled.

"I _have_ to go." Afiona said softly. "I can't do nothing."

Shain and Leander frowned.

"I think I will go find someone who can talk some sense in to her." Shain said as he opened the door.

Once he was alone with her, Leander stood up and started to pace. "You are in no shape to go anywhere. I'd be betraying every oath I have ever taken if I allowed you to do something so foolish."

Afiona slowly stood up and took several slow, deep breaths and put a few pain blocks on herself. The small flashing lights that had been teasing her vision for several days now remained but the pain vanished. "I am going. You can take away my robes, cite me for deserting, I don't care. I _must_ go."

Leander shook his head. "Others are better suited—"

"I love him." Afiona said softly. "That may not mean much to you but it means _everything_ to me. I can't stay here and let him die, it would kill me."

Leander frowned as he felt just how serious she was. "You're broadcasting."

Afiona quickly shored up her shields, she felt Daric offers his help.

Leander placed his hands on her shoulders. "You, my dear girl, are an idiot."

Afiona shrugged. "If it was just me I'd know where everyone is, I could slip right past them, get Lance and Carmia and spook the animals into charging about madly to cover our escape."

"You convinced me already." Leander sighed. "I felt you were speaking the truth. After this you will stay in bed for at least two months, am I understood. I'll be shipping you back to Haven with the first group of wounded if I have too. I am going to get you some supplies for Lance and yourself. Don't do anything stupid just yet."

Afiona hugged him tightly. "Thank you."

"Oh, you'll pay for it later." Leander promised as he returned her hug. "Now pack what you need and I'll be right back."

Leander left quickly leaving Afiona to dig out the nondescript pack she had on hand for the few spies that had come to her for healing. She tossed in some of the ointments and such she had on hand, a couple candles, and a few of the insect repelling smoke bombs that were kept for any tents or building that became infested. Tying her hair back she looked around for anything else she could need.

_:Me perhaps:_ Daric suggested. _:There is no way in the Havens you are riding out without me.:_

_:Of course not.:_ Afiona agreed.

"What the hell does Shain mean you are going off to conquer the Karsites?" Medren demanded as he burst in making Afiona jump. "Sorry."

"I am not going to conquer the Karsites." Afiona explained. "Just rescue Lance. The captured him and they are _hurting_ him."

Medren's expression softened when he saw the depth of her pain. "Do you think Lance wants you risking life or limb to save him?" Medren asked. "I know it would kill him if anything happened to you."

"I know." Afiona said quickly.

"You're a Healer, not a fighter; I've heard about how your classes with that Herald usually ended up with you being battered by your own weapon." Medren continued. "What if you are confronted?"

Afiona handed him the bag. "That's why you are coming."

"What?" Medren gaped at her.

"And change into something less obvious than scarlets." Afiona ordered. "I want to leave soon. They will be lax since most men are at the services and all the priests are."

Medren rolled his eyes. "Give me ten minutes."


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Afiona pulled herself on to Daric's bareback. She had her pack of supplies and those that Leander had packed on her back leaving Medren free to wield his sword.

"Are you sure you can make my horse head back later?" Medren asked as he swung into the saddle. "We don't want her alerting them."

"Medren, she won't be a problem, we have to move quickly." Afiona reminded him. "There are just a few more candlemarks until sunset and they will be back to full alert."

"And Daric? He's a little eye catching." Medren reminded her.

_:Tell him I'll hide until you need me.:_ Daric answered. Afiona quickly relayed.

"You could stay here and I can go get him." Medren suggested.

Afiona ignored him as Daric started out of the camp and towards the woods. The same stretch of trees the Karsites had used to sneak up behind them just a few days earlier.

She had no doubt they had several sentries posted in the woods, but she had the advantage of having near invisible spies to alert her to their presence before they were discovered.

Medren was so tense his horse became nervous.

"Relax." Afiona suggested. "I'm an animal mindspeaker, they will tell me where the strangers are before we get close."

"Sorry, I am just thinking I'd rather write the ballad for this than participate." Medren grumbled.

Afiona ignored his complaints, worrying more about Lance.

"You know your friends are all worried about you. Mia thinks you are working yourself into an early grave, Shain does too actually." Medren commented.

"It's a war, almost everyone is working towards an early grave." Afiona said dismissively.

"Nice try, they're right. You're as thin as a corn stalk." Medren pointed out. "I know enough about Powers to know that's not healthy."

"Medren, now is not the time to start getting all protective again." Afiona snapped.

"I think it is." Medren urged his horse up next to Daric.

"Medren, I am no longer the spooked little shadow that lived with Tashir. I don't need a protector anymore." Afiona said seriously. "I am capable of much more than you think."

"Like what?" Medren challenged.

"Medren, a Healer knows _everything _about a body. Including how to damage it. I have killed with my Gifts before." Afiona admitted.

"So why am I along?" Medren asked.

"Because I don't want to repeat the experience." Afiona admitted. "And I am going to need help getting Lance out. It's better you than Shain who has only practiced sword fights."

"Where as I have managed to talk myself out of a few confrontations?" Medren asked. "Stef is better at fighting dirty. Any of the Heralds would have been better."

"There is also no one else I trust as much as you except Lance." Afiona said softly. "You've always been there. Ever since before my brother tried to kill Tashir you have been my dearest friend."

Medren's face softened at the memories.

Afiona stopped Daric. "If we hurry back maybe we can find someone else."

"No, it would take an act of the gods to get me to turn back." Medren assured her.

_:Strangers…:_ A bird's voice sang her head. _:Back.:_

Afiona turned back and watched for the strangers. They could be Valdemaran.

"What is it?" Medren whispered and slipped from his horse's back and moved back down the path they had been following.

There was only a rustling of leaves before the two dark skinned young men Afiona had rescued just days earlier appeared.

"Lady Healer." The taller one stopped in his tracks stared at Medren.

"Relax, they're my friends." Afiona said to Medren. "Ulther and Esrich."

Hearing their names and seeing Medren go back to his horse they relaxed.

"Esrich dreamed that you will need us." Ulther explained.

"You should go back to the camp." Afiona suggested strongly.

Esrich shook his head violently. His eyes were wide and she could sense fear from him. "I dreamed there will be much blood for you if we don't help."

"It must be Vkanda's Will." Ulther said. "Tell her what else you saw."

"I saw you and the Sleeping Priest." Esrich explained. "He does not wake often, but when he does the Fires are fed."

"Sleeping priest." Afiona repeated to herself in Valdemaran.

"What?" Medren asked impatiently.

"Esrich has foresight. When he dreams it's sometimes of the future." Afiona explained. "He said that there is a sleeping priest and when he wakes they feed the Fires."

_:Sleeping priest… that could be a Priest in a trance.:_ Daric suggested. _:Which would explain why the shields never falter as they would if he had to actually sleep. He can probably go for weeks without rising for food. And our defenses would not affect him. I bet you he also watches their camp for the Gifted which is why the Fires are more active when he wakes up.:_

Afiona nodded. _:But a trance that deep will take a while to wake from. Several candlemarks.:_

"Lady Healer, we must go with you." Esrcih said desperately. "If you die there is no safe place for us."

"Did you see that as well?" Afiona asked.

Esrich nodded.

"Medren, they are joining us." Afiona said.

"What?" Medren asked in disbelief.

"We are going to need them." Afiona explained as she motioned for the boys to mount, one with her and one with Medren.

Riding double the would-be rescuers quickly reached the Karsite guards. The two that were reached first were standing close together, darting glances back towards the well lit camp that could just be seen through the trees.

Afiona gestured for everyone to be silent as she listened to the small wildlife that had not yet been hunted as food or chased off.

_:Now what:_ Daric asked after several tense minutes.

_:Wait for it.:_ Afiona assured him.

Suddenly both men crumpled at the knees and slipped to the ground as she used her gifts to plunge them into a deep sleep. Medren glanced at her but quickly dismounted and gestured for the others to do the same. He quickly tied up both guards and gagged them before hiding them in the bushes.

_:What are you going to do about the Sleeping Priest: _Daric asked as she and Ulther dismounted.

Afiona frowned. Her mind was filled with worries for Lance but Daric was right, this was probably the mage that was the one blocking the Heralds. It was her duty to deal with him and end his threat.

"Ulther, Esrich, where's the Sleeping Priest's tent." Afiona asked in a whisper.

"In the heart of the camp." Ulther answered quickly. "Esrich and I were assigned as guards there once before."

"What are you thinking?" Medren asked in a hissed whisper.

"He's what's stopping the Heralds." Afiona said sounding much more certain than she was. "He is in the heart of the camp, that's where Lance is."

"Everyone is in the tents to worship except the guards." Ulther said as if he understood the direction of their conversation, which was all together likely considering his budding gifts.

"The camp is nearly deserted." Afiona told Medren. "No guards in the camp while everyone is in the tents. We have about a candlemark before the ceremonies end."

"So which do we go for?" Medren asked.

"First we get Lance." Afiona said as she started towards the camp. "Then…"

_:Then for King and country let's flatten that bastard.:_ Daric suggested.

_:If we can get Lance out first.: _Afionainsisted.

_:Afiona, you go see to Carmia.:_ Daric suggested. _:Medren and the lads can take care of an unconscious mage.:_

_:They're not warriors.:_ Afiona pointed out.

_:Also, there are other Valdemaran captives here.:_ Daric reminded her. _:We can't leave them.:_

Afiona stared at the lowering sun for a second. It had taken a mere second for the entire conversation. "There are others we have to rescue." She informed Medren. "Other Valdemarans. Daric will lead you to them."

"I am going with you." Medren reminded her.

"No. Only one person is going into the heart of the camp." Afiona corrected him.

The boys stared at her until she repeated herself in Karsite.

Esrich quickly shook his head. "I am going with you. I saw what will happen, I can help and then none of us will die."

_:If I recall the prisoners are kept near the animal pens. Think you can arrange a few horses:_ Daric asked. _:If we time it right you can be hidden in the heart of the camp when it goes insane out in the pens. Release everything big enough to do damage…:_

Afiona pulled off her pack and pulled out two round, greasy objects, the insect killer. It caused massive amounts of smoke. _:I was thinking to use them to distract. If we toss them in the shrine it will be an evil omen. That, with the animals causing chaos may cause confusion long enough…:_

_:Sounds good.:_ Daric said in approval.

"Go to the southern side of the camp, there are pens with animals and prisoners tied to posts." Afiona explained. "Undo everyone and undo all the gates for the animals. Tell everyone to get a horse and ride like hell for Valdemar when the horses want to run." Turning to Ulther she gave him the oily balls. "When the horses start screaming and running throw these in the shrine's fire if you can then get a horse and go back to Valdemar."

Ulther took the insect repellants and nodded.

"Medren, when the horses start running grab one and ride." Afiona ordered. "And make certain you release Carmia."

Medren did not look pleased with the plan.

"Please, Medren." Afiona pleaded.

"Just remember you have to hightail it too." Medren said as he started around the edge of the camp with Ulther hot on his heels.

"Esrich, show me where the Sleeping priest is." Afiona requested.

Esrich nodded. "I dreamed this."

Afiona hoped it was a good dream.

-

Lance lifted his head and stared at the setting sun. It was a large dome on the horizon now.

"Shhh." Someone hissed behind him as his bonds were cut.

Turning too swiftly and earning the screaming reproach of all his muscles he saw Afiona.

_:I am used to being silent and unnoticed.:_ Afiona reminded him before he could chastise her. _:Can you stand.:_

Lance struggled to his feet and looked around, the only other person he saw was a young Karsite.

_:My friend.:_ Afiona explained. _:Carmia will be here soon.:_

At the south end of the camp hundreds of horses stood calmly despite the open gate as prisoners swung onto their backs. Dogs milled about silently eager for a chase.

_:What are you doing:_ Lance asked.

_:When Carmia gets here mount up and get Esrich out of here.:_ Afiona ordered. _:I have something to do. And you are in no shape to help.:_

Lance traced one hand down her cheek. _:Be safe.:_

Afiona turned her face towards his hand. _:I will be.:_

Carmia, moving as swiftly and as silently as a ghost cantered into the small square at the center of the camp. _:Oh thank the Gods.:_

_:Ride.:_ Afiona reminded him as she pushed him towards the Companion and gestured for Esrich to come forward and mount up as well.

Esrich had to help Lance up onto Carmia but soon both were seated and Carmia started off at an inhuman pace.

_:Now:_ Afiona shouted to Daric. In the south the horses and dogs burst into action as if the world had suddenly gone mad. Afiona ducked into an empty tent and listened as men charged out of the large worship tents towards the commotion. At the same time the prisoners mounted on fresh horses charged straight through camp and swatted at Karsites with makeshift weapons of logs. Few of the Karsites were quick enough to think to pull the prisoners from their horses but those who did quickly found themselves the focus of attention for the dogs who were trained to attack and maim, if not kill.

Afiona waited and watched with her farsight as the priests shouted orders to men, to capture the prisoners. Then they noticed the thick black smoke pouring from their holy fire. Still she waited as they milled about in more confusion than the horses and dogs that had already fled the camp.

Around the camp priests shouted prayers and men fell to their knees praying.

Fanaticism wasgood for her in this case.

Slipping from the tent Afiona saw no one.

The tent door of the "Sleeping Priest" was thrown aside as he staggered out and blinked up at the sunset.

Now that he was awake Afiona could sense him as clear as day. It took only seconds before he spotted Afiona.

"You…" He growled. "You're the watcher."

Afiona ignored everything he said as she stepped closer. Her only weapons where her mind and a knife she always carried but was not adept with. She just needed to distract him here long enough for Daric to arrive with his lethal hooves and teeth.

_:Magic:_ Daric warned her.

Afiona dove to the side as the priest drew his arm back and flung a hastily made fireball. His aim was off as he had yet to completely emerge from the trance and it collided with a tent.

Rolling to her feet easily, one of the few skills she had learned from Rissa's teachings, she waited for the next attack.

In the chaos Daric jumped over several prone Karsites in his race to Afiona. Behind him screams of white demons joined the fervent pleas for forgiveness from the Sun God.

Racing through the burning tent he saw the burst of fear on the mage's face as Daric jumped over his beloved Chosen and landed between them. If the slimy bastard thought he was going to harm a single hair on Afiona's head he was in for a surprise.

Raising his hand for another fireball the mage aimed for Daric.

A quick shadow behind the mage was all the warning they had before Esrich leaped from the shadows with his sharp curved dagger at the ready and aimed for the Mage's heart.

"Esrich!" Afiona shouted as the dagger arched down. The mage turned at the last second and the dagger slid into right shoulder.

Esrich jumped free as the mage priest staggered back and he ran to Afiona. "We must go. More come."

Daric spun about to see the confusion had turned against them. _:Afiona, we have to go.:_

Afiona pulled herself up onto Daric's back and helped Esrich up behind her. Shouts made it clear that the army, desperate for something to blame, had found the trio in the center the perfect target.

_:Protect Esrich.:_ Afiona commanded.

She felt Esrich vanish to her senses as Daric engulfed him in his shields and Afiona lowered hers. Digging into her deepest memories for the ones she could never leave behind, the ones that still sent her, an adult healer, into a full panic she let the emotions they held overwhelm her.

Afiona's vision wavered as the present wavered and the past reared before her eyes.

The last thing she saw was the Sleeping Priest's face as the pain and fears of her childhood slammed into him. Digging deeper yet she unearthed another memory.

This one, so real, the ceaseless dark, the twisting pain, the silence, made her scream with fear. It was a memory of when she had gone exploring and had stumbled into her father's workroom where a demon had been held captive. It couldn't kill her, bound as he was, but had nearly succeeded in scaring her to death.

Beneath her Daric lurched forward as men, forced to a child's point of view to witness the awful power of the demon, crumpled and screamed for mercy.

Esrich wrapped his arms around her waist and held her on as the Companion pushed and fought his way out of the camp. More than a few times He had reared and his silver hooves had lashed out to kill a Karsite who had gotten in his way.

Once started the memories would not retreat and nor did she want them to. She could feel the screaming panic of the Karsite soldiers and priests. Letting herself feel the fear she broadcasted it back out.

She started to feel herself being devoured by the emotions and pain surrounding her and filling her as her grip on herself loosened

_:Hold on to me.:_ Daric commanded.

Afiona seized hold of his mental presence.

_:Afiona: _ Lance called to her desperately.

Afiona reached for him. On Daric's back her body went limp, only Esrich's tight grip on her waist kept her astride.

Afiona, her present and past confused, saw the mage's face as he struggled to create a strong enough shield to hold off her broadcasting of fear, and was failing. In her mind the mage, with his dark eyes and hair, became her father in spirit if not looks.

_:No more.:_ Afiona screamed at him. From his expression she knew he had heard her.

_:No more: _Afiona shouted again. _:It's over.:_

In the priest's chest his heart started to spasm madly as he made out the form of a small child before him, as substantial as smoke but the most fearful creature he had ever witnessed.

As he clutched his chest and fell to his knees Afiona found herself snapped back into her own body. Opening her eyes she saw glowing orbs dancing madly and her headache was gone.

The orbs grew together until her vision was blotted out by the glowing white lights and she slipped towards true unconsciousness.

_:Mama-afi:_ Nico's young voice in far off Haven reached her as the white became black and everything was silent.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

_More than two decades ago..._

Afiona stared up at the healer as he touched her forehead. His brown eyes set in a long face seemed to stare through her as if she were merely air. To be air would be good. No one saw air…

"Well child?" He asked bluntly. "What happened to you?"

Afiona stayed silent.

He frowned and she felt something inside her head, which she instinctively forced away. Whatever it was tried once more before retreating.

Afiona stared up at the Healer and waited for him to go away.

"Well sire, I fear the boy has gone too far this time." The healer said as he sat upright. "Her mind is as blank as a bowl of water."

"What of her abilities?" Her father asked coldly.

"Unusable, you need a mind to wield them." The healer pointed out.

Her father looked at her, solely at her. Something she had longed for once with all her heart, but now scared her.

Her father turned from her with a look of disgust and stormed from the room. Without another word or look the Healer followed.

Afiona had known that Healer all of her young life. He had been the one who sealed the wounds her father made, who healed the bones her brother broke, the one who always made her well for more pain.

She feared him almost as much as her father now.

What if she had been left in the calm dark…

Closing her eyes she slipped into sleep, the closest thing she had to the blessed oblivion that rescued her from the pain.

- - -

Lance pulled away from Healer Leander as Daric galloped towards them and slid to a stop shivering madly. In the light cast by the torches that ringed the square in front of the healers it was possible to see Afiona slumped forward and as limp as a rag doll with only the slender, wide-eyed boy holding her on.

Shain abandoned the former prisoner he was tending and ran forward to catch Afiona as she slid from Esrich's grip and off Daric's back.

"Afiona." Lance half limped and half staggered to her. Fear rocked him to the soul when he saw her colorless face. Reaching out he gently caressed her cheek. "Is she going to wake up?" He asked Shain.

Shain ignored him as he shouted to two of the older healers and carried Afiona towards her tent. Lance struggled to follow but Leander quickly stopped him.

"Sit down, the best thing you can do for her is let me tend you." Leander said gently as he took his arm and led the Herald back to the cot he had been seated on as Leander examined the worst of the damage.

"I can't believe she did that." One of the young healers said in disbelief. "And the Karsites didn't even try to follow her."

Mia pushed her way to Lance's side and clasped his hand wordlessly. For a long moment they simply stayed silent.

"She's alive." Mia said softly.

"I know." Lance said just as softly. "But will she come back?"

Mia sat on the ground and patted his hand. "Of course. Afiona is strong and stubborn. How else could she have survived this long? That was nothing compared to what has happened to her."

Leander ignored the exchange. "Lie down Herald, you are going nowhere for a while."

A Herald in crisp, brilliant whites hurried in. "The Karsites are retreating."

"What?" Leander stood up.

"She scared them off." He grinned. "We are sending troupes to make certain it's not a ruse but they are leaving everything and running. Men, priests, everyone."

"Does she always go overboard when she decides to do something?" Leander asked as he turned back to Lance who was looking both torn and relieved. "She decides to heal humans, then single handedly tries to patch up every wounded that came through here. Decides to rescue you, and ends up bringing back fifty odd prisoners and scares off a large chunk of the Karsite army just for the hell of it."

Lance ignored the Healer and prayed, something he nearly never did, that Afiona would be all right.

- - -

Nico ran as fast as his too long legs would carry him to the last place he felt his Mama. He could always feel her there in his mind but now she was gone and he didn't want to be alone.

Scrambling around a slow farmer's wagon he raced on even though his lungs hurt and his hooves were sore.

_:Mama-afi:_ He called again. _:Come back! I always be good, always:_

_:Slow up there little fella.:_ A Companion stallion said as he tried to move around him. _:What's wrong? Where's your mother:_

_:Mama-afi gone:_ Nico wailed, stopping his head hung between his legs and large tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Afiona's gone? But the bell never rang." The Herald dismounted and used his handkerchief to dry the large tears. "I just saw her a few days ago, she was fine."

Nico raised his head. _:Not fine, gone.:_

_:I think something happened.:_ His Companion said worriedly. _:If Healer Afiona was hurt or killed that means they could have attacked the camp. We need to go back, the reports can wait.:_

"I agree." The Herald stood. "You go back to Haven, we'll check on Mama-afi for you."

_:No, I go.:_ Nico said and started running towards the border again. Behind him the Herald and Companion followed.

- - -

Seviot watched the Healers as closely as a hawk watches a fleeing rabbit. Inside that small tent Afiona was lying unconscious. He could barely Feel her from here.

Was it finally over? He could hardly hope that now it was finally over.

"I hear Healer Afiona is really an escaped Karsite princess." A soldier gossiped behind Seviot.

"Nah, not possible. She's a Valdemaran, just look at her." Another soldier said and shook his head. "I hear she is a spy, been working against the Karsites all this time. Slipped across every night and tried to learn their plans.

"Then why was she always at the tents? I'm telling you, she's a princess." The first soldier argued.

"Actually, she's a Mavelan." A strong male voice corrected. "I should know, she's my cousin."

Seviot froze and turned slowly. There, just feet away, was his worst nightmare made flesh. Vedric in all his golden perfection turned and focused his eyes on the healer for a split second before he turned back to the soldiers.

"Your cousin, Herald?" The second soldier said in disbelief. "Are you that Herald from up north? The baron one?"

"Yes. That's the one." The Herald confirmed. "She is a Valdemaran Lady, a Healer, but not a Karsite princess."

Seviot slowly walked away wanting to put as much distance between himself and the false Herald as possible.

- - -

Leander knocked Shain's feet off the desk and woke the young healer. He was not he Healer in charge of Afiona but guilt kept him close to her.

"What time is it?" Shain asked as he shook the cobwebs from his brain and straightened in the chair.

"A couple hours until dawn." Leander sat in another chair and stared at Afiona for a long moment. "You know, I hate being in charge."

"Yeah? Heralds trying to escape again?" Shain asked dryly.

"Just Mia. The problem is I have to be the one to answer Lance's questions." Leander rested his elbows on his knees.

"Serves you right for letting her go." Shain said bluntly.

"They end their Holy days with Fires, I bet you Lance was scheduled to be the star of the show." Leander pointed out. "If he died she probably wouldn't have survived the shock. If she did she could have leveled _our_ camp with her grief and not the Karsite one."

"So you sent her as a weapon?" Shain asked in disgust.

"No, I sent her because nothing would have stopped her." Leander corrected. "As much as you may want to ignore it, she is lifebonded."

"I know." Shain admitted with a sigh.

Leander reached out and touched Afiona's hand. "She's young, strong, and has several reasons to live, Shain."

"True." Shain stood up. "I'm surprised Seviot hasn't been telling everyone that her blatant misuse of her empathy proves she is unworthy. That was certainly some powerful material she provided him. I have never heard of a healer deliberately using their Powers offensively like that."

"She has too many supporters right now to try something that foolish. He may be a bigot, but he's not a fool." Leander pointed out. "As for what she did, who's to say it wasn't merely a bad flashback on her part. I believe she has done this before. I'd say routing the camp like that is merely an unexpected benefit of this whole mess."

Shain chuckled at the other healer's creative interpretation of what had happened. "I'm going to go grab something to eat. You going to stay and watch Afiona?"

"Yes, and don't forget you still have duty tonight." Leander reminded him. "Get some sleep this afternoon. And be careful when you answer questions."

"Yes boss." Shain said dryly as he left the small tent.

In the mess tent he found everyone talking loudly and excitedly.

"Is it true?" One of the young healers asked quickly. "Mama-afi ended the war?"

"It looks that way." Shain answered. "The other Karsites are retreating as well."

"Is it true the Lord Marshall is going to be replaced?" Another demanded.

Shain grinned crookedly. "Not sure, but apparently he is violently ill. If it keeps up for a while we will need a replacement, at least a temporary one."

There were several unsympathetic grins from the healers.

"Guilt." One said quickly. "It can often cause a physical reaction, he must have finally realized the harm he was doing to his men."

"Or his bleeding stomach has taken a turn for a worse." Another suggested.

"He should be put on bed rest immediately. Any medications we prescribe will alter his state of mind which makes him unsuitable for his position." One of the eldest present said with a slow grin.

"Afiona's his healer so I guess it falls to you to talk to him, Shain, as her second in command." One of the young ones said in all seriousness.

"After I eat." Shain said firmly. "I doubt I could face 'the Butcher' on an empty stomach."

"Why not? He'll be facing you on one." A middle-aged healer laughed.

- - -

Medren and Stef sat in the shade of the trees and watched the people greeted the morning with much more eagerness than they had the previous days. It was possible to trace who had heard the news as they moved about quicker.

"Afiona is the hero of the hour." Stef commented.

"That she is." Medren assured him. "Are you going to write a ballad?"

"I think I will." Stefen said thoughtfully. "But not until she wakes up."

"Which I hope is soon." Medren said.

"What do the Healers think?" Stefen asked.

Medren shrugged. "I can't get a straight answer out of them. She was in bad shape before and then that massive thing she did to the Karsites pushed her from bad to 'only Heralds go here' bad. I know Afiona though, she'll probably be back on her feet in a couple days."

Stefen chuckled. "I agree. The Healers aren't about to let one of their own die, even to her own foolishness."

"Yeah, she is one of them now, isn't she?" Medren looked over at the bustling green clad men and women. "About time they hauled their heads out of their collective rumps and took a breath of fresh air."

"What was it like over in Karse?" Stefen asked.

Medren grinned crookedly. "You should have seen those Karsites faces when we came riding out. They look like someone had hit them all with a board. There was almost nobody on duty, and the few that Ulther and I ran into were unconscious before they had a chance to raise the alarm. The kid seemed to know where they all were and we could knock them out before they uttered a word."

"Ulther?"

"Ulther and Esrich are those Karsite boys she rescued. Not sure why they showed up but I am grateful they did." Medren explained. "Esrich was the one who rescued Afiona after she rescued Lance. Make sure you mention them in the story, those boys were heroes."

"Speaking of Lance, how is he?" Stefen asked.

"Absolute wreck." Medren said bluntly. "The Karsites were not exactly good hosts."

Stefen grimaced. "But it's over."

"Looks like it." Medren agreed.

"Wonder if having mages would have ended it faster." Stefen said thoughtfully.

"Who knows, but we can make it sound like no mage would have stood a chance. It did take a Healer to drive out the Karsites this time." Medren pointed out. "A few of the prisoners who weren't far enough away are so jumpy now that I think those that were closer to her are trying to wall themselves inside a cave somewhere. Hard to wage a war when your highest ranking men become scared of their own shadows."

Stefen chuckled. "You know, there are only two other bards here and the camp is certainly going to be celebrating. I say we are wasting time up here when there is coin to be found"

Medren laughed and got easily to his feet. "Cleavage and coin calls."

"To you maybe." Stefen said dryly. "What about Mia?"

"We aren't serious. She made it clear she still wants to play around with others." Medren explained. "Which is fine by me. She's sweet, but with a Herald you never get their full attention, unless you are lifebonded to them."

"Even then…" Stefen frowned slightly.

Medren shifted uncomfortably. He hated bringing up depressing memories for his friend.

"Where shall we set up our hats?" Stefen asked with a smile, changing the topic. "Time's awasting."

- - -

Shain stopped and straightened his robes before he entered the large tent sheltering the Lord Marshall without waiting to be announced.

"Where in the ten hells have you been?" The Lord Marshall demanded, "I asked for a healer candle marks ago."

Shain studied the man's pallor, almost green, and nodded slowly.

"Not you!" The Lord Marshall said as he finally saw who the healer was and struggled to sit up. "You're the one who caused this!"

"Actually I didn't, and you can question me under truth spell, if you can find a Herald not out checking for stray Karsites, they aren't exactly picky about the direction they run." Shain pulled a chair to the edge of the cot the Lord Marshall was sprawled on. "You should see it, your job done by a tiny little healer. Just to get Lance back. Goes to show that war can turn on a silver coin, doesn't it?"

The Lord Marshall lunged for the chamber pot next to his cot and retched violently.

Shain pulled his feet and robes out of the way. "I'm afraid none of us can cure this, at least not quickly."

"What do you mean?" The Lord demanded as soon as he could speak again.

"I mean your problem is going to need several long session with the Mindhealers." Shain leaned forward and braced his elbows on his knees. "We have some teas that can help with the bleeding stomach, but it's going to be a couple months at least before you will be capable of returning to duty."

The Lord Marshall struggled to sit up. "What nonsense is this!"

"Not nonsense." Shain corrected. "I have already arranged for you to be transported to a nice healing temple up north, near your estate, that has a mindhealer. She's not strong but she is skilled. Perhaps in a year you can return to Haven. But I wouldn't recommend it." He patted the Lord Marshall's shoulder. "It could bring up bad memories and trigger a relapse. Get some rest, your servants are already arranging the coach."

The Lord Marshall was no fool. If he claimed he felt no guilt for the deaths he'd be considered a monster. If he was in the care of a mindhealer there was no way they would ever accept him as Lord Marshall again.

Outmaneuvered by a gaggle of healers…

Shain pulled three packets of herbs from his robes and set them on the table that was used to hold maps during war meetings. "These are the teas I mentioned, mostly to relax you, but drink this one anytime you feel your stomach getting a bit rebellious. Otherwise drink this one twice a day, with breakfast and supper. Drink this one three times a day; when you wake up, midday, and just before bed. Perhaps when you had Afiona up here all those times you should have allowed her to check your bleeding stomach."

Standing up Shain frowned thoughtfully. "If she wasn't up here to keep you hale and whole, one must wonder what you needed her so often for. She wouldn't be bedding you, not with Lance in her life."

Leaving the Lord Marshall to fume- which he was currently doing furiously- Shain went searching for the King and his King's own. Both were young and inexperienced with battle, but thanks to Afiona there was little more than to push their border back through empty lands. Maybe rout a few bands that had yet to follow their leaders in running for the hills.

Shain waited to be announced by the Herald on duty at the Royal tent rather than just barging in like he had at the Lord Marshall's tent.

When he was allowed inside he was surprised to find the Royal couple's tent as Spartan as any of the soldiers' tents.

"Thought you might like to know that The Lord Marshall has been forced to leave active duty due to medical problems." Shain said as he tried to hide a grin.

"What happened to him?" Jisa asked seriously.

"His bleeding stomach took a nasty turn. And his being ill hasn't helped any. But it's nothing we can cure here, guilt does funny things to people." Shain shrugged.

"What about Afiona, has she improved any?" Jisa asked worriedly.

Shain frowned and shook his head. "Not yet, but it is early yet, and she hasn't taken a turn for the worse so I am hopeful. She has a Companion to anchor her, not to mention Lance. But she is going back to Haven just as soon as we can get her on her feet and is not going to be doing anything more difficult than perhaps some limited mind speech for months."

"Who is in charge of the Healers now?" King Treven asked.

"Leander, I still have night shift so I have to go find a bed to occupy for the next few candle marks." Shain turned to leave.

"Healer, thank you for bringing us this news so promptly." Treven said regally.

Shain grinned. "Well, in about a quarter candle mark it will be all over the camp. We Healers are rather pleased with ourselves. I figured you'd like to know ahead of the rumor."

Treven laughed.

Shain bowed and left the royal couple feeling rather pleased with himself.

- - -

Lance had been given the cot at the doorway, which allowed him a clear view of the office tent. So far no one had gone rushing to Afiona in a panic. One young Healer, and fellow patient named Olgi, assured him that it was merely a matter time before she woke up.

Leander emerged and didn't look any more worried than before and spoke to an elderly healer quickly before returning to the tent.

As the Healer passed him Lace grabbed hold of his arm. "What did he say?" Lance asked, desperate for any information.

"He asked for an extra couple blankets for her, that's all." The old Healer explained. "We are sending you both to Haven as soon as she wakes up."

"Wakes up? So you expect her to regain consciousness?" Lance asked eagerly.

"Aye, we do. If only because she has yet to finish pummeling the Lord Marshall." The Healer grinned. "Get some rest and I'll see if you can visit her tomorrow."

"Why not today?" Lance asked.

"She is very weak, we don't want to risk any illness or infection. When we are certain you harbor no disease you can visit her." The Healer pulled his hand free. "It may take a few days but she will wake up."

"Thank you." Lance said as the Healer left.

In retrospect he should have truth spelled the Healer.

Mia snuck down to sit on the edge of his cot. "What did he say?"

"You could have asked me by mindspeech." Lance pointed out.

"I could have. But as soon as the Healers are looking the other way I am heading back to my tent." Mia admitted. "Glad to see you back by the way. She missed you dreadfully."

"I missed her too." Lance admitted.

"What did he say?" Mia prodded again.

"He said she will probably wake up in a few days. And they will try and let me see her tomorrow." Lance explained quickly.

"Oh thank all the mother blessed gods!" Mia said fervently. "Now, I was thinking, as soon as she's up and about you should propose."

"Propose what?" Lance asked in confusion.

Mia rolled her eyes. "Marriage, please keep up. So, you should propose as soon as she's up and about. It would make a perfect end to the song."

"What song?" Lance said, still confused.

"Well, there are four bards in camp, about twenty minstrels and at least one musically inclined Herald." Mia pointed out. "You think there isn't going to be a few songs about this little adventure? There's probably going to be one from every imaginable angle, maybe even a farce. Stefen is damn good with his pen, I bet his will be sung for a thousand years where as mine will be lucky to be recorded in the Chronicles."

"You are going to write one?" Lance asked.

"Yes, I was thinking romantic one, I am good at those. So you can see why I think you should propose." Mia explained.

Lance smiled slightly.

"Ah, here's my chance. Talk to you later." Mia stood slowly and hurried from the tent.

"Herald Mia!" A Healer called and quickly went in pursuit.

Lance shook his head when the Healer returned with his arm around Mia's waist and guided her back to her cot. As she passed she winked at Lance.

_:Moving on:_ Lance asked.

_:Medren is a darling, he'll probably be fun when he's in Haven, but I want to try a Healer. I hear they can be great in bed, knowing the body as they do.:_ Mia explained. Lance shook his head but wasn't surprised.

Lance folded his pillow so he was propped up higher and resumed the watch on the office tent. _:Wake up Afiona.:_ He called. _:We can talk about giving_ _Mia her happy ending.:_

There was no answer.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Shain signed the log for the painkillers given to one of the patients and made a note that his requests had been increasing over the past couple weeks.

"Going for a walk Herald?" He asked when he sensed movement behind him.

Turning he found Herald Mia, looking clearly unrepentant.

"Just around the camp." She said. "Then I was thinking I should pester the cooks for some food, grab a blanket, and have a nice picnic out in the woods."

"Back to bed." Shain ordered and gestured towards her vacant cot.

"You could join me." She suggested. "I know you get off duty soon and I bet you are just itching to get out of that robe."

The exasperated healer rolled his eyes at the incorrigible Herald. She wouldn't give up. "You, Herald, are injured. Get to bed before I prescribe a sedative."

"I know a perfect sedative." Mia purred. "I always sleep well afterwards anyway."

Shain blushed and cleared his throat. "Bed."

The short, blonde Herald grinned impishly. "Yours or mine?"

"Mia, you are going to scare him off." Lance commented.

Mia glanced over her shoulder at the wounded Herald. "Didn't think you were awake. How are you feeling?"

"Same as before." Lance said dryly.

Mia turned to Shain. "Perhaps we should have that picnic before you start shift. Tonight? Out at the Herald end of the camp?"

"You are a patient." Shain said firmly. "It would be unethical."

Mia's mouth snapped shut and she turned to Lance. "Some guys just don't get the hint, you know?"

"I think he got the hint." Lance said dryly.

Shain rolled his eyes, again, and walked away, retreating for the moment.

Mia sank onto the edge of his cot. "My stomach is killing me so it's probably for the best anyway. How's the leg?"

"Sore, stiff, and mangled." Lance answered with a bitter scowl.

"Could be worse." Mia reminded him. "You have all your limbs and will be able to get around on your own. Some Heralds will never ride again."

Lance immediately felt like an ungrateful heel. "Thanks, I feel so much better now." He said dryly.

"Any word on Afiona?" Mia asked.

"No. Which is starting to really worry me. How long can she stay like that?" Lance gestured at the tent.

"How many Healers go in there every day?" Mia asked.

"There are five Healers assigned to her." Lance informed her.

"Well, don't count Shain among them. He's there out of guilt. Leander is probably just checking on her. So, three Healers in charge of her?" Mia asked.

"No, five, plus Shain. Leander is her lead Healer." Lance corrected.

"Hmm, he's usually reserved for the tough cases, they must be worried." Mia sighed. "Have they been going in more often lately?"

"Less often." Lance admitted.

Mia nodded and smiled brightly. "See, a good sign. She doesn't need to be watched constantly anymore. Backlash is nasty, remember hearing the stories about Herald Vanyel when his power first awoke? They are probably keeping her asleep so she doesn't have to live through the consequences of pushing herself so far."

"Then why wouldn't they let me see her?" Lance demanded.

"Because she's an empath and probably has no shielding right now. With the pain in your leg and how worried you are you'd probably wake her up sooner than they want." Mia reasoned. "They won't let Daric inside and he's her Companion."

"But they don't know that." Lance pointed out.

"Right." Mia stared at the small tent thoughtfully. "Listen, I know Afiona. She'd rather live through hell than let you worry like this. I'll distract Shain by making an absolute cake of myself, you sneak over there and check on her. They'll probably find you soon, but it will at least give you a few minutes alone with her."

She reached under the cot and located the bell they had tied under every Herald's cot in an attempt to know when they were up an about when they should be on their backs. With a quick tug she pulled it free and tossed it out the door. "There, wait until I have Shain's attention."

Pulling the loose tunic lower to reveal more flesh and the crease of her breasts she winked and headed for her target.

"Shain." Mia smiled coyly.

Shain looked back over his shoulder and sighed. "Yes Herald? Need some help back to your cot?"

"No, I know where it is." Mia stepped around him so she was in front of him. "You know, I am not _your_ patient, so really there is no ethical breach."

"Herald..." Shain sighed.

"Mia." She corrected. "If you ever want to join me for that picnic, you know where to find me."

"What about the Bard?" Shain asked. "It's not like a Herald to want to stray."

Mia chuckled. "Medren would like more from a girl than he will get from a Herald. Our lives are our duties, he knows it, but that doesn't mean he'd want to share the love in his life with it. Besides, I am not looking for serious, just some fun, to indulge in life."

Shain shook his head. "You are still in my care and even if it's not unethical by the Circle's standards it is by mine."

"Oh well then." Mia glanced at Lance's cot and saw it empty. "Perhaps later, when I'm all patched up."

Shain watched her walk slowly to her cot and lay back down with her hands on her abdomen. Striding down to the covered barrel at the end of the tent he removed a hot towel and went to her side. "Here, put this on, it will help loosen those muscles. You shouldn't be bending over like that yet."

Mia scowled at him. "You leave him alone or I will write a bawdy song about you and give it to the minstrels to sing all over camp."

Shain laughed and helped her get the towel into place and stood up. "Leave who alone?" He winked as he turned away.

_:Damn, Lika, I like that one.:_ She grinned. _:Hmm, they said it would be a couple more weeks before they'd release me for semi- active duty, what is a girl to do for two whole weeks:_ She grinned mischievously.

Lika chuckled. _:Think up ways to enjoy that picnic: _

_- - - -_

Afiona was lying perfectly still on a wide cot, her hands at her sides on top of the blankets. Her hair was spread out over the pillow like a fan. The dark circles under her eyes gave her an almost cadaverous appearance.

Lance leaned heavily on his new cane and limped to her side. _:Afiona:_ He called to her, praying she'd answer.

He sat carefully in a chair next to her bed a picked up one limp hand.

_:Lance, you need to sleep.:_ Carmia said with obvious worry. _:Get into bed and try and rest. Besides, I think she'd appreciate your touch.: _

Lance gently moved Afiona to the side and crawled in next to her and pulled her tightly against his chest. The feel of her breath on his neck and the soft sigh she made as she curled towards her heat made his heart twist. She was so close, yet so far away.

Lance closed his eyes and stroked her hair out of his face. "Afiona? Can you hear me?" He whispered to her.

Sleep claimed him before there was any answer.

The sun was above the horizon and the camp was bustling about when someone finally found him.

Leander hesitated when he saw the pair curled together on the cot. It was unlike Shain to lose a patient so he was certain Shain was aware the Herald was here.

"Lance." He said and shook the Herald's shoulder.

Lance didn't respond before he rolled over enough to favor the Herald with a glare.

"Get up." Leander ordered. "Time for breakfast."

Lance slowly sat up and Leander handed him his cane.

"That mage is dead, right?" Lance asked as he glanced down at Afiona.

"Yes, they found his body, Esrich identified him." Leander answered in confusion.

"Pity." Lance said coldly. "I wouldn't have minded five minutes alone with him."

Leander shook his head and herded Lance out of the tent. "It wouldn't help her any."

Lance's smile was cold.

Leander did not want to think the damage the wounded Herald would still be able to inflict. Lance's mother was the advanced weapons teacher for the Heralds after all and he had to have learned more than a few tricks for causing injury, even hampered as he was by his injuries.

As Lance stepped out into the cool dawn he paused and stared at the small Companion racing back and forth across the empty battlefield.

"What's wrong?" Leander asked and followed the Herald's gaze. "A Companion?"

"I think that's Nico." Lance said and started down towards the panicked white figure. "Nico?"

The Companion stopped, stared up at him a second then charged up the hill. _:Lance:_

"What's he doing here? I thought she sent him back to Haven." Leander said as he quickly followed.

Nico slid to a stop in front of Lance, his sides were shuddering with each breath he took.

Daric appeared as if by magic and nuzzled his son, trying to reassure him.

"What's wrong?" Lance asked as he stroked the colt's neck.

_:Mama-afi disappeared.:_ Nico said in a wail.

Lance braced himself with his cane as Nico buried his face in his chest. "She's alright." He assured Nico.

_:She not go to Demon:_ Nico asked with obvious relief.

"She's just sleeping, she helped lots and lots of people so she needs to sleep." Lance explained. "She's in that tent there. Just don't wake her up."

Leander started to protest as the colt scurried towards the tent.

"He's a baby." Lance reminded him. "Do you want to tell him he can't stay with his mother?"

Leander colored slightly. "So long as he doesn't bother her he may stay."

"Bother her? She'd be upset if he were anywhere else." Lance informed Leander.

- - - -

Afiona slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring at a small white muzzle on her pillow.

"Lance?" She croaked as she tried to prop herself on an elbow only to stop when agony speared her skull.

_:Afiona! Thank all the gods you woke up.:_ Daric gushed.

_Mama-afi:_ Nico scrambled to his feet and nosed her and earned a scratch on his cheek. _:I worried.:_

"I know baby." Afiona stroked his face and blinked back tears. "I missed you so much."

_:I never ever leave Mama-afi again.:_ Nico said firmly and leaned into her hand.

_:How are you feeling:_ Daric asked worriedly. She heard a hoof beat and a horse-shaped shadow fell across the wall of the tent.

"I hurt." She said simply. "My head feels like it's about to pop. Whatever I did, I hope was worth this headache."

_:You ended the war.:_ Daric informed her. _:You panicked the largest part of the Karsite army. Nothing left over there but some bodies.:_

"Bodies?" Afiona repeated in horror.

_:Not from you, except for the Sleeping Priest, his heart gave out. The others got in the way of the prisoners or in the way of their fellow soldiers when the panic set in.:_ Daric explained. _:We've been finding the injured, those who couldn't run, hiding in the forest.:_

"I bet the Lord Marshall is going to want to repeat that performance." Afiona said bitterly.

_:He would, if he were still in charge.:_ Daric's amusement was obvious. _:The healers conspired to get him replaced. The King and Jisa are in charge for the time being until a replacement can be chosen. Dagin, the Lord Marshall's Herald, is assisting the Royals. Apparently we beat him to the punch, almost literally. He was ready to knock the Lord Marshall arse over tea kettle.:_

Afiona chuckled, then winced and held her head.

_:Mama-afi all better now:_ Nico demanded.

"No, not all better." Afiona said regretfully. "Where's Lance?"

_:Lance was using a stick 'cause he got hurt bad.:_ Nico informed her.

"How bad?" Afiona demanded.

_:His leg is pretty messed up, but you saved it from having to be amputated.:_ Daric answered. _:He left about two candle marks ago, just before Nico arrived.:_

"I thought I felt him." Afiona yawned.

_:Here comes Leander.:_ Daric warned.

Afiona made a face as Leander stepped into the tent and stopped when he saw she was awake.

"Good morning." He said as he tried to get past Nico with no success.

"Good morning." Afiona answered. "What's been going on?"

"Well, you've been unconscious for a week now." Leander finally managed to get around Nico and sat next to her head on the cot. "I know several people who will be glad to see you awake, but you should have stayed asleep. It would have been easier on you."

"I meant with the patients." Afiona clarified. "Daric says the fighting is over. Are we moving them soon? There was a Healing temple not too far from here, we can move everyone there now that our location is not critical."

"Afiona, remember what I said before you left?" Leander asked. "You are staying put for at least two months, if not longer."

"I thought you hated being in charge." Afiona said as he reached down to touch her forehead.

"I do. But you trained Shain well, it's not nearly the burden it could be." Leander frowned. "You're still too cold. I'll bring you some medication for the pain and some broth."

Afiona made a face at the idea of invalid's food but knew it was probably all her stomach could handle. "Why not just a pain block?"

"Because we'd rather you get some sleep too, and the medication will help with that." Leander explained. "Now, Nico, what don't you go outside and see your daddy while I talk to your mom."

Nico raised his head, snorted, and returned to trying to cuddle up with Afiona.

"What do you have to say?" Afiona asked.

"Afiona, you know you need rest and you are not going to get it with him in here." Leander explained.

"Leander, he may have four feet but he is my son, if he needs to be comforted for a couple hours than by all the gods I will stay awake and comfort him." Afiona said firmly and winced as her headache spiked again.

"My primary concern is you." Leander countered. "The sooner you get some rest the sooner you can be on your feet which will be even more comforting to him."

"Leander, he felt me vanish, he thought I was dead." Afiona snapped. "A couple candle marks is not going to hurt me and it will help him."

"Very well, but I am still going to bring the medicine. Perhaps in a couple days we can take you back to Haven." Leander stood. "Nico, you let your mom rest, alright? The more she rests the better she gets."

Nico raised his head and nodded.

As promised he returned almost immediately with a bitter tasting potion and a bowl of weak broth.

Nico was convinced to stand back as Leander fed her, she was too weak and shaky to manage the spoon, and gave her a dose of medication that quickly caused her to be light headed.

"Nico, if your mommy falls asleep let her sleep, alright?" Leander asked.

Nico nodded and moved to take his spot next to Afiona's head.

_:Want a story Mama-Afi:_ He asked as he folded his legs and lay next to her cot with his head on the edge of the cot.

"Sure." Afiona rolled onto her side and scratched his ears.

_:Once there was a little boy named Nico…:_ He started. It was how most of the stories Afiona, Stef, and Medren told him started.

Afiona fought to keep her eyes open as he rambled on.

_:Go to sleep, I'll take him over to the other Companions and keep him occupied.:_ Daric offered.

"Alright." Afiona smiled rather dreamily as she kissed Nico on the nose. "You go with daddy."

_:No.:_ Nico said and snuggled closer to Afiona. _:Not leave Mama-Afi alone.:_

Afiona pet his nose. "You go with daddy, I'll go see Lance. Is that alright?"

_:No.:_ Daric said firmly

_:That's good.:_ Nico said and lurched to his feet.

Afiona slowly sat up and lowered her legs over the edge of her cot.

_:Afiona, you are supposed to stay in bed.:_ Daric reminded him.

Afiona shook her head. "I'm going to go to Lance and sleep with him."

Daric sighed, obviously being drugged hadn't made Afiona anymore tractable. _:Lie down, you can barely string three words together. You can't make it to Lance without falling flat on your face.:_

_:I help:_ Nico said happily.

_:Son, you aren't helping.:_ Daric sighed.

_:I help now.:_ Nico moved close to Afiona allowing her to hold onto him as she swayed to her feet.

With one arm over Nico's back and him supporting most of her weight Afiona ignored Daric's continued protests and emerged into the day.

Blinking owlishly up at the sun she grinned. "Isn't it a pretty day?"

_:Very pretty.:_ Nico agreed.

"I am so proud of you." Afiona informed Nico who pranced with pleasure at the sentiment causing Afiona to lose her balance and plummet to the ground with a laugh.

_:Sorry.:_ Nico flipped his ears back and hung his head.

"Afiona!" Lance lurched from his bed, grabbed his cane and hurried to her.

"Lance, just the one I wanted to see." Afiona grinned dreamily up at him as he carefully knelt next to her.

"Are you hurt?" Lance asked worriedly.

Afiona shook her head. "Don't think so, but those drugs are pretty strong, I wouldn't feel a broken bone right about now."

"That's not reassuring." Lance said dryly and brushed the hair from her face. "Need some help back to bed?"

"Your bed." Afiona informed him. "I was going to your bed."

Lance chuckled as he managed to get himself to his feet then helped haul Afiona to her feet. "My bed?"

"Yes. Nico doesn't want me to be alone and I want to be with you." Afiona explained. "Everybody happy." She threw her arm out in a wide gesture and nearly knocked both of them to the ground.

Lance winced as his leg protested.

"Oh, I hurt you!" Afiona clung to him and tried to look down at his weak leg. "Oh no, that looks painful."

Lance held her close against his chest so she wouldn't try something else that could harm their precarious balance. "It doesn't hurt that badly."

"Oh, good." Afiona rubbed her cheek against his chest and wound her arms around his neck.

"How drugged are you?" Lance asked.

"Very." She admitted with a grin.

"Let's go lie down before someone spots us." Lance suggested.

"Too late." Afiona sighed.

Lance looked around, they were just out of sight of the majority of the healers in the tent. "Who's coming?"

"Seviot." Afiona straightened and stepped away. "I am going to give him a piece of my mind."

"How do you know?" Lance asked and managed to catch her before she fell again.

"I can Feel him." Afiona turned around to face the direction she sensed Seviot.

"Afiona, you're drugged and barely able to stand, let's go lie down and deal with him later." Lance suggested and tried to coax her towards her tent.

"No." Afiona said stubbornly.

At that moment Seviot rounded the side of the tent and stormed towards them.

"He'd do this even if I was still in bed." Afiona informed Lance.

"He tries touching you, and he's a dead man." Lance whispered in her ear.

_:I second that.:_ Daric grumbled.

_:Huh:_ Nico looked at the two males in confusion. _:Oh, Bad Man:_

"Daric, you better take Nico." Lance said just loud enough for the Companion to hear.

"Trying to run away, Mavelan?" Seviot accused loudly.

A few Healers poked their heads out and quickly called for reinforcements.

Afiona shook her head and stepped away from Lance. "Hardly. I am not the one who runs away. You have been running away a long time, haven't you?"

Seviot's eyes widened in panic and he looked around for an escape and saw the growing number of Healers. This was probably his last chance to prove Afiona for the monster she was.

"I accuse _Healer_ Afiona Mavelan of misuse of her gift causing death." He sneered loudly.

A whisper rushed through the Healers.

Such an accusation was always investigated by the Circle. Usually by a hearing and such hearings were rare and always infamous. Regardless of the verdict the Healer usually was forced to find a remote temple to serve in to escape the gossip.

"I accuse Healer Seviot for knowingly help kill hundreds merely to get rank and power." Afiona accused with more coherence than she should have been capable of.

Seviot took an involuntary step back. "Liar."

Afiona stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm not a liar, you helped my father. That's why you hate Mavelans. You were almost one of them."

Leander stepped out of the crowd of Healers. "What's the meaning of this? Afiona you are violating your own rules, don't settle your feuds in public."

"He started it." Afiona pointed at Seviot and swayed backwards. Lance caught her and helped her back to her feet.

"I demand you have her arrested!" Seviot said to the growing group of Heralds that were hemming in the square leaving Afiona, Lance, and Seviot in the center.

"I remember you now." Afiona informed him.

He froze.

"You thought my mind was as blank as a bowl of water and told my father I was useless. You told him that powers require a mind to yield. You knew what would happen when I had no worth. The only reason I survived was because Herald Vanyel destroyed the others." Afiona accused. "How many others did you declare ungifted and sentenced to death?"

"Liar!" Seviot spat.

"Afiona? What are you talking about?" Leander asked.

"He was the Healer who served my father. I hated him you know? Because he wouldn't let me stay in that black place. He kept making me better so I could get hurt." Afiona said and jabbed a finger at Seviot. "Now the black place isn't as nice. It's lonely." She tilted her head back and grinned up at Lance who placed a kiss on her forehead.

"She's lying!" Seviot exclaimed. "She's trying to make you forget what she did!"

"You're as evil as Vedric." Afiona said loudly. "You may not have held the knife but you killed hundreds if not thousands. How long has it been that your powers have failed you?"

Seviot paled.

Leander frowned and extended his shields around Afiona who settled back against Lance with a vacant grin. "I thought as much."

"What?" A young healer demanded.

"She's drugged, unshielded, and a mind healer. That wasn't her accusing him of crimes; that was his fears of her remembering him and telling us." Leander explained. "That, Heralds, was a confession."

Before anyone could react Nico reacted.

_:You bad! EVIL:_ He charged the Healer who pulled a dagger from a sheath hidden by his robes and raised it to strike at the young Companion.

Afiona bolted forward and shoulder Nico enough to the side that the dagger cleaved only air.

Straightening she glared at Seviot with all the hatred her spare frame could contain. "That's my son." She growled. It was if the drugs haze had been banished in the space of a heartbeat leaving a mother whose only concern was the protection of her baby.

Seviot raised his arm again and was poised to bring it down into Afiona's chest when she grabbed his arm. He screamed and dropped the dagger as pain shot through his wrist as her delicate fingers squeezed down on a pressure point.

Before he could recover again Lance's cane flashed down and struck him on the temple. The Heralds caught him before he stuck the ground and unceremoniously hauled him upright.

Mia shoved her way past a couple Healers. "Get him out of here before Bardaric makes a trial unnecessary."

Two Heralds hauled Seviot off with about as much gentleness as a wolf mauling a rabbit.

Afiona's knees finally gave out and Lance reached to catch her only to plummet to the ground with her.

_:Mama-afi:_ Nico stood over her looking worried.

Afiona tried to blink away the odd image of a young man overlaid on top of her son. He looked so worried and she wanted to comfort him. The young man faded away leaving only a very concerned young colt.

"I'm just fine, baby." She assured him as she rolled off Lance. One of the Healers helped her sit up and another wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

"We are going to have to tell the Circle of his accusations." Leander warned. "You know that."

Afiona grinned. "Go for it. They can't do a thing."

Everyone stared at her in confusion except for the remaining Heralds.

"I'm a Herald, I only answer to a Circle of my peers." Afiona informed them.

Daric finally managed to reach her and rubbed his nose against her cheek.

"I don't think she's joking." One Healer said in awe.

"Yup, she's ours." Mia said entirely too cheerful.

Leander shook his head. "Let's get these two back to their beds."

"I'm still going to Lance's bed." Afiona informed him.

Leander shook his head. "Fine, get them both in one bed, I don't care whose. And someone find out what they're going to do with Seviot."

"Well, let's start with attempted murder of a Companion." Mia suggested dryly.

"He's mad." Afiona informed them.

"No kidding." Mia said sarcastically.

Afiona shook her head. "I mean he's insane, not working with a full set of tools, missing a few cards from the deck, nuttier than housekeeper's pies."

"Oh _wonderful_." Mia grumbled interrupting Afiona.

"So?" Leander asked.

"By law he can't be put on trial or executed until he's declared sane." Lance explained. "And then if they believe he was insane at the time of the crime he can't be found guilty. The most they can do is leave him in the custody of mind healers if there is a chance he might do it again. And everything Afiona was accusing him of didn't happen in Valdemar. The country it did happen in was first absorbed by Baires, then by Valdemar."

"Ah." Leander said in understanding. "So who can make a judgment there?"

"That would be _Lady _Afiona." Mia said dryly.

Everyone looked at Afiona who was happily cuddling Nico and whispering to him about how much she had missed him.

"Not until after she's on her feet again." Leander said quickly. "Now get up Herald Lance and let's get her back into bed."

Lance struggled to his feet and grinned wickedly as he helped Afiona to her feet.

"And none of _that_ until she's on her feet." Leander said quickly.

"Don't need to be standing up for _that_." Afiona giggled.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Afiona sat behind the large desk normally reserved for the Haven's Herald Judges. People from every walk of life had packed the courtroom and awaited Afiona's judgment in near silence. Only a few metres in front of her stood Seviot, bracketed between two burly City guards and chained hand and foot. He had become a wraith of a man in the months since his arrest. His cheeks were gaunt, and his fingers were almost skeletal from his stubborn refusal to eat anything in case the Heralds poisoned it. His gaze was fixed on her face, with a glare that was creepy enough to cause the hair on the back of her neck to rise, but she ignored it.

Afiona was dressed in dark blue, not the Whites she had yet to earn, to make it clear she was making the judgment as a civilian. In these circumstances, with the crimes occurring in what was technically another country she could pass any judgment she wished, even death. It had been tempting to order him beheaded or hung for his crime against her father's victims and in revenge for his attempt on Nico's life, but eventually the Herald-to-be won out over the irate mother.

On the benches closest to her were members of Seviot's family, as well as victims and relatives of victims of the Mavelan family. In the back benches and along the walls there were Heralds, Healers, Bards, soldiers, and macabre sightseers from every rank in society.

Seviot's relatives had pled for leniency, the victims of the Mavelans held him as responsible as the culprits themselves and demanded death. There was no way she could appease them all. She had spent her time recovering searching chronicles for some idea of how to proceed and eventually found a case in the earliest years of Valdemar that was similar.

Straightening in the ill padded chair she gave thanks the title was going to be given to Tashir's second son soon and she would never be giving judgment as a Lady again.

"Seviot, you violated your oaths as a healer and helped perpetrate a great crime against many innocent people." Afiona said just loud enough to be heard. People in the back leaned in with anticipation. "For the next two years you will be under the direct care of Healer Adilia, a Mindhealer in Lineas. You will act as her assistant and work towards healing the wounds you and my family created."

Seviot's eyebrow twitched upwards slightly, the only sign of his surprise at her leniency.

"After two years, if Adilia believes you to be of sound mind, you will be tried by the Lineas people themselves for crimes you committed while in the service of the Mavelans." Afiona announced. "You will not fool her, she is the one who taught the majority of our Mindhealers before moving to the Lineas Temple. May I suggest you make the best use of those two years and try to create some goodwill among the people there?"

"Two years?" A young man, a nephew of Seviot's, bolted to his feet. "You are merely delaying his trial until there is less attention so you can kill him."

Heralds and Healers burst out with protests which were quickly silenced by Afiona's sharp demand for peace.

"At this trial thirteen good men and women who have no relation to any of the victims or you will listen to the evidence presented and decide your fate." Afiona continued. "A Herald from Haven, with no connection to the region, will supervise the proceedings and judge the accuracy of evidence before it's presented to the jury. The decision reached by the jury, if it can be upheld by the law, is final. No appeals."

There was a wave of muttering amongst everyone present.

"If they are lenient and set you free you must leave Valdemar immediately. If you return then you will be tried on the attempted murder of a Companion. With so many Heralds and Healers as witnesses you _will_ be executed." Afiona said calmly but her fists clenched at the memory of Nico charging Seviot and the deadly glint of the knife. It was a little foggy from the drugs she had been given at the time but it only made the memory more horrific to her. She couldn't help but think what would have happened if she had been just a second slower. Nightmares of the event still plagued her.

"If you are found to be unstable or unfit to stand trial you will spend the remainder of your life in the custody of Mindhealers , locked away from the world." Afiona warned.

Seviot glared up at her.

Afiona stared at him impassively. "Seviot, if I see you again I will not care if it's unethical, I will kill you by any means at my disposal. Am I understood?"

Seviot glared at her, unmoving.

"Am I understood?" Afiona repeated with steel in her voice.

"Yes." Seviot snarled.

_:And if you miss, I won't.:_ Daric commented for the first time during the proceedings.

_:He won't get close to you, I promise.:_ Lance assured her.

Afiona suppressed a smile at their comments. Lance was still prone to treating her like she's made of glass where as Daric was back to treating her as his partner.

Afiona stood and carefully walked away. She was still weak from her rescue but they could delay the judgment no longer. It had already been several months, over which she had changed her stance from angry mother saying 'kill him' to the more Heraldic one.

Exiting by a small door in the back Lance met her.

"How are you doing?" He asked softly as she wrapped her arms around him and burrowed her face in his pristine white tunic.

"Do you think I did the right thing?" She asked. It was the first time she asked his opinion since the early days when he had told her it was her decision and he didn't want to influence it.

"I would have ordered him killed." Lance admitted as he rested his chin on the top of her head. "But your decision will give your people a chance to make a judgment against your family in a way. I suspect it will also make the transition to Valdemaran a bit easier for them."

"I hope it will." Afiona sighed. "Tashir has been under pressure from them to separate again. They preferred being their own country."

"The nobles would. Now they are small fish in a big pond where they used to be the big fish in a small one. I doubt those who work the land care as much for who is in charge as they do for the weather." Lance observed.

Afiona chuckled.

"Mama-afi, Lance, I thought I might find you two here." Shain greeted them as he entered through the door. "Good call on Seviot's punishment. I, personally, would have had him strung up by his toenails, but then again, I am not a Herald."

Afiona stepped away from Lance and smiled at her friend. "You came all this way to hear me pronounce judgment? Who is taking care of the Temple up north?"

"My replacement." Shain grinned. "The Speaker for the Healers is getting old and asked me to be his replacement."

"What?" Afiona gaped.

"Good choice." Lance said. "You have the noble blood to impress the nobles and the youth and idealism to off set the cynicism and age of the old fools."

"I wonder if Mia knows." Afiona grinned at Lance.

Shain rolled his eyes. "She doesn't give up, does she?"

"You aren't her healer anymore." Afiona pointed out.

"True. But I think she likes the challenge." Shain winked. "Speaking of being someone's healer and the responsibility it entails, shouldn't you be resting still? You look exhausted."

"I was about to escort her back to the Palace." Lance assured him. "Nico is anxious to have his Mama-afi back where he can check on her."

"He is still worried she is going to vanish?" Shain asked with a note of concern.

"A little." Afiona admitted. "It's more that he has been told so many times to be careful because mommy's tired that he wants to make sure I am resting like I should."

Lance chuckled. "Like last night?" He asked with a wink.

Afiona blushed a bright red. "Lance!"

"You supposed to _rest _in beds Mama-Afi!" Lance quoted the young Companion.

Afiona poked Lance in the ribs with her elbow, which only made him laugh.

"Sounds like my nephew." Shain grinned. "He walked in on my brother and his wife and asked if he could have a ride too."

"One of these nights we should get together and catch up." Afiona said after a chuckle. "I'm tired so we should get going."

With Lance's free arm around her waist they made their way down the hall and towards the snowy, winter day and to the carriage that awaited her.

Shain watched them go with a hint of sadness on his features. He had no doubt that Afiona was with the man she deserved, but he still wished she was on his arm.

Shaking his head he stepped back out into the courtroom where people were still standing around talking, not yet prepared to face the winter weather.

"Heyya gorgeous." Mia purred as she sidled up next to him. "What are you doing this evening? You owe me a picnic."

"It's a trifle cold for a picnic." Shain pointed out seriously.

"Outside perhaps. But I do have a nice cozy room, all to myself." Mia looped her arm through his. "Just you, me, and the bed sheets. Whaddya say, hmm?"

Outside Lance helped her into a carriage they had borrowed from the royal stables then climbed in next to her. Afiona rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Are you alright?" Lance asked worriedly.

"Yes, love." Afiona assured him. "Just a little tired. As usual."

Lance wrapped an arm around her shoulders and stared out the window at the snow lazily floating down. "I like your Judgment but some people will say you are merely delaying the inevitable or leaving the dirty work to someone else."

"I am too biased to make a decision." Afiona admitted. "All I could rule on was his involvement in my family's activities. The few survivors I could talk to could not say he ever hurt anyone, he just kept them alive so they could continue to be used. What he is responsible for is the mental anguish he caused with his healings. The Law there was that if someone refused Healing you could not force it on them."

"So, he is going to end up a scapegoat?" Lance frowned.

"No. The Herald that will preside will see to that." Afiona assured him. "I asked Herald Tantras to do it. He's fair and related to the king which will let the people there feel like the monarch does care."

"Good choice." Lance reassured her as she rested her head on his shoulder and went limp with emotional exhaustion. "Any regrets?"

"About what?" Afiona asked in confusion, straightening to meet his gaze.

"Seviot." Lance clarified.

Afiona shrugged. "No, I don't regret letting him live."

"You don't regret that you won't get revenge for what he and your father did to you?" Lance asked.

"Ah, but I do get revenge." Afiona grinned. "My family's title no longer exists, everything they built has been destroyed, and even their country has vanished. A hundred years from now only scholars will know they existed and even then they will probably be little more than part of Herald Vanyel's legend. And best of all, I survived and I can say their legacy stops with me."

_:Bravo, heart sister.:_ Daric cheered. _:Well said.:_

"Bad enough that if we do have children they are the children of the Famous Herald-Healer Afiona." Lance teased.

Afiona laughed. "They'd be pretty spoiled, wouldn't they? Bards for uncles, Heralds for grandparents and parents, and a Healer for a mother."

"Do you want children?" Lance asked. "Since we both will be assigned to Haven for the rest of our lives we wouldn't have to leave them behind for circuits."

"I never thought of it." Afiona said honestly. "Nico was a complete surprise, remember?"

"You've done great with him." Lance pointed out.

"Well, it will be at least another year before I could handle pregnancy health-wise. Plenty of time to think." Afiona pointed out.

_:Mama-afi:_ Nico interrupted.

_:Yes:_ Afiona asked.

_:I want a brother. A two footer is ok. Or a sister.:_ Nico said eagerly. _:Are they really little:_

Afiona rolled her eyes. _:Maybe:_

_

* * *

_

Afiona sat back on her heels and wiped some sweat from her brow. The day was easily one of the hottest this year. Most of the trainees that didn't go home for the couple months they had off had headed out of town to paddle in the river or study in the shade. Her three protégés were currently among the trainees trying to escape the heat of the day.

Her two former protégés, Esrich and Ulther, after being feted as heroes had manage to find their place. Esrich was now a priest in a temple in the city and Ulther had joined the military and was doing very well. Both visited her as often as their busy lives allowed.

The Council had all retreated to their country homes, at least those wealthy enough had. Shain and Mia had opted to take their two children, both energetic handfuls, to visit his relatives. Even the Royal family had decided to relocate to a grand summer home just a candlemark's ride by Companion away.

Even among the Heralds there were only a handful still here to help the three newly Chosen adapt to their new lives and get a start on their lessons. Lance, as the geography and tactics teacher, was currently with them.

_:Are you out of the sun:_ Afiona asked Daric.

Daric chuckled. _:Yes, I am in the shade and have no intention of moving. Nearly done digging in the garden:_

_:I am going to call it a day.:_ Afiona said as she stood. _:Finding a patch of shade of my own and a book sounds wonderful.:_

_:You are welcome to join me. I'm at the far end of the field, near the river.:_ Daric invited.

_:I think I will.:_ Afiona said as she went inside to change her clothing.

"Are we alone?" Lance asked as he poked his head out the door.

"You're early." Afiona greeted him. "And yes, the coast is clear. Nakita is off with the trainees and Nico is in the field."

"Good." Lance drew her towards the seclusion of their bedroom. "Any emergencies expected?"

"No. And Tika can deal with any heat stroke." Afiona assured him.

"Excellent." He grinned wickedly.

Afiona was about to close the door when they heard the childish shriek.

"Nakita." Lance sighed.

"Mommy!" A little girl with her mother's honey colored curls and her father's brown eyes ran into the room full tilt and hid behind Afiona's legs. Hot on her tail was the sheep dog Afiona had adopted a year earlier.

"What are you up to?" Afiona asked.

"We're playing tag." Nakita explained.

The dog obediently sat in front of Afiona and waited for her charge to run again.

Out in the hall the voices of the trainees who were their protégés echoed slightly. All three were young men, one was a cousin to the king, another was a farm boy, and the third a merchant's son but they had become close friends since being Chosen roughly a year earlier.

Lance scooped up his daughter and carried her out into the main room. "Have you seen Stefan?"

"I saw him out in the Gardens singing for some ladies." The farm boy, Elex, explained. He grinned when he noticed Afiona standing in the door to their room. "You know, I think today is just too nice to stay inside. Why don't we go join the Companions in the shade?"

"Me too!" Nakita said eagerly and squirmed to be let down. Lance obliged by releasing her. Almost immediately she was off and running again with the dog on her heels and the boys trailing behind.

Nakita was always on the go, usually running as fast as her four year old legs could take her until she was tired, at which point she's curl up in the oddest place to sleep and recharge before taking off again.

"Now then." Lance limped back to her. "How soon do you think we will be interrupted again?"

_:Mom:_ Nico said hesitantly.

"You jinxed it." Afiona teased. _:Yes:_

_:I need to talk to you. Now.:_ Nico said with uncharacteristic seriousness.

Lance frowned. _:Is everything ok:_

_:Yes.:_ Nico quickly assured them. _:I just need to talk to you, it's important.:_

Lance gathered his cane, which he still needed for longer walks and Afiona led the way out into the sunlight. Nico quickly led the way to the Stables.

Afiona stopped and glanced back at Lance. _:Do you think…:_ She asked, careful not to allow Nico to hear her.

_:I think so.:_ Lance answered. _:He's a bit young but Carmia says the ones with special abilities tend to Choose young.:_

Afiona grabbed his hand for strength. _:He is only ten years old:_

Lance squeezed her hand reassuringly. _:He wouldn't be hearing the Call unless he was ready.:_

_:He maybe ready but I am not:_ Afiona bit her lip to keep from saying anything.

In the stable Nico stopped at his stall. _:I need you to saddle me.:_ He said with undisguised eagerness. _:The good stuff.:_

Lance released Afiona's hand. "I'll go see about some provisions for you."

Afiona wished he had stayed but was glad for the few moments alone. This would be the last time she would be the center of Nico's life. "Are you sure?"

_:Very.:_ Nico said confidently. _:Don't worry, I'll be ok. No heroics.:_

Afiona gathered the brushes and started to groom. "Do you know where you are going?"

_:Northish.:_ Nico answered vaguely.

"Be careful. And when you find them, tell me, alright?" Afiona asked.

_:Of course. Just promise you won't follow.:_ Nico requested.

_:I won't.: _Afiona promised.

_:Don't even Watch, alright:_ Nico pushed.

_:I'll check on you.:_ Afiona said firmly. _:I won't lie and say I won't.:_

_:Just don't watch all the time, please.:_ Nico said plaintively.

_:I won't. But if you or your Chosen need Healing to call me immediately.:_ Afiona set aside the brush and moved around to his head. He was tall enough now that he looked down at her. The spindly legs that had once foiled games of chase were now long and swift. His mane cascaded over one shoulder and his tail fluttered down around his hocks. "I'm proud of you."

Nico lowered his head so his forehead was against her chest. _:Do you think they're scared? It doesn't seem right that I am happy when he could be frightened or alone. What if they're in danger:_

Afiona scratched Nico's ears. _:You wouldn't get the call now if you couldn't arrive in time and if they are scared their fear doesn't have much longer to last.:_

Nico sighed and lifted his head again. _:Thanks.:_

"I packed some traveling food and a skin of water."Lance said as he reentered. "I also packed a medic kit, some spare clothing, a blanket, and some of those honey cakes. There is a small pouch of money, in case you need it."

_:How long have you to known what to pack:_ Nico asked suspiciously.

"We've been talking about it for two years or so." Afiona admitted.

Lance set aside his cane and saddled Nico while Afiona stayed by his head trying not to act like a clingy mother.

Much too soon his hackamore was in place and his saddle cinched.

"Take care." Afiona reminded him yet again as they stepped outside.

Nakita, running as fast as her legs could carry her, barreled towards them and threw her arms around Nico's forelegs. "You going now?"

Nico nodded, unable to speak to the little girl he considered a sister. It was one of his dearest hopes that she would one day have mindspeech so he could tease her about her childhood scrapes. He also wouldn't mind having another person to tell his stories too. They had progressed far past the childish 'Nico' stories.

Nico lowered his head to allow the little girl to kiss his cheek. _:Tell her I'll be back soon.:_ He asked of the two humans who had been his parents.

Afiona ruffled Niki's hair. "He says he'll come back soon."

Nakita heaved a huge sigh. "He better."

_:Not coming to say good bye:_ Afiona asked Daric.

_:I already did.:_ Daric assured her. _:I knew it was coming, he was getting restless. Don't worry, He'll be back, safe, sound, hale, and whole with a new chick for your nest.:_

Nico started away at a brisk trot, his ears up and every muscle quivering with excitement. _:Wish me luck:_ He called as he trotted out the Gate and into the city.

Nakita pulled at her mother's hand. "When do I get to Choose?"

Afiona laughed and knelt down to hug her daughter close.

"I am going to Choose a girl though, there isn't enough girls here." She said as she returned the embrace.

"Want to go swimming?" Lance asked Nakita, hoping to distract her.

"YES!" Nakita shouted and grabbed his hand and tried to drag him the river. She was only allowed to go near the river with her parents.

"I'll get towels." Afiona said as she stood.

On her way back to their rooms she closed her eyes and took a quick peek at Nico's progress.

_:He's not even out of the city.:_ Daric pointed out.

Afiona grimaced at getting caught. _:I was just checking to make certain he wasn't running through traffic in his excitement.:_

_:Good excuse.: Daric said dryly._

_:Don't worry, I'll think up a better one for next time.:_ Afiona said as she continued on her quest for towels.

**_The End_**


End file.
